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The Woman Inside, Lauren’s Journey.
A year ago I came out to the world as being transgender, and it has been an amazing year for me. Finally, after the majority of my life, I was able to live as the person I was born as, the one I’ve always known I truly was. This past year has been a roller coaster of emotions, with many ups and downs. I now know what it is to be an outcast, to be shunned, forgotten, and basically written off. Many people I considered “friends” have proven that was never true, as transgender people quickly find out who their true friends are.
Those were the downs, but there were amazing and wonderful ups! Living as the woman I’ve always felt I was, since childhood, has been so emotionally fulfilling that I cannot find adequate words to describe the sheer joy that one experiences. I work in an office environment as the supervisor for security. I came out to the staff, which is largely made up of women, as being transgender and was openly accepted as such. I then announced I would like to transition to living and working as a woman at my workplace. Again, I was not only accepted but welcomed, affirmed and encouraged by my fellow co-workers. I have been told by them that they view me as “one of the girls,” as a woman, the “lady at the security desk.”
I changed my residence and now share a condo with the mother of one of my co-workers, who views me as the lady who lives with her. I now attend a church that accepts me as a trans woman and welcomed me into their congregation. I have reconnected with my artist friends and they look forward to seeing what Lauren comes up with as she gets reacquainted with her pencils.
I now get around the city, to and from work, and everywhere else, using public transit. So far I pass as a woman and the people at my bus stops, and fellow riders on the bus, see, and treat me as such.
This is the week of TDoV, Transgender Day of Visibility, March 31st.
This has caused me to ask myself a serious question. I pass relatively easy as a woman at work and during my every day activities, so the question to myself is this: I am a trans woman, am I going to be visible as such, or go stealthy and blend in? What path do I take?
If I’m going to fight back any haters, be an ambassador for trans people, and CD’s, a role model for who we are, and try to educate people, then I have to be visible, and action often causes reaction. Are we, as transgender persons, or CD’s, willing to take the risk, or do we take the safer path?
I welcome your thoughts.
Ms. Lauren M
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