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i was wondering ow many cd friends do you have? im not talking about cd friends on the computer. im talking about cds that you have met in person.
i think this calls for a poll.
Sadly, I had to choose “none”.
When I first joined CDH, I was only too happy to find that there were others like me who hid in the shadows, privately dressing, yet longing to associate with other CDs. I’ve gotten to know quite a few of them here, and even a few special friends, separated unfortunately by unforgiving geographical barriers. But I would like to meet them all someday! (Although right now that seems highly unlikely.)
For those of you relatively new to CDH, there was a new initiative started about a year ago called “Local Chapters.” It offers a way for CDH members living (relatively) close to one another to form a CDH “special” Group and plan Group meetups in person. If interested, you can read about it at:
https://www.crossdresserheaven.com/local-chapters/At the present time, all of the Local Chapters that have been formed are in the USA. But I think it would be exciting to see Local Chapters formed by CDH girls in other countries. I see so many members here from the UK, Canada, and Australia. It’s great to be a part of a global CD community!
For the longest time I was deep in the closet = not ready to talk to anyone about it except my wife.
This last year I started to leave the closet a little and if it was a big gathering with multiple cd/lgbt* people somewhere around ottawa I might even go there. I did even look for anything but besides covid preventing any gathering I haven’t found anything besides gendermosaic which seems to have had it’s last even in 2018.I have done some private chat with CDH people in ottawa area but I don’t think I would be ready to meet anyone in person if it’s just us two (and I think the people I talked to feel the same).
/kt
I like many here have no CD friends I can talk with and go shopping with. Iv’e tried to set up a shopping trip with 2 of the gals here at CDH and the both backed out the day before. I don’t blame them, they are probably not ready to go there yet. But for me at the age of 66 I am going to keep looking for friends to share my new self with. Weather it is another CD or a GG ( I don’t a GM would ever understand ). Maybe someday I can change my site for lonelycd to something else. All you gals here at CDH are great but sharing with someone face to face elevates to heaven.
Sandy
I ticked 5-10, but could be more or less, depending on how you count them!
There are the girls from the support group, which, to be fair, I only attended once. One of them regularly comes to Brighton and we meet for meals, shopping and ents.
The first person I met in Brighton is an ex drag queen, and I’ve met several performing queens since, all of whom are lovely ladies.
I’ve met at least 6-7 CDs, some Trans girls – and a friend I did pantomime with years ago has now fully transitioned, and is enjoying life with her wife and children, although her church have been really awful about it.
My wife works with Blu Hydrangea’s uncle (Blu was on Ru Paul’s Drag Race UK), so there are sisters all around.
Just waiting for the wife to finally realise that it’s far from wierd, but everywhere, and normal!
Love Laura
Not for the lack of trying… but I had to check “none”. For some reason we CDers seem to be a hard bunch to get to know. I have met a few over the years but no lasting friendships to stay connected with. Living in the boonies probably doesn’t help things either. Like others here have said it would just be nice to have at least one understanding CD friend to share things in common and this wonderful side of life with. Hey! You never know…anything is possible someday I guess………..
its like i thought. not many cds have cd friends. i think so many are so far in the closet and not ready to come out. it could be from fear of being discovered. i talked to alot of cds in my area and tried to find someone to go shopping with or go out and do something with. all i find is ones that just want to stay home and have sex. this is the place i found the most cds that actually leave the house. unfortunately none in my area. been looking for at least 2 years now. i found one but had to train her. shes all set now and we keep looking for more. hope someday tere will be more like us. right now we have a lot of non cd friends that accept us as we are.
I’ve only ever met one other in the flesh.
Would be lovely to meet others to share our mutual interest. Maybe when things return to normal and UK lockdown is lifted. Party?
Sadly, none. I’m on here as well as FB. You’d think I’d run into someone at least in the same State, but not so far. Too bad because I’d love to go places dolled up with a friend. Not to mention the support and friendship would be nice.
That said, I do have a handful of CD and TS online that I believe meet the friendship criteria. Diane Crow on CDH is a perfect example. One day, post Covid, I know we’ll all meet. …I’m dying to go to Divas Las Vegas.
Though being here at CDH I was invited to attend a meeting of a local (Toronto, Ont) social group for CD’s and TG’s, which I did, then joined I the group. So through them I have met so many other CD’s a number of which have become friends.
There is an interesting intimacy meeting these folks in real life situations, read, in drab, for lunch or whatever other non dressing situation it might be. As we know each other’s secret!
Amy
I plan on attending a support group in the next month or so. I’m hoping that I will make a friend or two there but in the meantime if anyone in Chicago would like a new friend just let me know.
I am so fortunate to have a large number of trans friends. Many in various stages of their journey. There is nothing like community and to be able to gather with one or more girls to have conversations not only about life in general but covering many of the subjects you see on the forum. Prior to Covid we would meet for dinner out with some times up to twenty girls attending. I go out with one or two friends on occasion now that it is opening up some in my area. I treasure each moment I spend with my friends. Since covid one of the girls subscribed to Zoom so we meet each week online for several hours of lively conversation.
I urge all of the ladies who live near a large population center to do a web search for trans groups. They are more prevalent than you think and once you make contact it is a great source for making friends. I went to London several years ago and searched for a group and found The Way Out Club. Had a great evening, met some new friends and through them found other friendly venues. Keep searching, a girl can’t have too many friends.
WOULD LOVE to have a cd friend have so many stories to tell would love to share each others
Some things I’ve observed in past and present
Like here at CDH, its seems difficult to get a group together consistently. To be fair of course, everyone has work/home/family schedules to take care of, but as I would like to try and get together an Arizona or Phoenix group together, it seems more time is needed than one can give a lot of times.
When it comes to in person, there seems to be an aversion to meeting as one’s drab self. I see this and notice that unless you can go out completely in femme, you dont go out and meet other cd’s.
it makes for CD time all the more difficult. Just observations and food for discussion.
xo – Robyn 😁🤗
yes robyn
cds are hard to meet. especially when most of them dont leave the house dressed. it would be nice to find a few that could go out and do some shopping or get a pedicure. im sure if i could take them out once and show them theres nothing to be afraid of they would want to go out all the time. i dont mind going out by myself. i get along with everyone. so many complements and nice people. sometimes i think they think im a celebrity. just a cd out having fun.
If you have CD friend(s), treasure her. If you participate in a CD group which you feel comfortable in, treasure it.
CD friendships take time to develop, but it is worth waiting.
The character of CD groups change over time and may no longer be a good fit for you, move on. If the group is a good fit, get involved, support the group, support new girls. It is common to outgrow a group that was once a good fit.
Just saying.
I’m a bit unsure how to answer the question. A GG friend would throw parties a few times a year, and I got to meet a lot of people at the parties. Some people came for a number of these parties and then stopped, while others took their place. There were a number of people who came regularly, and we became friends. But other than these events, or occasional events outside her home, we didn’t do anything together. These were basically cocktail parties, but with many CD/TG attendees (and some supporters as well).
I also started attending another support group, where I met some more people. Some I had met at the parties, while others were new acquaintances.
This summer, my GG friend was going to meet with several other CDers and we would go to the home of another CDer who lives near the beach. At the last minute, my GG friend wasn’t feeling up to the long ride, so I ended up joining my other CD friends to one home where we carpooled the remainder of the trip.
So I’ve met a lot, friends with some, and gone out with a few.
I have never spoken to a crossdresser in person.
I may have seen one in Vegas last year, but she went by in a flash.
-Caroline
Sorry to say none, but would love to meet CD friends in person, to dress and go out feeling safe…. unfortunately COVID has made it difficult, any UK dressers that would like to meet please get in touch…xx
I have 2 very good and close girlfriends who are CD and have known one since my late 20’s, the other since my 30’s. They both live an hour from me, but we do get together at least once a month, sometimes more. There are other girls that join us from time to time when opportunity allows them an evening or afternoon free. There are many girls who come and go pretty often though, but the main support group here in the area knows about us and has our numbers to let us know if someone is ready to take a step out in a protective atmosphere.
PaulaF
Have had lots over the years since I hang out at drag performances and cd clubs as well as support groups. Very hard I think to just meet others on the streets unless you are en femme too. Most girls are very nervous in public. When you are in an enviroment of other cders everyone is at easy and open up. Then usually plan a get together for coffee or an outing together. Then there is the domino effect of having a friend who introduces you to their friends and so on. Attend tg events and gay pride or attend parties and conferences and see how others are as excited as you in pairing up
I have one CD friend. I’m really new here at CDH and just got the courage to talk to my wife about moving beyond underdressing. The best thing happened as I dove into the articles and forums. I realized that someone I already know is just like me after seeing her photos. I am extremely fortunate that we connected here at CDH. It will be nice chatting to someone that is already a friend about these things without having any fear of an adverse reaction. I consider myself a lucky girl indeed.
Hi Mika! I have met 3 Cd’s in St.Charles of all places. A bar called Leo’s pub and Grill. Very lbgt friendly. They have drag shows every other Friday. And 1 tomorrow night for Thanksgiving. Hugs Pru
I’m a bit surprised about St. Charles, too, but that’s really awesome. I have some good friends here on that side of the state but it’s just a bit too far since I am in st Joseph. I still just have Philma Bierstein as my one CD friend here but I have met so many supportive people on my outings alone. I never thought there would be so much support here but I was wrong.
Hugs
I didn’t have any until 2 weeks ago on Halloween weekend when I went to Palm Springs and met the most amazing group right here from CDH!!
XOXO 💜 Christine 💃
I belong to two CD/TG support groups in the city I live near. The second is an off-shoot of the first, so many of the same ladies; average 8-12 per meeting. I’ve been out shoe shopping with my mentor from the groups, but I was in “male mode” as it was the beginning of me coming out of the closet. I’m hoping me and her can go out more often once COVID is lifted. There’s a CDH member, Lorie P., that I know from my local groups, she convinced me to join CDH. We met-up one time, both in drab, and she helped me upload my CDH profile photo. I’m hoping to meet-up with her again after COVID is lifted, I need her help uploading photos to my CDH public page.
I also had a meet-up with another CDH member a few months ago and it was a promising experience. I think me and her will meet-up again once warmer weather returns and COVID is lifted.
The ability to form CDH Local Chapters should provide great opportunities for girls in the same geographic area to link up with each other. Hopefully, as 2021 progresses, the virus pandemic will wind down, and we can feel secure socializing.
Another girl and myself have been considering starting a CDH local chapter, based in Atlanta.
My heart goes out to those who have not yet had the chance or opportunity to meet anyone else as it’s very special. There are a lot of dynamics it seems to meet others as you know and I wish you the best, lets hope 2021 will be the year.
Certainly location has much to do with meeting others and I am fortunate to live one of those places and also travel to another often for work.
My home is Tacoma, WA USA and the Puget Sound area has many wonderful people, support organizations and social clubs. Nearby for me is Portland, OR which is (now was???) my favorite town for Sandy. I am not a member in the local clubs though I do belong to the RCTG in Portland. I know many in the local social groups and am involved in a totally non-official group that meets for lunches about every other month (obviously on hold now). We typically have from 4 or 5 to around 20 ladies at these and it’s been a fantastic way to meet more great friends.
A handful of us meet much more often then the lunch groups. It is always a highlight to visit with such great friends and some are members here.
Honestly I am not sure how many I know on a first name and recognizable level, maybe 30/35 but my real core friends are closer to 10 or 12.
That said I feel it is way more important to have quality friends then a lot of friends.
Happy New Year to everyone,
Sandy
I’ll split my response into two parts
1/. CD friends I have met. all up, 3-4 Aussie CD’s whom I have met in person through the local on line CD group and then on to this great site . There is one, (morning Dani!!) with whom I have regular “drab” coffee meetings
We have been out shopping and Covid and circumstances permitting we are planning a “girls weekend” away for later in the year
2/. I’m part of a lovely little intimate email group with members both here in Oz, plus UK, NZ, USA and Canada. Most of whom have come together via CDH. Given the geographical spread face to face meetings are extremely unlikely to occur
Precisely two at this point. I have done clotheswaps with both and then did a little shopping with one. I dressed up to meet one of them as we did the swap at my place. Hoping to meet up with both of them again and more frequently. One of them has to dance around Covid a lot as they live with high risk friends and family.
Also always looking out for more friends too!
None for me. I am planning to do a discussion group through Femme Fever on Long Island one of these years. I have had a few random invites to get together with online women, but have never accepted. As a thought exercise, I asked myself whom I could trust among my family and friends to share this secret (my wife and various therapists know). I am sure if people found out, many of them would be supportive, but I was saddened that I haven’t developed any friendships in my life whom I could trust to be accepting and discreet about it.
I’ve met about 50 CDH members in person. “Attended six conferences(3 Esprit’s with a 4th upcoming in May 2022; 2 Keystones with a3rd upcoming in March 2022; one Diva Las Vegas/Wildside this past Halloween; and one Southern Comfort back in 2016). and met hundreds of folks at the conferences from the CD/TG community.
I’ve also visited/vacationed/hung out with folks from the site at my home in Virginia or theirs in western MA, New Jersey, Atlanta, Ft. Lauderdale, New Orleans and DC metro region
I fly and drive to those get-togethers in full Cyn mode.
All my friends at the bar where I play league pool have met Cyn(mix of some LGBT folks as well as cis males and females. Attended all my Hokies home football tailgates and games as Cyn.
Never had any issues at any of those encounters.
Encourage any one to attend a CD/TG conference if you get the chance. Some may be close to you, others distant-but I know at Esprit for example there is a lady who comes every year from South America-Brazil I think-to the Pacific nothwest.
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