- This topic has 47 replies, 36 voices, and was last updated 2 years ago by Lacy Satin.
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- December 23, 2020 at 5:47 pm #422388
Maybe it’s the bomb lighting, your killer outfit, or your “I woke up like this” glow. Regardless, some days you catch a glimpse of yourself in the mirror and just think: “Damn.” But what if, when you stopped to take pause, you became aroused by your own reflection? Is there’s a difference between feeling yourself and actually being attracted to yourself?
- December 23, 2020 at 6:03 pm #422396
It’s an interesting point. I will say it is absolutely possible. What it actually means though, not only do I have no idea, but it feels like a huge psychological can of worms you’d rather not open.
- December 23, 2020 at 6:24 pm #422401
I chose the first one. Not because its true but once a upon a time, long long ago, I believed it was true. I think it is our successes that motivate our desire to expand the range of our efforts. Sort of, “How far can I take this?”
I also assume that some people (present company definitely excepted) are not as lovely as they think they, not no-how. But, I assume they find something in their presentation. It would seem to follow that those even moderately successful would be pleased with their creations.
I also assume that what some people refer to as ‘homosexuality’ exists within the gender variant population in a similar proportion to the general population. I think there is reason to believe that; some vaguely recalled study or survey. I tend to minimize the significance of that except that the implication is that most cross-dressers are gender variant, gynecophelic males. Being gynecophilic they are attracted to femininity including (being gender variable) their own femininity. That is the ‘trap’. Being a woman becomes so pleasant that it is self reinforcing behaviour.
Araminta.
- This reply was modified 3 years ago by Araminta Purdy.
- December 23, 2020 at 6:34 pm #422409
No way for me. I can pull off feminine, and I may be able to achieve nice looking (or may need help from someone more skilled with makeup than me). But I’m not sexually attracted to myself.
- December 23, 2020 at 6:50 pm #422415
Oh my. I couldn’t get past the “do you find yourself sexy” part. Heck no. Oh, I’d like to think I can look cute and I can sometimes look in the mirror and think “not bad at all girl!” But sexy? Nope, my self image has never screamed sexy, lol. Ideally I would find someone else who thinks I’m sexy 😉😅.
Stevie
- December 23, 2020 at 8:36 pm #422446
Yes. When I have my hips,breasts and my tight jeans on I find myself sexy…as long as I don’t look at my face… Is not at all sexy…
- December 24, 2020 at 5:38 am #422572
While i do believe it is possible, I voted no. My SO tells me im a very good looking woman, I dont feel any sexual attraction to my self, I do have those “damn”, moments, lol, but only because I like what I see, and cant believe it is me, not sexual.
Regi - December 25, 2020 at 11:34 pm #423180
45 years ago, yes, my efforts to be as feminine as possible did make me feel nice about myself when I looked in the mirror. Dressing in a sexy style was very exciting. Not now though, the passing years and all the time spent prepping makes you get used to your own reflection.
- December 28, 2020 at 2:54 pm #424314
Since first reading Blanchard and Lawrence writings on Autogynephilia, I have felt that the greater part of this theory is accurate as regards my personal experiences with crossdressing. Arousal is certainly a mind managed phenomenon that often has little to do with what may be objectively attractive across any spectrum. So . . . I guess when I see myself in high heels and feminine clothing, then become aroused, I am attracted to something! It’s a fantasy that I could actually be convincingly feminine, but I have enjoyed trying. There have been times when I almost believed I could, except for my face, pull off a reasonable facsimile.
FAM - December 28, 2020 at 3:50 pm #424336
My previous post on this matter runs pretty close to my thoughts on this matter
https://www.crossdresserheaven.com/forums/topic/have-you-ever-been-in-love-with-your-femme-self/
Caty
- December 28, 2020 at 3:58 pm #424337
I’ve definitely had days where I look in the mirror in both boy and girl mode and think, “Yeah, I would do me.” Especially at this one Killers concert.
- December 28, 2020 at 4:45 pm #424355
Some days just thinking about what I’m going to wear is enough to thrill me!
- December 28, 2020 at 4:46 pm #424356
When I see Scarlett looking back at me in a full length mirror I want to make passionate love to her!
Sincerely, Scarlett
- December 29, 2020 at 4:07 am #424496
I can certainly understand that.
- December 29, 2020 at 3:52 am #424491
Oh lord yes, the thoughts and feelings sometimes precede dressing up and often can dictate what I wear. I then occasionally follow through with those feelings and make love to myself, not masturbate, but make love, big difference.
- December 29, 2020 at 9:31 am #424591
When I am fully dressed and made-up, my persona is that of a woman. As shared in previous posts, I desire to achieve as complete a feminine look as possible. I have received several compliments from other CD Heaven sisters which kindly endorse my commitment to feeling this way.
- December 30, 2020 at 12:53 pm #425188
[postquote quote=424314]
Clearly, ‘crossdressing’ is not merely an issue of ‘gender expression’ – for all crossdressers. Instead, I suggest that the act of crossdressing triggers ‘happy chemicals’ in the brain for all crossdressers, and it’s the feeling that comes from those ‘happy chemicals’ that makes people crossdress over and over again.
It is likely that most people will never feel the ‘urge’ to dress in the clothes of the opposite gender; such behavior would generally provoke embarrassment. Crossdressers, however, feel joy rather than discomfort (to the point of feeling ecstatic, or, in the case of some fetishes, crossdressing induces sexual arousal, either through the clothes by themselves, or by ‘acting’ the opposite gender role).
The above paragraphs are paraphrased (at times quoted) from a blog post by Sandra M. Lopes. I agree with Ms. Lopes up to this point. Beyond this she believes that much of crossdressing can be attributed to the adrenaline rush associated with behavior outside of normal parameters – taboos! While I cannot say that this factor is irrelevant or nonexistent among many crossdressers, I can say that it is not a factor that contributes substantially to my continued (60 years) propensity to wear feminine clothing and accessories.
I do agree that the rush I feel associated with wearing female garments is, no doubt, chemical. While, this rush does not always result in arousal, it ALWAYS results in a state of excitement, comfort, and well being. I have frequently written that my crossdressing behavior has been a life-saver. I know that on a day when I might feel overwhelmed with concerns about finances, health, or relationships, I can slip-on-some-pumps or don-a-light-shift and feel one with the world. I believe, at many times, I can actually experience the endorphins surging through my body. And . . . as some have observed, it does resemble the runners-high, but seems so much more direct, defined, and intense. At peak periods, I have discovered particular garments or a pair of heels, imagined wearing them, and felt the rush begin. Unlike some who feel that their reactions to these stimuli have diminished with age, mine seems to have intensified. Before our current sheltering, just browsing through a dress rack (@Ross Dress for Less) or flipping through the skinny jeans (@Old Navy) could brighten a cloudy day.
FAM- This reply was modified 3 years ago by Falecia McGuire.
- February 15, 2022 at 9:40 pm #622181
So well said, Falecia that I’m embarrased that’s all I can muster up to say.
When I’m working too much and feel stressed, sometimes I think about what I
could wear when I get home. I especially love wearing delicate, feminine
jewelry like necklaces, bracelets and some rings. I might put on my bra first
when I get home but my necklaces and other jewelry are always right afterwards.I used to love to wear sexy, lacy bras, teddys with compartments for my
forms and very pretty stockings that felt great on me but lately I’ve just been
into soft cotton bras under a nice relaxed cotton top and simple panties.I probably sound boring, but there’s beauty in it’s simplicity and it actually
arouses me even more when I’m feeling comfortable.I love seeing and feeling those nipples under my top and it’s even better feeling
than wearing the usual trashy teddy.Although, I have to admit, if I was actually trying to impress someone I was attracted to,
all that goes away and I’m buying the sexiest lingerie I can get.Sorry I ended up rambling here, Felecia! It was kind of fun thinking about all of this though.
- December 30, 2020 at 1:40 pm #425206Anonymous
When my inner woman first stepped out, I used FaceApp to see what I would look like with a gender change. I was stunned at the face looking back at me. Yes, I thought she was attractive. I wanted to do nice things for her and treat her with the kindness that I felt I did not receive throughout my life. I never fell in love with the picture of myself, and my interest shifted to buying makeup and wigs.
- January 2, 2021 at 6:22 am #426249
The first time I dressed fully en femme was when I was 18 and got my own place. I went out and bought all these sexy clothes I had dreamed of and wanted for so long.
When I got into my shiny sheer to waist pantyhose, crotch short dress with slits to the waist on both sides, my color coordinated sexy panties and matching bra, with my wonderful, sexy stilettos and my flowing Daisy Duke style wig and looked into the mirror, there was an incredibly sexy girl looking back at me. That girl was me.
I got so excited in a way I never would have expected. I would spend countless hours in front of that mirror, dressing posing, trying to look super sexy and experiencing incredible pleasure. It was so crazy but I didn’t want to stop. This was an aspect of crossdressing I never anticipated.
How could I take this even further? it seemed obvious. Dress like this and go out. it was an extremely exciting idea but getting the courage to do it was something else. I would be just about ready to go and my nerve left me. I even tried a few times, but after a few attempts I spent a pleasant evening at home with my mirror.
Then when I finally took that walk from the house to the car, I felt a thrill, excitement and euphoria that I never felt before. Then I was in the car driving with my short dress hiked up even further. My legs looking magnificent in my shiny sheer to waist pantyhose and stiletto heels. I loved how I looked. I was so excited. I had to stop and get out in several places.
I found once I got to that level of excitement, my fears went away and my desire became extremely powerful, pushing me to do things I might not otherwise do. That led to going to a college Halloween Party in my Daisy Duke costume. I got a lot of compliments, got hit on quite aggressively, I teased a lot and enjoyed the attention. I even met other CD’s who I often partied with at their themed or mostly fetish parties. it was exciting, fun and very pleasurable.
- January 6, 2021 at 4:15 am #428129
Definitely! I remember the first time this happened me. I was dressed and relaxed and I caught sight of my self in the mirror. I saw an elderly woman, with white hair, dressed in floral frock, smiling back at me and I felt extremely happy. I thought she looked very attractive and this excited me. I now know that this is termed gender euphoria. I love to dress and when I catch sight of my reflection I find what I see attractive.
- January 6, 2021 at 5:39 pm #428529Anonymous
Absolutely. In order to love yourself fully, you must first be attracted to yourself.
- January 8, 2021 at 11:20 am #429439
My “twin” is not nearly as sexy looking as Terri is, but there is that attraction we both have for the other 💑 . . . and we seem to be able to anticipate what the other wants/is in the mood for! 😉 Weird right??? 😄
- August 9, 2021 at 10:35 am #529249
Hell yeah! I love my name, how I look, and how I feel. Revel has brought so much enjoyment in my life, and I love her and myself. She will never leave me. Loving yourself is very important. I have a “Love Yourself” heart on my cover image.
XOXO
- August 9, 2021 at 6:43 pm #529407
My $0.02 s that we represent what we are attracted to. If we are interested in the slightly sexy office worker and dress that way than it make sense we are attracted to that image.
- February 14, 2022 at 5:35 am #621412
I always wear what I would like to see the woman in my life wear. Sadly my wife does not like girly lingerie or cute dresses and won’t wear them for me. Thankfully I can wear them for myself and it excites me to see myself being that pretty girl that I would love to make love too. I often times do make love to her in the only way possible if that makes sense?
- August 10, 2021 at 9:17 am #529613Anonymous
This is a good one. Yes I feel aroused when I see myself dressed but a lot of it is seeing the person I want to be and getting away from my man look which I can’t stand. To see myself as Heather brings me joy and as someone said my brain releases the happy drugs which relax me and bring me to a point of inner euphoria. I know I don’t pass anymore, I used to be able to pull it off years ago but that 20 year old body is long gone but I still present myself nicely and do my best through body language and attitude to carry the persona of me being a woman. Now that turns me on.
I don’t know if that makes any sense but that’s the best I can come up with.
Take care, Heather.
- February 13, 2022 at 7:11 am #621103
Hi Heather
I can fully relate to that; it’s like having your perfect girlfriend and she is you, it’s an incredible exciting feeling
Maria xxx
- August 10, 2021 at 11:11 pm #529877
Whether I am fully dressed in female attire or just my lovely lingerie ,I move in front of the mirror and I am in love with this lovely lady looking back at me ,as at present I am only a secret dresser /underdresser this lady I see in the mirror needs to be loved ,so naturally I am the right person to take that on ,I think to myself Michelle you are a lovely lady .please don’t ever leave me ,I don’t know what I would do . Michelle xx
- August 20, 2021 at 12:06 pm #533396
Great topic Hippie and to answer the question OH YES I’m attracted to my female self and really turned on when dressed in front of a mirror. Anytime I’m wearing my beautiful/romantic/bridal lingerie in front of a mirror, I look and feel absolutely gorgeous and I’m seriously aroused and turned on. I look and feel like a bride ready for her wedding night and definitely helps to have a boyfriend who thinks I look gorgeous in lingerie as well.
- February 14, 2022 at 5:27 am #621410
I totally agree with most of what you said. I get very aroused when I see myself in the mirror wearing my sexiest lingerie. What I don’t need is another man to pleasure me because I have me, that man that I just put in the closet where I emerged from. Love seeing myself as a sexy pretty girl. Now if only I could figure out how to have sex with her. I would be a happy man and a happy girl.
- February 3, 2022 at 11:31 am #617947
I am very attracted to what I see in my pictures. If I could meet someone that looked exactly like me I would definitely want to date them. And taking it one step further, if/when I do the best pictures I can and want to do I can see myself gratifying myself to those pictures. I feel like the first person who should think you are sexy is yourself. If you are not the first person then you need to do what you need to do to make yourself the first person.
- February 3, 2022 at 12:06 pm #617966
Qinetta
Thank you so much for your honesty. I suspect most of us feel as you do but for a whole range of reasons are embarrassed by it and don’t fully acknowledge these very deep feelings. A relief to raise I’m not alone.
HildaRuth
- February 3, 2022 at 2:49 pm #618013
The Man In Drab thinks I’ll need a professional makeover before he can hope to fancy me (the pig) but as he refuses to pay for us to go through with that until the bills are paid he’ll just have to wait awhile to see how pretty we can be. He also has to lose some weight around my tummy too.
And now I’m confusing ourselves again… Maybe I should quickly use his credit card to buy that little black dress we’re after, that’ll make us fancy me. xx
- February 13, 2022 at 7:08 am #621102
Hi all,
I find dressing as ‘Maria’ to be sexy/exciting/arousing and sensual. When I look in the mirror and see the woman staring back I get very aroused seeing her because I’m in love w her just like seeing a real woman whom I would date.
Maria xxx
- February 14, 2022 at 3:25 am #621393Anonymous
Hey girls I think we kind of have to be to feel attracted to ourselves. I have always thought of my genetic self as fugly and bland. As Antonia I get to feel the way I always wanted to feel for myself. I wanna feel like even if others disagree I can still look at my self in the mirror and smile to my self and say damn you fine girl.
It’s imperative to say we want to feel about ourselves how we want others to perceive us even if this may not always be the case.
Finding the confidence I’ve never had with looks has really made myself think about what it is I’ve been fighting all this time.
- February 14, 2022 at 4:01 am #621399
I remember the first time as a young teen crossdresser my sister had helped me dress and did my makeup for a party. I looked in the mirror at this really pretty girl with long dark hair flowing around her shoulders and for a moment was astonished at how pretty she was. Then I realized it was me. When I stood and added a view of my legs revealed below the short skirt I was wearing, the heels, and the sexy top with fake bosoms, I got aroused. Now many years later, I don’t really get aroused but I still see a pretty, mature woman in the mirror. Makes me feel good.
- February 15, 2022 at 9:04 pm #622174
I was very much the same way, Danielle. Now, I can just feel pretty and that makes me happy.
(Although, I do still get aroused at times, to be honest.)
- February 14, 2022 at 5:17 am #621409
The fact that I see myself in the mirror or pictures or videos, and see myself as a young cute girl, it always excites me. I have to keep telling myself that the girl you are seeing is you. I love it and if that girl was not me I would want to be with her. This is probably the biggest thrill I get from crossdressing.
When I really think about it I see it as very strange but maybe not. I hope when I read all the comments here I will hear that others feel the same way as I do.
- February 15, 2022 at 2:24 am #621820
I do believe so. I have learned that Aurora is me and I am her. If I had been born female then I would’ve been Aurora. She is a deep part of my drab self that I want to nuture.
I think this a part of self-love, which, of course includes the love of others not selfishness but a function of acceptance of self which spreads out to family and human kind in general.
This motivates the desire to be attractive and kind.
Hugs, Aurora B
- February 21, 2022 at 11:44 am #623763
Yes, I relate to that completely.ip Its a part of being a female at least a part-time one. Aurora B.
- February 22, 2022 at 1:01 am #623947
I love femininity so much and to be able to see it up close and personal, from the inside out, is such a wonderful experience.
- February 14, 2022 at 8:41 am #621472
Hi girls!!!
Two weeks ago it was the first time that the curvy androgyn woman ( with no make up yet) in a sexy short black dress said to me from the mirror I AM ALSO YOU!!!
I recognize me in her and I felt for the first time sexy, complete and accepted …. , and attracted to myself because probably I am beggining to love/ embrace Sonia instead of rejecting her.
So for me attraction and love for my femenime me are joined.
Thank you for the question hippie!!!
And thanks for all the sisters because is very important for me to read your opened, sincere and full of feeling experieces of life.
Kisses,
Sonia
- February 14, 2022 at 11:22 pm #621805
I’m too conscientious to answer this question, lol.
I have those moments where I look in the mirror while dressed and think, damn I look good for a guy in heels, women’s clothes, dresses.
- February 19, 2022 at 12:30 am #623111
Hi Sisters
I wonder if we are being a little coy on this topic. Sometimes I think we lust after ourselves and it is this lust that drives the way we ‘please ourselves’ to put it euphemistically. I think I remember a sister writing on CDH that one of her great pleasures was that when dressed masturbation was so much more intense and pleasurable. The thought of myself a Hilda, and even better the sight of myself in a mirror in a favourite and scanty nighty under low lighting are so arousing with the inevitable result. I was discussing this with one of my closest friends, a GG, and she commented that she sees many men as being scared by/jealous of GGs’ ability to enjoy multiple organisms. With her usual irreverent sense of humour she said, “I think what you might want for Christmas is a clitoris!” Well sisters, what do we make of that?
Love and hugs as always
HildaRuth xx
- February 21, 2022 at 12:06 pm #623768
Hi, all!
I voted possibly because I can’t speak for anyone but myself. As for having feelings for myself, I just have too many doubts, concerns, issues, with me, to really feel that I like myself, and that’s dressed or not.
I mean there have been times in the past when I’ve looked in the mirror at my male drab self and wondered, why would anyone think I’m decent looking, much less handsome or whatever. And then over time I kept noticing that some women would glance at me, more than once, the way I might have glanced at some woman I thought attractive, and it’s like, what?!? You’ve got to be kidding me, are you sure you’re not confusing me for someone else?
So not having particularly fond feelings for me as I grew up, becoming an adult and beyond, I also look in the mirror when dressed, and think, well, maybe if I squint real hard, or just a quick glance, maybe at some huge distance, I might look, well, barely okay. And this was fully dressed and make-up applied and all. Those pictures in my photo file, are the best of at least 10-20 of each pose, and as for the poses I’ll never post! well, I have to keep deleting from my camera/phone as they take up way too much space.
So, I don’t have those kinds of thoughts for what I see. Only for what I wish I could be (or had been).
Hugs, ChloeC
- This reply was modified 2 years ago by ChloeC.
- December 23, 2020 at 7:34 pm #422431
I take it you mean the concept of autogynephilia. Being aroused by one’s self being feminine or a woman when bedizened, embellished and dazzling. I have no difficulty with the term within limitations except as interpreted by a small, vocal group.
First, they assumed it applies only to males when a reasonable, if informal, survey indicated that females were similarly aroused by their own efforts at enhancing their beauty. One does not ‘dress’ to be ugly and unattractive. Well, not everyone. So if one takes the effort to be attractive one should not be surprised when one is attracted.
Secondly, they assume that feminine males who adopted a feminine sexual identity are ‘homosexual’ in spite of the frequent and vehement denials offered. I feel that this is based on false premises and a lack of understanding of the nature of sexual attraction vis-à-vis feminine beauty and sexual identity.
So I agree, misguided, somewhat simplistic and the full picture is not acknowledged.
Araminta.
- August 9, 2021 at 11:43 am #529263
Thank you. Agreed. Very well explained, Gen!
Loving yourself is the key to happiness. I thank actor Bill Duke who helped me with that advice. I love myself and now I’m happy and content with my life.
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