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Hi Angela, I think this question needs an “it depends” option. Usually I go out as a woman to the grocery store, Starbucks, walking the dog, a hotel getaway, etc but there are times when I definitely don’t to keep my SO happy. While she knows I am a CD, she doesn’t want others to know especially our kids/grandkids. So when we are out with them, there is no way I can dress en femme. Funny story, my wife and I went to a restaurant for my son-in-law’s birthday. We got there a few minutes before them. I was dressed sort of androgynously and the waitress came to our table and said to my wife and I, “What can I get for you ladies?” (this happens a lot due to my soft features, no Adam’s apple, and very long hair). Well my wife lit into the poor waitress telling her I am a man. And our kids walked in a couple of minutes later. I don’t think they’d mind as much as my SO does. Have a great summer, Hugs, Krista.
I said “no,” but that’s with an asterisk. It kind of depends on what you mean, specifically.
I do go out, but literally only to one specific place – so far, anyway. It’s a gay bar, and I figure it’s unlikely, I would think, that anyone will give me a difficult time about it in there.
Apart from that, no. I’m honestly rather afraid – for better or worse – of what could happen. Perhaps the majority of people will just ignore it or won’t notice, but it only takes one bleep hole to start something, and things could get very dangerous very quickly. I’m just not willing to take the risk.
To be clear, I’m not trying to make anyone else nervous. If you feel like you can do it, do it. I support you all the way. I just don’t think I should put myself in that kind of a position. Perhaps in time, if some attitudes in the world … soften, at least. Doubt they’d change completely.
I have only been out twice. I filled my car up at a gas station once in the winter and once more recently. In the winter I wore a skirt, black hose, boots and femine sweater, all covered up with a cashmere winter coat. This summer I wore my favorite skater dress, Jessica simpson flats, and jean jacket. I then went to walk around the outside of a strip mall that was closed. No interaction but it felt so good to be out in a dress. I have ordered two ne, higher quality wigs and while my SO is away in August, I am planning on going out shopping primarialky where women shop. I am thinking about scheduling a makeover at Sephora while I am out. Big plans if I don’t lose my courage. I think I can do it.
Just an update: The makeover is scheduled. The wig is new. So excited about the plan. Makeover, then more shopping. The next day I plan on wearing a floral maxi dress I just bought and, after practicing my makeup skills taught to me the day before, and for pictures in the garden area of a local park. OMG. So excited and so nervous. Big plans but I am going to do it.
Yes, I do.
one of my biggest dreams would be to dress as a fem and go out and maybe meet someone to spend time with
I go out now and then wearing a skirt,tights,heels and blouse, looking as much as I can like a secretary on her break, and its so amazing. Just love being seen in a skirt, and dont care if I’m clocked – the feelings far outway that. Just love being a woman in everyday life.
Wish I had your confidence Kirsty. Enjoy yourself out there.
I don’t go out as a girl. I go out as a crossdresser who looks like a girl 🙂
But I’m comfortable doing it. There’s places I’d avoid, but to be honest they are pretty much those places I’d avoid even as a guy.
Yes… I have all the clothes, wig shoes etc I need to do so. Just one proviso. I always havea professional do my hair and make up.
I like Stephanie’s “hide in plain sight”. If you look,walk and act like a woman, you will be taken as one.
EG If anyone looks at you when you are out. Long hair, “bumps on chest” wearing a dress, OK that’s a woman, now where was I on my Face book feed”. Unless you have none on are in “clown face”, no one will probably give your “boat race”, (Cockney for face) a second look.
Happy dressing
Caty
In my case the voice is a dead giveaway, so I dont interact much whilst I’m out
I always present as the man that I am. The clothes that I wear do not change that I am a man. Today I am comfortable dressing how I wish, whether that is professionally or casually, trousers and shirt or skirt and blouse. However, it was a journey to get to this comfort level. I will admit there are still times that I am self-conscious, but they are slowing waning.
MacKenzie Alexandra
The more you do it the easier and more natural it becomes, like most things I guess. You realise strangers are so wrapped up in their own lives they don’t notice or care, and if interacting with others en femme the consensus on this site seems to be that shop assistants, resteraunt staff, etc are cool with it, even inquisitive rather than hostile.
love
B
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I have to answer a resounding YES. I go out shopping, eating, clubbing, beauty salon or any other place I want dressed and completely made up as a woman. I have checked in to hotels fully dressed and there are several places I go that only know Carolyne and do know be my name. As others have said, the more you do so the easier it becomes. I do view myself much more as a tg than a cd so to me it is just ME and I feel natural and normal as a woman. I have never had any issues but wouldn’t go anywhere that a gg wouldn’t go to keep myself safe, not from bigots or idiots but from dangerous people and places.
🍷C
Absolutely Yes.
I love it and if I dress I go out. Day or night does not matter and location doesn’t really matter as long as it’s safe (as in for a guy also). I don’t remember the last time I dressed and stayed in but likely 10 years ago and even then it was more about organizing my things and not enough time. Dressing and going out for me is so enjoyable that if I wasn’t going out in public I would not dress. My life for me is straight cut-either all guy or all fem, no panties etc under male clothes at all-not my thing.
I think the only places I would not go would be places where my guy friend activities occur, inside my bank or places frequented by family. Part of this is because my primary vehicles are much more conspicuous then most-therefore I stay clear of those areas. I have been seen by a very close friend driving once and the subject of the woman driving was brought up later!
If you haven’t been out and want to I would recommend finding someone who you could go with and have a good plan. It is much easier with someone. On June 29 Sky (jackblack) a member here came to our GLO (Girls Lunch Out). This was her first time out dressed and also the first time meeting others and she was able to meet 12 of us. I can tell you she was nervous but I was so pleased to see her and she looked beautiful. It gets easier each time-trust me.
I was like everyone here when I started and was so scared to go out. While not out to a store or bar the first time I met someone at their place-I parked, they saw me and opened the front door. As I exited the car I couldn’t get out…I forgot to undo my seat belt-how embarrassing! One of many stories. I did not not have someone to go out with and did my journey solo and am so glad I took those steps because it open an incredible door for me.
Plan and take that step!
Sandy
In my hometown, no. But when I travel out of town, that’s where Rachel thrives. Latest outing was to a restaurant, in a blue shimmer knee length dress, pantyhose, flats, my brunette wig and a professional makeup job. Met another CD and we had a wonderful meal with delightful conversation. Never had any moments of anxiety.
I’ve been out in public a dozen times over several months and I really wonder if that’s my goal. Women have been very kind and men have no idea how to respond. At this point I would much rather have a meal or talk with other girls than to go out in public. Having been there, done that, I’m looking for friends and interaction. And I always enjoy lounging around the house.
Jennifer,
I think that men, generally DON’T know how to respond, unless they have a connection to the CD community. This time last year, I was in that group, myself. It’s an educational process.
Bettylou
Absolutely YES! I have not traveled this far and experienced this much to keep myself shut away. If people cannot accept me when they encounter me, that is their loss as they will never know what cool and intriguing person I am.
Sometimes I am pretty quiet and enjoy being a laidback person. Other times, just a nice hello will turn me loose and you may never get away from my talking either.
The term ‘Coming Out’ doesn’t mean stay inside and hide. Take baby steps at first, then try a giant leap.
PaulaF
It’s a yes from me… Feel free to check out my “Personal Cross Dressing stories”.
I do my best, and love the preparing, but at 6’4″, I doubt I’ll ever fool anyone!
It doesn’t matter. It’s all, and I mean all about how you feel.
If it’s something you want to do, and not illegal where you live, then there’s nothing to fear except fear itself.
Re-reading the title… I feel more comfortable in women’s clothing. In public, I am not just comfortable, I am myself!
Love Laura
That’s really more than one question. Do I think I can? Yes, but I haven’t – yet – because going out as a girl presumes a wig and makeup; and my first makeover isn’t until after I take my wife to her makeover next week. And will I feel comfortable? Probably depends on how well the makeover turns out, but I am OK with femme clothing other than a dress (wife says NO to that, so I’m looking forward to finding out.
Bettylou
I said no, only because I almost chickened out last time I was out. I have only been out a few times, but I am always left wanting more. I’ve been out for drive, riding around, no interaction so no problem. I’ve also been to a gas station a few times to fill up. I Pay with a card, so again no interaction. The last time I went out for a drive in my normal attire(dress, pantyhose, high heels, full make up) and pulled into a Speedway for gas. It was really busy, but I had been there befor . I’m not sure what came over me, but I got so nervous before I even got out of the car. I even cranked the car back to drive off, but then got myself together and said, no I am doing this. Got out the car drew my gas like a boss and off I went, still shaking for some reason. Had to ride around some more just to calm down. Not sure what came over me that day.
Chelly
Been out and about since my 20s (67 now) but only as a gang of one. In all those years I managed to be part of the crowd, I even took bags of shopping out with me as part of the disguise. I still take out empty envelopes to post in distant mail boxes as I drive more and more and walk less.
So no, I have never been comfortable in public but would never let that stop me.
Sally x
I’ve never been out in public yet so I’ve said no, i would love to go out en femm sometime in the future, maybe if I got to go out in a group with some more girls it would give me more courage to be Rozalyne xx
Think the mist important is selfconfidence provided a good make-up and that I blend in. Since my last makeover more than ten years ago, I love going out; this year even passed both immigration and customs checks as ” Helene” and now always go out when dressed as a lovely feeling; wind in the longish hair and feeling my “boobs” giggle gently when walking.
I can’t say I’m totally comfortable with going out, but I’ve done it quite a few times. It does get easier every time.
Presenting as a guy I take it for granted that I’m invisible no matter what I’m wearing. It’s part of the socialization we learn as boys. I think this was important for me to understand as a crossdresser. Once I realized I wouldn’t be invisible, it was easier to get out the front door.
When I present as a woman I know I’ll get some attention regardless of how well I’m blending in. I don’t pass but it wouldn’t matter if I did. It’s normal for women to get more attention than men. I’ve found that projecting confidence (even if I’m faking it) and smiling gets me past my insecurities, and it sets me free to enjoy the moment.
Not at all. I’ve never been comfortable going out as Patty. Still the allure and excitement of doing it is too much to resist. I have that first apprehension going from the house to the car. What if my neighbors are around and see me? I have to wait for that feeling to become, so what if they do. I walk to the car, open the door, get in, close the door and drive off.
Now I’m in the car driving. I look down admiring my legs in my pantyhose and heels, showing them off in my short dress. It’s so exciting and such a thrill to be doing that. I have to stop at a red light. Will those in cars next to me notice me. Will they notice I’m a guy in a wig with fake breasts? Will they think I’m a girl with pretty hair and nice breasts? Will they follow me when the light turns green? I’m very nervous but I just look ahead. I don’t look around to see if anyone is looking. I learned from past experiences that the best way to get looked at is to look over at someone. They always look back. And there can be that guy who thinks that girl is looking at me. I have to meet her. He follows me. Then I have to go to a public place an deal with it or make it look like I’m making a call on my phone, hoping he might think I’m calling for help. Fortunately the couple of times I had to deal with this in public it went well and the person was actually very nice.
Now I get to where I’m going and park the car. I have to get out. I’m scared. What if someone sees me? Of course they will see me. I’m in shiny pantyhose, heels, short dress or skirt, with pretty hair and nice breasts. I love dressing like this and showing off. What’s holding me back? What if I see someone I know? What if the wrong kind of person sees me and wants to know me?
I love wearing pantyhose with heels and a short dress and showing off my legs, always have, this is why I do this. But I’m not doing it. What’s wrong with me? Why am I so scared and nervous? I wrestle with this and I’m disappointed with myself for my timidness. Finally one wins out over the other. I either drive off or get out.
OK. I take a couple of deep breaths and open the door. My legs and me are in full view if someone is looking my way. That excites me but makes me nervous at the same time. OK. Next move. Put my legs out or close the door. A few more deep breaths and I stick my legs out. My pantyhose is shining in the sunlight. My dress, already quite short is hiked up even higher. If anyone liked what they saw when I first opened the door, they are going to love this. This is so crazy. why am I doing this? I love it so much. Always have. It’s a thrill and rush I can’t get from anything else. This is it. I stand up. I check and straighten my dress. I reach in the car and get my purse. I’m getting braver now. I so want to do this. I shut the car door. I’m out in public. For better or worse. But I’m loving it so much.
I walk across the parking lot. Is anyone looking at me? Should I look around to see if anyone is? Should I check to see if where I am is safe? I just look straight ahead and head to the ATM. I make my withdrawal, put the money in my purse and turn around. I look around. I see there is a few guys looking at me and smiling. If they only knew. I casually, comfortably, and confidentially walk back the the car. I put my purse in, then I sit on the seat. My legs are still out. I put my legs in, making sure my short dress creeps up even higher. One last show before I shut the door and drive off. I shut the door and start the car. I look down at my legs. I’m so pleased and thrilled I did that.
OK. Great. Now off to the Post Office to drop off some mail. And the whole process starts again.
I voted yes. However, I haven’t gone out into the general everyday public. On 7/27/19, I attended my local CD/TG support group picnic at a small secluded public park. I wore a red lace overlay top and a denim skirt, but not my wig (worried about the possible heat and humidity). I felt comfortable as it was a safe atmosphere. Later that night, I went to an event at an indoor venue that was also an accepting of CD/TG. I had my first professional make-up application done before this event, I wanted to look my fem best. I did wear my wig for the second event. I hope to go out for a day fully dressed, but I want to learn make-up first and might need a friend to go along.
I am not out and about all the time but when i do go out i feel comfortable being out. I still have my fears as should any woman or Transgender or even male should. You should not go to areas that could be a problem and should not be in to late at night in areas that are not safe. And I too also have my insecurities even as i do as a man that someone my not like me for who i am. My next big challenge is to go to a department store and makeup store. I have not done this because i do not want to be recognized by local people i may know. But overall i love going out and in the right areas i feel very comfortable and secure dressed.
Yes. I present as DeeAnn 80% to 90% of the time when I leave the house. That includes grocery shopping, the mall, Starbucks, restaurants, car club meetings, political meetings, women’s group gatherings, etc. About the only times that I will present as Don is due to convenience when it would take longer to do makeup and dress compared to the time for the errand.
However, one thing that I do in Don mode only is to take my car for maintenance or repairs. It is a defense against people trying to talk down to a female or trying to do something untoward. The idea is to not create a situation for temptation.
”If you don’t start none, there won’t be none…”.
I’m not passable but I have gone out in public as a man in woman’s clothes. Was not comfortable at all but it was exciting. Both times in a dress while sporting a shaved head and a goatee.
I have an app from work where they give you points (among other things) if you reach a certain number of steps each day. These points can be exchanged for gift cards.
I decided if I’m going to get paid to walk, I was going to have fun doing it. Since the summer, I have been going out dressed for a walk around my neighborhood twice a weekend if the weather is good, and also on other days off. I had been in a skirt or skorts through the end of October when I started wearing leggings or jeans. The last two days I wore a skirt just because I felt like it. With a wig, breast forms, large sunglasses, women’s jacket, and pink sneakers I don’t think anyone would recognize me.
I had made a couple of trips to the Dress Barn near my house before it closed. Since I would go often in male mode, and I only had a minimum of makeup on, one of the saleswomen recognized me and said hi. I have been out dressed to my local supermarket and Costco. This weekend I passed a coworker in Costco. I’m sure he didn’t recognize me.
And these are just the tip of the iceberg of things I have done while out dressed. So yes, I feel quite comfortable out as a woman.
I forgot…
In July of 2018 I did an event called MINI Takes The States. Every 2 years MINI/BMW organizes a cross-country tour. The western route, which I took, started at Portland, OR. However, I joined at Los Angeles as I couldn’t make a good case to drive up to Portland just to come back to LA. The eastern route started in Orlando. Both routes ended at Keystone, CO for a weekend. I was by myself and presented as DeeAnn for 12 straight days, covering 2900 miles. I thought I might need to have some discussions with hotel people as my driver’s license says Don and my credit card says DeeAnn, but that never happened. I was pissed a few times due to being misgendered, but that was about it.
At home, I am dressed 80% to 90% of the time when I leave home, but I don’t go out every day. This trip represented the most consecutive days that I have dressed.
I am getting closer to being 100% comfortable. I am planning on going out 100 percent dressed as Alexandra either this weekend or next. I have been doing it in stages building confidence and I am ready to do it at a bar/club where I can be me. There is a place in town called Club Diversity and yeah, it might be a cheat but it is a process for me.
I’m a big girl, 6’2″, 300+ lbs but dang it I am ready.
I went out last night but only to a cashpoint to get money, it was quite early in the evening so there were people about. I was wearing my black raincoat, 3 inch heels and little black dress and did get a buzz at people seeing me as a woman ( I hope so anyway ). generally I have not been out in day time for a while and would need to get my make up just right for that. Small steps as they say in a girls world. x
I’ve only been out a handful of times but I’ve REALLY enjoyed each time. Being in the UK near Blackpool, there’s plenty of venues that welcome TGirls. My ex girlfriend was accepting and encouraging with my dressing up but we separated (nothing to do with the dressing) and my current one doesn’t like it so I’ve not been out dressed up for a few years now.
There’s a massive thrill in believing you are passable and a great buzz i had was a taxi driver calling me “love” before i spoke and the turning red when I did!!
I have been asked for my phone number while outside smoking but didn’t fancy him!
As well as nights out, I occasionally took the dog out for a walk while dressed in a denim mini skirt with leggings and ankle boots. This was risky as we lived in a quiet cul de sac and had to go through a passageway to the beach but I only once passed an elderly lady and we exchanged smiles xI answered yes, however the only times when I have gone out in public was once for Halloween and I know I didn’t pass, another time I stayed in the car while my wife was running errands. I think my lower body will pass as female, the upper body, particularly from the neck up needs alot of work. But in two week we will find out, I have a professional makeover scheduled and I am excited and scared at the same time. Wish me luck, and stay pretty ladies!
Exceedingly comfortable. Thank you. I haven’t always. Then I stopped trying to be taken as a woman. I started presenting as a person in clothes. Yes, there are days when I present as a woman (rather old to be a girl, I think) and there are days when clothing and assigned gender match. But mainly I dress to suit my, and only my, feelings. I feel better dressed in my own style.
I voted ‘No’, because I have two major problems – I’m way too shy, and I’m way, way, way, too self-conscious. To do so, I’d absolutely need all of the following – to be in the middle of a crowd of accepting others, to have had a full make-over, to have been fitted professionally for a nice wig, to be sure I’m wearing fully current and acceptable clothing and accessories, and to be able to duck out at the least hint of someone noticing me. Other than just those few (minor) things, well, maybe I might consider it, if……..
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