Buying clothing

[Jess]

Not sure how to ask or where to since new, but really got overly excited when I found a cross dressing site and was about to buy some stuff. But fear of my wife getting extremely angry at me trying new things for myself took over and I backed out. Tried to get her to understand and I’ll just do it when she isn’t around to make her more comfortable, but she took it as a negative comment of being in spite. I’ve been working from home for last few years but work is going to most likely tell me to come back due to performance. Now I cant really wear too much at work, but it would allow me to do more since not going to be just at the home all the time like a bra or panties more. But should I buy these behind her back? I already feel guilty enough coming on here and I really want to buy things, but I want to faithful to her trust.

[Nancy Gamms]

I would suggest not doing anything behind her back but that is easier said than done and not what I did at all.

[Wendy Swift]

This is from my own personal experience, I used to buy stuff behind my wife’s back.   Trust me, women will know I think they have a 6th sense about this stuff.

One day she tore a strip off me telling me that she knew I was buying stuff behind her back and was she ever angry.  It wasn’t the dressing part she was displeased about, it was the fact that I bought stuff and tried to hide it, that was the part that she was mad about.

 

[Julia Reynolds]

I agree, I would not risk my relationship with my SO by being deceitful in any way.  I would also stay away from borrowing any of her clothing without permission.  If you never lie to your SO, she never has a reason to doubt you.  If you lie to her once, she ALWAYS has reason to doubt you.  XO- Julia

[Lorraine Lowry]

Absolutely agree 100% With Julia !

[Jess]

I just so unsure of what to do then. I want to explore this new experience. It makes me feels really sensual and attractive, and I know why she doesn’t want me to do it. As she’s said and others in similar situations, she married a man and wants to be married to a man. It’s like a craving that I can’t fulfill and it’s driving me crazy. She is beyond hating it so I don’t even dare mention anything anymore.

[Leah]

I see no issues in buying thing for yourself, As long as you do not break the bank. Does your wife ask you every time she buys clothes?  No reason to not by a few things that you enjoy.  Amazon is a great place to get things of good quality at a good price.  Plus easy to return of the size is not correct.

[Jess]

I am the only income in the house and the one who does all the shopping these days. She stays home to watch our daughter and does tend to do a bit of window shopping for clothes, but we always have to plan for the clothing buying since it’s expensive at times.

[Fiona-Ann Moss]

Hi Jessica, yes the age old problem of desire vs Trust. As both parties wish for different outcomes I.E. you want to dress and your wife doesnt want you to, I can see the only possible answer is a compromise. Really, that is what its like for most on here, give a little, take a little.

Maybe you could underdress and wear panties and/or a bra under your work wear, this is what i do. I feel like i have taken some of my true self to work, even if i dont wear makeup. It makes you feel happier inside.

I think in the interim, you have to look at it from her angle.Could you imagine being in her shoes and her Husband explaining to his Wife that he likes wearing Ladies clothing? I think its fair to say most would be shocked or even angry. This is of course a first emotion and without time to sit down and think it through. The issues come when Wives stick to their guns and wont budge. Not everyone is like this however and many will warm to the idea or even start getting involved (yes even this does happen).

I do think you need to sit down and talk to her and put her mind at ease that its not going to be a threat to her and she will still be able to enjoy the Man she married in her eyes.

I know my reply may sound a bit blunt but i do believe in being honest and saying things as i see them.

With Love, Fiona-Ann Moss xx

[J J]

You obviously told her you like to wear such things, so she is aware. If she doesn’t like it, that is her choice, but you can wear what you like with concerns for her feelings. It is the classic don’t ask/don’t tell gambit. So, yes buy yourself a few nice things and explore this part of you, just don’t be in her face about it, and try to continue some dialog about things.

[Jamie Kane]

My wife and I love shopping Khol’s clearance sales. We have fun stuff for each other and it’s easy to get her to agree when it’s a $70 dress with discounts $9. Like said today if it doesn’t fit we can just donate it.

[Dani Smith]

Jessica,

Let me tell you how I have addressed the issue.  I have purchased several pairs of panties which I wear on a daily basis to work.  When I wear a bra, it is a triangle bra without any lift.  That way you can feel the support on your chest without telling all the world that you are enjoying the feeling of a bra under you male clothes.  The other day I went shopping in panties and bra and nobody could tell.  (Of course it’s winter and I had a sweatshirt over top.)  I keep my intimates hidden in my room since I can’t talk to her about my desire.  Be careful about where you hide your things as you never know when she might go through your drawers to reorganize things.

Win your small battles and you will better about what you have.

Dani

[Anonymous]

If it makes you feel uncomfortable or dishonest, don’t do it. That rule applies to a lot of things, but particularly to buying items without discussing with your wife.

Being dishonest is stressful for normal people.

[Author]

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