Can You Be Attracted To Yourself?

Do you find yourself sexy? Are you sexual attraction to oneself

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  • #422388
    Hippie
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    Registered On: December 20, 2016
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    Maybe it’s the bomb lighting, your killer outfit, or your “I woke up like this” glow. Regardless, some days you catch a glimpse of yourself in the mirror and just think: “Damn.” But what if, when you stopped to take pause, you became aroused by your own reflection? Is there’s a difference between feeling yourself and actually being attracted to yourself?

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    • #429439
      Terri Johnson
      Lady
      Registered On: April 28, 2018
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      My “twin” is not nearly as sexy looking as Terri is, but there is that attraction we both have for the other 💑 . . . and we seem to be able to anticipate what the other wants/is in the mood for! 😉 Weird right??? 😄

    • #428529
      Anonymous
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      Absolutely. In order to love yourself fully, you must first be attracted to yourself.

      2 users thanked author for this post.
    • #428129
      Hilda Beaumont
      Duchess
      Registered On: March 14, 2020
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      Definitely! I remember the first time this happened me. I was dressed and relaxed and I caught sight of my self in the mirror. I saw an elderly woman, with white hair, dressed in floral frock, smiling back at me and I felt extremely happy. I thought she looked very attractive and this excited me. I now know that this is termed gender euphoria. I love to dress and when I catch sight of my reflection I find what I see attractive.

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    • #426249
      Patty Phose
      Duchess
      Registered On: May 7, 2016
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      The first time I dressed fully en femme was when I was 18 and got my own place. I went out and bought all these sexy clothes I had dreamed of and wanted for so long.

      When I got into my shiny sheer to waist pantyhose, crotch short dress with slits to the waist on both sides, my color coordinated sexy panties and matching bra, with my wonderful, sexy stilettos and my flowing Daisy Duke style wig and looked into the mirror, there was an incredibly sexy girl looking back at me. That girl was me.

      I got so excited in a way I never would have expected. I would spend countless hours in front of that mirror, dressing posing, trying to look super sexy and experiencing incredible pleasure. It was so crazy but I didn’t want to stop. This was an aspect of crossdressing I never anticipated.

      How could I take this even further? it seemed obvious. Dress like this and go out. it was an extremely exciting idea but getting the courage to do it was something else. I would be just about ready to go and my nerve left me. I even tried a few times, but after a few attempts I spent a pleasant evening at home with my mirror.

      Then when I finally took that walk from the house to the car, I felt a thrill, excitement and euphoria that I never felt before. Then I was in the car driving with my short dress hiked up even further. My legs looking magnificent in my shiny sheer to waist pantyhose and stiletto heels. I loved how I looked. I was so excited. I had to stop and get out in several places.

      I found once I got to that level of excitement, my fears went away and my desire became extremely powerful, pushing me to do things I might not otherwise do. That led to going to a college Halloween Party in my Daisy Duke costume. I got a lot of compliments, got hit on quite aggressively, I teased a lot and enjoyed the attention. I even met other CD’s who I often partied with at their themed or mostly fetish parties. it was exciting, fun and very pleasurable.

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    • #425206
      Anonymous
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      When my inner woman first stepped out, I used FaceApp to see what I would look like with a gender change. I was stunned at the face looking back at me. Yes, I thought she was attractive. I wanted to do nice things for her and treat her with the kindness that I felt I did not receive throughout my life. I never fell in love with the picture of myself, and my interest shifted to buying makeup and wigs.

       

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    • #425188
      Falecia McGuire
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      Registered On: January 11, 2019
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      Since first reading Blanchard and Lawrence writings on Autogynephilia, I have felt that the greater part of this theory is accurate as regards my personal experiences with crossdressing.  Arousal is certainly a mind managed phenomenon that often has little to do with what may be objectively attractive across any spectrum.  So . . . I guess when I see myself in high heels and feminine clothing, then become aroused, I am attracted to something!  It’s a fantasy that I could actually be convincingly feminine, but I have enjoyed trying.  There have been times when I almost believed I could, except for my face, pull off a reasonable facsimile.
      FAM

      Clearly, ‘crossdressing’ is not merely an issue of ‘gender expression’ –  for all crossdressers.  Instead, I suggest that the act of crossdressing triggers ‘happy chemicals’ in the brain for all crossdressers, and it’s the feeling that comes from those ‘happy chemicals’ that makes people crossdress over and over again.

      It is likely that most people will never feel the ‘urge’ to dress in the clothes of the opposite gender; such behavior would generally provoke embarrassment.  Crossdressers, however, feel joy rather than discomfort (to the point of feeling ecstatic, or, in the case of some fetishes, crossdressing induces sexual arousal, either through the clothes by themselves, or by ‘acting’ the opposite gender role).

      The above paragraphs are paraphrased (at times quoted) from a blog post by Sandra M. Lopes.  I agree with Ms. Lopes up to this point.  Beyond this she believes that much of crossdressing can be attributed to the adrenaline rush associated with behavior outside of normal parameters – taboos!  While I cannot say that this factor is irrelevant or nonexistent among many crossdressers, I can say that it is not a factor that contributes substantially to my continued (60 years) propensity to wear feminine clothing and accessories.

      I do agree that the rush I feel associated with wearing female garments is, no doubt, chemical.  While, this rush does not always result in arousal, it ALWAYS results in a state of excitement, comfort, and well being.  I have frequently written that my crossdressing behavior has been a life-saver.  I know that on a day when I might feel overwhelmed with concerns about finances, health, or relationships, I can slip-on-some-pumps or don-a-light-shift and feel one with the world.  I believe, at many times, I can actually experience the endorphins surging through my body.  And . . . as some have observed, it does resemble the runners-high, but seems so much more direct, defined, and intense.  At peak periods, I have discovered particular garments or a pair of heels, imagined wearing them, and felt the rush begin.  Unlike some who feel that their reactions to these stimuli have diminished with age, mine seems to have intensified.  Before our current sheltering, just browsing through a dress rack (@Ross Dress for Less) or flipping through the skinny jeans (@Old Navy) could brighten a cloudy day.
      FAM

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    • #424591
      Mary Priscilla
      Duchess - Annual
      Registered On: May 23, 2020
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      When I am fully dressed and made-up, my persona is that of a woman. As shared in previous posts, I desire to achieve as complete a feminine look as possible. I have received several compliments from other CD Heaven sisters which kindly endorse my commitment to feeling this way.

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    • #424491
      Cindy Lou
      Baroness - Annual
      Registered On: November 18, 2020
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      Oh lord yes, the thoughts and feelings sometimes precede dressing up and often can dictate what I wear. I then occasionally follow through with those feelings and make love to myself, not masturbate, but make love, big difference.

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    • #424356
      Scarlett398
      Princess
      Registered On: June 29, 2018
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      When I see Scarlett looking back at me in a full length mirror I want to make passionate love to her!

      Sincerely, Scarlett

      • #424499
        stephanie plumb
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        Registered On: November 17, 2018
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        So would I if I were you.  As for me? I just think  “I wouldna ride her in tae battle.”

        Please excuse the Doric – I’m feeling silly today (no change there then.)

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      • #424496
        Cindy Lou
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        I can certainly understand that.

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    • #424355
      Rei Durden
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      Registered On: October 11, 2020
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      Some days just thinking about what I’m going to wear is enough to thrill me!

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      • #424487
        stephanie plumb
        Baroness - Annual
        Registered On: November 17, 2018
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        You have thrilled us all quite enough thankyou!  You have to get past the choice of tucking method, and  consider the other clothing you might wear, before getting thrilled.

        Steph xx

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    • #424337
      Josie Angel
      Duchess
      Registered On: December 19, 2020
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      I’ve definitely had days where I look in the mirror in both boy and girl mode and think, “Yeah, I would do me.”  Especially at this one Killers concert.

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    • #424336
      Caty Ryan
      Baroness
      Registered On: August 27, 2017
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      My previous post on this matter runs pretty close to my thoughts on this matter

      https://www.crossdresserheaven.com/forums/topic/have-you-ever-been-in-love-with-your-femme-self/

      Caty

       

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    • #424314
      Falecia McGuire
      Lady
      Registered On: January 11, 2019
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      Since first reading Blanchard and Lawrence writings on Autogynephilia, I have felt that the greater part of this theory is accurate as regards my personal experiences with crossdressing.  Arousal is certainly a mind managed phenomenon that often has little to do with what may be objectively attractive across any spectrum.  So . . . I guess when I see myself in high heels and feminine clothing, then become aroused, I am attracted to something!  It’s a fantasy that I could actually be convincingly feminine, but I have enjoyed trying.  There have been times when I almost believed I could, except for my face, pull off a reasonable facsimile.
      FAM

      4 users thanked author for this post.
    • #423180
      Evelyn
      Lady
      Registered On: June 18, 2020
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      45 years ago, yes, my efforts to be as feminine as possible  did make me feel nice about myself when I looked in the mirror. Dressing in a sexy style was very exciting. Not now though, the passing years and all the time spent prepping makes you get used to your own reflection.

      6 users thanked author for this post.
    • #422572
      Regine Rich
      Princess
      Registered On: October 9, 2020
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      While i do believe it is possible, I voted no. My SO tells me im a very good looking woman, I dont feel any sexual attraction to my self, I do have those “damn”, moments, lol, but only because I like what I see, and cant believe it is me, not sexual.
      Regi

    • #422446
      Stacey
      Lady
      Registered On: October 3, 2020
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      Yes. When I have my hips,breasts and my tight jeans on I find myself sexy…as long as I don’t look at my face… Is not at all sexy…

    • #422415
      Stevie Steiner
      Ambassador
      Registered On: June 11, 2020
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      Oh my.  I couldn’t get past the “do you find yourself sexy” part.  Heck no.  Oh, I’d like to think I can look cute and I can sometimes  look in the mirror and think “not bad at all  girl!”  But sexy?  Nope, my self image has never screamed sexy, lol.  Ideally I would find someone else who thinks I’m sexy 😉😅.

      Stevie

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    • #422409
      Alison Anderson
      Duchess
      Registered On: October 15, 2018
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      No way for me.  I can pull off feminine, and I may be able to achieve nice looking (or may need help from someone more skilled with makeup than me).  But I’m not sexually attracted to myself.

      5 users thanked author for this post.
    • #422408
      Sa•man•tha
      Managing Ambassador
      Registered On: January 21, 2018
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      Yes it’s possible and yes there’s a difference.  There’s a whole theory kinda built around this.  While I find the theory terribly misguided, I wont deny that it addresses a real thing.  Do i feel that way about myself?  No, but it’s fine if others do.

      7 users thanked author for this post.
      • #422431
        Araminta Purdy
        Lady
        Registered On: January 23, 2020
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        I take it you mean the concept of autogynephilia. Being aroused by one’s self being feminine or a woman when bedizened, embellished and dazzling. I have no difficulty with the term within limitations except as interpreted by a small, vocal group.

        First, they assumed it applies only to males when a reasonable, if informal, survey indicated that females were similarly aroused by their own efforts at enhancing their beauty. One does not ‘dress’ to be ugly and unattractive. Well, not everyone. So if one takes the effort to be attractive one should not be surprised when one is attracted.

        Secondly, they assume that feminine males who adopted a feminine sexual identity are ‘homosexual’ in spite of the frequent and vehement denials offered. I feel that this is based on false premises and a lack of understanding of the nature of sexual attraction vis-à-vis feminine beauty and sexual identity.

        So I agree, misguided, somewhat simplistic and the full picture is not acknowledged.

        Araminta.

    • #422401
      Araminta Purdy
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      Registered On: January 23, 2020
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      I chose the first one. Not because its true but once a upon a time, long long ago, I believed it was true. I think it is our successes that motivate our desire to expand the range of our efforts. Sort of, “How far can I take this?”

      I also assume that some people (present company definitely excepted) are not as lovely as they think they, not no-how. But, I assume they find something in their presentation. It would seem to follow that those even moderately successful would be pleased with their creations.

      I also assume that what some people refer to as ‘homosexuality’ exists within the gender variant population in a similar proportion to the general population. I think there is reason to believe that; some vaguely recalled study or survey. I tend to minimize the significance of that except that the implication is that most cross-dressers are gender variant, gynecophelic males. Being gynecophilic they are attracted to femininity including (being gender variable) their own femininity. That is the ‘trap’. Being a woman becomes so pleasant that it is self reinforcing behaviour.

      Araminta.

      5 users thanked author for this post.
    • #422396
      Smartina Fonteyn
      Duchess
      Registered On: December 14, 2017
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      It’s an interesting point. I will say it is absolutely possible. What it actually means though, not only do I have no idea, but it feels like a huge psychological can of worms you’d rather not open.

      6 users thanked author for this post.
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