- This topic has 26 replies, 18 voices, and was last updated 1 year ago by Charlene LaFlame.
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- December 16, 2021 at 7:34 pm #589958
This is a lonely time of year for her. Everyone is hustling and bustling about-greeting each other with smiles and shopping for Christmas gifts for their friends and family. She has done her shipping for her kids and siblings and extended family and all of those are wrapped and under the tree. They looks so pretty with all the colorful wrapping paper and ribbons tied into bows.
She looks at everything there but sadly none of the presents are addressed to her. There are some addressed to the guy whose life she shares but while those are nice, she longs to just once get something selected just for her- a pretty top, some perfume, or a bit of jewelry. Something to acknowledge her existence and let her know that someone loves her for who she is. Yes-of course she can buy things for herself but somehow it is just not the same. To know that someone cares for her enough to see past the shell she inhabits and see the delicate flower inside.
But sadly, most people don’t seem capable of that vision. All they see is someone who doesn’t fit THEIR vision of what is “normal” and so they avoid her, shun her, or even attack her just of being who she is. How sad that at a time when many are celebrating the birth of One who loves all His children equally, the world has to remind us that the joy and happiness promised in the carol is not for everyone to know.
So she will smile and laugh with the rest of her family as they “ooh and ah” over their gifts and quietlTime-a Lamenty shed a tear inside as she hopes that one day she will be loved as she loves others and maybe just maybe find happiness again!
( reposting from 2015 and 2017)
PS-last year after I told my pool team about Cyn and shared some of my writings including this piece, two of my teammates bought me a lovely bracelet with the inscription “She believed she could so she did” which is now my favorite bracelet. It inspired me to allow Cyn to fully express herself nearly 24/7-everywhere but the office so far-(and that barrier may fall in 2022)and another recent quote I saw says it well-“When you truly don’t care what anyone else thinks of you, you have reached a dangerously awesome level of freedom.”-I’m most of the way there!
Merry Christmas CDH
Cyn - December 16, 2021 at 7:47 pm #589966
Thank you for those wonderful sad words. For me Christmas isn’t what it used to be, for various reasons.
As you said, it would be so lovely to see a small gift, and it does even need to be very expensive, addressed to “Amy”.
Though the very best gift would that wish we all have, complete acceptance in our lives.
Perhaps some day.
Amy
- December 16, 2021 at 7:48 pm #589967
Cyn, I think you are there! I really like that quote! Hugs Pru
- December 16, 2021 at 8:52 pm #589992
Cyn, it is a balancing act. You may be out to your SO, and your SO may be accepting. But there may be others around (children, parents or in-laws, siblings, or other family members) who don’t know of your fem side. Having a present under the tree for your fem self may not be what you really want. Sometimes some people in your life may never be ready. While you may have opened up, not everyone has, and for some relationships, some may never open up.
- December 16, 2021 at 9:51 pm #590033
My apologies if I implied In any way that anyone else’s journey is the same-that was not my intention. I have no SO to be concerned with for now and my siblings and kids and now most friends know about Cyn. But I recognize that not everyone has those circumstances or even necessarily wants them. Just sharing my own journey and feelings
Cyn
- December 16, 2021 at 9:20 pm #590012
Dear Cynthia ,
That is a lovely post !
I wasn’t on CDH yet in 2015 and 2017 so thank you for reposting it !
Love your Pool teammates.Love Sylvia.
- December 16, 2021 at 9:53 pm #590036
You are most welcome! I know there is a lot of material on the site and I wrote a lot in my first two years that I think has some value but may not have been seen by many of our most recent members so I periodically repost some of them. Glad you enjoyed this one!
Cyn- December 17, 2021 at 6:58 am #590131
Dear Cynthia ,
Thank you again for your post.
I´m already looking forward to other posts from you , from the past years ,
so please don´t hesitate to repost them !
Love Sylvia
- December 17, 2021 at 12:06 am #590044
I love that quote – it’s right on!
Merry Christmas, dear.Big Hug and Kiss,
Fredrika - December 17, 2021 at 2:02 am #590057
Lovely words Cynthia. It would appear that the Christmas fairy really does make dreams come true…
- December 17, 2021 at 3:15 am #590085
Thanks Cynthia for posting this again.
Love and hugs from Stephanie - December 17, 2021 at 5:31 am #590112
Beautiful post thankyou for your thoughts and opinions.. I remember your 2017 post and felt memorized when reading it. Opening up to your pool team and others you have certainly opened up your true heart for all to see. We’re very proud and honored having you around and with these wonderful Christmas posts, a gift to all of us. You were my first friend here and will always remembered this . I like many will hope that a small gift will be there from my wife for Stephanie as it’s just to be acknowledged that there’s more to being ourselves.
Merry Christmas Cyn and to all…
Stephanie 🌷 🌷 🌷
- December 17, 2021 at 9:14 am #590171AnonymousLady
Nice post…. thanks for sharing… hope all the girls here have a great holiday
- December 17, 2021 at 9:51 am #590184
Cynthia,
I love the quote “She believed she could so she did” it may be an inspiration for many here at CDH.
Thank you again for reposting a great message.
Merry Christmas to you and a HAPPY and HEALTHY 2022
Fondest regards, Leonara - December 17, 2021 at 11:15 am #590236
Wonderful and truly honest posts from the past Cyn. It now appears that things are looking brighter and 2022 will be the big year for you. May you have a very happy Christmas and prosperous 2022.
- December 17, 2021 at 11:29 am #590257Anonymous
While eyes are for looking ahead, Cyn reminds us that with just a little effort we can turn our heads and try to see the needs of others. If your head is turned , pleased for not ignore that Person who needs your smile, your chat, or your embrace. Cynthia, you have an awesome way of getting into our minds to shake us up, to inspire and to gently persuade. I’m sure we would all like to put another bracelet around you for 2022. It is a bracelet of friendship and we are all a link with you.
Thank you Cynthia. Just thank you. You mean a Lot to us.
Anya ( et al ) Merry Christmas,
Everyone! - December 18, 2021 at 4:08 pm #590682Anonymous
Hi Cyn
I did not have to read through your first paragraph to hit the thanks button for this post
Is would be so nice if I could have a Christmas present that was for Emily
Love to you all
Em
- December 18, 2021 at 7:26 pm #590744
Hi Cynthia thanks for a wonderful repost of a wonderful holiday message it strikes a cord in the heart that brings new meaning to the holiday as needing a simple thing as a small gift of acknowledgement that as a girlfriend a woman a So whichever the case maybe just seeing my name as Stephanie on a gift is a world of thanks that makes my heart so happy knowing that it came from my wife as she is my world as well as all the wonderful girlfriends that are here at CDH .. Merry Christmas to all girls here
Stephanie Bass
- December 18, 2021 at 7:32 pm #590747Anonymous
I was feeling like that today
- December 18, 2021 at 8:42 pm #590759
This evening was our family Christmas Gathering. It was fun having everyone together, and being able to give gifts to those who are most cherished in my life. But one of those gifts is unseen, unnoticed, and unappreciated. That is, the gift of withholding the true self that hides behind the veil of beautifully wrapped presents and providing for the bringing of everyone together. An outside observer might wonder, at seeing all of the decorations, the planning and preparations, where is the woman who has planned and prepared all of this. She is there, but obscured by a false facade, upholding the traditions once served by a mom, but maintained by a “mom incognito”, to continue the family ties and traditions the former abandoned and abrogated. Still it is with love and caring that I give this most precious gift, as the one I truly feel is present, but unseen.
- December 22, 2021 at 5:49 am #592425
That quote at the end is lovely!
- December 23, 2022 at 10:52 pm #703653
You are a compassionate writer. Thank you for an emotional article.
- December 24, 2022 at 7:10 am #703699
Merry Christmas Cyn and just keep on keeping on my dear friend
- January 3, 2023 at 5:16 pm #706468
The story breaks my heart, Before my brother died we bought him some feminine items like a shawl and a few bracelets and such He was so happy to have acceptance. My wife was thrilled and so was he/she. There are such small things we can do to make someone happy. I want to send yoo9u a femine item You o much deserve it.
Love Charlene- January 3, 2023 at 5:57 pm #706476
I still admire you and even more after reading your post. Kisses Charlene
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