Body image

[Dawn Judson]

Hi Ladies,

Looking for some advice.

I’m not getting any younger and, as I age, I’m seeing things going on with my body, that I’m not too thrilled about. I’m wondering if any of you have any suggestions.

HAIR – I’m growing it out, but my wife keeps telling me that I don’t have the right kind of hair for that. I’ll admit that it’s fine, but it’s also thinning on top. I know that some of you would suggest that HRT can thicken hair, but I don’t think my wife would be happy with the other effects of HRT.

FACE – I’ve had a couple of blepharoplasties to address sagging eyelids & bags under the eyes, but I need a facelift. Unfortunately, that’s cost-prohibitive. Isn’t it ironic that I could get HRT & SRS fully paid for, but not a facelift?

CHEST – I would love to develop my breasts, but again, HRT is probably not an option. Implants? I think my wife would actually enjoy them– but only if I can hide them when in male mode. I’m also not happy with the wrinkles I’m beginning to see in my decolletage.

WAIST – Is this just part of getting older? I walk, run, bike, exercise, play ball. My weight is good, but I have a roll that I can’t seem to get rid of. In fact, it seems to be getting worse. Do I need to get liposuction?

ARMS & LEGS – They’re toned, but are beginning to show the wrinkles, veins & crepey-ness that you’d see on an old lady. How do I nip that in the bud?

I missed out on being that hot 25-year old woman that I should have been. Even though 25 is in my rear-view mirror, is there any reason that I can’t look it & make up for lost time?

Thanks,

Dawn

12 users thanked author for this post.

Paula Hess, Jessica Maddison, Fredrika Jones, Paula Here, Carmen Cruz, Paulette Parfois, Angela Booth, Liara Wolfe, Dee Nash, Paula F, Michelle McQueen

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[Paulette Parfois]

Hi Dawn,
I know exactly what you mean. I am 74 and it gets harder and harder to hide the ‘sags & bags’. However, thanks to face-lift tape and the right makeup I still can pull it off, albeit it is becoming more the ‘cougar look’ these days! I do have Paulette to thank for getting back in shape. I ride my bike a minimum of ten miles a day and have really cut back on my food intake. Another ten pounds before I can comfortably fit into a size 12, but it’s a goal. I will be following you to see just what remedies or solutions you decide on. Eye bags are a big one for me!
Hugs, Paulette

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Jessica Maddison

[Angela Booth]

Unfortunately we are not all blessed like Carmen. If you cannot afford the surgery and not for HRT then the option is to do what women do best, make the most of what they have and enhance what they have. The expression is ‘Mutton dressed as lamb’ in the harshest sense.

I have no breasts but have a cleavage. I have no feminine hips and butt yet a dress or skirt hangs as if it has. My natural hair is almost non existent yet I have a female cut and can pass as real. My legs are as you describe but hosiery can give a reasonable appearance. My face isn’t overly feminine but the application of make up does wonders. My voice! Well I tone it the best I can. I am my own worse critic and see what is behind but what do others see?

So not quite a silk purse out of a sows ear but the whole image can pass scrutiny and even when dealing on a one to one it is enough to pass. On the whole it is an image of a female and add the mannerisms and confidence it works.

 

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Dawn Judson, Michelle McQueen, Carmen Cruz

[Carmen Cruz]

Yes, clothing choice, and more importantly cut and fit, is extremely important to undo male features. I can’t wear a traditional tube style LBD unfortunately or it will clearly show my v-shaped swimmers build. I also don’t have a waist, and my rib cage is proportionally male. My shoulders are also a bit broad in comparison to the width of my hips. But clothing can bridge that gap for the most part. A cinched belt high waist. A flared skirt instead of body hugging. I absolutely need to have a visual break between upper and lower body or I feel too self conscious.

Another trick, yes, while wearing short skirts make me feel sexy, part of that is showing enough leg (maybe as much as I possibly can), to redirect the public eye and brain to not “question” my proportions. 🙂

See, there’s a specific reason for everything we have to come up with as solutions to femininity!

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Dawn Judson, Angela Booth

[Carmen Cruz]

I’ll start about by saying… we see ourselves much worse than others see us. We’re literally our own worst critic and it’s so true. It becomes much worse as an MTF, and probably at a level we’re not accustomed to. I imagine many CIS women go through the same thoughts and feelings, but cope with it slightly better mentally.

With that said, when we look in our 10x makeup mirrors, we see all the flaws. We focus on what is being reflected back at us as individual parts, vs. as a whole person. When someone sees you, talks with you, looks at your face… they don’t see many of those flaws, their eyes see a person. A sum of all your little parts that only you notice.

I’d venture to say, stand back from the mirror 10 feet and assess yourself. That’s probably how everyone else sees the details you see in yourself. If you don’t believe me, think about all the people you have met in the past, all the attractive people you’ve observed walking by. Did you once think “gosh, she/he has a wrinkle under their eye”… or “hmmm, they’d look good if their arm skin was impossibly smooth.”

I’ll add… I’ve seen some really smoking hot 60 year old women who can easily give any 25 year old a run for their money in sex appeal alone… based on how she dresses, her confidence, her fitness, how she does her makeup and hair, her overall look as a person. Again, not once have I thought… “but, but… her skin doesn’t look like the digitally filtered skin we see in media… so nah, not hot”. LOL.

• This reply was modified 5 months ago by Carmen Cruz.

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Dawn Judson, Angela Booth

[Michelle McQueen]

The best but maybe the hardest thing you can do is accept yourself as you are and work with what you have. I see some older women who take care of themselves and dress sophisticated and they look great. Its all about style and confidence.

Our lifestyle is a never ending art and is all about turning something into something we are not. Its all an illusion… well, for most of us anyway… not you Donna, or anyone who does the whole transition. You say thats not a route you can take so…

Hair – Do the best you can with what you have or get some nice wigs. Its fun changing styles and colors. Maybe you can color your own hair and get a fem cut. As for the thinning… a scarf or fem beanie or doo rag or one of those pink pussy hats… cover up.

Face – Makeup, makeup, makeup. There are tons of products to tighten and cover anything. Start using night time eye cream to reduce those bags. You can always go get a professional makeover.

Chest – Silicone forms in a nice bra. Its great to be able to change breast sizes at will. Keep your chest shaved and if you can shave everything as this will make you feel more feminine.

Waist – Shapewear, Spanx, waist cinchers, corsets, girdles… suck it up buttercup and suffer for fashion like GG’s do. Our bodies will morph into whatever our DNA determines and we can’t stop it… sorry… I know it sucks.

Arms & Legs – Cover up is the quickest and easiest. Long sleeves, nylons, leggings. Also for the legs theres tanning and makeup for legs

You can never regain lost time but you can look ten or so years younger with the right outfits and style. Unfortunately none of us will ever be the image of that beautiful 25 yr old of the past. Youth is wasted on the youth. Use what you have now because in ten years its only going farther south.

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Dawn Judson, Angela Booth

[Anonymous]

I’m much the same. I guess we just have to grow old gracefully. I accept that I’m not going to be a young attractive woman again (I didn’t look too bad 15 years ago) and so I go for the more mature look, on the odd occasion I get a chance.

As far as the waist is concerned, I find a high-top pantie girdle at least smooths it all out, and hip pads and D forms make my waist look more proportional. If that’s not enough, a lace-up waspie is surprisingly comfortable and can take two or three inches off.

Connie

xxx

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Dee Nash, Michelle McQueen, Paula F

[Anonymous]

It’s called growing old darling…..we are all going through it. Without emptying the bank account you just have to accept it and grow old gracefully into the lovely woman that you are. Silver hair can be gorgeous. My Mum had it. Bless her!! And she always looked beautiful.
Lots of love and kisses….Melina…xxxxx

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Dee Nash, Paula F, Michelle McQueen

[Jennifer Andrews]

Anything can be done girl it is just going to take time as for you hair wigs ate great and for your waist try a corset breast plates are the greatest thing ever and they make padding for everything i am older and have been on hormones my boobs are developed and i am lucky enough to have a cute hips and a bubble butt my wife love to dress me up we have become like sisters too and do everything together good luck on your journey into womanhood

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Dee Nash, Paula F, Michelle McQueen

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