• Creator
    Topic
  • #678926
    Sandra Jones
    Participant
    Registered On: September 25, 2022
    Topics: 1
    Replies: 2
    Has thanked: 16 times
    Been thanked: 44 times

    As the name suggests I am a secret crossdresser.  I have never revealed my true self to anyone, stranger or friend.  I have nobody I can talk to, I come from a rough ex industrial town in the north of England where this kind of thing is met with violence and abuse.  My parents are irish Catholics and have no truck with this kind of thing whatsoever. I tried to test the water with my wife suggesting that I would like to try wearing her underwear and was met with weeks of arguing and trying to force me to see a therapist. I have refused point blank and stuck to my guns because I know there is nothing wrong with me (or any of us) and will not let someone  try to “cure” me.

    I’m sorry I am ranting, I have a lot bottled up but the long and short of it is I am here to talk to people who might be willing to listen

Viewing 20 reply threads
  • Author
    Replies
    • #679418
      Sarah Cerise
      Lady
      Registered On: September 25, 2022
      Topics: 5
      Replies: 107
      Has thanked: 303 times
      Been thanked: 407 times

      Hi Sandra
      Reading your post is all very familiar to me I’ve been in the closet 50 years now, I do know how your feeling if you want to talk PM me.
      Love Sarah xx

      1 user thanked author for this post.
    • #679139
      Stephanie Bass
      Hostess
      Registered On: November 30, 2019
      Topics: 27
      Replies: 4180
      Has thanked: 59959 times
      Been thanked: 14958 times

      Hi Sandra nice to meet you and happy you found and joined us girls here so get settled in relax and enjoy yourself here..  As a new sister and family member you are welcomed with open arms into our home as well as yours now also.. So sorry for your wifes reluctance to enjoy the new girlfriend in to your home as many ladies here have given you wonderful advice i cant add to them except to say hope it gets better girlfriend .. Take the old babysteps idea slow and easy  as we all here have had a few bad days it does get better .. Good luck Sandra and again nice to meet you and hope to see you around for a chat sometime..

      Stephanie Bass

    • #679131
      Courtney Leshea
      Lady
      Registered On: July 5, 2021
      Topics: 0
      Replies: 17
      Has thanked: 6 times
      Been thanked: 70 times

      Just a thought. Find you a counselor that specializes in cross dressing. And carry your wife with you. Both of you go. The counseling may relieve some of her fears about your dressing. And also help you and her come to terms with your dressing. If possible find one on a different area or town from where you live. That way you could just tell people your going on a day trip or shopping spree with your wife.

      1 user thanked author for this post.
    • #679104
      Anonymous
      Topics: 0
      Replies: 0
      Has thanked: 0 times
      Been thanked: 0 times

      Hi Sandra,

      I’m sorry your wife can’t accept your feminine side. Counseling might help both of you to understand each other.  You are still married so there is hope for you.  My marriage is over not because I’m a CD but for other reasons.  I wish you the best in your journey.

      Kerri

      1 user thanked author for this post.
    • #679097
      Ginger Snap
      Baroness - Annual
      Registered On: March 9, 2022
      Topics: 18
      Replies: 153
      Has thanked: 4357 times
      Been thanked: 774 times

      Sandra
      Prayers for a logical compromise. Counseling is worth a try for both of you. Many books available for wife to read “my husband Betty” was good. Don’t  know how long married, but give wife time to adjust. Even after accepting there’ll be some struggles. Be open and truthful. Try doing  little at a time. We’re  understanding and available to talk anytime

      Hugs Ginger

      1 user thanked author for this post.
    • #679046
      Cody Meow
      Lady
      Registered On: March 1, 2022
      Topics: 1
      Replies: 55
      Has thanked: 252 times
      Been thanked: 254 times

      I have also “tested the waters” several times over the years and it was a complete failure so I feel your pain. Hang in there, lots of friends to talk to here!

      4 users thanked author for this post.
    • #679032
      Ster Eleo
      Duchess
      Registered On: September 15, 2022
      Topics: 5
      Replies: 28
      Has thanked: 32 times
      Been thanked: 127 times

      Since when is wearing a wife’s or your own (after hopefully shopping together) underwear strange?

      I mean really!  There are so many directions beyond vanilla sex.  Most Of which I would find weird in comparison.  I am in the same room with you today however when I bought two matching sexy underwear Teddy-one piece swimsuit looking things yesterday for my wife and me to explore beyond this vanilla sex I just mentioned. She shut down!  Ah!

      one thing I try to do is understand. If my wife wanted to wear a lumberjack mustache in the bedroom for foreplay, I would not be a fan. But I would accept it as it’s just a thing for her and move on.  Finishing the opposition thought, I wish that she would do the same 🙁

      5 users thanked author for this post.
    • #679010
      Stephanie Flowers
      Ambassador
      Registered On: June 26, 2017
      Topics: 35
      Replies: 6476
      Has thanked: 13503 times
      Been thanked: 13570 times

      Sandra

      Sorry to hear about your wife’s reluctance to your desires to dress but here have many who understand your passion and here to help you in every way. As your dressing is limited at least have us here to enjoy the experience of being who you are in a community that really cares about everyone . Happy to welcome you and enjoy your time with us.

       

      Stephanie 🌹

       

       

       

      4 users thanked author for this post.
    • #678978
      Christina Isme
      Lady
      Registered On: April 8, 2022
      Topics: 0
      Replies: 560
      Has thanked: 594 times
      Been thanked: 1719 times

      We are glad to have you welcome to the site

      4 users thanked author for this post.
    • #678976
      Kimberly Ann Victoria
      Lady
      Registered On: September 6, 2021
      Topics: 1
      Replies: 250
      Has thanked: 907 times
      Been thanked: 961 times

      I am also in the closet and have no one to talk to, Thats why CDH is a good place for me to go. Please feel free to chat with me Sandra.

    • #678969
      ANDREA RAVEN
      Lady
      Registered On: December 21, 2017
      Topics: 6
      Replies: 369
      Has thanked: 58 times
      Been thanked: 946 times

      Hi Sandra

      Welcome to CDH, as another UK crossdresser that has been through all of this I know exactly how you feel. It seems to me you need to chat to someone who understands and perhaps can point you in the right direction and give you some reassurance. PM me if you want to talk about yourself and your feelings I am good listener……..

      I have a blog that may help:  mylifebyandrearaven

      Best wishes, Andrea x

      4 users thanked author for this post.
    • #678960
      Bianca Everdene
      Lady
      Registered On: April 11, 2017
      Topics: 31
      Replies: 988
      Has thanked: 4170 times
      Been thanked: 4317 times

      Welcome to the site Sandra, you are among kindred spirits here.
      Trying to be yourself and be happy is so hard in the face of such opposition from those who mean so much to you.
      Those who say what makes us happy is wrong, because everything they have ever been conditioned to accept as normal. Societal stereotypes reinforced by the media TV film and the need to conform, to be who we are supposed to be rather than who we want to be.

      But it does not change who you are inside, except perhaps making you happier. I’ve found my journey such an interesting ‘social experiment’ seeing peoples reactions to me, from close friends to total strangers, from old and young, athiest to strong religious beliefs, different political beliefs, those for whom ‘tradition’ is important.
      It’s such a generational thing. The younger generation are predominantly a lot more open and accepting. Those older more traditional people will mostly just switch off and refuse to accept what we do even in the e face of simple questions like ‘why does wearing a dress or nice underwear suddenly turn me into a  deviant monster? It’s only a dress!
      Sorry I tend to go on and on.

      I hope it is of some comfort to you to know there are lots of others in the same position as you.

      B x

    • #678958
      Siobhan
      Lady
      Registered On: July 27, 2020
      Topics: 7
      Replies: 126
      Has thanked: 885 times
      Been thanked: 658 times

      Hi Sandra, welcome, It absolutely makes sense.  I only ever feel normal dressed as a woman,  and always felt wrong dressing as a man.  Dressing always reset me, made me feel normal, and let me cope.  Counselling probably won’t “fix you”, in stopping this, but may open up why, and give you a better understanding of who you are.

    • #678956
      Rozalyn Richards
      Lady
      Registered On: July 27, 2022
      Topics: 0
      Replies: 443
      Has thanked: 444 times
      Been thanked: 1710 times

      Hi Sandra welcome to CDH it’s nice to meet you, we are like one big happy family on here so don’t be shy come on in and join the family, we all like to listen 👂 so chat as much as you want, I’ve been dressing since i was about 8 or 9 years old when i tried my older sister’s lingerie on, I’m still in the closet to my wife and family, we don’t judge anyone on here it’s a safe place for everyone, the girls will help you with support and advice X

      Hugs Rozalyn X 💋

      4 users thanked author for this post.
    • #678948
      Greta La Folle
      Lady
      Registered On: August 6, 2022
      Topics: 6
      Replies: 292
      Has thanked: 584 times
      Been thanked: 1058 times

      Hi Sandra

      Welcome to CDH, a large and welcoming family.
      Here you can exchange opinions and information.
      Please sister relax your mind and believe me here no one is judged, but always welcomed with a warm embrace.
      So you are in the right place!!!

      Have fun participating in the forums and polls.

      XOXOX from Italy
      Greta ❤️

      4 users thanked author for this post.
    • #678941
      Lisa Leigh
      Lady
      Registered On: April 20, 2022
      Topics: 5
      Replies: 231
      Has thanked: 735 times
      Been thanked: 1006 times

      I hear you sister, we’re here to help you. We listen, we talk, we talk, and of course we talk and listen. Many of us have been, are in or know about the situation you are experiencing. We are more then happy to help you in any way. Don’t be a stranger, lots to read and see here.

      Lisa Leigh

      4 users thanked author for this post.
    • #678940
      Morriah Wexton
      Lady
      Registered On: June 27, 2022
      Topics: 1
      Replies: 26
      Has thanked: 62 times
      Been thanked: 110 times

      You’ve come to the right place. I can say with almost 100% accuracy that all of us here have been through very similar experiences, and we can relate very well what you’ve had to go through so far. Just feel free to open up and welcome to you.

      5 users thanked author for this post.
    • #678938
      Paulette Parfois
      Duchess
      Registered On: November 17, 2021
      Topics: 2
      Replies: 609
      Has thanked: 2324 times
      Been thanked: 2398 times

      Hi Sandra, and welcome. I totally understand your frustration, but as you have very accurately pointed out people’s perception of us is usually based on misunderstanding and social norms that are not necessarily correct. I live in Arizona, but spend quite a bit of time in a very small town in Northern Idaho. Virtually everyone there knows about Paulette, and most have met her. Recently, she was dancing with the commander of the local Veterans of Foreign Wars post (of which she is a member). What I am trying to say is even in a little “redneck” town in the USA, being a crossdresser is not that big a deal any longer. Hopefully things will change for you as well. As to your wife, I think you are handling things very wisely by backing off when you meet resistance. Perhaps time will change things for you. I look forward to hearing more from you. Hugs, Paulette

    • #678933
      Aurora Eden
      Lady
      Registered On: June 29, 2021
      Topics: 34
      Replies: 224
      Has thanked: 1263 times
      Been thanked: 1177 times

      Hi Sandra,

      Welcome to this amazing and supportive group. You will find that you can talk to anybody and everybody on here as we are all girls together.

      I am from the same part of the world as you, by the way.

      We can talk anytime you would like to, Sandra.

      Aurora Eden

    • #678931
      Meeshelle Pauly
      Lady
      Registered On: January 15, 2022
      Topics: 0
      Replies: 72
      Has thanked: 109 times
      Been thanked: 296 times

      Happy to listen. It’s difficult not being able to talk about ourselves or share.

      • #678934
        Sandra Jones
        Lady
        Registered On: September 25, 2022
        Topics: 1
        Replies: 2
        Has thanked: 16 times
        Been thanked: 44 times

        Thank you, I appreciate that. I dont even know what this is. It’s not sexual,  there is no arousal when I am dressing it just feels right. Like the short amount of time I manage to spend as Sandra is normal and the rest of the time is dressing up instead of the other way around.  Am I making sense? In fact the name sandra was used by someone who was trying to bully me at work by insinuating i was a crossdresser and i thought it’s as good a name as any. I didnt pick the name i was given as a man so why pick my name as a woman?

        5 users thanked author for this post.
        • #678961
          Meeshelle Pauly
          Lady
          Registered On: January 15, 2022
          Topics: 0
          Replies: 72
          Has thanked: 109 times
          Been thanked: 296 times

          Sandra is a nice name. But Since you are reinventing yourself you might want a name that originates in a happier place. A teacher or a movie star you had a secret crush for or wished you looked like.

          3 users thanked author for this post.
    • #678929
      Alice Underwire
      Lady
      Registered On: September 16, 2019
      Topics: 97
      Replies: 5593
      Has thanked: 7617 times
      Been thanked: 14620 times

      Hi Sandra,

      Welcome to CDH.

      Alice

      5 users thanked author for this post.
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