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I was single, in the military still (approx 2008), stationed in Wichita, Kansas. I had really been developing my woman feelings more and more and had started sessions with my Therapist (civilian-off base of course!)
My first time visiting with my therapist I was shaking in my boots, dressed as a guy. We had a nice discussion and agreed that starting the next session and from then on I would present as my true self…..Denise. After a few months of seeing my therapist I realized staying in the military was not at that time an option, so I started slowly and quietly making my departure plans for December of that year.
I had been living the secret double life that so many of you can relate too. I had the image/reputation of the uber macho man, all beefed up, a retired civilian cop by now and completing my military reserve obligation on active duty orders. I was the Flight Sergeant of a Security Forces Flight in the USAF (think platoon sgt in the Army) and in addition to a deployment or three I was also the trainer for retraining the troopies who had returned from combat duties to more stateside police duties, so I was pretty well know in our Squadron. Whenever I attended a Squadron or Flight function socially, I was always alone. When asked why I never brought a date I always replied that “my girl” wasn’t into the military and that I keep my professional and private life strictly separate…..which generally was accepted as a good answer. If they only knew the truth behind that statement, lol.
One morning I’m sitting in my office working on the next days duty roster, I could hear a few of my guys in the hall way talking. I heard my name and my ears quickly perked up…..”I think Sgt Johnson has a girlfriend” I hear one to say to the other….”oh yea, why do you say that, I’ve never seen him with anyone”. ~Holy Crap~ I’m thinking WTH are these two talking about!? I almost yell for them to get in my office and ask why are they not out on Patrol when I hear the other reply….”Yea, the other day I saw some hot blonde driving his truck downtown!” “no shit, I wonder why he never brings her to any of our events?”…….by now, my face is beat red, I’m both scared, nervous and pissed at myself for almost being caught! “DUDE, SHE WAS HOT!” the other replies, “Maybe that’s why he never brings her, afraid one of us will steal her away, lol”. They then said they had better get out on Patrol before I came out of my office and saw them there. ~WHEW~, I was still red from being embarrassed, pissed at myself for almost being caught, but I had this awesome feeling inside…..I had been seen by my troopies and not even recognized….plus thought to be HOT! The rest of the day I was both floating on air and waiting for the tour to end so I could get home and get dressed again!
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