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Hi girls
Following advice from the girls here, i decided to give charity shops a go.
First off, i tried a Christian Aid shop. My first thought was, this is perfect for me, as they packed as much into the shop as they could, meaning smaller aisles so you can browse a lot more privately. I even managed to try on shoes, but nothing for my size. The downside being, that all the items are just thrown on the rails in no order whatsoever. So you have to through all the hangers in each ailse, pulling them out to see them and also to make sure you dont miss anything you like. There were 2 young girls behind the counter and as i had been warned to be wary of Christian Charity shops due to prejudice etc. I asked if a 40 yesr old woman would wear a skirt i was holding and they look mortified. Eventually one asked why didnt she get it herself and the other spluttered, it really depends on her style. Mental note, unless its accessories then avoid.
I then went to a couple of other shops and they were all the same, however the staff were very friendly
and more than happy to answer any of my queries.I still hadnt found a skirt i liked, not many in the main stores, maybe due to winter, so i called into a Cancer Research shop only 5 minutes from my home, with possibility of being recognised being very high. But Michelle needs a skirt, so i went in. There was an elderly man behind the counter, very fastidious and taking ages for him to do things, but very warm and friendly, you know the type girls.
Well, he had the shop laid out perfectly, with sizes in order, skirts on one rail, dresses on the other etc. With shoes and handbags mixed in every where.
I found a lovely knee high black skirt, mixed blue cloud blouse and a pair of high heel shoes. Yes i have finally found shoes, yaaaaay. There are not perfect, but as i only closet dress at the minute, they should be great for a starter pair.
I would advise any girl who has the confidence to shop at a supermarket etc, to definitely use charity shops. You could spend a day going around them and there is absolutely everything you need in them. However, i have to poiqqqqnt out, clothes wise, younger girls are not very well catered for. The young dont share their clothes it seems, but worth a look anyway and there always plenty of accessories to see.
I would not recommend them for less confident girls. Despite the more private browsing, you have to be aware that you are dealing directly with someone, when purchasing your items. You also need to remember they are probably not trained staff and there is probaly no equality traing or shop policy either, so you never know what their reaction is going to be.
I was fortnate in the last shop. QqIt took the elderly guy took a long time serving me, making sure everthing was folded etc. Then he handed the me the receipt and said keep this safe, it is very important. I thanked him, turned around and started walking out, when i heard him say, remember the receipt, in case they dont fit you and you have to return them. I nearly cried, i have never felt so accepted in my life.
Love
MichelleI don’t know if thrift stores are different, but I would include them too. Older ladies are more secure. I don’t worry about privacy when browsing, but realize it is important to some.
Fredrika XXX
I unfortunately I know this well, living in a rural environment I have to go to local towns to shop. Every charity I walk into ( in drab) and start browsing the “ladies” sections, I am instantly asked …..can I help you……At that point I walk out, it’s almost as if you are breaking cardinal sins in even looking at “ladies” item. Their loss. Sorry rant over.
Hi Katie
The assistant is probably being honest and asking if you need help.
Either say not yet thanks or have a story ready.
I am looking for something for the wife. I havent bought for her before and if she doesnt like what i get here, then it wont have cost me too much and the charity wins too.Give your sizes and see what she comes up with. Keep an eye out for what you want and add them in. You can then reject their choices at the till.
Actually feelikg the material and seeing the garment, makes a massive difference.
Love
MichelleLove
Michelle
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Hi Michelle.
Yep its hit and miss with thrift stores and I’m glad to hear you had a good experience at the last one. I think by now the personnel all know CD’s shop in thrift stores and depending on the cashier it can go smooth or be embarrassing. It pays to have some quick ready answer in mind if needed and a bit of a thick skin too. I’ve had some disasters dealing with the religious run shops around here so be careful and stand you ground because we are doing nothing illegal.
The old chap was a wise man and proves they do have diversity training. It also proves you aren’t the only girl in the village!
You have now crossed the threshold and have a safe shop to go to. As your confidence grows you will find yourself in the mainstream shops.
Nice to read of your progress.
Hi Angela
I do go to the big names today, m&s, dunnes and primark. They have huge fem sections and being a non fem on your own makes you stick out like a sore thumb. But if i want to achieve my dream, i have to push myself.
The difference between in person and online shopping is huge.
Buying clothes online, can be hit and miss.
You cant feel the material, colours dont always match with online, you cant match with other garments, returns etc and worst of all, once you have picked that slinky number you have spent months looking for, you have to wait to get it.
Love
MichelleDunnes !! Now there’s a memory of Ireland I have. Many moons ago I visited and shopped in the store. It reminded me of an Irish Marks and Spencer as its brand name was St Bernard I think?
Good old fashioned style – get in there Michelle!
I suspect they get plenty of practise! Charity shops are a mecca for the less wealthy CD, especially for accessories. I have a load of belts I’ve bought over the years, and nothing cost more than £2. I’ve never had the nerve to buy clothes, not because of the staff, who probably get that all the time, but because the other customers.
Connie
xxxHi Connie
Grab s few things and have a jokey story ready, like the wife told me to get her an outfit, but what am i suppose to know about clothes.
Or say nothing like i did and if you pop in every now and then i just get a few things,the staff and other customers will soon get used to your face, allowing you to shop at will.
Love
Michelle
Hi Michelle,
I myself have quite a bit of luck with getting clothing (apart from shoes) at secondhand stores. The staff on the otherhand is hit and miss, the mission shops staff seem to have their beliefs and prejudices whereas the profit shops are quite accepting.
Hi I went to asecond hand store lots of clothes I saw 2 young girls about twenty years old so I walked over and said I am a cross dresser and my name is Jenny they did not faint . They said I am Jill and Susan nice to meet you I looked around but did not have a lot of time so you know I will be back
Love.
JennyYes I love it not in the same town whee I live I love to wear stockings I do most days with panties.when I go to the bar I wear thigh high white stockings with rad fishnets over them . I know you are not free to dress 24 / 7 I am had a girlfriend but she accidentally ran into Jenny and is now gone . I now have a cd girlfriend joannie we have slep overs but as you guess not much sleeping chat latter
I do not care one way or the other as far as the staff is concerned in charity/thrift shops. I go in look around and if I find items I like and fit I buy them. Our money is as good as everyone else’s. These type of stores come and go so we can not be fearful of the people working there.
This is beautiful, well the last part. I love charity shops here in the UK but as you said, often the clothes are dated but sometimes its possible to strike lucky. On the whole the staff are ok, maybe the odd frown etc but I can live with that, each to their own. Loved reading this and hope you enjoy further jaunts to the charity shops.
Hi Ashleigh
I am 56 and try to dress like a 38 – 50 year old. Too many girls, dress way too young and unless they have the body or face, it is not a good look.
Current fashion is not yet a concern for me. I am still discovering my style and sizes. So charity shops are ideal for me. My first pair of high heels for £3, I felt like i was robbing the shop.
Love
MichelleCharity shops, love them and what Nicola finds even through the lockdowns – some sheer M&S hosiery – and before some Charnos half slips.
I love charity shops. My wife and I go to more upmarket areas just to brpwse them as up market areas have wealthier people….,Wealthier people have nicer clothes 🙂
We were in one just before christmas, and I asked if I could try a skirt on. The lady behind the counter showed me where the changing room was. I tried the skirt on and it was perfect. When I went to buy it, the lady said “fancy dress party?”. When I replied no, I just like dressing as a woman, she smiled such a warm smile and said “Good on ya. Whatever makes you happy, and in these times, we all need to be happy”. She went on to say that she gets a lot of ment trying on female clothing at this time of year, and they all say it’s for fancy dress…. I told her that christmas, new year and halloween are the crossdressers favourite times of year as it gives us the perfect excuse 🙂
Don’t go in with excuses or stories. Just be open and honest. Don’t even start the conversation. Trust me, in the hundreds of times I’ve tried stuff on in charity, and retail shops, I’ve never had anything but good experiences. I always shop in man mode, and have never had an issue.
Head high and carry on.Cerys
Cerys,
Shopped for both women’s and men’s clothes and took several pieces to changing room of both genders. While I was changing a male associate spoke in a loud voice to another associate” we got a strange one in the dressing room”. Embarrassed I left everything in the changing room and exited the store. Since that time I carry a tape measure to check a items sizing usually at a dollar store. Never a thrift store.
Hi Alice
I absolutely love them. I missed out a word in the op, it should have said not a perfect fit. They are slightly too big, so a half size smaller should do it. I tried 7s already, too small. I can walk in them and need a lot of practice, but its a start.
Wearing them has brought a totally new dimension to my femininity and i cant wait to put them on again.
Love
MichelleHi Lauren
As I havent been able to buy shoes, i am not up to speed with allthe names etc.
I think thet are ankle boots with a stiletto heel. I am waiting for my housemates to leave, so my girlie weekend can continue and i hoping to post a few photos, so you will be able to tell me what they are then.
Love
Michelle
There are a couple of charity thrifts that I frequent on a regular basis, and then some not as regularly. I do tend to avoid shops that support primarily regions organizations.
I love it when after my 2d or 3d visit, the staff remember me from before and call me by name. I do shop them enfemme, as I do the bigger retails also. Being a known repeat has its advantages and makes shopping even a bit fun and friendly.
The biggest shop I go too, there is a GG shopper that I have run into a few times now. We have never exchanged words, but when she sees me in the dress/skirt section, she will come to the same aisle and almost feverishly go through the items like we are on some kind of shopping competition. We do always smile and acknowledge each other, and I do enjoy the competition. Some day I will learn her name, lol.
PaulaF
I loooove thrift stores. For several reasons. I do tend towards less religious and more generic places like Value Village and Talize. There is a funky locally owned place here in the city too.
a. I seem to be slightly less self conscious when looking through the racks in the ladies section. I just casually flipping through stuff, pull the occasional item to try on. Would never do that in a regular shop.
b. you can get really cool-funky stuff
c. for a lot less $ you can make up whole outfits
I think I just talked myself into going on a hunt this weekend!
Charity shops are the main source of clothes for my crossdressing; I’m able to find items I like in large size I want (UK 24). I really enjoy my shopping trips (usually in man-mode).
My only experience of charity shops was when I was about 20 years old and I saw a skirt in the window and I went in to buy it saying it was for my mother who couldn’t get to the shop. My story must have sounded complete BS as the assistant looked at me in a funny way and my face went bright red. After that, I was a confirmed catalogue clothes buyer.
I love the charity/op shops. There are always a lot of interesting items there (and not just the clothes). I have found that either dressed or drab none of the sales people pay any attention. I think they are happy to sell anything to anyone to get the money for their charity. You do get s a few looks from other shoppers, but they just carry on with their shopping too. I have had no problems trying on a dress or skirt in drab mode either.
The other thing is the price is good, and if you do get the courage to try before you buy, at least you know it fits. In my earlier days before i had the courage to try first, i bought many items that were the “right size” on the label only to find that they didn’t fit when i got home. The sizing of women’s clothing is so so variable between brands and even within the brands sometimes.
I have bought plenty of other items there too, books, DVDs, CDs (music ones) etc.
Jane
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I have found really nice clothing at Goodwill stores that are located close to high end neighborhoods. Really nice dresses, sweaters and skirts but no shoes in my size.
Sandy
There was this second hand store down by the beach when I was living in Florida. A single woman owned and ran the store, but it was a good size place and prices were good.
The first time I went in, I must have spent more time just chatting nicely with the owner. She was a delight, and didn’t even sneeze at my confessing I occasionally dressed in feminine attire.
I kept going back, picking up a cute blouse or one time, I got a pair of black, sheer palazzo pants that were dreamy! But I always tried to buy when I went there. Guess that was a plus.
One day when I just walked in the door, the owner came straight over to me kinda excited. She asked if I had ever thought about a wedding dress, as one had come in and, for some reason, she had thought about me! Of course I said I was interested!!! Omg!
Well, it did fit. I happen to have been under dressing that day, for wearing some really sheer. Shiny pantyhose helped wearing this gorgeous wedding dress. I needed heels for it (a little longer), and after helping me put it on and zipped up, she ran out getting me some white 3 inch heels she’d had laying around. I swear I must have walked around her shop with that dress on for 30 minutes.
I figured I better get out of there, so I gulped real hard and asked what would she want for the wedding dress. Would you believe I walked out with that dress for $35.00??? Oh did my girlfriend and I have fun with that for ages!
So, maybe getting to know the folks working at some of these shops, and just being nice, might just land you not just what you would like, but maybe a few surprises?
Love y’all!
Beverly
I have a wonderfully exciting story about a shop I went into once.
It was not a charity shop it was a small lingerie shop this gal was running out of her husbands shoe repair shop. I found it in the Yellow pages, It was in a small town about 20 miles from me so I decided to check it out.
I went there and only saw a sign for the shoe repair store. It was the right address so I went in. I was greeted by this nice lady who asked me if she could help me. Well, I saw the rack of negligees in the corner of the store so I told her I was looking for lingerie. She was happy to take me over and show me all the beautiful gowns she had. I told her how pretty they were. She then took one off the rack and asked me how I liked it. I told her it was very beautiful. I was then shocked when she said to me “Would you like to try it on?”
You have to understand I was there in male mode and I don’t think I was giving off any vibes that I was shopping for myself. I was wearing feminine undergarments but she couldn’t see that. I wasn’t wearing a bra with breast forms or feminine shoes.
I of course was not going to pass up this wonderful experience so I said “Sure!” She took the gown and walked me to a back room which was nothing more than a utility closet with a curtain for a door.
I proceeded to take my clothes off and put the negligee on. I loved it but sadly it was way too big for me. I took it off and started to get dressed when I heard her yell to me not to come out because there was another customer coming into the store.
This really confused me. A minute or so later she came back and walked in on me. I had only gotten as far as putting my full slip back on. She then just asked me how it fit.
If I would have known she wanted me to model it for her I would have been happy to. I finished dressing and took it back out to her and we looked through everything else she had but everything was like extra large and no sense in me trying on anything else.
This experience was like something out of a fairy tale. I left and just couldn’t believe what had just happened. Several months later I decided to go back but sadly she was no longer there.
Honestly at times when I look back at this experience I wonder if it really happened, but I know it did. Hindsight being 20/20 I wish I would have bought that expensive negligee just to remember my experience.
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