Best Friend – My Wife

[Hannah Jeanne]

<p class=”yiv5335847215ydp2033d66fMsoNormal” style=”word-break: break-word; color: #000000; font-family: ‘Helvetica Neue’, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 19.68000030517578px; -webkit-text-size-adjust: 123%;”>Update:</p>
<p class=”yiv5335847215ydp2033d66fMsoNormal” style=”word-break: break-word; color: #000000; font-family: ‘Helvetica Neue’, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 19.68000030517578px; -webkit-text-size-adjust: 123%;”>My deal with my wife that I would give up Hannah for the sake of our marriage was sincere but as we all know fraught with undermining influences.  When I made the deal with my wife I did let her know that I couldn’t guarantee that she wouldn’t be back.  I based this not only on my history but that of my friends here as well.</p>
<p class=”yiv5335847215ydp2033d66fMsoNormal” style=”word-break: break-word; color: #000000; font-family: ‘Helvetica Neue’, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 19.68000030517578px; -webkit-text-size-adjust: 123%;”>I lasted a month and a half without Hannah Jeanne.  It was actually easy.   I was focused on us and building our relationship back up.  But an opportunity to travel by myself to see family gave Hannah an opportunity to see daylight again.  Then several weeks later I underdressed every workday for two straight weeks including wearing a bra and large sweaters.</p>
<p class=”yiv5335847215ydp2033d66fMsoNormal” style=”word-break: break-word; color: #000000; font-family: ‘Helvetica Neue’, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 19.68000030517578px; -webkit-text-size-adjust: 123%;”>I then called my counselor who I hadn’t seen since mid-summer to talk things out.  When I told my wife, she knew that Hannah was back.  So we had a phone conversation that night for about an hour discussing the fact that I was dressing again and she seemed resigned to the fact that this is me.  I felt relieved but as I found out later her demeanor over the phone was much more passive than reality.  We both went to my counselor two weeks later and this was her first time to vent to anyone other than the wall.  I regret that she doesn’t have someone to talk to about this situation.  I at least have a small support system in that I have sisters that I have confided in as well as a counselor and doctor.  She is angry, frustrated, confused, feels lied to and helpless.</p>
<p class=”yiv5335847215ydp2033d66fMsoNormal” style=”word-break: break-word; color: #000000; font-family: ‘Helvetica Neue’, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 19.68000030517578px; -webkit-text-size-adjust: 123%;”>Somehow, we have managed to hold it together. As I lay in bed this past Sunday morning with her next to me, I turned my head and told her that she is my best friend (with a tear in my eye).  She didn’t hesitate to say that I was her best friend too.</p>
<p class=”yiv5335847215ydp2033d66fMsoNormal” style=”word-break: break-word; color: #000000; font-family: ‘Helvetica Neue’, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 19.68000030517578px; -webkit-text-size-adjust: 123%;”>Although she has never seen me as Hannah, she must have an image of me that is sexually repulsive. I don’t know if we will ever have relations again and I can’t say I blame her.  After all she married a man.  It wasn’t until twenty some years later that she found out she married someone else to.  That may be too hard to wrap her head around.  We still cuddle at night and she’s held my hand on our most recent date.  But she won’t come near my side of the bedroom in fear of finding something that isn’t her’s, but “her’s”.</p>
<p class=”yiv5335847215ydp2033d66fMsoNormal” style=”word-break: break-word; color: #000000; font-family: ‘Helvetica Neue’, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 19.68000030517578px; -webkit-text-size-adjust: 123%;”>I have hope.  I started this journey with the lowest expectations and hoped for the best.  Right now I am hopeful.</p>
<p class=”yiv5335847215ydp2033d66fMsoNormal” style=”word-break: break-word; color: #000000; font-family: ‘Helvetica Neue’, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 19.68000030517578px; -webkit-text-size-adjust: 123%;”>I pray for all that are going through the same difficulties that I have and wish you all of the best.   Hannah’s back for now.  Just trying to keep it low key and enjoy it when I can.</p>
<p class=”yiv5335847215ydp2033d66fMsoNormal” style=”word-break: break-word; color: #000000; font-family: ‘Helvetica Neue’, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 19.68000030517578px; -webkit-text-size-adjust: 123%;”>Love you all!</p>
Hannah Jeanne

[Leonara]

Hannah. Thank you for for that timely article tha is very close to my situation… You have a wonderful gift of writing. Please keep me (us) of your progress .. I am sure with your love
Your relationship will survive… Leonara

[cdheaven]

It’s so sad to see this over and over. I only know one thing about this and to me it’s very simple having gone through it with my last wife. No details but in a nut shell- If she loves you, she’ll love all of you no question asked. From my experience, that’s what partners do- support, love accept, evolve, and adapt together.

In other words. How do you wish she was better or fulfilling? Right ?

[Hannah Jeanne]

She does which is why I believe it will work.

[Author]

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