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(Tries to insert a pic…)Hi Ladies!
What hobbies and interests do you share with your male self?
“We”, my female and male selves, Jules and John (we’ll call him that for convenience here, as I hate mashing pronouns. And besides, it’s only a half lie) basically share only one common interest or hobby. How about you?
We look at our life(s) as basically two (for purposes of this chat) Ven diagrams. One is our essence of male and female, our feeling of gender. For us now the total male and female circles are almost the same, with the common area being quite large. By this I mean for any part of a day Jules is not dressed, we “feel” equal amounts of male and female with respect to gender. Of course when Jules spreads her wings she is totally in the female circle. Conversely, the same for “John” when he is doing his thing.
Then there are times when we are in the middle common area, a place in time where both Jules and John female and male essence are present. At those times we talk, debate, and have gratitude for our separate yet common parts.
The other Ven Diagram would be of time, time actually physically spent in either our “essences”. Sadly, like many of you, the circle representing time dressed, time completely in the female essence is much smaller than “John‘a” circle. This of course is driven by life, family, friends and acquaintances who don’t know of Jules, etc. But that’s ok, as life is a compromise, right?
And that common area of the “time” diagram. Actually it is quite large as I underdress, etc. Many times as pilot John straps himself into his ultralight for a flight, he is wearing a pair of beautiful lace pink panties under his flight suit… LOL He used to worry, “What if I crash, what if the medics “find out”? Will they laugh and let me die? Seriously, that crap used to permeate my thoughts. But no longer, as ladies, life is simply too short for that! Besides, it would give them a funny story back at the station house.
John loves sailing, flying, chess, sports (although even he is moving away from the violent ones), writing, bike riding, biking, kayaking, windsurfing, blah, and blah blah…
Jules? The only one of those she loves or even likes is sailing. And oh, she’s one of those damn “luffers” (those sailors who either don’t know how to sail a boat properly, or are just to lazy to do it.) When “John” sails (we now share a little Balbo 20’ with an older woman, the original owner) he sails fast and efficiently. Jules on the other hand? Well sails are luffing and poorly trimmed, as long as the sun is on her face she is happy and content. The other hobbies and interests shared – zero, nada, none…☺️
Jules interest? Anything girly; makeup, clothes, romance novels, etc.
Now we have grandkids, lots, who “we” decided don’t need to meet or know about Jules at this time. Their parents, our adult kids know and most have met Jules. A few think it would be good for them, Widen their world to meet Jules the say, the others not so much. Anyway, that allows “John” lots and lots of play time with the grandkids. They sail, swim, hike, play games, watch games, etc. Jules watches from within, vicariously enjoying each moment. Someday in the future she’d enjoy meeting them.
So what about you? Are there things your male and female selves share in common, i. e., things you do interchangeably as male and female, where the other folks know you as both?
I’d love to hear from you!
Hugs
Jules
🥰🌈👩What a thoughtful post Jules. A delight to read and a nice invitation to introspection.
I don’t know if I could easily identify his vs hers as you suggest. I have noticed however, a marked decrease of interest in some of the “ manly man” things. Just not interested so much anymore in high intensity hockey, hunting, that sort of thing. Could just be me getting older or maybe it’s Clara telling me, “whoa big fella. Go gentle”.
Clara’s two cents.
Hi Julie,
Common interest that cross for me are , shopping, gardening, walking or out sight seeing in the car for a day, all of which I do in en-femme or drab me.
Every day after work or weekends I can alternate between dressed en-femme or drab and carry out normal house hold activities either way.
Lol Amanda xx
Hi Jules,
Simple answer is pretty much everything. My gender m/f circles are the same size and luckily re: my time circles, the female one is bigger. I’m retired and my spouse knows I’m a CD so I get to spend most of the day and all of the night totally en femme (or at worst mostly en femme). The only time I have to be more in drab wear is when the kids are visiting (which isn’t very often) or when I have to go to a volunteer board meeting and even then I’m certainly wearing some female articles of clothing. Heck, even at the Gun Club, most of the members there think I’m female. And at the Curling Club, I told a fellow my male name, and he still thought I was female. I don’t really separate my male and female selves any more (like I used to over five years ago) -they’ve grown into being one person. I know that I’m lucky to have this freedom and I very much appreciate it. Have a lovely rest of the week, Hug, Krista.
My most important hobbies are seperate. My male “plays with trains.” He builds scale model trains and loves chasing the real thing. He belongs to several Facebook groups for that also. My girly hobby is collecting, playing with and making up stories with Barbie dolls. I now have over 90 dolls.
❤
Beth
Beth, my wife is a classic Barbie collector. She has close to two hundred dolls and cases. Based on my rough calculations she has like 20 thousand dollars worth of original Barbies in mint condition.
Hi Julie as both of us like to sew and help the wife with some of her chores around the house as she says there are two of us so we get two thirds the chores ha ha .. only a few othe things like tinkering around with old vehicles i have a 1932 ford bb truck working on and underdressing helps with the thought process he he a females touch yea..
Stephanie Bass
My short answer is that there is difference.
A friend would always call me Alison, whether I was dressed or not. I once asked her why. She answered me with a question. Is your wife/mother/gf still your wife/mother/gf if she isn’t wearing makeup, or is wearing jeans and a tee shirt instead of a dress?
Sure, there are places I wouldn’t go dressed, but it doesn’t change my core. It doesn’t change who I am fundamentally. If I’m home dressed, I may still do work from home, watch a sporting event, or do prayers over zoom (usually with an androgynous top, no forms, and a skirt below camera). If I’m in drab I may still browse the women’s section for something I may like. I’m not two separate people, I’m one person who likes to wear women’s clothes or appear feminine.
Alison, such a wonderful reply!
You touched on something vital here. Yes, exactly, our mothers, etc don’t change who they are by simply removing makeup or changing clothes.
A friend here mentioned that her wife doesn’t refuses to see her dressed, and she is gorgeous. It got me thinking about my wife, who doesn’t mind me being dressed around her. She love me, ALL of me, both the man she married and me, Jules. When I asked about that, she said something similar: “You are still you, the man I married, regardless of how you dress.” An amazing evolved woman, right?
Hugs
Jules
🥰🌈👩
Jules, those are almost exactly the same words my wife used about me. It was wonderful to know her love was so open.
Well said. Well said indeed.
Dani and Dan share a love for history, science and STEM items as well as a great manicure/pedicure, a great coif and a fine set of heels.
I’ve contended this for a long time: we are borne of two parts that come together to be one. We will exhibit characteristics of both parts over our lives. We will, as we understand more about the skins we are given, determine what feels best, when and why.Hi Dani,
Your comment reminded me of a tale I heard long ago; ancient Greek story.
It is said that originally, humans were round, like balls; but when they stole fire from the gods, Zeus was angered, and split them into two halves with a bolt of lightning. Ever since, we have wandered the earth, each searching for our other half, so we will be complete again. Could it be that our other half is already within us, just waiting to be discovered?Hugs,
Lulu
Hi Jules, Thanks for the friend approval! Loved your question, as I only recently really have come to the understanding of being simply one person with no separation in gender concerns . Not just in my head, but in life. So the question was timely. My answer would be for the moment- that it is not a shared interest by two sides, but one interest with no concern for gender aspects.This is a new thing, so I am still learning the ride. All my best, Mackenzie
Hi Julie!
Similar to you, Barb and Wolverine (I wish!) like having some quiet time just thinking about life and how to become one person. Our personalities are blending between the masculine, stern me and my softer and gentler Barb, so the only difference all day is our clothes. Weird, huh?
We like to hike and bike along beautiful forested trails and the colours now are spectacular!
We also like to read all kinds of books and watch lots of Netflix/Prime. I’ll sometimes try and get into character with one of the female stars halfway through a show and get all dolled up while thinking about what I’ve watched so far.
I find as I get older our two Venn circles are overlapping more and are are getting near the same size, meaning I can spend equal amounts of time as “Wolverine” and Barb, but I hope the two will become one.
Great topic, Julie!
📽🎬 Barb :B
Great reply, Barb!
For me, as I move along the path of this beautiful journey my two selves are becoming more separate and defined, especially me, Jules. I believe this is because my body hosts two spirits, souls, or essence – one male and one female. It all stems from my “discovery” of the concept of “vanishing twins”. I’ll write an article on this in the next few weeks, as I think it will interest a number of girls on CDH.
XOXO
Jules
Hmm. Am I unusual (yes!) in that I don’t really regard myself and Connie as different people? She’s a convenient container for the pinker side of me, but still me.
xxx
My interest don’t change a lot but Michelle is way more laid back. She also likes to shop while her male side does not. Michelle can walk in the park. Sit and watch sunsets and many other things that her male side is much to busy to do. I like her relaxed life style. I don’t know if that makes any since or not.
My two sides are much different – to the extent that my wife had expressed a definite preference for Lulu. Lulu is patient, talkative, and likes to discuss colorful clothes and shoes. Her other side is a hermit and a bit of a grouch. Lulu wears bright colors and always tries to look nice; her opposite wears, black, black and black, and cares not how it looks. Her opposite is a gun collector and shooter; but since Lulu took charge, she hasn’t seen the inside of a shooting range for almost 2 years. We do both like small animals, and reading (sci-fi and fantasy fiction), but Lulu’s reading is almost exclusively stories with a gender-swapping theme. Life with Lulu is a lot more fun than before.
We share many things. We both love driving (and riding) fast, clothes (Wil has always been a clothes horse too, and has lots of pretty shirts, ties, hats, etc), people watching, and cooking and home improvement shows. He likes to build models, she has no interest. She’d rather go shopping. Neither of us watch any sports any more, but we both still love auto racing, but NASCAR has become boring, and it’s challenging to get rally racing or F1. Oh, and we both love murder mysteries on TV.
Bridgette
I don’t believe there is a great deal of separation between myself and him any more. Reading, history, sci-fi and horror/suspense, B-movies, plants and animals, and ‘plinking’ are about the most common.
In boy mode, which is not often or long, painting fantasy figures is a biggie, not much into TV sports anymore, mostly things to do solo.
I enjoy baking, a lot, guy watching with both GG and CD girlfriends, listening to music most of the time I’m not at work.
PaulaF
After reading several replies it seems that I may be the odd one, but my male self and female self are the same person. My likes and dislikes, hobbies and fantasies don’t change based on how I am dressed. Though I am still conscious and cautious of where I go and what I do when dressed en femme, the activities and proclivities are still the same.
Hi Jules
Sarah and her alter ego have very much the same interests, however when it’s Sarah time it is very much more feminine.
Love Sarah
xx
“Both of us” like the following
1/READING Love to nestle up with a good book, (autobiographies, maritime history, sport (Australian Rules Football) and OK “il cheapo hero/heroine paperbacks”.
2/. WRITING We both have been “published” many times. (See my CDH articles for the “femme versions”) Male me has been published in various local newsletters and volunteer groups)
3/. MUSIC. Male me is a broken down old 60’s 70′ rock guitarist. When she can, Caty loves doing her make up with “soft lights and sweet music” eg James Galway on flute.
4/. WINE “Both of us” enjoy a good Aussie red or white wine. Male me does all of the long term cellaring. Caty just “sits back and sips” the results
Cant think of any other mutual interests..The rest are distinctly male/ female
Caty.
Awww, a such a heartwarming sweet story, Bobbisue.🥰
And I am so sorry for your loss.
Yet, I’m confident your wife is looking down and smile upon you, as she sees how happy you are, and being on the other side of the veil she understand that’s it’s simply clothes worn by the same man she loved.
Hugs,
Jules🥰🌈👩
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