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(Sorry for my aweful use of “i” and spacing, my phone hates me)
New here. Husband and i are on here now together. He recently opened up to me about his needs to feel feminine. We have been married for almost 3 years and had our 1st baby this year. We are both teachers and bisexual. We both strongly believe in our loving monogamous relationship. Our romantic relationship has actually gotten better. For me, i have always been deeply in love with his soul, which makes his outer appearance all the more attractive (man or woman) He is a wonderful dad and is my best friend and i love him dearly .
After reading all the painful stories about relationships, i know mine is a very good one . It can be very hard though, its very new. New can be scary . We build an image of the man we fell for and its hard when this image changes. I sometimes fear that he will disappear and be replaced by a stranger. I also am irritated with myself because i sometimes feel that my own femininity is threatened. Post baby, I’m having my own body issues while my husband is resolving his own. I want him not to feel controlled by my needs with this, but i have found there are things im saying no about. Its still tame compared to what i’ve read about what other wives have said no to . I just dont want him wearing a wig, he has naturally gold-red hobbit ringlets that most women are envious of and its such a beautifully defining feature of his that I’d rather he grow it long than cover it with a wig.
But we are trying hard to be understanding of each other’s emotions in all this. This is going to be a huge mountain in our relationship, but we’re trying to climb it together and be happy .
I write on here for 2 reasons
1: because i need to know im not alone, because this is scary and i need resources to help me continue to see the beauty in the breakdown
2: to show other wives and SO that you can still have a warm, loving, and romantic relationship with this soul you love so dearly.
Hi River! We have a group here for S/O…..this will put you in touch with others going thru the same issues. My dear friend Elenor is/was working thru the same issues. It seems that you both should be very successful at this change as you are both so positive with each other. If you like, I am available to dicuss the ins/outs of crossdressing. Has there been any indication that he wishes to go transgender? We can chat on private message system or I can send you my personnal e-mail.
I am here for you, River, if you wish. Deepest regards….and hugs…….
Dame Veronica Graunwolf
Hey, no he doesn’t identify as transgender. I think the closest thing would be gender fluid? My younger sister is one herself. He says he feels more masculine at certain times and femme at others . At least for now.
He says he’s not a woman trapped in a man or that he is two people in one . More like the femme and male characteristics are dominate at different times . He does want a feminine name for when he starts dressing fully (he’s still in the terrified aquiring stuff baby steps phase) I want to be a part of this whole process. He was so involved with pur pregnancy .I want to be a part of rhis for him (helping him feel safe shopping, picking out clothes, teaching him how to shave, doing flattering make-up)
We talk a lot about making sure we both are making the other feel desirable. We both know we do feel this way about each other, but really expressing it .
O know, this all seems so promising and and happy, and it is, but there are still moments where i get very overwhelmed and lose it for a bit . Not sadness, just fear that we’ll fall apart, cuz too many couples do for lesser things.
Thanks for reaching out to me❤
Hello River Wife and welcome to CDH. All my best wishes for you and your hubby. You seem to be doing everything right, communicating with each other. As long as the communication and the honesty prevail, you should be ok.
Both of you must be aware that it is ok to set some limits. You will still want to have your husband at least some of the time. There will be times when he may not be feeling like crossdressing. (Or you wont be feeling like to be ok with it at times). Crossdressing is likely an important part of who he is, but it is only that, a part. So, it shouldn’t be present in every aspect of your marriage, unless that is what both of you decide.
Gaby ♥
Sorry, duplicate post…
Gaby ♥
Hi River, I am happy to see the responses that you have received about the SO group. I cannot speak directly for my wife but I think there are moments even with her accepting and supporting that this has been stressful for her. She has told me her concerns and has asked me to always communicate with her where I am in this. So please know that you, like your husband are not alone in this and that if I you or him need to reach out or ask questions please feel free to contact me. hugs, Michelle
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