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I underdress rather than go full enfemme.
A while ago now. I was out at the shops, in drab at least on the outside.
Heard this guy remark, quite loudly; “That guy is wearing a bra!”.
Other than him. no-one else seemed to care, and just went about their business as if “So what”.
Note to self. Be a bit more careful about what you wear as outerwear when underdressing.
2nd point was noting most other people didn’t care, but there will sometimes be ‘that person’ that wants to give you a hard time.
Hi Candy. I read your post about girls like us wearing bras. I agree with you that there’s always going to be someone who doesn’t like us and has to say something about what we are wearing. I ignore people like that. It shows that they are either ignorant or jealous either way ignoring them is the best way to deal with people like that. I think that a bra strap in view is very sexy. I sometimes wear a blouse that is sleeveless and occasionally my bra strap is visible. I just go about my business and really don’t care who sees it I’m glad that you brought it up because it’s something that happens to girls who wear clothing that allows for a bra strap to be seen
Wow… good question…
Yes, I care if my bra is showing as would every woman out there. it is part of your UNDERWEAR if that means anything and should be kept as unobstrusive as possible. Let the recipient of your favours be the Only one to view the holy of holys!
The rest is just bad dressing… shame on you!!!!<Shiver> Polly xxx
ps: what would shut him up is for you to have answered him “yes, I am! Why do you ask?”. Fools like him would just run!
… and it probably won’t be the last time 😉
Life happens.
One of the things I always worried about when out dressed was being clocked and having a problem. My personal interactions were usually with women and they were positive. In one of my early outings, I was in my little hot pants, shiny pantyhose and platform wedge heels. I was going into a store to buy some pantyhose. As I was walking in I heard some guys laughing. I ignore them and went in the store.
Still I was concerned they might have been laughing at me. I was looking around to see if maybe they would come in the store after me. I was thinking of buying some guy shorts and shoes, taking my pantyhose off and putting them on. I didn’t see anyone clearly pursuing me or looking for me. I began to think I’m just being paranoid.
After awhile I left the store. As I walked past the guys outside I heard laughing again and insulting remarks. I was dressed kind of androgynous as I often was but this was the first time I really recall getting clocked or at least someone being so vocal about it.
I bet he was watching and lusting after me as I approached. When I got close, he realized I was not what he thought I was and was wresting with his own confused feeling. His friends were probably amused at how much he wanted someone until he discovered that someone was not what she appeared to be from a distance.
Candy,
Well of course I care, the whole reason for different colours and styles is NOT to show it through your outer wear. The funny moment comes if you are in a club under UV light when the bra sometimes “glows” purple under your blouse!
Of course even GGs have the lines that show through a blouse, that should in my view be the most you show though. Maybe use a t-shirt bra, they are designed to show almost nothing even under a t-shirt.
Enjoy!
S
I don’t know if it’s just me, but these issue frequently come up when I dress androgynously. Tank tops or sleeveless shirts often allow bra straps to be seen. I usually choose an ensemble that lets me rearrange to expose or conceal with little difficulty. I’ve mentioned before that some young women seem to enjoy seeing the hint of a strap. Also, years ago, I read that many women choose panties that can be observed by panty line or colors through exterior clothing. I really enjoy wearing low-rise or bikini panties that fit snuggly (creating definite panty lines) and/or show through white or light colored skinny jeans because of bold colors or patterns. They even show with hip hugging flared jeans if they fit correctly. I’ve never had anyone comment, but I know they’re visible and it gives me a kick!
FAM
Hi Candy, it depends where I am.
If I’m out and about in my community, I’m usually dressed androgynously and I’m careful that my bra/panties don’t show. As I had a very high level political job prior to retiring, many, many people recognize me and I don’t necessarily know them. A few friends have told me that when they first see me at a distance, they think I’m female but as I get closer they figure out that it is me. But I do pass when it comes to most of the people who don’t know me. On the other hand, when I’m travelling out of town, I wear female clothing and then I don’t worry if my bra/panties are visible. And if I run into someone I know while I am far out of town (which has happened), so be it. It wouldn’t be the end of the world. thanks for posting the topic Candy, stay safe, stay healthy, All the Best, Hugs, Krista.
I have a black lacy blouse that is bearly see thru and have worn it with a black bra I have worn it at special events and to my support group which got compliments from other girls in the group. Also go out a lot in summer with sleeveless blouses and tank tops showing straps which is very common look around beach towns
I did just yesterday..
In the winter I go to a group wine appreciation group lunch with a session on the venue’s billard table beforehand. So I love the feel of the bra straps and band on “my bod” as I lean over the table to take a shot.
So being a warmish day yesterday, I only had a polo shirt on over my bra and cami. Just prior to the lunch I went to the “gents” and checked the mirror.. Yep. Bra straps showing through the shirt.. Too chicken to leave the bra on after that.. So off it came and into my back pack.
Caty
I had an older lady ask me once if I was wearing a bra while picking up some groceries. Yes I did have a camisole on but not a bra under my t shirt so I just told her straight up. “no just a cami”. She walked away with a weird look on her face. And maybe if a guy did notice it might be because he does it himself at times as he did notice which like you said most people aren’t that observant! I’m at the point now that I don’t really care if it shows or not. I just being me.
AshleyUnder dressing like this is how my family found out about my CD. I had a large part of the afternoon spent completely dressed ( no make up). When I heard my X come into the house with with our grand daughter. I quickly took of my dress and shoes and put on my jeans and drab shirt, then sat in my recliner to watch TV. She came into the room to tell me something and noticed the bra I was wearing, then the shoes I had left sitting next to me. After trying to push these things off on others i admitted everything. The first thing she did was to tell our 3 grown kids and a few weeks later threatened to tell my brothers and my mother. I have since tried to talk with my kids( no one want to talk with me about it). I also stated telling my brothers – so far 3 of 4. I now almost thank her for all of these threats, it has been a reel releaf to let these people know of Sandy. I am happier now with the results so far.
Sandy
So… For work zoom calls, I have been experimenting with what I wear for calls. Definitely wearing heels and leggings, yoga pants, or skinny jeans. Under my drab shirt – This is where crazy town kicks in, normally it is a sports bra with pads. Or more than likely, a bra and breast forms. Last week tho, I didn’t realize that my new pink cami with criss cross front spaghetti straps were very much visible… I have been getting some interesting texts since then!
Years ago I used to care, I would look in the mirror 4 or 5 times, bend over, try different lights etc all to make sure it did not show. Now as of about 3-4 years ago, I stopped caring. My wife asked me about one day and I said I just don’t care anymore, it is who I am. I never want to embarrass her but for me, whatever. So I try and walk the fine line of not being over showing in terms of cup size, lift or volume, but I do have some bras that wear daily, tip toe on the other side.
If I was in drab, I might care more. But if en femme, then I have no cares at all about it. Unless I’m wearing something strap less, if course.
I hate that. I was out in a store one day and I was bending down looking at something, my panties were showing and I had some guy come up and make a comment about my panties showing. Like WTF who cares what under clothes one wears. So annoying!!
I have frequently worn a dark colored bra (Navy Blue) with a lighter colored shirt. If you look, it has definitely been noticeable. I have often worn it while flying on a commercial flight, and therefore quite a few people in close proximity. Nobody has ever said a word. The closest I ever go to a comment was one time as I was boarding the plane, the line stopped right as I turned the corner into the center aisle. I was standing directly in front of the flight attendant who HAD to have noticed. As we de-planed at the destination, she said goodbye, smiled a bit and winked at me. She knew.
Hi Candy Can,
1st I love your name.
2nd I found through life there are AH. Just ignore them just like you did.
3rd I underdress all the time and I continue to check myself and ensure things are in the proper place. There is an occasional bra strap that shows but I try to fix it immediately.
Thank you for this post. Hugs Katey
Hi Candy there is always that one person who has and wants to have a problem with something or other they can’t help them selves it’s who they are and nothing you do will placate them,
Just do what you like doing and ignore them that’s what i do x
Hugs Rozalyne x
I usually don’t underdress that often, except for panties that is. I haven’t worn guy undies for nearly a year and a half now. Even to doctors’s appts, and no one has said anything.
Sometimes I do wear a bra under my guy shirt and worry about it being noticed. When I wear one it is usually quite a flat bralet which is invisible under my shirt, and it still being winter I have a coat or jacket on as well. At times I’ve worn a bra with a bit of padding in it, which gives me something like “A’s”. Once when wearing that one time I stopped at Starbucks for a snack and coffee and sat with my little titties bumps definitely showing. I was a bit paranoid, but no one paid me a second glance at all. It was quite busy at the time, so more people, but then that makes everyone just intent on there own business I think.
Amy
Hi Candy,
There was a time when I would have been mortified to be caught like that; but gynecomastia is not unusual any more, and doctors are even prescribing bras for male patients. So I have boobs; so what? On a personal level, a bra feels right and natural for me, so why should I care what others think…except for my wife’s friends and our kids, who aren’t allowed to meet Bettylou.
ADDENDUM: There was a commentary on TV a few months ago that “boob jobs” (reduction) were now the fourth most-common surgical procedures for men. I wish I could make mine bigger.
Hugs,
BettylouGood morning ladies
This happened to me twice once I got up early in the morning I have my bra on and my panties and I forgot to get coffee. So I said what the heck nobody in the store so I put on a nice black T-shirt they had riding on the front and back and I went to the store hoping nobody would be there well after I got in there I got crowded and I was standing in line and some man behind me was reading on the back of my t-shirt and he came up to me and says can I see what’s on the front well like a nice lady I put my head up my chest out he looked at it kind of smiled and said word and got back behind me.
The second time it was another convenience store trip I just threw on a bagging White summer shirt and went into the store nobody said anything but I was getting a lot of stairs and I said I wonder if they know then I came home looked in the mirror and was very obvious I don’t know white Lacy bra on underneath and with the lights on you can see the whole thing through the shirt but nothing really happened.I don’t really underdress going out. For me it’s more of an all or nothing thing. When I’m dressed, if my bra strap shows or someone can see my bra through a blouse or sweater, I really don’t care. There probably isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t see visual evidence of a woman wearing a bra.
When I underdress I go with a satin slip rather than bra as I prefer the feel and it does have less of a chance of being spotted. When fully dressed by view is it’s fine to show a bra strap if you know you’re showing, as that can be a good look when properly done. As for accidental slips, as others have said, it happens to cis girls all the time so not a big deal!
As an early teen it was a thrill for me when I spotted a woman’s bra. When I started underdressing I tried very hard to make sure it was covered, but I’m sure it was spotted at some point. Now that I am living full time as a woman I don’t like my straps showing because I think it looks messy and not put together. Although a little experience when I felt the most seen in a good way was one time when I was putting on makeup in the ladies room and another woman pointed out to me that my bra strap was showing. I thanked her and that was it. But it felt so right.
Hi,
Yes, I often go out partially dressed – exercise tights & tops with a sports bra and thong underneath – more than once I’ve gotten a “knowing look”…. another time I went for a haircut – drab but underdressed including a bra….forgot the part where stylist shaves the back of neck and pulls back collar…when she pulled the collar back she even slid the bra strap down…I suspect she did that to let me know in no uncertain terms what she had discovered!!
Kimberly Anne
I never have tried to hide my bra. The current fashion among young women is to intentionally display straps of contrasting color. It makes my day when wearing a thin top and a woman says something like: “Your bra is so pretty, I wish more men were bold enough to embrace their true selves.”
I carry a natural 42C rack, and at 75 am still perky enought that a bra is not a necessity.
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