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Hey Sweeties,
First of all, I want to tell you that I am German, so if I made any stupid mistakes… Please don’t tell my dad as he’s an English teacher 😂
As you can tell by the title, I’ve been planing to come out to my best female friend to tell her, that I’m a Crossdresser. We’ve been through a lot together, as she’s had a lot of problems in the past, so our relationship is very deep and special. She’s also very open minded, so I don’t worry about her ending our friendship. It would just be great to have some girlstime with her, especially because I’m not ready to dress up in public or something like that. She’s also currently the only person (outside of the internet) that I’d come out to. So I’d ask her not to tell anyone, which she’d of course do. But she’s also my male best friends gf. So it’s a lot to ask, to keep it a secret to him. And she might tell him by accident or he might find out anything about it by cause. She also might think that I don’t like or trust him enough, which isnt true. He’s also very open minded and we’re close, so he wouldn’t end our friendship either. But we also have got a very got man friendship (I don’t know if this word exists in English, I guess it doesn’t, but I think you’ll know what I mean). We’re drinking beer together, we talk about girls, go to the gym and things like that, as I enjoy being a man when I’m not a woman. And Im afraid that this would change. I mean, even if you’re open minded, if you know something like that about a friend, your attitude towards him change, doesn’t it? And that means, that your relationship changes- it could of course also change to the better, you never know. But I think it’s completely normal to worryworry about those things.
So I hope that you can help me with my struggles, as I suppose many of you had similar ones. Plus, I still don’t really have the courage to tell her…😅
Thank you for your support and time 😘❤️
Good morning Lena! The eternal cd girls question… To tell or not to tell, that is the question. Whether ‘tis nobler to suffer in the closet or suffer the pains of others knowing? I hope you find a good answer to this that suits your life, but remember that once you start telling people, the truth is out there. That is not bad and in today’s world will not be a huge factor I have found. The big thing I can see from this is yes your friend may surely find out, but more importantly your asking your bff to keep something from her boyfriend, which could have consequences on her relationship. Be respectful of the fact she has that relationship as well as yours. If they are both your friends they will continue to be your friends. Good luck!
🍷C
Well said Carolyne ! I would totally agree with everything you said.
Sincerely;
Lisa 🙂
I came out to a close lady friend whom I’ve known since I was a teenager and whom I’ve always trusted. She was wonderful about it and even intrigued to a degree. Now I’m very comfortable discussing it with her and I’m so glad I told her. She has even given me some makeup tips. I’m lucky to have her in my life.
Hi lena
If you don’t feel good about coming right out to her, I would suggest that you test the water by bring up the subject in A very suttle way. Like you saw some one at the store that looked like A man dressed like A women but you weren’t sure if it was.Then you could get her feelings about men that crossdress. If her feelings are very negative then back off. It worked for me with my wife who had no problem with it and thought she would enjoy it. I had two girl friends before her that were totally turned off by it so I slowly backed off from them as I didn’t want to hide it and live A lie. Good luck my friend.
Sarasue
If he’s really your friend go hang out with you and go out I lost a lot of my friends to crossdressing but all that really matters is that your happy I go all the time as a girl and I love it I don’t care what anyone else says I’m happy I have friends who go out with me as a girl and don’t care
Hi Lena,
I have come out to male friends, similar to how you describe yours. We did and do “guy” things as you described. However, they’ve not seen me as Lexi, nor have we ever discussed it since then, many years ago. There is an occasional dress or panties joke at my expense, which is perfectly OK with me. But with the guys, I’m a guy and it’s best for all of us that way.
In your situation, it depends on what you mean by coming out. Coming out to your best girl friend, as you’ve described her, shouldn’t be concerning perhaps. Although, keep in mind that she may be fully accepting of Lena, but she may not be on-board with participating in your femme activities. I’m not saying she won’t be, just that you shouldn’t make that assumption before giving her the opportunity to react and express herself.
With your guy friend, you’ve described him as open as well, and he probably will be, in a know it but don’t see it manner. If you move from that into him seeing Lena or you wanting him to see Lena, that may be where it gets weird for him. He may be OK with it, but it’s different than just knowing.
And if your girl friend does assist you, she should be able to mind boundaries you ask her to stay within, including confidentiality.
Good luck and let us know how it goes!
Thank you all for your help 🙂
Lexigurl, you’re exactly right. I’m very sure he’d be absolutely OK with Lena existing but I really don’t know if he’d be OK with me being Lena around him. I mean, if I were in his situation it would be a tough choice I suppose. He’d of course still be my friend, but seeing your best male friend dressed up as a girl, wanting to do girly things with his female bf and your gf? Wow, thats very strange. You want your friend to be happy, but still… I could really understand if he’d say I never want to meet Lena, I’m still your best friend and nothing will change and you can do whatever you want to as Lena, whether it’s with my gf being around you or not, but I won’t. I couldn’t be angry with him about that.
Sarasue, I know that she wants to do her bfs and my make up, she said so several times. And I know she really likes the make up tutorials made by a transsexual (or was it crossdresser? I’m not exactly sure). But I suppose she’d, in a certain way, be happy about me being a crossdresser. But it’s of course always very difficult to predict someone’s reaction in those kind of situations.
But I think it would definitely be the wrong way to tell her but not him the truth. But it’d probably be a good idea to tell her first and then him, maybe together with her
Ever since my SOGGF accidentally discovered me wearing her outfits etc about 3 weeks b4 Halloween serval years and thinking it would an appropriate Punishment 4 me to WEAR NOTHING BUT FEMININE attire 24/7 4 the next 3 weeks thru Halloween, actually would give me a reason and the courage to DRESS FULLY ENFEMM IN PUBLIC since childhood.
Every day there after she would wake me up early to help me dress up fully enfem and do my makeup and hair curled/styled for the day b4 she left 4 work.
Come say after Halloween party, SOGGF didn’t wake me up at 4am as usual. I woke up about 6 AM, she wasn’t in bedroom nor was any outfit laid out for me to wear that day, so I forgetting I was day after Halloween, I decided that I would just pick out my own outfit, and dress them go down to get some breakfast.
When I got to kitchen SOGGF was making breakfast. She said I WAS hoping you would choose to dress fully ENFEMM today, you seemed to really like being Tammie these last 3 weeks, so yesterday I decided to take rest of week off. After we finished our breakfast SOGGF decided we should get me my own makeup and feminine attire including taking me to the SOMA INTIMATES STORE, nearby to get me professionally fitted for my own bras and panties.
SOGGF’S now saying that she really thinks that I look b4 as a woman than a man.
So maybe if your SOGGF is as open minded she might even like to see you fully ENFEMME and would help you present urself better as a woman.
Lena, hi. I had a friend adn we did all the things you spoke of when in our teens and twenties. He never knew i was a cd. 2 summers ago he met me, Julie at a reunion. Today i am his fiance. So you never know.
I have had the great privilege of having two very close female friends whom I told about Caty. They were both very accepting and understanding and one in particular has been a very special “brother/sister” relationship for nigh on 30 years. Its “our 30th” in October this year.
Sadly, she’s in Eastern Canada and I’m in Southern Australia and with both of us in our 70’s long haul travel to see each other, for various reasons, aint on.
But I will always treasure the great times we had together and when either of us had “trubbles”, even tho there were thousands of miles between us, there was always a shoulder for the “trubbled one” to lean on.
Tho back in my work days, she did call my office when someone was trying to sell me something or other. My secretary knew the call was important, so naturally she put the call through.
Ruined the poor blighters presentation to me…. But then I dont think we needed what he was trying to sell anyway….
LOL!!!
I had another close contact over in Western Australia I will go back to her one day… But “things” keep getting in the way
Happy dressing
Caty
Hi ladies,
It does feel good to come out to someone you trust and care for. The results can be mixed, however.
I have a cousin who is three years older than me. She has been more of a sister than a cousin. A few months ago I decided to come out to her. Initially she was quite accepting, but recently I sensed a reluctance from her when I wanted to talk about my feminine side. My cousin and I remain close, but I don’t think she will get anymore calls from Jessica.
Next coming out story was with my closest friend who happens to be a woman. She lives 1000 miles away but I was on a business trip and I had planned to come out to her. I thought about it a lot and felt that this was something I could do and it would not change our friendship.
I decided about a week before my trip that I would not come out to her. My rationale was that why inject a subject that could possibly alter a wonderful friendship. I know I would still have her love and friendship, but why take a chance, at least for now.
Perhaps at some point though, I will come out to her.Hugs and kisses,
Jessica
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