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If you read my profile you will see that I’m married to a MTF transgender in my second marriage. I joined here today thinking maybe I can bring a message of hope for those of you who, like me, were/are totally frustrated being a closeted CD for most of your life for whatever reason. It was like a bittersweet curse on me that was more bitter than sweet from a very young age. I did foolish things, stupid things trying to cope with an addiction that had me totally in it’s grips. Was in a terrific marriage that I did my best to screw up but somehow didn’t totally ruin it. My wife loved me and somehow put up with it.
Now to the point and why I’m here. I lost my first wife to an early and sudden death and spent 4 years trying to not only deal with losing her but also trying to come to grips with myself and figure out how to move forward, still with this ‘addiction’ of crossdressing. Here’s what I decided needed to be done and what I should have done long before I ever got married the first time. Accept it as being a part of me that needed to not feel guilty or frustrated or let it be in control. I don’t think I could have handled it alone.
Either have told my intended about my crossdressing before marriage (which many of us think we will get over once married….yeah right) to be sure she could and would accept it in the marriage. Or, do as I have now, marry a transgender who not only satisfied a curiosity I had for years about them….but, mostly, being able to find one who wasn’t just a sexual fantasy but who is a good loving companion who is just living her life as she is meant to be. And I now have found freedom to do as I wish with my crossdressing with someone who not only accept, but encourages.
I cannot ever recover those long years of frustration and feeling guilty but I now can live my life free from all of that. I hope others will read this and realize and accept that if you are like me, you will NEVER be free from crossdressing and you better accept it as a part of you. Don’t ‘pretend’ that you can just stop. YOU NEVER WILL! If you are young find your happiness in someone before you screw it up. And if you have a second chance like I did, don’t screw up again. I found my answer. You can too.
Sorry this was so long but it is why I’m here. I really want to help you if I can. Message me or whatever if you think I can. Thank you!
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