• Creator
  • #727880
    Paula Here
    Registered On: April 13, 2020
    Topics: 34
    Replies: 262
    Has thanked: 1089 times
    Been thanked: 1781 times

    Good day Ladies,

    Today I was called by one of my 4 bosses to come see them.  I get in trouble a lot so I figured I was in trouble.

    When I got to the office she asked me to close the door behind me.  She then started with it have been brought to our attention.  MY MIND IS RUNNING IN EVERY DIRECTIO TO FIGURE OUT WHAT IS ABOUT TO HAPPEN.  She continued that you have been seen out in public dressed as a woman.  I answered yes.  And began to show her pictures of me dressed.

    She then asked if I needed anything from the company.  If I wish to come to work as Paula they are supportive.  She then told me that if anyone gives me any problem to let her know.

    I told her that I know that if someone has a problem with me that is their problem not mine. But she insists that I come if anything happens.

    She wants me to be myself at work.

    I let her know that I have no intention to come to work different than me.  I work in a factory as part of leadership. So I don’t want to wear nice thi gs at work as I don’t want to damage my good clothes.

    She then explained that they are looking at creating a gender neutral washroom.

    I told her I am not looking for that, but am grateful they are Making the changes.

    So I am officially out at work.  Work knows about this side of me.

    It is a strange feeling to know that the people I work with know about me. But what can I expect when I go out freely without thinking about being seen.

    This may seem disjointed, but that is because I am still shaking from the meeting.

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  • Author
    • #729175
      Jin Crocker
      Registered On: November 15, 2019
      Topics: 5
      Replies: 588
      Has thanked: 41 times
      Been thanked: 1938 times

      We got a new boss one day, we knew it was coming, but not which date. Then she showed up unannounced and I was in a nice skirt, sleveless blouse, lace bra, and strappy sandals. Yikes! During introductions, she said to me: “That is a cute skirt, it looks good on you.” I was all butterflies and rainbows after that.

      4 users thanked author for this post.
    • #728998
      Paula Here
      Registered On: April 13, 2020
      Topics: 34
      Replies: 262
      Has thanked: 1089 times
      Been thanked: 1781 times

      A week out from finding out i am out at work. Panic is subsiding. Decided i will have painted nails and lipsticks from now on. I will be buying some pants and tops apropriate for the work environment.
      So nothing stopping me from full-time now

      3 users thanked author for this post.
    • #728921
      Registered On: January 7, 2017
      Topics: 112
      Replies: 1261
      Has thanked: 856 times
      Been thanked: 3596 times

      That is wonderful!!!

      I sure hope is all works out for you!!!

      Luck and love!

      1 user thanked author for this post.
    • #728254
      J J
      Registered On: September 13, 2019
      Topics: 9
      Replies: 798
      Has thanked: 0 times
      Been thanked: 3225 times

      While it is great we get to congratulate and celebrate such “victories”, in reality this should all just happen and be the way things are. It is a somewhat was commentary about out state of affairs when something that should be a given has to be explained.

      I was raised, and always believed people should be allowed to be themselves. I ran my own small business and never had an HR department, not any specific policies. I just hired good people and let them do the job they were hired for. Unknowingly, I hired just about every minority class or group over my entire business career. While I did work with any crossdressers other than myself, I did have gay, lesbian, gender nonconforming, religious, and racial minorities working for me, and most importantly, we all got along well. While it was never an issue, if one employee had an issue with a Mother’s race, orientation, et cetera it would not have gone we’ll for that employee, not the one they had the issue with.

      3 users thanked author for this post.
      • #728340
        Paula Here
        Registered On: April 13, 2020
        Topics: 34
        Replies: 262
        Has thanked: 1089 times
        Been thanked: 1781 times

        I had no intention of coming out at work.  I was outed, and now I have come out to the people that I lead.  The management team all know now.  The law and the company policy have always been on my side.  One of my friends is an HR manager at a different factory with the same company and has a person fully transition and had to do training with everyone in the company and install gender neutral washrooms.

        It seems that my management team had reached out to my freind to ask for advice on how to handle the situation.  Everyone has been very professional.  I have always been different in my beliefs and thought process than all the other leaders and engineers on staff.  This just let them know how different I really am.

        My biggest fear has always been being out at work, it came true and it has been better than any dream I have had.  I thought I would need to leave me job and the company I work for to transition.  Now I know I can stay and let all of me out.

        It is amazing how our conditioning at a younger age impacts us now and builds the fear in us.  It seems to be unwarranted but still there.

        Many men have earnings, yet many of us are afraid to get peirces.  Many men have long hair, yet we hide with short hair.

        I hope one day all our fears are laid to rest and we can life the life we want with full acceptance from everyone.


        3 users thanked author for this post.
    • #728064
      Kim Dahlenbergen
      Registered On: November 18, 2019
      Topics: 1
      Replies: 393
      Has thanked: 427 times
      Been thanked: 1481 times

      I would be shaking too! However, that could not have turned out better for you, and if you ever decide to, the stage is set for coming out fully at work. Congratulations!

      4 users thanked author for this post.
    • #727990
      Krystyna Wolfe
      Registered On: March 25, 2023
      Topics: 2
      Replies: 10
      Has thanked: 52 times
      Been thanked: 44 times

      With the support of your company the opportunity is there to dress as a woman more often now. New shopping trip for work clothes woo hoo. Wear a little makeup apply your favourite perfume and let your hair down. Any trouble from other workers will quickly get stomped on by management. I am so happy for you, it would be quite a thing for that to happen for me.

      7 users thanked author for this post.
    • #727986
      Paula Here
      Registered On: April 13, 2020
      Topics: 34
      Replies: 262
      Has thanked: 1089 times
      Been thanked: 1781 times

      Up all night tossing and turning about what being outed at work means for me. Even though the company says they have my back and support me. I am wondering what was said to them to make leadership want to talk to me about my private life outside of work.
      What does this mean for my future. Do I dress more, do I Hide more, how is my wife going to feel about me being outed at work? Even thoigh the company and the law are on my side.
      Sleepless and worried

    • #727922
      Alison Anderson
      Registered On: October 15, 2018
      Topics: 16
      Replies: 1036
      Has thanked: 811 times
      Been thanked: 4401 times

      It’s nice to know that your boss has your back, even if you choose not to take advantage of it.

      6 users thanked author for this post.
    • #727920
      Kelly Lee
      Duchess - Annual
      Registered On: February 26, 2018
      Topics: 47
      Replies: 539
      Has thanked: 705 times
      Been thanked: 2439 times

      While I’m working from home we often do video call. I’m out to everyone and it never been any issues – until…
      My teamlead/boss/manager/… said he needed to talk to me about something. He didn’t know how to say it and did the squirm a bit at first. I was wondering if it was something related to my work but no worries. It turned out that HR had pressured him to ask me what name I wanted to go by, my legal male name or Kelly.
      I said that since I don’t have any plans on making a permanent transition I don’t really care that much and I guess it makes the paperwork a bit easier to go with the name i’m know by in all legal docs.

      Also, if I for some reason change my mind I know I can just tell them that and it won’t be any issues.


      7 users thanked author for this post.
    • #727913
      Angela Booth
      Registered On: August 1, 2020
      Topics: 10
      Replies: 1610
      Has thanked: 5710 times
      Been thanked: 7331 times

      Obviously you had been seen and told the manager so perhaps a lot of staff might know if the word had been put around although the person seeing you may not have said a thing so who does know. It was nice of your boss to address the matter in the way she did. No matter what you have requested you know that if there were any ramifications from you being seen by a gossip while at work you have the company behind you. I would go as far to say that if you were approached outside of work in a negative way by a colleague work would probably back you. I can’t imagine what went through your mind at the time but you did well and I hope this doesn’t stop you going out.

    • #727883
      Sherri Remington
      Duchess - Annual
      Registered On: August 8, 2018
      Topics: 2
      Replies: 293
      Has thanked: 237 times
      Been thanked: 1157 times

      I think it’s good that you’re working at a company that is willing to look out for you, and form what you have said I don’t think that you have any reason for concern for being a CD and loosing your job.

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