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Hi gals, I’ve seen a lot of post on the site about how our SOs and people that have found out react our dressing, but how did they originally find out and how’d it happen
Personally I’m out everywhere band told the vast majority of people. My biological dad and one woman in the shop I live above did catch me dressed. My dad caught me by my painted toe nails and the woman on the shop when I was getting home from work on my first day out.
i told my wife that i like wearing panties. and she was all for it. and she started buying me all kinds of lingerie and all kinds of outer wear now i have it all from makeup to wigs . i am retire and cross dress full time.
I dressed when I as young and didn’t get caught but did get dressed up for play and a couple of events as a child.
I carried on dressing in secret. When I started to open up to my family I was surprised when they said they never suspected or knew.
Then when I came out to friends and colleagues I either told them and, on a couple of occasions just turned up to a pre planned meet up dressed. We’re still friends and go out too.
I really have been lucky.
I voted 50/50, although the 50/50 I am talking about is not what is in the poll. I have told a little over half of those that know and only my X caught me. The first thing she did was to tell our 3 grown kids along with my grand daughter and one spouse. Latter on she told her own sister and she said she also told a lady down the street.
That is part of the reason I somewhat don’t care who finds out and is why I’ve told my 4 brothers, 2 spouses and 3 nieces.
Sandy
My wife of now 36 yrs, caught me 6 yrs ago.
At 1st she said , ” shaving all the hair off your body, & found a PR. Of Black panties in the bed . She was thinking Gay Cheating!!
Nope ,neither, CDER! THAT’S when I got caught,and have never regretted it.
She then told all her lady friends, they ,in turn told the husbands. I had gay & lesbian friends that I partied among. Some of the sister in laws asked me out. Went to the PH.D. to complain about work tress .I always went dressed, every Saturday…could hardly wait for the week time end.
That was my story & I am sticking to it.
Dr.T.J.
I’m not even sure how to answer this. I was caught indirectly by my wife. Long story that I don’t want to get into here. Later I was caught by my youngest daughter. I told my son, but he said he thinks he may have seen me anyway. I told my older daughter who is not living at home.
When I started getting waxed regularly, the woman asked me why I was waxing my legs, so with a little bit of hemming and hawing I told her. When she left and another woman was doing it, there was one day when I was going to a party en femme at a friend’s house on the same day I was being waxed. So I put on a base coat of foundation on my face to speed up the time after waxing to get to the party. Somehow the tissue paper slipped when she was doing my back so I ended up getting makeup on the waxing bed (which she cleaned up). On my next appointment I told her. When she left I told the third woman within a time or two.
So far, no problem, I would be able to fill out the poll. But here comes the kicker. When I went for my first makeover at a transformation place, I didn’t actually tell, it was obvious. So too when I went to parties that she threw in her home, or later on at another support group. I went en femme, but with so many others it’s usually obvious who were or weren’t born male (whether CD or TG). One time my friend was having a (word-intentionally-deleted) maid competition in her back yard (her back porch was the stage). I wanted to go, but a co-worker’s husband had recently passed away and there was a memorial service the same day. So here I was, dressed in a suit, went to the memorial service, and then arrived late to the (word-intentionally-deleted) maid competition. Although I don’t look all that different as a man or a woman, a few people were questioning who this guy in a suit was coming to the event until they figured it out.
The long and short of it is, most people who know are from these CD/TG groups. I neither told them nor was I caught, it was obvious that I was one of them. They knew before we became friends simply by me being dressed at these events. This just doesn’t fit the poll choices.
I had “The Conversation” with my wife and she told me that she had an inclination that I crossdressed.
I told my wife, and a guy I used to work with, but everyone else who knows I CD knows it because they met me en femme, and has never seen me in drab!
Just writing that is thrilling – so many people who know me only as Laura, and totally accept that I am Laura – the best example was a lady bouncer:
I was just about to give up on a night out in Brighton as everywhere was packed and the shows were sold out.
The last place I went to was my favourite bar, which puts on drag shows. It was full, and I didn’t have a ticket, but thought I’d look in anyway, and, if nothing else, ask the lady bouncer about her air bnb which she mentioned to me last time I was down.
It was a real off chance, as I only go down once a month, and I had been away for a few months because of the first lockdown – but, as I approached the venue, I heard her shout “Hey, Laura! Where’ve you been? We’ve been waiting for you – get yourself in here!”
And that was it – I was in, as were so many familiar (and unfamiliar) faces, most of whom recognised me, called me Laura (why not, that’s who I am!), including the two Queens performing that night, and I had a total riot of a time!
No-one catches me, I catch them!
😉😘
Love Laura
That’s s lovely story honey. I can’t wait to hit kannel street in Manchester. Last year I wouldn’t think of ever say anything like that.
I am so tempted to try a night out in Manchester – the scene for LGBTQ+ is reputed to be amazing!
What’s your experience of it?
Would I get away with walking through the main shopping areas on a Saturday, do you think?
Love Laura
Most of the people that know were told by myself or my wife. There are 5 different people that caught me only because my wife arranged it so they would. Reactions ranged from momentary shock to laughter to thinking they had been “punked”. After the initial surprise there were the obvious questions and each one accepted the change and are still very good friends.
I told my ex-wife, though that had nothing to do with our divorce. I told a couple of girlfriends post-divorce who were open and accepting though things ended with each before we really got going. Our housekeeper inadvertently busted me to my current wife who has been outwardly accepting, but I can tell she is not totally comfortable so I keep my dressing away from her. I’m fine with that balance.
For me, the only person out side of CDH the I know, knows about Paula is my SO. She caught me. With a pair of shoes, and then we talked.
I would like to tell people, but as a private person who does not go out much, no real point to telling anyone, I figure if I am out and get recognized, so be it. Although I don’t dress in my town, so very unlikely to be seen by people I Know.
Paula
I have been letting family and friends know over the last ten years slowly and ones I feel will be supportive. I believe my mother always knew . I told my wife after being married for thirty years and she was somewhat shocked at first. She never had a clue. She has been very supportive and gone to many places with me . We go clothes shopping, out to dinner and just out riding in the car site seeing . Two years ago we were at First Event and the Associated press wrote a story on the fashion show and asked if they could use our names and post our pictures we said sure. Any ways how I told my sister and her husband was I sent her the add by email . She looked at it and said I see Katy but I don’t see you I said I am there she said no your not . I said look at the woman’s hands next to Katy. She said, is that you? I proudly said yes that is me. She was also shocked but we both had a good laugh . My sister and her husband have been supportive and she felt bad I had to hide it for so many years. Any ways today I am working on finding out who I am and why I am more at ease feeling like a woman.
Anyone who knows about “Brittney” I’ve either told or shown photos (since July 2019) of me or they’ve seen me dressed as a woman. I reveal that I’m gender fluid, not just a CDer. The majority of people that I’ve revealed to are within the CD/TG community, so I’ve never told family, friends, or co-workers.
No one has caught me in any stage of femme. Although my wife suspected I’d tried on a panty of hers and raised the tenth level of Hades at me. She’s made one snide comment about it since then, but she believes I’ve quit. In a way I have, I no longer barrow hers; I have my own.
The girls of my sisters Barbie group knew I was her brother, but felt it was necessary for me to be allowed in the group, that was when I was 5.
Coming out to my first BF was hard in many respects, but very sudden when it happened. I had heard rumors that he was gay for some time, then I finally saw him up close and knew instantly that I wanted to be his gf. I had been dressing in secret since my sis first dressed me. I managed to wreck my bike in front of him one day, and when he helped me up, the straps for the bra I was wearing had slipped down from under my tank top. He slipped them back up for me, made sure I was okay, and we became very close friends from there. We dated as BF/GF for 3 years and he introduced to most of his friends as Paula.
My sister is really the only person to have actually caught me after I had moved back home after our mother passed. She had no idea that I continued to dress after the Barbie group broke up.
Everyone else that knows are ones I have told or found out through gossip, about 50/50 really.
PaulaF
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