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For the past 12 months or so, now that the kids are out of the house, I’ve had a few short periods of time when I would be home alone. That is, when my wife would visit her mother in Florida and go on a weekend girls trip, etc.
In the lead up to these periods, I think about spending the entire day as Kimmie, putting on lipstick and makeup, painting my nails, perhaps going for a drive. When the time has come, however, I have ended up doing none of it. I mean none.
I don’t feel anxious or guilty, or any other emotion that would “stop” me from dressing. It’s more that the desire is not strong enough and I don’t feel the need. Over time, and really for my entire adult life, my dressing has usually served as a stress reliever. Perhaps I’m just not feeling stress at the moment (Odd given the coronavirus, but . . . .)
Has anyone else experienced this or similar periods?
Many years ago I got caught by my wife when we were still married. That went badly and I resolved to never dress again. That actually seemed to work and I didn’t think about dressing for several years. Of course the desire came back and I started dressing.
So to answer your question, my desire to present as a female comes often, and it gets stronger every day I ignore it. So I dress. I makes me feel better. I’ve learned to accept that. It’s who I am.
Everyone is different. There’s no right or wrong with the way anyone goes about their dressing. You’ll know when you really want or need to dress. Be good to yourself.
Namaste,
EmilyHi Kimmie,
I think it’s more than a stress reliever. If it we’re just that you would not find yourself thinking about doing your nails and being Kimmie. For me dressing before I came out to my SO was mentally draining the emence high and the rotten come down. So yes sometime I was not willing to go through the process. Just to put it away. To be free I needed my best friend to know Dana. I broke through my barrier. I hope you do to. In the end you can be Kimmie in your mind remember there’s no rule book to this.
I wish you well on your journey.
Dana 💋 ❤️
Hi Kimmee, I understand that feeling to some degree. Mostly it’s now, is there enough time to do it ‘right’? I mean I still have the feelings and desires, and I would like to be able to express them whenever I want, but lots of other life issues tend to rise up and, at least, at that moment, appear to be a little more pressing than what I may desire then, especially if I can’t go full mode, lingerie, dress, heels, wig, makeup, etc.
But, it also seems to go in, oh, I don’t want to say cycles, but that’s a substitute description. Sometimes I’ll get a really strong urge, and if it happens when there is time and other issues won’t interfere (too badly, ha!), then I’ll dive right in. Yet I will admit there are occasions where I do have the time, but other than let my imagination run, even though I have some desire, I won’t do. I will also say that justification for any of this, dressing or not, time or not, is not always pleasant…and does not reduce any stress.
Oh, yes, I’ve seen those ‘cycles’ run in days, weeks, months, both ways. I like numbers and I should have written it all down to see if there is any kind of pattern, starting, ending, etc. but I haven’t.
Something I live live with and I wouldn’t be surprised, others too.
Hi Kimmie I think it is very common. There are many reasons for our crossdressing. One maybe just a stress reliever. I have experienced something like you. I was given all the time i wanted for a short period of time and i just did not want to go through all the effort. I think the ladies here call it the pink frog. Yesterday i could not get enough. I wanted to go out shopping and buy something cute most times that would last about a week or more then the energy would dissipate slightly. The important thing to remember is that your dressing satisfies a need you you have to feel good . There is nothing wrong with crossdressing it does serve a purpose in your life. Most likely that desire will not going away permanently. I think Kimmie is satisfied. Enjoy that special part of who you are. It is what makes you special. It really is to bad that society still attaches some stigma of doing something bad or unnatural. You are not alone there are millions if us. There is nothing wrong with wanting to feel good about your self. If i you want to paint my toes now. Then paint your toes. If you do not then don’t its that simple luv Stephanie
For me dressing can work as a stress reliever. I’m actually starting to think not dressing for too long is a source of stress in and of itself.
But yeah I absolutely do experience this sometimes to. To the point where sometimes I start to think my desire to dress is gone for good… but I’ve been doing this long enough to know it will be back eventually. Getting dressed up can be a bit of a chore even when I really want to, so there will always be times when my desire to dress is not that strong and I simply decide it’s not worth the effort. I guess we just have to go with the flow and go easy on ourselves!
Something has changed for me recently with this, maybe as a result of coming out to my s/o. Even in the recent past I would dash to my stash to slip into some cute undies and maybe hosiery given any opportunity, but this is where the line (is there even a line…?) between fetish and relaxing comforting dressing becomes blurred. Any quick dress up inevitably is for quick pleasure.
Now in a state of near lockdown I don’t have those snatched moments, but even if I did I don’t think I’d bother. Without the opportunity for a full dress up, or at least undies and a bit of make up with some time to relax it doesn’t seem worth the effort.
Like the other girls have said tho, there are cycles or waves, and maybe this is just a new type of cycle to get used to.S x
I think that (for me) the reason that I never seem to feel that being Shawna isn’t worth the effort on any given day, is that I AM Shawna – and I’m not “crossdressing” – I’m simply going about my day. I realize this isn’t the case for all girls – and that the urge to express their femininity comes and goes as circumstances change and evolve.
My personal realization on this is simply more confirmation that the choices I make in moving toward always being Shawna, are the right ones.
Thank you for bringing up this topic!
Hugs to all,
Shawna
Kimmie,
For many of us dressing is a stress reliever. Our desires/needs go from one extreme to another. For some it is a sexual things for others not any more. Regardless of why you or we dress, do what feels right and what you want to do. I have always said it is not fair that ladies can wear what ever clothes they want without any issues. While on the other hand, if we war something feminine, we are “labeled” as gay (nothing wrong with being gay) or messed up. That just adds to the negative stigma we deal with everyday in trying to accept and embrace our dressing.
It dos not help that many GG’s are not accepting or willing to participate, which also adds to our mind games. You need to do what you want, when you want, top the extent of the dressing you want to do. Embrace and accept it!
Hi Kimmie – yes, it has happened. Usually I take advantage of the opportunities for some time, but I have had instances where it just didn’t seem that I needed to. I recall it seemed odd at the time, but just another of those internal things I couldn’t quite explain to myself. Just accepted it. Mikey
I have been feeling depressed lately. I partly blame it on not being able to dress. My wife is ‘It is okay but I don’t want to see you’. Well we are hunkered down until we get vaccinated for the Corona virus. This means neither she nor I are away from home other than quick trips for grocery pickup, drugstore, etc.
On the other hand, she has made me some beautiful masks. I love them – such bright feminine colors. I picked a couple of the fabrics – she knows I love color, but the one I love most is a fabric she picked out and surprised me with the mask. I sometimes think she suspects my love of color might be a feminine thing. I wear brightly colored ties when the occasion calls for a tie.
For the longest time it seems I needed to be dressed to help deal with the stress and I think part if that stress itself may have been the internal struggle with acceptance of my newly found self. Once I did that and realized that the femme ‘Olivia’ is an integral part of the entire package I don’t always feel the need to display it. I am lucky enough to have the freedom to dress as I please, and mostly do. Its just not needed all the time to feel like the whole me.
Olivia
When I am dressed as Carla any stress that I have flows away. Knowing that I can be her anytime I want makes the guy mode much easier. Dressing keeps me from being depressed, just seeing myself in beautiful comfortable women’s clothes perks my spirit up. Most of my guy clothes are really women’s that pass as something a guy would wear. When home I don’t have to be dolled up but I’m just as happy with panties, short shorts and a tank top on, but when going out I do wear makeup and all the other things that make me Carla. Today I have to return something to Torrid and Belk’s so I will wear a denim skirt, top, sandals, wig and makeup but I could do it in guy mode too if I choose. I think a lot of me being able to either dress or not comes from being Carla my whole life.
Hi Kimmie nice to meet you and im one of the lucky girls here that my wife is very supportive of Stephanie . when we were married 37 years ago I came out to her and she tok a few days to process the idea then we sat and had a lot of conversation and set a few rules to live by and its been wonderful as girlfriends and husband and wife also . I have been dressing since I was a teen when the pink fog came over me and has never left and to date now I have never had a time that I didn’t want to dress up cute but events allways step into life and puts a hold on Stephanie time . So like you said I don’t go full out dolled up but I never miss a evening sitting in a night gown with some lipstick on to help relieve the days work stress and chatting with my girlfriend (aka my wife) about girly things that went on during the day or in the news she is so wonderful and can see when I need to be Stephanie and asks her to come over for a visit like said not all the time she comes over all dolled up which she loves to do mostly all the time so ill quit rambling and say hope you get your Kimmie back and enjoy your girly life its in your heart and sole and will never go away.
Hugs And Kisses
Stephanie
It is a great stress reliever. I had 3 days straight this week, when the wife and kids went to the beach with friends. Getting wear whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted. Finally my items got to see the light of day!!
Then alas, the repacking. I was able get everything back into the 2 crates, even though I had more to pack.
My SO is aware, just doesn’t want to see it. She says she wants to borrow one of blouses, it is cute and in her size. So, maybe one day.
Gloria
Today is my two year anniversary of being a member of CDH. I am so glad that I discovered this happy place. I am now justified to myself. I have stopped purging, made many friends online, and discovered the source of my wanting to dress. I still have just a small wardrobe (my wife does not want to see me dress but she said she does not care if I do). I need to take the next step and ask for a place for my things instead of hiding them. I think that will be the big breakthrough.
Hi Kimmie, Similar experiences have happened to me a number of times. I only get to dress intermittently and the books of time when I am home alone for a few days are cherished and highly anticipated, however there are times when I find myself preoccupied with tother activities that I just don’t feel like taking the time to do myself up completely to fully transform and just don’t get dressed at all.My attitude about most things is do it all the way or don’t do it at all’s it just fits with my personality.That being said I usually ask my self later why I didn’t do what I had intended and missed the opportunity to be femme
Hi everyone, I’ve not been able to dress up for at least 12 months and my stress levels are getting worse day by day, just before Christmas i had to go into hospital for an operation which left me flat on my back in bed till well into the new year it was in a place that wouldn’t let me sit down if you know what i mean, then this covid virus came along and I’ve been stuck at home with my wife who doesn’t know I’m a cross-dresser, i know i should have told her many years ago, i always look forward to September when my wife has a week’s vacation by herself she says she needs a break from everyone and everything to destess herself, well no vacation this year Rozalyne will have to stay in the closet for awhile xxxxx
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