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    • #255783
      Aoife
      Lady

      Ic has rightfully come up how many times how unfair it is that women and girls can just throw on anything made for men without any issue (though I know it wasn’t always this way) while the other way it’s frowned upon. I had a bit of a chuckle recently when my wife and mother-in-law bought my daughter some pyjamas with the label “BOYS ONLY.” No thought, no hesitation, just “this would be cute on her.” Pretty ridiculous for a label to be so strict eve facetiously but of course I think of that a bit more than others, right?

    • #255785

      hello Aoife yes i agree 100%   why can woman dress up in mens clothing and nothing is said, but when men wear female clothing we get called names or rejected from family and friends. woman have it all in clothing, sexy, clothing colorful, satin, silk, dressy type, nylons, heels, make up,perfume.  all men get is boring jeans and shirt same color jeans blue or black. society needs to wake up and see x dressers as just human beings and showing their feminine side. some look really feminine and pretty.

    • #255810

      Not much I can add to this.  I have felt this way forever.  My wife often wears my shirts without a second thought.  Not that I would fit in here cloths but I am sure it would be frowned upon if I wore hers.  Not fair, but when is life fair. Oh bother.

      Love

      Melissa

    • #255817

      Society is not gonna accept men wearing a skirt and blouse anytime soon. However, I notice that the younger generation is much more open to men transitioning to woman and vice versa. Woman and men have different body shapes and womans clothing is definately made for female curves.

      I say, if you are able to dress in womans clothing and look good, by all means knock yourself out, as you will probably blend in to your surroundings anyways. If not, I would not suggest you wear a dress to a job interview or important meeting. Personally, I think all people, men and woman should be able to present as they feel inside. Unfortunately, society has not reached that point yet. We can all sit around and cry and complain or we can do something about it. But when there are so many people still in the closet too afraid to get out and express themselves, CDers are not going to change societys opinion of us.

      It takes time and hard work to make change in our Country, let alone the world, but if you want the right to dress feminine and be accepted, start by writing your states congressman. Laws can change, but changing laws does not change people’s opinions. That is done thru education and getting out there and talking to people everyday, en femme.

      If I can do it, a short, very ugly, scar faced person with a bowling ball figure and distinct deep voice even after voice lessons, you can too. There are so many gorgeous girls on CDH, just look at the pictures, you can do so much more than I do.

      Hugs Breanna

    • #255823
      Aoife
      Lady

      At this point, I’m pretty happy to push it all within the realm of my wife’s attraction toward me which hopefully will expand over time. Definitely not at a point where I can afford a lot of new clothes, even as a guy, but I’ve pushed norms in the past and plan to more and more. I don’t have a ton of options in women’s clothes that will fit, but if I see what I like and if it’s within the realm of her acceptance I don’t care which part of the store it’s from. Ntm the prospect of getting a kilt is looking better and better. Not likely to wear it to work unless it’s for a Scotch promotion (actually pretty likely and a former Scotsman I worked with has done it) so it just might not be a worthy expense for a while.

      • #255998
        Stevie65
        Lady

        Just think if many male gender start wearing kilts more and more it will be just natural and then to slip a skirt on will not phaze any one… Just like the women wearing jeans and other male designed clothes

         

    • #255825
      Anonymous

      Wasn’t all that long ago that a woman wearing a pair of pants was down right scandalous! Now, no one bats an eye at that……So, there is hope that it will change for the better for us too!

      • #255872
        Aoife
        Lady

        I feel like a lot of us always want to go all-out every time we dress. Even for me it seemed pointless to put anything on if I’m not even goi g to try to pass, but I’m really beginning to see it differently. I know there have been some men in the past to advocate for wearing skirts in guy mode and I think that is a really good place to start. There are a lot of patterns and materials out there which would make me feel great in a way men’s clothing never could that I think would require a pretty good explanation from my wife on what’s so emasculating about it. It has been noted that there are a lot of health benefits to this anyway. Sometimes I just need to hang down there (something I think all women can relate to when it comes to their chests) and I really don’t want to wear boxers ever. A circle skirt with a dark/simple pattern seems like a pretty good solution to me! I don’t think there could be any objection to that besides « just because. » « Normal » from the waist up and knees down and I don’t see how I would be any less of a man. One day I think we’ll be there, and I have heard from some of our sisters here it has been seen. That’s how it all started for women, isn’t it?

        • #255997
          Stevie65
          Lady

          You can order kilts from on line and they do have the coloured kilts as well. Start wear kilts more and more and it will be very easy for the male gender to slip into a skirt Just like women wear jeans..

        • #256015
          Ashley
          Lady

          I’m going down the same path regarding passing, Of course the idea of being able to go out and actually make people think I’m a girl is still really exciting, and I’d love to try it, but I also know it would take tons of effort. What if I just want to wear some women’s item without going to all the effort with makeup and stuff? The idea of spending a whole day in high heels is also really exciting!

          On a kind-of related note… did you ladies know high heels were actually a men’s item from their origins in antiquity up through the early modern era at least? (look up some full-height portraits of royals and nobles from the 16th-18th centuries and look at their shoes if you don’t believe me… they do say what’s old is new again, don’t they?)

    • #255831

      Thanks Aoife

      🤣🤣🤣BOYS ONLY🤣🤣🤣

      Sounds like signs you would see at old men’s clubs or believe it or not some golf clubs.

      On the other side of the coin the  establishment my daughter is working part time recently had a Ladies Night. Under the billboard in small writing it said ‘any gender welcome’. A small sign (well actually quite big, both physically and metaphorically🤣) of progress.

      love

      B

    • #255888

      No you are not alone Aoife. I feel the same way.

    • #255913
      Anonymous

      In the PC age, I’m surprised any vendor would include such a “sexist” label. Or maybe it’s an ad gimmick, like “boy-cut” panties or “boyfriend” jeans. I wish we could turn the tables.

      • #255926
        Aoife
        Lady

        I think it’s just their specialty which is fair, just kinda funny to me as it underlines that pretty much all the boy’s stuff is « gender neutral » and probably about half of what my daughter wears comes from over there. If we ever have a son I doubt we will dress him in any « girls » clothes… Until he goes for them himself, in which case I’ll be happy to give him a hand! Glad it will at least be around if that’s the case.

    • #256010

      Kate Hepburn blazed a crossdressing trail for the women of today. Born in 1907, she’s been the topic of many Hollywood stories about her”masculine” attitude and her “tomboy” attire. This article outlines quite a few of those stories, including the time that someone at work thought she should wear a skirt…

      While working for RKO, Hepburn wore jeans to the studio. In an effort to persuade her to wear a skirt, someone confiscated the jeans from her dressing room, while she was on set. Her response to this violation of privacy? She came back to set wearing just her underwear and refused to cover up until her jeans were returned.

      Now if George Clooney insisted on wearing a dress on the set, how liberated we and fiture xdressers would be! Here’s the article.

    • #256499
      Molly
      Duchess

      Bobbi;

      A harsh light on a truth here. Quite frankly I agree with the thought expressed, but tempered in my own response, but that doesn’t mean I disagree one bit with the harshness of the truth. Some of us are lucky to live in places where it’s not so harsh, but I do remember living in places where life was cheap and this is so true.

      Thanks

      -Molly

    • #256508
      Aoife
      Lady

      One of the big takeaways I have in this whole topic is that as much as we’re used to compromise, I think we would make a lot more progress compromising differently. When it comes to our dressing or other feminine appearances it may be best to push them as far as our limits will allow as our « regular » selves rather than splitting time. Maybe this is better described by taking smaller risks more often rather than saving our courage for bigger risks. Perhaps instead of feeling the need to look as perfectly feminine as we dream we can do less while being more, if that makes any sense. I have seen a number of men doing this, and while they’re usually « gay, » I don’t think that should make a difference, especially if the mere act of wearing a « forbidden » article of clothing is on the most basic level the same.

    • #256509
      Molly
      Duchess

      Bobbi;

      Thought I was leaving a reply to this message.. Ended up at the end of the lists. Sorry for the confusion since it was a reply to this message.

      -Molly

    • #256573

      I MUST say this to the community!!! You people beat this topic into the ground. I hear so many people complaining, “I, we cannot wear feminine clothing but woman can wear male clothing. Who the heck is stopping you!!? Yourself!!! You are the only one saying you cannot wear an article or articles of feminine clothing!! If ANYONE is telling you you can’t, they are outta line because it’s none of their business what you wear!! We live in a time and age where society is only beginning to become “enlightened”, and society is not ready to see a man in a dress. But if you want to wear one in public, that’s your business, just be prepared to stick up for yourself if necessary!!
      I go out of my house EVERYDAY wearing panties, Ladie’s Lee Skinny Jeans or Leggins, Ladie’s Socks and Top, High Heals, womans tennis shoes or sketchers, my nails are always professionally done and long, my hair is very long and cut feminine, I have 4 piercing in one ear and 5 in the other, I wear eye liner, mascara, highlighter, my brows are professionally done and I still shave because I have not completed electrolysis yet. And I still look like a man in drag, but I am gonna do what makes me happy and nobody, not my wife, not my Mother or my sister is going to stop me!! And I have lost my family relationships because I decided to begin transitioning!!! STOP whinning and get out there and start living your life the way YOU want to and STOP living for other people. That is the right thing to do!!!

    • #256768
      Ashley
      Lady

      I’ve been thinking some more about this. I think this double standard comes from the views our society still sticks to about men and women, and it won’t go away until we reach a position of much better gender equality.

      Our society continues to associate a lot of positive character traits with masculinity, like strength, toughness, intelligence, and so on.

      More and more, its being accepted and encouraged for women to take on those traits to get ahead in life. So of course they might want to dress more like men in the process.

      But… our society also continues to associate negative things with femininity, like weakness and softness.

      So why would men want to seem like they’re rejecting the natural advantages they have as men and associate themselves with feminine traits by dressing in a feminine way?

      Basically… we are still living in a society where men “wear the pants” and women are being encouraged more and more to do so as well.

      But…!!! I think I can end my little ramble on a positive note. All this talk of “Emotional Intelligence” and similar things lately gives me hope that positive character traits are starting to lose their gender associations, that we may be heading towards a point where being a good leader or simply a good person will no longer necessarily mean having mostly “male qualities” and that qualities formerly associated with women are beginning to be celebrated and encouraged more in both men and women.

      (of course the way to achieve that is NOT to go around telling men they need to be more like women… that will only backfire and lead to more “dudebros”)

      That, plus it seems like there are more and more celebrities identifying as gender fluid or something similar these days, and for the younger generations, things like guys having piercings and wearing makeup are becoming more acceptable too.

    • #257342

      Have you ever stopped and tried to realise that most of the labels we can imagine are stupid and nonsense?

      And, in many cases, those labels act on our minds to jeopardise us and make us feel ashamed about something that didn’t even happened?

      When we realise that we can wear whatever makes us feel good and all that “boys only” or “girls only” thing (not only for clothing) is bullshit, the freedom feeling that comes suddenly is amazing!

      xoxo

    • #259715

      well spoken Bren you could not have put better

    • #255960
      Anonymous

      Perhaps, Bobbi. Fashions do change, and some benefit us…if they take hold. I remember when long hair became an “in” thing for men, and the short lifespan of the “manbag”.
      Earrings and ornamental jewelry have had more acceptance, but they don’t alter your fundamental appearance. (I think) people want to ID you at a glance, guy or girl, and object to anything which blurs the lines. Don’t know WHY it matters so much, but that seems to be the case, and perhaps that is what needs to change.

    • #256149

      Bobbi,

      I realize that there is no law, at least in my state, telling my I cannot dress in feminine attire. However, if I get pulled over and my appearance differs from that on my drivers license, I can have a problem. I agree that change begins at home, but if someone does not wish to accept or be educated, than there is nothing you can do to change the way they think. You and I have the right to accept CDing, the people who are opposed have the right to think the way they do. My family chooses to have nothing to do with me because I am openly transgender and I will not dress as a man in their presence. My family will not listen to any facts, nothing except negative propoganda that re-enforces their rotten attitude. There are lots of people in the world you HATE us, yet don’t really understand why.

      We, like Pride, need to publically have an annual march/demonstration where we can introduce ourselves to society, showing them that we are not the terrible monsters they think we are. Also, society needs to see us out there!! They need to see CDers and Trans people out and about in stores, restaurants, gas stations, the dentist office. The more they see us, the quicker they will get used to us and eventually, like everything else, they will tire of talking about us.

      Yes, getting acceptance from your family is great! But it is NOT mandatory for you, or anyone, to get respect and acceptance from the public. You are very wrong with that statement!! I go to work, I go to the store, I go out to eat, I do everything 24/7, 365 and I have earned a lot of acceptance, respect and more from the majority of the people I meet. Yes, there is a few idiots that stare and whisper among themselves but I don’t care, I am gonna be me.

      And, I know that there are a lot of in the closet girls who are scared to death to do as I do. They must evolve and progress in their own time, however I would Love to hear from those who have shed the chains of fear and are expressing their true selves.

    • #256280

      OK, If you can word it better as you stated, be my guest!!!

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