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I have been thinking on this subject a lot lately, and after reading a post from the lovely Trisha, I decided to post about it.
I find my brain actually switches, from male to female, as I dress fully, or even check in here.
As I have posted before, I have a quite masculine persona at work, though I am always wearing my bra and stockings/garter, but the moment I undress the man, I find my mind switches over to female.
My actions, my mannerisms,(womanerisms? lol) change. I think like a woman!! my emotions are more apparent in my speech and writing, I read the various postings and interpret them as a girl, I really do have this auto switch thing going on.
As I stated, I have been thinking on this a lot lately, and I’m excited, but trepidatious, on where it is leading me? but still forging ahead.
Love and Hugs, Truly Regine👩💕
P.S, My wife just loves the “switch”,lol
I can relate, Regine! When I’m here, I’m totally Tara in my brain, even if I’m not dressed in real life. It’s MUCH more fulfilling when completely dressed though. Mind, Body and Spirit at that point. Even if I just put on my bra and forms, the transformation is SO much more complete!
*kisses* tara 🙂
Regine,
I came to CDH in a perfunctory way today, as I have the last few, just to check messages. Then I saw one of my fave friends here ( 😀) posted this thread so I had to read.
SO insightful and probably more true than most realize. Right now, if you put a full beautiful feminine outfit in front of me to wear, I wouldn’t put it on. I’m just in guy mode right now. Not even tempted. It’s why I refer to myself as “dual-natured” rather than “transgender.” (Of course, these terms like TG and cross dresser seem very fluid and subjectively defined by the eye of the beholder anyway, so I’m not sure they have any fixed meaning).
It’s not so much a bipolar or a split personality issue; it’s just having a fuller realization and understanding of both my masculine and feminine natures. I like BOTH of them. What I don’t like is feeling one way but not being able to express it outwardly. I think that’s where the frustration comes in the issue of clothing.
And isn’t the clothing an utterly fascinating thing? “Clothes make the man.” We behave differently even within the full (albeit limited) panoply of male clothing. I behave differently wearing a suit and tie than I do sweats and t shirts. Differently when wearing flannel and jeans than a tuxedo. Differently wearing a button down shirt and khakis than a polo shirt and shorts.
More to the extreme, See any red blooded, masculine, non CDing man put even one feminine article of clothing on and watch him immediately take on some feminine mannerism and characteristic — probably in a grossly exaggerated way lest someone suspect it comes naturally to him! 😂 But the clothes, in a way, give him “permission” to act or talk with some feminine characteristic that he otherwise never displays. (And also watch the smile that comes to his face as he enjoys this temporary “freedom”). Similarly, See any red blooded, feminine, non CDing woman put on a sports jersey and some jeans and watch her try to fit in as one of the guys. And watch her enjoy being temporarily free of the boundaries of femininity (which, candidly, women get to naturally experience far more than men anyway in clothing, actions, behavior, etc).
I suspect some CDing men like me, who have a heightened awareness of the inner “other” (feminine) side (which, btw, I think we all have characteristics of both, but some have a greater connection to those things — hence, our presence here! Lol) can mistake our connection to our femme selves as compelling a need to transition. This is especially true when we are in the throes of wanting to express that femme side, and, if we get to do it a lot, we tend to fully dive in to make up for lost time. This is why we should never be flippant about the issue of transitioning. I think this desire can tempt people to think that way who probably otherwise shouldn’t be considering it. For some, the femme is so strong they can’t live with themselves and I think need to do it if they can. But I know for me, when I’m in full on Steph mode, I often start dreaming of being Steph all the time with all the attendant “parts,” and it can be very intoxicating.
Then I get to times like this where my masculine side is in the fore, and I can barely even understand why people would ever want to do that. That’s been my experience, and I suspect I’m not alone…
God bless,
Steph
Regi.
One of the main reasons I Iove cdh…
whether it’s loving, living, laughing or crying…. it’s just us girls, and it’s always been just us girls.
I for one, have never thought of cdh as anything else….
girls only thank you !!!!
Grace xx
Do I have a switch. When I dress, the switch flips to female. When I am not dressed, it does not flip to male. It doesn’t even go in the middle. It does move a little towards the middle, but it is still on the female side. I am not sure the male side ever worked. Probably a blown fuse on that side.
Eva
Eva.
If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it!!!…❤️
I don’t think that’s true of me. I feel far more of a fluid boundary between sides, if there are sides. There are days when I’ll be in make mode more or less, but walk like Bridgette, and notice I’ve been doing it without thinking. There are days when I’m dressed in a very androgynous fashion, and my behavior is somewhere in between. Sometimes I’m dressed fully as Bridgette, and have difficulty fully connecting on that side, and miss marks i normally hit, as it were. It’s hard to describe intelligently.
Of course I’m in a bit of a mood to start with, and that affects being able to properly express feelings at times.
Bridgette
Hi Regine good question my brain is always in female mode, and I love it I feel more relaxed about life. Its helped me being relaxed to gain more friends and acqaintancies.
Love Sarah xx
I have heard many people on here and other places talk about such a switch and having a male and female persona. Over the past 2 years I have given a lot of thought to the question of do I have this duality? and I have assumed that I should. However, as I come to know myself better I have concluded that I only have the one persona, nothing flips when I dress, I don’t suddenly become girly, nothing really changes.
What I have noticed is that I have a lot of feminine traits that I have spent a lifetime suppressing. I notice them now and have to make an effort to allow them out while resisting the drive to suppress them.
I feel as if I am simultaneously both male and female. How I present depends on how I feel and my circumstances.
🎀 I’ve thought a lot about this.. even talked with a friend ( a gg) who is a counselor 🦋🌺.. for me, it seems to be what she calls fragmentation..,fragmentation is similar to multiple personalities, but not the clinical type that we see in tv shows and movies..
💕🧚♀️ it’s different in that there is an awareness of the other “ side” or the other part of a person and the ability to be able to bring one out over the other and vise versa.. 👗🧚♀️ At ones choosing and you remember it ( clinical type does not even know or aware that they were different for a period of time)
I had a somewhat traumatic event I’ve mentioned before , when my dad found me wearing a hair bow around age 10 or so.. he yanked it out taking hair with it… and also verbally attacked me..😢
that’s when the fragmentation began.. in my personality… I learned quickly and sadly at that moment that I felt I had to hide my inner girl and bring the guy mode out more.. or suffer more abuse…
🦋 And please note that my friend is adamant that this is not a disorder!! But a coping mechanism… It’s just me, always has been always will be… there’s no medical issue, no brain malfunction, it’s just that I felt I had to hide , for so long.. due to what happened.. so now , I feel I can be me, out in the open.. 🌼💖🎀 the real part of me that is always there like a best friend..🎀🎀🎀
Ohh, Effie…
I felt a sudden shaft of sadness rip through me when I read about the abuse! While I never suffered the same I still have felt a necessity to apologise for my male gender nearly all my life!
Sorry… Polly 💋💋💋
I appreciate your words Polly, 🧚🏼🍀 and it’s ok, I’ve dealt with that and moved on.. and that’s why I will always have a hair bow in 😃🎀🎀💖
Wow… this is where it gets tricky…
I cannot tell if I have a female mind, a male mind, a combination of both… I don’t know how a woman might think of things. I only know how ‘I’ think. My wife tells me as soon as the panties and bra go on all my mannerisms change gender. I don’t know, can’t tell if that then becomes a female mind thing.
There have been traditions that have slanted how woman have been ‘trained’ how to think… just as men have been trained to be patriarchal and possessive. Excess testosterone influences men towards violence but the same can be said of women so who can say what a female/male mind is like?
Though, I have heard that MTF men have experienced some change after going on HRT.
As an aside… all of my female friends have described me as an alpha male but I have never experienced what I thought an alpha male might have.
A very interesting topic sure to make us sisters think!The Thinker 🤔💭🏳️🌈🏳️⚧️… Polly
As I have assumed my feminine self for so many years now, I feel that the distinction has been blurred quite signicantly.
The current and previous occupations I have held are closely related and require Grumpy to be more visible, but my ‘feminstincts’ are never shut off totally. As intimidating as ‘he’ needs to be sometimes, there is very seldom a tsunami of machismo to get the point across to an individual that their behavior needs to be adjusted somewhat. While my feminine way of observing now gives me the compassion I need to keep that flood of emotional reaction in check unless sorely needed.
Sometimes it can be hard to keep a feminine outlook, but I experience much less of ‘him’ as time goes by. For that, I am truly grateful.
PaulaF
Hi honey, as I write this I’m wearing Chris’s house coat and glasses,post a phone call with my GG Bf and feel the most Chris I have felt in a long time. The clothes wearing are some of the few male items I have left. I know as soon as I put my under ware on in a few minutes Trish will come bursting though. Honestly Chris only comes out these days when I need him, the rest of the time Trish takes the reins. When I’m Trish I’m the same as you I think, act and move differently automatically. I very much agree with Effie. Currently my default setting is changing and soon I’m sure Chris will step back completely
Love someone transitioning between Chris and Trish.
Ps she is currently shouting at me that I need to step back she needs to get ready for work.
Hi Regi as you say the he he switch well mine stays in femm mode 99% of the time even when having to go to work in male mode im still in a female mind set allways thinking about Stephanie .. I cant take the chance to underdress at work if found out it would not be a good senerio for me but i keep it to my self and with the wife so accepting its like when i get home i change to Stephanies clothing in a short time after home so really i think my switch is behind one of my boobs and cant get to it and thats ok i like being Stephanie hugs girlfriend 💕💋💋
I think like so many other things it is different between us all.
Some people do CD by putting on panties and that’s all they do while others go all in with dress, makeup, wig and so on.
I did ask this question some time ago and from the answers then I came to guess that the same goes for the personality change. For me I don’t change at all (confirmed by my wife who like it that way) but then I may not have the traditionally casted masculine personality to start with. I’m technical (computers, electronics and more) and strong (can carry around 40kg computers without that much of an effort) but I am not the bodybuilder who have a beer at the sports bar or get angry enough to break some walls or some other things I think are considered mostly reserved for the masculine people.Another thing is that while I do act different in different situations it’s not that much different (I would never pass acting school) so when I put on a dress I don’t change my manners or my mind, I behave more or less the same.
Now if my manners is male or female I dunno, I would like to think that I’m somewhere in between with a little of both.
/kt
The first time I properly went out (and every time since), I’ve been conscious of this “switch”.
It’s like finding the key that unlocks a not insignificant part of you – and for a long time I considered the duality, and enjoyed it.
I realise that it’s just me – all me – and the clothing is a large part of self expression.
If I wear a dinner suit (tuxedo), I behave differently to when I am wearing a work suit, smart casual or jeans and t-shirt. The clothes make others respond differently too.
The difference between a sharp, expensive suit and a cheap suit is amazing! People treat you like you’re something special when your clothes are special, and you feel it. It reciprocates in your spirit.
It’s different means of expressing different sides of the personality – we all have them, from the obvious, mean and moody to sunshine and smiles, and what we wear affects that.
Yes, moods are different to personally traits, but the way we are dressed can significantly alter those moods – even change them – to bring out different traits.
It’s all part of being one individual – as Shakespeare wrote in the famous speech from “As You Like It” (All the world’s a stage…)
“…one man in his time plays many parts”
It could all be unified and homogenised, but I think that would be boring.
Love Laura
Your objection is noted for the record.
As I said, those have been my observations and experiences. I could sit here and type them all out but I have neither the time nor the inclination. We all have our subjective takes on things. You have yours. And so the earth goes around.
Very interesting, Steph, and you pose something more for me to ruminate upon, lol
I read my post to my wife, and asked her opinion, per your question.
She agrees, I do tend to merge over, and perhaps blend would be a better explanation.
She does love both sides of me, and prefers the more gentle soul of Regi, however, when she needs “him”, she is very glad I can put him forward
Hugs, Regi👩💕
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