• This topic has 13 replies, 12 voices, and was last updated 1 month ago by Emily.
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  • #397017
    Stevie Steiner
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    Registered On: June 11, 2020
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    Thought I should share an experience that had me scratching my head.  Yesterday I had another “what the hell, why not” moment and dropped by the old restaurant where a few of my old co workers were working to have a beer.  Sitting down with my younger friend – and shes bi – I was saying how we are both part of the community…. though not in the gay or bi category.  Well, sometimes some people are a little slow picking up on this stuff, right?  So I blurted out ” I’m a crossdresser,  I’m back at the TG end of the community “,  sort to speak.  Of course because I have the luck that I do, the old manager and bartender were walking by at the time…. 🙄

    Now the young girl just smiled about it saying shes glad I’m not gay, which I thought odd coming from someone bi ( no, shes waaay to young for that girls ) but doesn’t mention anything else at all.  The other two dropped by and we chatted and caught up without a word or grin or anything about what I had said.  Don’t get me wrong, it was all friendly and all, but I felt like I had lit a firework and nothing happened, just a little fizzle…..

    I know I could have received a warm response – which would have made my heart sing – or a cold response, which would have hurt, but I was prepared for that.  But no response?  Emotionally I did not know what to think about that.  When you finally decide to open up you want to talk about it.  I’m not sure if I had the easiest acceptance ever, or just a simple refusal to acknowledge what I’d said…..  oh well, I still felt good about talking about it there, and it certainly  could have been worse.  Still, you would like to know where you stand with them afterwards, wouldn’t you?

    They sure stared at my much longer hair though!!😅

    Stevie

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    • #397462
      Emily
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      A neutral response is better than a negative one, but it is nice to know for sure where someone stands when you tell them. I have been very selective in who I tell, so all the responses have been positive to this point. Except of course my wife who just doesn’t talk about it after telling me it was just wrong.

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    • #397413
      Amanda Burton
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      Congratulations stevie, no negativity is a great response. Although we plan for everything, and practice our responses, we are always floored by someone who does not  seem to be bothered or ruffled. Maybe it’s  a good sign that it’s no longer a major issue to a lot of people, or the fact many people don’t seem to want to engage the conversation as they don’t know how to approach us on the subject.

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    • #397363
      Emily Alt
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      Registered On: August 24, 2019
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      A boring and uneventful coming out sounds wonderful to me…..!

      Emily

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    • #397329
      Tiff Any
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      Most people that I tell about my fluidity & crossdressing don’t bat an eyelid , usually they’re nicely intrigued & have a few questions. The girls at the beauty college I was at last Saturday ( I had a massage & facial )  were unfazed . 😊😊👗👗

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    • #397263
      Sa•man•tha
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      Registered On: January 21, 2018
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      Right on right on Stevie!!

      Hey, I like crickets.  They’re great for fishing…and they’re still way tastier than a heartfelt negative response

      Disappointing maybe… most people don’t feel the sort of fervor for this stuff that we do, and don’t really know much about it either.  There’s always the chance that in another moment, they’ll be more curious or willing to engage there.

      Success…. congrats Stevie!

       

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    • #397204
      Leslie
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      Registered On: September 14, 2020
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      Stevie frankly that is mostly the reaction I have gotten. I am taking it as a good thing. But congratulations on taking the step to a better life!

      Leslie ❤️

    • #397197
      Bianca Everdene
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      Registered On: April 11, 2017
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      Thanks for sharing Stevie.

      Proud of you. Sounds like you don’t know if the apparent apathy to your revelation is a good or bad thing. I’m ever the optimist, so will look on it as acceptance. Perhaps she wasn’t sure if you wanted to expand on your revelation, perhaps not sure how to process the info. Hope you meet again and you get the opportunity to discuss it.

      Each story like this warms the heart. Another little step towards normalising cross dressing.

      ❤️B

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    • #397088
      Stevie Steiner
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      No Rei, was not in femme mode, but had my hair looking girly, if I do say so, and I always wear a necklace of some sort now.🙂

      Stevie

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    • #397084
      Rei Durden
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      Registered On: October 11, 2020
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      My first thought is that they are super cool with it and that’s the end of it. But yes, if they are friends, some feedback should have been forth coming.

      Not that it matters, but were you fully enfemme when you stopped by? Obviously the goal is not shock and awe but acceptance for your genuine self, but maybe they’re just lousy friends……….we’ve all had those.

      I’m happy you got the courage to be open and honest, and maybe that’s the most  important takeaway?

    • #397077
      Stevie65
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      Maybe they thought it was a joke prank or that they just accept it and figure with todays normalacy it is par for society. Either way congrats

    • #397031
      Ria Freichuk
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      Hi Stevie

      congrats on putting it out there. It is gratifying to hear of people like you willing to do that. I am sure it is affirming.

      Ria

       

    • #397029
      Grace Scarlett
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      Hello Stevie honey

      In the UK we call it sod’s law…

      If you had whispered to a friend and been overheard, the reaction would probably have been…OMG, no!!!!..not you!!!… I would never have guessed!!!

      but because you came straight out with it, maybe you just shocked them into silence, or maybe it went whoosh over their heads….a damp fizzle is a little hard to gauge. It will be interesting to hear of any reaction the next time you meet up….

      Keep rocking Stevie…..grace xx

       

      • #397257
        Sa•man•tha
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        Isn’t that a curious thing…

        People seem to not respond as well, if you behave as tho you’re ashamed or trying to hide

        Which, if someone feels ashamed it seems like they could use some empathy but often get the opposite response

        Maybe that’s where the “sod” part comes in 🤪

        Then, if you’re too bold, some people seem to not appreciate that either…

        Lol, what a minefield!

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