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Hello lovelies
Well…mmmm….ok…a bit of background…Although I get out and about regularly, nobody eIse knows about Grace. I live alone, only immediate family is a brother, who lives in the same town. Although we are close, it’s mainly through text or phone calls, he has his own family and believe me, that’s quite full on. He actually visits me three or four time’s a year. I have workmates and friends who sometimes I invite over for a drink or a meal, but that’s about it. I am and have always been a very private person.
Now I was looking through all my photos the other day and decided I was going to get some printed….yes, have some ” physical” pics to leaf through. I picked out fifty two of my favourites and I am having them put into two A4 albums by photo box….and when I get them delivered, they are going to live on my coffee table…..for all to see!!. Whoever comes round can have a look, at least I will get a face to face reaction, but as it’s only close friends or my brother….I just NEED someone i know…..to know. ( that’s apart from you lovely girls)
I HAVE thought about this for a while, and I have reached a time in my life, where I really don’t care anymore….a real WTF moment if you like…….so am I being stupid, what do you think girls????
huggs, grace💋💋
Mmmmm on paper it sounds fantastic Grace.
I totally get that you want to be out and free my darling, but I would add a little caution in here, maybe you should start with a conversation with your brother first, and explain everything to him.
Small steps sweetie, closest friends next, now this is the part where some drop away. Last workmates, but if your going to tell them you should tell management too.
Maybe after a conversation you could show them you album. It’s a bold risk sweetie, and you may get hurt, I pray you don’t, I hope everything goes well.
One thing if you need me, you know I am here sweetie, remember that Grace,my darling please. ❤️u. Just be careful.
Hi Grace
I would agree with Amanda’s sentiments: Once you’ve got over the first major hurdle, which is yourself, it’s tempting to just push yourself on unsuspecting people around you.
The amount of patience required to educate those closest to us should not be underestimated, and caution should be exercised.
Fortune is said to favour the brave, but is probably not so keen on the reckless!
Having never taken that bold step, but being in the same position, where I would love to just let everyone know and be done with the silliness of pretending to be something I’m not, I can only applaud your determination to do this, and would fully support every move you felt was right for you.
We all have our own journeys and stories, and there is no one size fits all.
Do your own thing, be sensitive to others – and enjoy the experience as much as you can – focus on the positives and keep your humour!
I feel like a raft of cliches – but it’s said that cliches are cliches because they work 😊
Love Laura
Hey there I completely see where your coming from with this one, If you live alone and slightly reclused in your home as it seems to me you’re saying, opening up your doors at times to let people into your world,I do have to wander how much of this is enhanced for you by your dressing, I know most on here would put of most things for that free time to dress and how much is just preference of your own.
The fact is you want to come out to the people in your life you choose to have close to you and to be honest this is a bold move to some, but will be liberating for you to feel your not hiding or deceiving the people around you.
Your single with no need to hide in your home and you are in a much better place than most to live your life how you chose, Male friends and your brother may not get it but to be fair most will not mind what you do, Female friends well if they look at themselves as a friend and no more will probably love the fact you came out to them, From what I have seen it’s mostly our Wives and partners that have a problem with us dressing duo to feeling deceived in a relationship and not able to see the man they married anymore.
Most People in my life know I dress now most I chose to tell, others found out through someone I told that fell out with me, One person I told thought it was there right to tell my sister of all people so when I came out to her she said “oh I have none for years so and so told me, I wasn’t sure if it was true or not till now tho why didn’t you tell me sooner.
But I have always thought the best way of telling someone is showing them a picture or two or three lol, I always feel If you don’t do this then who you tell is left to their own image of what you look like and this in my case did lead to some sniggers and name calling behind my back (some of my family are grate lol)
The Idea you want to be open in this way is great, tho I can see you bolting at the last minute moving it out the way or it not being opened by your guest, You could always have your picture on the cover or put a picture on the wall,
Ending note If the pics in your album are half as good as the ones you have on here there is no shame in showing the world, I’m sure the people who are lucky enough to see your album will accept this part of you without a hitch, Good on you and good luck xxx
Wow…thank you Claire.x
Grace,
You are NOT being stupid! I think it is a wonderful idea! You have found a very creative way of telling and showing people and I think that it will work!
Next time that I am in your neighborhood, I want to see your album and your makeup collection!
Hugs,
Kay
I think it’s a wonderful idea Grace.
As you know, I recently came out to my wife, and the feeling and excitement of having someone else close to me, know, and even better support me, is indescribable, the only thing is, as I’m sure you know, I was lucky, but the reactions could go either way.
Hugs, RegineHey Grace!! Not stupid at all, kind of bloody brilliant actually. Firstly, it’s a great Idea for a coffee table book, it’s something you can move – if you choose! – and you control who sees it first and how they see it. Hon, I know that feeling of needing someone to know about the Real Me. It starts eating at you. Choose your first “subject” wisely and talk a bit leading up to it – it’s a bombshell for all involved remember. It’s a big step, but I think the worlds a better place with Grace, and if she needs to breath fresh air let her!
….. can I order some 8×10 glossys anytime soon?😉😁
Stevie
Stevie honey
I would have expected nothing less from you…thanks…of course I can send you prints…flattered, grace x
Hi Grace! far to insensitive to just pop a couple of photo albums on the table irrespective of how beautiful they are and wait for the outcome, because you would then have to prepare the scene. None of us can possibly know how firm the ground is that you are walking on so please step with caution. you say, like me you enjoy the private life , you may not have any! if this backfires, on the other hand a door may open and you find another lost piece of the jigsaw puzzle of life. I was just wondering if you making up a collage of mixed size pics in a frame under glass and hanging it on a wall to allow it to be found by anyone visiting. It is then at there discretion whether it is brought into the conversation. You then have control of the discussion and in the direction it may travel and the albums are on standby for another day. I hope I haven’t caused any offence or upset. PY xx
Py….you upset me…I don’t think so!!
..the reason for the post was to get your advice, no matter what, to help me decide.
Huggs heading north to you and your lovely wife
grace xx
I think it can be absolutely the right way for you to come out slowly and carefully. The people who will see your piccy’s will be the ones you choose to see them. This puts you in control on who learns more about you than before, but you can only control the flow of information as far as your front door. Beyond that will be determined by how they handle your truth.
It is sort of like saying to them, “Okay. Here is something very private and special to me and as a close friend/family, I am showing it to you and letting you know something very important.” Please make sure they know that YOU want to be the one telling anyone else and to please be human and trustworthy enough to not spread rumors or gossip. Make sure they understand what they learn and see is between the both of you.
This is an awesome way to do this, for sure. I wish you great success with it, and please girl, keep us informed on how it is going. Good Luck hon!
PaulaF
Grace
Your not stupid in the least! So knock that off Girl!! LOL!! 😉❤️
So far you’ve struck me as the woman whose going to go thru life one way…The Grace Way!!
You gotta do it your way Sweetie!
I will say though, it sounds like in ways Grace doesn’t wanna be so private and cooped up anymore…hmmm? Maybe?
XO – Robyn 🤗❤️
Just an update
Late Saturday afternoon my albums came….wow, modesty really does stop me going on about them, but to say grace is a happy girl….golly….and they are in a special place on my coffee table. Who knows, they could sit there months undiscovered????
I want to thank you ALL….your wonderful replies have been amazing and I value them all. I have not replied to all of them ( nothing worse than a ” ten minute scroll to the bottom” post)…..I adore the way you gorgeous girls all dive in and give your opinions, isn’t that why CDH really is so wonderful…..you really are never too old to learn.
I love you all, grace ❤️💋❤️
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Thank God you did an update Grace I was worried that perhaps you were beginning to talk to your furniture.Good luck sweetie xx
This is always the biggie – Telling someone and how to do it. I am amazed that there hasn’t been an advice manual written on this matter.
It seems you are very comfortable in yourself and quite confident. You look great too.
It is a minefield and I have come out in many ways. I am in a similar situation to you being single and have my own place. My first was family. Now these are people we should know well and there thoughts and prejudices. Now family are generally okay and the reactions could vary from okay but I don’t want to see it to I really don’t want to know. I am surprised that you feel you can’t just tell your brother and see where it goes.
Work colleagues is an another avenue to explore. Again I have done this. You didn’t say if it was male or female colleagues that you invite over.Female colleagues are the obvious. If you have been there a long time and been quite close how well do you know them? Conversations are pretty good in judging peoples attitudes. Guide conversation and drop veiled hints. If there is someone that you feel can be sympathetic then go for it. This could be an ice breaker too. I confided in one colleague in confidence of course. I knew in my mind that she would be bursting with this revelation.She did tell a few others and I was comfortable with that as I knew them well and knew she would. A girl can’t avoid chatting. Such was the result that I had a close circle of work colleagues to meet up with. No one else knew so a good result.
The coffee table ruse is quite a good one but could be flawed. Your brother would know about any relationships you have had and suddenly seeing a picture of a woman on the coffee table would be a bit difficult. He could take it in and say absolutely nothing. Awkward maybe. What if he came with his wife? He could ask who this woman and, yes, the deed will be done. As for any others the same would apply.
It is an individual thing for you to decide the best way to do this and each is fraught with the same issues of reactions. It isn’t easy but be prepared. The important thing is that you are strong enough to deal with the reactions.
When I came out to family it went well and I was blessed with their support. One sister was a bit iffy but over time is okay with it and I respected her conditions.
When I first told a colleague I arranged to meet her for coffee, as we did occasionally. I had sounded her out and had the photo album ready. I had warned her that I wanted to talk about something personal. I got the photo’s ready then had a blood rush. I got dressed and went in full on! I got to the place and she was standing by the door. She was looking around and even looked straight at me. She was texting me and I replied I am standing next to you! She looked over and gave a gasp then a big hug.
The rest is history and perhaps being straight and honest could be the way.
Whatever you do I wish you luck.
Thank you so much Angie, for the beautiful reply, the advice…..and the compliments.
…huggs, grace 💋
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Well Stephanie you and I must be buying the wrong furniture sweetie. I sit in front my bookcase, never said a bloody word since I moved in. I knew that mirror Grace bought would cause trouble.Hi Sweetheart
What a good idea you can choose who you would like to notice them. It is also nice for you to see how good you look, go for it sweetheart your a lovely person.
Love Sarah xx
No Grace; Your not love.
I believe everyone has those points in their life where revealing things or doing things they want their own way becomes a priority and a I don’t give a fuck point in their lives. I know I began mine several years ago. And I’m sure you have good reason for beginning yours. The time for compromising yourself comes to an end when you decide it does. If someone is going to get surprised or upset then that’s their issue.
Be your genuine self. Live your life for you and be happy.
💖💖💖Hi Angela
An excellent posting thank you for sharing it, you made some excellent points. Glad to hear when you came out your family were supportive, your friend is one in a million, its really nice to hear positive stories.
Love Sarah xx
Wow I had no idea! I haven’t been here too long and hadn’t read this thread yet. I have read a bunch of your other posts, that put together with your profile pic gave me the impression of a girl full of energy that bounces around town being life of the party wherever she goes. I still believe that’s who you are, I’m just surprised you’re not sharing it with the world and yourself. You really should cuz youre entertaining as hell girl!
Grace,
NO! You are not being stupid. I feel that this is a very good idea. Although my wife and my co workers know I am Lexie, I wish I could actually go out as Lexie, that is shopping and the like.
I truly love being Lexie! She so much better as a person that my male side is.
Thank you Gen…. beautifully put and sooo well written….I WILL be wary, don’t worry….love, grace x
Thank goodness Steph…I thought it was just me….mind you, my bookcase can get really bitchy!!!
Smiles, grace x
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