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  • #406358
    Grace Scarlett
    Participant
    Registered On: July 26, 2020
    Topics: 46
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    Hello lovelies

    Well…mmmm….ok…a bit of background…Although I get out and about regularly, nobody eIse knows about Grace. I live alone, only immediate family is a brother, who lives in the same town. Although we are close, it’s mainly through text or phone calls, he has his own family and believe me, that’s quite full on. He actually visits me three or four time’s a year. I have workmates and friends who sometimes I invite over for a drink or a meal, but that’s about it. I am and have always been a very private person.

    Now I was looking through all my photos the other day and decided I was going to get some printed….yes, have some ” physical” pics to leaf through. I picked out fifty two of my favourites and I am having them put into two A4 albums by photo box….and when I get them delivered, they are going to live on my coffee table…..for all to see!!. Whoever comes round can have a look, at least I will get a face to face reaction, but as it’s only close friends or my brother….I just NEED someone i know…..to know. ( that’s apart from you lovely girls)

    I HAVE thought about this for a while, and I have reached a time in my life, where I really don’t care anymore….a real WTF moment if you like…….so am I being stupid, what do you think girls????

    huggs, grace💋💋

Viewing 26 reply threads
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    • #411446
      Dala Carlian
      Duchess
      Registered On: March 4, 2020
      Topics: 3
      Replies: 110
      Has thanked: 219 times
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      Go for it! When you know you’re ready…you’re ready! When you reach the point of “WTF” or “Screw it” as I did, you just want to be YOU…
      Again, GO for it!!
      Hugs,
      Dala

      3 users thanked author for this post.
    • #411373
      Bridgette VonSmirff
      Lady
      Registered On: October 18, 2020
      Topics: 13
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      I absolutely love your idea. I’m only out to my wife. She’s not ready for Bridgette to be out to anyone else yet, and neither am I, but I think you’re really brave and clever. I always enjoy reading your posts, too.

      3 users thanked author for this post.
    • #411314
      Lexie Trask
      Princess
      Registered On: August 9, 2020
      Topics: 7
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      Grace,

      NO! You are not being stupid. I feel that this is a very good idea. Although my wife and my co workers know I am Lexie, I wish I could actually go out as Lexie, that is shopping and the like.

      I truly love being Lexie! She so much better as a person that my male side is.

      4 users thanked author for this post.
    • #411294
      Cindy Lou
      Baroness - Annual
      Registered On: November 18, 2020
      Topics: 9
      Replies: 412
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      Wow I had no idea! I haven’t been here too long and hadn’t read this thread yet. I have read a bunch of your other posts, that put together with your profile pic gave me the impression of a girl full of energy that bounces around town being life of the party wherever she goes. I still believe that’s who you are, I’m just surprised you’re not sharing it with the world and yourself. You really should cuz youre entertaining as hell girl!

      5 users thanked author for this post.
    • #407299
      Sarah Du Hessisse
      Lady
      Registered On: September 16, 2020
      Topics: 9
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      Hi Angela

      An excellent posting thank you for sharing it, you made some excellent points. Glad to hear when you came out your family were supportive, your friend is one in a million, its really nice to hear positive stories.

      Love Sarah xx

      3 users thanked author for this post.
    • #407025
      Phoebe Smyth
      Lady
      Registered On: February 2, 2020
      Topics: 1
      Replies: 140
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      No Grace; Your not love.
      I believe everyone has those points in their life where revealing things or doing things they want their own way becomes a priority and a I don’t give a fuck point in their lives. I know I began mine several years ago. And I’m sure you have good reason for beginning yours. The time for compromising yourself comes to an end when you decide it does. If someone is going to get surprised or upset then that’s their issue.
      Be your genuine self. Live your life for you and be happy.
      💖💖💖

      4 users thanked author for this post.
    • #407020
      Sandy Jayson
      Duchess
      Registered On: September 29, 2019
      Topics: 16
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      Angela, sorry I am in tears at this moment.  I’m so happy for you and the acceptance you found with your co-worker.  Just another example of what we all need here.  Another example of positive an experience.

       

       

      Sandy

    • #406957
      Sarah Du Hessisse
      Lady
      Registered On: September 16, 2020
      Topics: 9
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      Hi Sweetheart

      What a good idea you can choose  who you would like to notice them. It is also nice for you to see how good you look, go for it sweetheart your a lovely person.

      Love Sarah xx

      5 users thanked author for this post.
    • #406842
      Amanda Burton
      Baroness - Annual
      Registered On: January 15, 2020
      Topics: 17
      Replies: 812
      Has thanked: 6509 times
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      I have found that talking to the furniture doesn’t help much – you just get back the answers you want to hear.

      Well Stephanie you and I must be buying the wrong furniture sweetie. I sit in front my bookcase, never said a bloody word since I moved in. I knew that mirror Grace bought would cause trouble.

      4 users thanked author for this post.
    • #406806
      stephanie plumb
      Baroness - Annual
      Registered On: November 17, 2018
      Topics: 116
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      Hi Grace,

      Here she goes again! you might be thinking.  Stephanie goes on about the “pink fog” all the time.  So I won’t mention it again.

      Your idea has may merits, as many girls have pointed out, and you have given it a great deal of thought. Just be sure though that your thought processes are not being steered by the …  you know what.   You dress everyday so your immersion in the …  you know what ….  is very deep, and might affect your judgement.

      So, before you leap, just ask yourself the question.  And please remember ; once you have let the ferret out of the sack she ‘aint going back in again.

      But you are such a genuine and sweet girl that I can’t imagine that you will have any negative reactions at all.  Some might be relieved that you have come out at last.

      Stephanie P  😊 💖

    • #406795
      Angela Booth
      Lady
      Registered On: August 1, 2020
      Topics: 1
      Replies: 36
      Has thanked: 25 times
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      This is always the biggie – Telling someone and how to do it. I am amazed that there hasn’t been an advice manual written on this matter.

      It seems you are very comfortable in yourself and quite confident. You look great too.

      It is a minefield and I have come out in many ways. I am in a similar situation to you being single and have my own place. My first was family. Now these are people we should know well and there thoughts and prejudices. Now family are generally okay and the reactions could vary from okay but I don’t want to see it to I really don’t want to know. I am surprised that you feel you can’t just tell your brother and see where it goes.

      Work colleagues is an another avenue to explore. Again I have done this. You didn’t say if it was male or female colleagues that you invite over.Female colleagues are the obvious. If you have been there a long time and been quite close how well do you know them? Conversations are pretty good in judging peoples attitudes. Guide conversation and drop veiled hints. If there is someone that you feel can be sympathetic then go for it. This could be an ice breaker too. I confided in one colleague in confidence of course. I knew in my mind that she would be bursting with this revelation.She did tell a few others and I was comfortable with that as I knew them well and knew she would. A girl can’t avoid chatting. Such was the result that I had a close circle of work colleagues to meet up with. No one else knew so a good result.

      The coffee table ruse is quite a good one but could be flawed. Your brother would know about any relationships you have had and suddenly seeing a picture of a woman on the coffee table would be a bit difficult. He could take it in and say absolutely nothing. Awkward maybe. What if he came with his wife?  He could ask who this woman and, yes, the deed will be done. As for any others the same would apply.

      It is an individual thing for you to decide the best way to do this and each is fraught with the same issues of reactions. It isn’t easy but be prepared. The important thing is that you are strong enough to deal with the reactions.

      When I came out to family it went well and I was blessed with their support. One sister was a bit iffy but over time is okay with it and I respected her conditions.

      When I first told a colleague I arranged to meet her for coffee, as we did occasionally. I had sounded her out and had the photo album ready. I had warned her that I wanted to talk about something personal. I got the photo’s ready then had a blood rush. I got dressed and went in full on! I got to the place and she was standing by the door. She was looking around and even looked straight at me. She was texting me and I replied I am standing next to you! She looked over and gave a gasp then a big hug.

      The rest is history and perhaps being straight and honest could be the way.

      Whatever you do I wish you luck.

       

       

       

      • #407117
        Grace Scarlett
        Baroness - Annual
        Registered On: July 26, 2020
        Topics: 46
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        Thank you so much Angie, for the beautiful reply, the advice…..and the compliments.

        …huggs, grace 💋

        1 user thanked author for this post.
    • #406778
      Amanda Burton
      Baroness - Annual
      Registered On: January 15, 2020
      Topics: 17
      Replies: 812
      Has thanked: 6509 times
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      Just an update

      Late Saturday afternoon my albums came….wow, modesty really does stop me going on about them, but to say grace is a happy girl….golly….and they are in a special place on my coffee table. Who knows, they could sit there months undiscovered????

      I want to thank you ALL….your wonderful replies have been amazing and I value them all. I have not replied to all of them ( nothing worse than a ” ten minute scroll to the bottom” post)…..I adore the way you gorgeous girls all dive in and give your opinions, isn’t that why CDH really is so wonderful…..you really are never too old to learn.

      I love you all, grace ❤️💋❤️

      Thank God you did an update Grace I was worried that perhaps you were beginning to talk to your furniture.

      Good luck sweetie xx

      3 users thanked author for this post.
      • #406800
        stephanie plumb
        Baroness - Annual
        Registered On: November 17, 2018
        Topics: 116
        Replies: 1312
        Has thanked: 1912 times
        Been thanked: 5656 times

        I have found that talking to the furniture doesn’t help much – you just get back the answers you want to hear.

        • #406824
          Grace Scarlett
          Baroness - Annual
          Registered On: July 26, 2020
          Topics: 46
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          Thank goodness Steph…I thought it was just me….mind you, my bookcase can get really bitchy!!!

          Smiles, grace x

          3 users thanked author for this post.
    • #406738
      Grace Scarlett
      Baroness - Annual
      Registered On: July 26, 2020
      Topics: 46
      Replies: 1304
      Has thanked: 6307 times
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      Just an update

      Late Saturday afternoon my albums came….wow, modesty really does stop me going on about them, but to say grace is a happy girl….golly….and they are in a special place on my coffee table. Who knows, they could sit there months undiscovered????

      I want to thank you ALL….your wonderful replies have been amazing and I value them all. I have not replied to all of them ( nothing worse than a ” ten minute scroll to the bottom” post)…..I adore the way you gorgeous girls all dive in and give your opinions, isn’t that why CDH really is so wonderful…..you really are never too old to learn.

      I love you all, grace ❤️💋❤️

    • #406734
      Bianca Everdene
      Lady
      Registered On: April 11, 2017
      Topics: 18
      Replies: 635
      Has thanked: 2380 times
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      Great idea Grace, you can ask

      ‘can you guess who this is?’

      a great game, and conversation starter!

      ❤️B

      6 users thanked author for this post.
    • #406705
      Rei Durden
      Baroness - Annual
      Registered On: October 11, 2020
      Topics: 19
      Replies: 791
      Has thanked: 4885 times
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      I don’t think that’s stupid at all Grace, in fact I think I thinks it’s mighty creative.
      There’s no rule book here, so if you want to share in a way that allows you a level of comfort, by all means.

      5 users thanked author for this post.
    • #406704
      Genevïéve
      Lady
      Registered On: July 28, 2020
      Topics: 8
      Replies: 500
      Has thanked: 4869 times
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      Grace… sweetie, wanting to share yourself with others is not ‘stupid’. You l❤ve yourself for who you are. Having the desire for someone else to l❤ve ‘Grace’ also, is wonderful.

      However, as a few of the other girls have mentioned… please, please, be careful dear. We don’t want to see such a beautiful soul get hurt. We all know how cruel some peeps can be… 😢

      Possibly start off by telling one person and sharing your ‘photo journey’ with that ‘one’ special person you hold dear to you. Do you have a close GG friend that you could introduce Grace to? Many GG’s are kind and compassionate (not saying GB’s aren’t but…), and would probably be more understanding of ‘Grace’.

      I understand the desire to share your feminine side with others… I’ve told my ex/wife and stepdaughter about Genevïéve… I could no longer keep her a secret. Both were kind and very understanding of my desire to be ‘Gen’.

      The idea of a photo journey of Grace is a wonderful idea… but laying in the open on your coffee table may not be the best thing to do. Your trust may get betrayed… 😢

      Whomever you do let into Grace’s life, I hope they treat her with the utmost kindness and respect… ❤

      Huggs…

      Gen… 💋

      6 users thanked author for this post.
      • #406736
        Grace Scarlett
        Baroness - Annual
        Registered On: July 26, 2020
        Topics: 46
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        Has thanked: 6307 times
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        Thank you Gen…. beautifully put and sooo well written….I WILL be wary, don’t worry….love, grace x

        2 users thanked author for this post.
    • #406677
      Robyn Devine
      Duchess
      Registered On: October 24, 2020
      Topics: 13
      Replies: 515
      Has thanked: 1608 times
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      Grace

      Your not stupid in the least!  So knock that off Girl!!  LOL!! 😉❤️

      So far you’ve struck me as the woman whose going to go thru life one way…The Grace Way!!

      You gotta do it your way Sweetie!

      I will say though, it sounds like in ways Grace doesn’t wanna be so private and cooped up anymore…hmmm?  Maybe?

      XO – Robyn 🤗❤️

      6 users thanked author for this post.
    • #406654
      Leslie
      Lady
      Registered On: September 14, 2020
      Topics: 12
      Replies: 103
      Has thanked: 653 times
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      Grace,

      First off I would love to see some of those pictures also. You are already such an important part of my life.
      I like your idea if only for yourself to enjoy. But be careful in who and how you share!

      Leslie❤️

      6 users thanked author for this post.
    • #406623
      Paula F
      Duchess
      Registered On: August 7, 2019
      Topics: 12
      Replies: 788
      Has thanked: 5422 times
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      I think it can be absolutely the right way for you to come out slowly and carefully.  The people who will see your piccy’s will be the ones you choose to see them.  This puts you in control on who learns more about you than before, but you can only control the flow of information as far as your front door.  Beyond that will be determined by how they handle your truth.

      It is sort of like saying to them, “Okay.  Here is something very private and special to me and as a close friend/family, I am showing it to you and letting you know something very important.”  Please make sure they know that YOU want to be the one telling anyone else and to please be human and trustworthy enough to not spread rumors or gossip.  Make sure they understand what they learn and see is between the both of you.

      This is an awesome way to do this, for sure.  I wish you great success with it, and please girl, keep us informed on how it is going.  Good Luck hon!

      PaulaF

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    • #406609
      Jill Sweet
      Lady
      Registered On: November 2, 2020
      Topics: 4
      Replies: 68
      Has thanked: 99 times
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      Hi Grace

      I think this is wonderful and I feel the same way though my SO knows and is supportive. I am taking steps forward  to let more people know I am feeling good about being jill. I hope you feel great about being Grace, you seem wonderful and quite the woman.

      Sweet pink kisses

      jill

      4 users thanked author for this post.
    • #406606
      PY Marshall
      Duchess
      Registered On: July 21, 2018
      Topics: 1
      Replies: 272
      Has thanked: 1181 times
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      Hi Grace!  far to insensitive to just pop a couple of photo albums on the table irrespective of how beautiful they are and wait for the outcome, because you would then have to prepare the scene. None of us can possibly know how firm the ground is that you are walking on so please step with caution. you say, like me you enjoy the private life , you may not have any! if this backfires, on the other hand a door may open and you find another lost piece of the jigsaw puzzle of life. I was just wondering if you making up a collage of mixed size pics in a frame  under glass and hanging it on a wall to allow it to be found by anyone visiting. It is then at there discretion whether it is brought into the conversation. You then have control of the discussion and in the direction it may travel and  the albums are on standby for another day. I hope I haven’t caused any offence or upset. PY xx

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      • #406737
        Grace Scarlett
        Baroness - Annual
        Registered On: July 26, 2020
        Topics: 46
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        Py….you upset me…I don’t think so!!

        ..the reason for the post was to get your advice, no matter what, to help me decide.

        Huggs heading north to you and your lovely wife

        grace xx

        3 users thanked author for this post.
    • #406396
      Stevie Steiner
      Ambassador
      Registered On: June 11, 2020
      Topics: 35
      Replies: 771
      Has thanked: 3788 times
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      Hey Grace!!  Not stupid at all, kind of bloody brilliant actually.  Firstly, it’s a great Idea for a coffee table book, it’s something  you can move – if you choose! – and you control who sees it first and how they see it.  Hon, I know that feeling of needing someone to know about the Real Me.  It starts eating at you.   Choose your first “subject” wisely and talk a bit leading up to it – it’s a bombshell for all involved remember.  It’s a big step, but I think the worlds a better place with Grace, and if she needs to breath fresh air let her!

      ….. can I order some 8×10 glossys anytime soon?😉😁

      Stevie

      8 users thanked author for this post.
      • #406399
        Grace Scarlett
        Baroness - Annual
        Registered On: July 26, 2020
        Topics: 46
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        Has thanked: 6307 times
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        Stevie honey

        I would have expected nothing less from you…thanks…of course I can send you prints…flattered, grace x

        6 users thanked author for this post.
    • #406395
      Regine Rich
      Princess
      Registered On: October 9, 2020
      Topics: 20
      Replies: 525
      Has thanked: 5419 times
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      I think it’s a wonderful idea Grace.
      As you know, I recently came out to my wife, and the feeling and excitement of having someone else close to me, know, and even better support me, is indescribable, the only thing is, as I’m sure you know, I was lucky, but the reactions could go either way.
      Hugs, Regine

    • #406389
      Anonymous
      Registered On:
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      Grace,

      You are NOT being stupid! I think it is a wonderful idea! You have found a  very creative way of telling and showing people and I think that it will work!

      Next time that I am in your neighborhood, I want to see your album and your makeup collection!

      Hugs,

      Kay

    • #406388
      Anonymous
      Registered On:
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      Hey there I completely see where your coming from with this one, If you live alone and slightly reclused in your home as it seems to me you’re saying, opening up your doors at times to let people into your world,I do have to wander how much of this is enhanced for you by your dressing, I know most on here would put of most things for that free time to dress and how much is just preference of your own.

      The fact is you want to come out to the people in your life you choose to have close to you and to be honest this is a bold move to some, but will be liberating for you to feel your not hiding or deceiving the people around you.

      Your single with no need to hide in your home and you are in a much better place than most to live your life how you chose, Male friends and your brother may not get it but to be fair most will not mind what you do, Female friends well if they look at themselves as a friend and no more will probably love the fact you came out to them, From what I have seen it’s mostly our Wives and partners that have a problem with us dressing duo to feeling deceived in a relationship and not able to see the man they married anymore.

      Most People in my life know I dress now most I chose to tell, others found out through someone I told that fell out with me, One person I told thought it was there right to tell my sister of all people so when I came out to her she said “oh I have none for years so and so told me, I wasn’t sure if it was true or not till now tho why didn’t you tell me sooner.

      But I have always thought the best way of telling someone is showing them a picture or two or three lol, I always feel If you don’t do this then who you tell is left to their own image of what you look like and this in my case did lead to some sniggers and name calling behind my back (some of my family are grate lol)

      The Idea you want to be open in this way is great, tho I can see you bolting at the last minute moving it out the way or it not being opened by your guest, You could always have your picture on the cover or put a picture on the wall,

      Ending note If the pics in your album are half as good as the ones you have on here there is no shame in showing the world, I’m sure the people who are lucky enough to see your album will accept this part of you without a hitch, Good on you and good luck  xxx

       

       

       

       

      • #406400
        Grace Scarlett
        Baroness - Annual
        Registered On: July 26, 2020
        Topics: 46
        Replies: 1304
        Has thanked: 6307 times
        Been thanked: 7421 times

        Wow…thank you Claire.x

        4 users thanked author for this post.
    • #406371
      Laura Lovett
      Lady
      Registered On: March 26, 2020
      Topics: 12
      Replies: 757
      Has thanked: 2425 times
      Been thanked: 3681 times

      Hi Grace

      I would agree with Amanda’s sentiments: Once you’ve got over the first major hurdle, which is yourself, it’s tempting to just push yourself on unsuspecting people around you.

      The amount of patience required to educate those closest to us should not be underestimated, and caution should be exercised.

      Fortune is said to favour the brave, but is probably not so keen on the reckless!

      Having never taken that bold step, but being in the same position, where I would love to just let everyone know and be done with the silliness of pretending to be something I’m not, I can only applaud your determination to do this, and would fully support every move you felt was right for you.

      We all have our own journeys and stories, and there is no one size fits all.

      Do your own thing, be sensitive to others – and enjoy the experience as much as you can – focus on the positives and keep your humour!

      I feel like a raft of cliches – but it’s said that cliches are cliches because they work 😊

      Love Laura

       

    • #406361
      Amanda Burton
      Baroness - Annual
      Registered On: January 15, 2020
      Topics: 17
      Replies: 812
      Has thanked: 6509 times
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      Mmmmm on paper it sounds fantastic Grace.

      I totally get that you want to be out and free my darling, but I would add a little caution in here, maybe you should start with a conversation with your brother first, and explain everything to him.

      Small steps sweetie, closest friends next, now this is the part where some drop away. Last workmates, but if your going to tell them you should tell management too.

      Maybe after a conversation you could show them you album. It’s a  bold risk sweetie, and you may get hurt, I pray you don’t, I hope everything goes well.

      One thing if you need me, you know I am here sweetie, remember that Grace,my darling please. ❤️u. Just be careful.

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