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    • #31418

      When I fire started going full femme I made a real effort to look like the young ladies I worked with and the normal street styles for young professinal women my age and social status working in Adminstration at the University I armed at , and my friends female friends and of course couples in our social circle . The major change was when we went to social upscale events or plays , charity balls , the ballet or to classical music events and the after parties . I started to wear some what my wife call were Glamour girl outfits . My wife would patiently put my long hair in elaborate hairstyles and take a lot of time putting on glamour girl makeup as she enjoyed me being gorgeous in a attractive look at me style . At first I when along with it as it was like a separate look or style away from my usual work or subdue public style . My issue was I started to love the flattery from other men or our friends . I found a rush or sensousl heat from being told I looked beautiful or how lovely I looked . I started wearing more glamour girl looks to work and in public because I was addicted to the attention of being noticed for being attractive . I slowly started wearing gowns or cocktail dresses that would show my breast attractively . I learned how to put makeup on my breast and to wear Jewerly that brought my breast in a pretty but demure way to attention . I was in extacy if a man complimented me on any way and started accepting I was attracted to men . Before I dressed just to be complimented on by other ladies at work or our friends . I was truthful with my wife , and she knew in my glamour girl style I had started really wanting attention from men . I loved dancing with them at parties and social flirting . I even started to go to these events looking for certain men to get ther attention in a demure way . My biggest fight or issue with my wife was I started wearing see through dresses or gowns with lace applicants appropriately place and long split skirts and tops or dresses that showed off my breast . I started to worry my wife and began to feel like I was an attention freak . Was I going down a path to expose myself  to the extent that  was an embarrassment or was coming close to degrading oversexualizing myself . I was totally afraid of being humiliated in a social situation but I could not stop wanting to be a beautiful glamourous lady wearing sensual gorgeous styles that people would notice and comment on how lovely I looked . At the same time I was aware that some women were making comments about being the center of attention at any event and comments on how much makeup I wore or how it was so overdone to try to attract men . Event these comments gave me a rush and I loved it . Please give me some thoughts on how to know where loving to be beautiful crosses into trying to be too sexy . I sometimes think I want to even have humiliating remarks made my some wife’s in our social events , that that to turns me on . I cannot stop wanting to be u questionably pretty and noticed . When I became femme that made me feel secure and I lived for my diary of compliments . But now even some of my male friends who are gay are telling me to tone it down a little . I want a Grace Kelly type of demure Personaity but need especially from men to be told I am beautiful .

      in

      D

       

      L

    • #31723
      Julia
      Baroness

      Hi Karyn,

      Thank you for submitting such an interesting question for us!

      It sounds like there’s a significant conflict between your wish to be appreciated and admired as a woman, while also wanting to dress in a way that may appear either overdressed or overly sexy for some social situations.

      You describe your style of fashion as including “Glamour girl outfits” – even revealing ones. You’ve said (and I quote) that your preferred style of dress includes “see through dresses or gowns with lace applicants appropriately place and long split skirts and tops or dresses that showed off my breast”.

      Your request:

      “Please give me some thoughts on how to know where loving to be beautiful crosses into trying to be too sexy. I sometimes think I want to even have humiliating remarks made my some wife’s in our social events, that that to turns me on. I cannot stop wanting to be u questionably pretty and noticed. When I became femme that made me feel secure and I lived for my diary of compliments. But now even some of my male friends who are gay are telling me to tone it down a little. I want a Grace Kelly type of demure Personality but need especially from men to be told I am beautiful.”

      Herein, I will postulate, lies the underlying problem: On the one hand, you crave the attention and the compliments you get when wearing “Glamour girl outfits”. On the other hand, your wife is freaking out because of how revealing your clothing is. And, to make things even more complicated, you’ve told us that you sometimes enjoy “humiliating remarks” by “some of the wives at your social events”.

      I hope you can see that you have found yourself in a no-win situation.

      Is it possible for you to socialize at (some) events without your wife there to complain about your see-through dresses? Can you sit and talk with your wife to really listen to what’s going on in her heart and in her thoughts? (Perhaps she’s afraid of something – and your listening to her might help ease those fears). It seems to me that with an open dialog with your wife, the two of you might find an acceptable compromise. As one example, could you attend some events out of town, dressed as you wish, where few if any people know you or your wife? How is your marriage doing apart from this particular issue? Does your wife think (or believe) that you are bisexual? Is she okay with that?

      You asked, “Please give me some thoughts on how to know where loving to be beautiful crosses into trying to be too sexy.”

      Karyn, I believe you already know the answer to this question. Clearly your Glamour girl outfits cross the line – several people you already know have made this clear. Dialing it back a bit sounds like a reasonable suggestion. But if you won’t be satisfied unless you are wearing something revealing, then you might want to consider the feelings of your spouse (assuming you want to continue having a spouse).

      ~ Julia

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