- October 25, 2021 at 2:20 pm #564256Julie (Jules) AndersonParticipantRegistered On: February 9, 2021Topics: 3Replies: 131Has thanked: 177 timesBeen thanked: 617 times
(Tries to insert a pic…)
What hobbies and interests do you share with your male self?
“We”, my female and male selves, Jules and John (we’ll call him that for convenience here, as I hate mashing pronouns. And besides, it’s only a half lie) basically share only one common interest or hobby. How about you?
We look at our life(s) as basically two (for purposes of this chat) Ven diagrams. One is our essence of male and female, our feeling of gender. For us now the total male and female circles are almost the same, with the common area being quite large. By this I mean for any part of a day Jules is not dressed, we “feel” equal amounts of male and female with respect to gender. Of course when Jules spreads her wings she is totally in the female circle. Conversely, the same for “John” when he is doing his thing.
Then there are times when we are in the middle common area, a place in time where both Jules and John female and male essence are present. At those times we talk, debate, and have gratitude for our separate yet common parts.
The other Ven Diagram would be of time, time actually physically spent in either our “essences”. Sadly, like many of you, the circle representing time dressed, time completely in the female essence is much smaller than “John‘a” circle. This of course is driven by life, family, friends and acquaintances who don’t know of Jules, etc. But that’s ok, as life is a compromise, right?
And that common area of the “time” diagram. Actually it is quite large as I underdress, etc. Many times as pilot John straps himself into his ultralight for a flight, he is wearing a pair of beautiful lace pink panties under his flight suit… LOL He used to worry, “What if I crash, what if the medics “find out”? Will they laugh and let me die? Seriously, that crap used to permeate my thoughts. But no longer, as ladies, life is simply too short for that! Besides, it would give them a funny story back at the station house.
John loves sailing, flying, chess, sports (although even he is moving away from the violent ones), writing, bike riding, biking, kayaking, windsurfing, blah, and blah blah…
Jules? The only one of those she loves or even likes is sailing. And oh, she’s one of those damn “luffers” (those sailors who either don’t know how to sail a boat properly, or are just to lazy to do it.) When “John” sails (we now share a little Balbo 20’ with an older woman, the original owner) he sails fast and efficiently. Jules on the other hand? Well sails are luffing and poorly trimmed, as long as the sun is on her face she is happy and content. The other hobbies and interests shared – zero, nada, none…☺️
Jules interest? Anything girly; makeup, clothes, romance novels, etc.
Now we have grandkids, lots, who “we” decided don’t need to meet or know about Jules at this time. Their parents, our adult kids know and most have met Jules. A few think it would be good for them, Widen their world to meet Jules the say, the others not so much. Anyway, that allows “John” lots and lots of play time with the grandkids. They sail, swim, hike, play games, watch games, etc. Jules watches from within, vicariously enjoying each moment. Someday in the future she’d enjoy meeting them.
So what about you? Are there things your male and female selves share in common, i. e., things you do interchangeably as male and female, where the other folks know you as both?
I’d love to hear from you!
Total of 21 users thanked author for this post. Here are last 20 listed.
- October 29, 2021 at 11:37 pm #566034Caty RyanBaronessRegistered On: August 27, 2017Topics: 101Replies: 957Has thanked: 6 timesBeen thanked: 3585 times
“Both of us” like the following
1/READING Love to nestle up with a good book, (autobiographies, maritime history, sport (Australian Rules Football) and OK “il cheapo hero/heroine paperbacks”.
2/. WRITING We both have been “published” many times. (See my CDH articles for the “femme versions”) Male me has been published in various local newsletters and volunteer groups)
3/. MUSIC. Male me is a broken down old 60’s 70′ rock guitarist. When she can, Caty loves doing her make up with “soft lights and sweet music” eg James Galway on flute.
4/. WINE “Both of us” enjoy a good Aussie red or white wine. Male me does all of the long term cellaring. Caty just “sits back and sips” the results
Cant think of any other mutual interests..The rest are distinctly male/ female
- October 29, 2021 at 1:22 pm #565816Sarah Du HessisseLadyRegistered On: September 16, 2020Topics: 28Replies: 821Has thanked: 5596 timesBeen thanked: 3257 times
- October 29, 2021 at 4:43 am #565688Jamie WilliamsLadyRegistered On: July 26, 2021Topics: 11Replies: 98Has thanked: 242 timesBeen thanked: 752 times
After reading several replies it seems that I may be the odd one, but my male self and female self are the same person. My likes and dislikes, hobbies and fantasies don’t change based on how I am dressed. Though I am still conscious and cautious of where I go and what I do when dressed en femme, the activities and proclivities are still the same.
- October 29, 2021 at 2:44 am #565664Paula FDuchessRegistered On: August 7, 2019Topics: 17Replies: 1604Has thanked: 28364 timesBeen thanked: 6581 times
I don’t believe there is a great deal of separation between myself and him any more. Reading, history, sci-fi and horror/suspense, B-movies, plants and animals, and ‘plinking’ are about the most common.
In boy mode, which is not often or long, painting fantasy figures is a biggie, not much into TV sports anymore, mostly things to do solo.
I enjoy baking, a lot, guy watching with both GG and CD girlfriends, listening to music most of the time I’m not at work.
- October 26, 2021 at 7:58 pm #564843Bridgette VonSmirffLadyRegistered On: October 18, 2020Topics: 47Replies: 1423Has thanked: 19442 timesBeen thanked: 5819 times
We share many things. We both love driving (and riding) fast, clothes (Wil has always been a clothes horse too, and has lots of pretty shirts, ties, hats, etc), people watching, and cooking and home improvement shows. He likes to build models, she has no interest. She’d rather go shopping. Neither of us watch any sports any more, but we both still love auto racing, but NASCAR has become boring, and it’s challenging to get rally racing or F1. Oh, and we both love murder mysteries on TV.
- October 26, 2021 at 2:41 pm #564714AnonymousTopics: 0Replies: 0Has thanked: 0 timesBeen thanked: 0 times
My two sides are much different – to the extent that my wife had expressed a definite preference for Lulu. Lulu is patient, talkative, and likes to discuss colorful clothes and shoes. Her other side is a hermit and a bit of a grouch. Lulu wears bright colors and always tries to look nice; her opposite wears, black, black and black, and cares not how it looks. Her opposite is a gun collector and shooter; but since Lulu took charge, she hasn’t seen the inside of a shooting range for almost 2 years. We do both like small animals, and reading (sci-fi and fantasy fiction), but Lulu’s reading is almost exclusively stories with a gender-swapping theme. Life with Lulu is a lot more fun than before.
- December 2, 2021 at 7:44 am #583490
- October 26, 2021 at 6:25 pm #564819Julie (Jules) AndersonDuchessRegistered On: February 9, 2021Topics: 3Replies: 131Has thanked: 177 timesBeen thanked: 617 times
Such a wonderful reply, Lulu!
I think my wife would agree that I’m, Jules, is much sweeter than her husband…LOL
Oh, and she’d also agree about the guns, as that’s certainly one of “John’s” hobbies which Jules abhors….
- October 26, 2021 at 7:54 am #564577Michelle TrottDuchessRegistered On: April 7, 2021Topics: 1Replies: 370Has thanked: 770 timesBeen thanked: 1671 times
My interest don’t change a lot but Michelle is way more laid back. She also likes to shop while her male side does not. Michelle can walk in the park. Sit and watch sunsets and many other things that her male side is much to busy to do. I like her relaxed life style. I don’t know if that makes any since or not.
- October 26, 2021 at 12:45 pm #564666
- October 26, 2021 at 3:51 am #564498Bobbisue JonesLadyRegistered On: May 24, 2021Topics: 12Replies: 705Has thanked: 4951 timesBeen thanked: 2802 times
Hi Julie, my circles are a little different. I have an extra circle. After 55 yrs I lost my wife who I loved and miss. I started missing her and wanted to be closer. I found her panty drawer. Yup, can’t get any closer than panties! I had tried to introduce my female self about 10 yrs into marriage. Totally rejected. Put in closet and threw away key.
Feminine side came out shortly after wearing panties. I started seeing therapist. I have come to terms and accept Bobbisue as part of me and we love going out en femme.
It was Bobbisue’s idea to include wife’s essence to join us. To show her how much better and fun we could have had had she accepted us. The male self is in total agreement. So to answer your question, our 3 circles have merged into one. We 3 concentrate on time we have left being feminine and what fun we can have. Children are supportive, just don’t dress in front of children. We are going to a drag show in two weeks, just the 3 of us ( en femme ) , plan on having a ball! Hugs Bobbisue, wife and me!
- October 26, 2021 at 12:51 pm #564667Julie (Jules) AndersonDuchessRegistered On: February 9, 2021Topics: 3Replies: 131Has thanked: 177 timesBeen thanked: 617 times
Awww, a such a heartwarming sweet story, Bobbisue.🥰
And I am so sorry for your loss.
Yet, I’m confident your wife is looking down and smile upon you, as she sees how happy you are, and being on the other side of the veil she understand that’s it’s simply clothes worn by the same man she loved.
- October 26, 2021 at 2:12 pm #564696Bobbisue JonesLadyRegistered On: May 24, 2021Topics: 12Replies: 705Has thanked: 4951 timesBeen thanked: 2802 times
Thank you Julie. I believe she is also. I also tend to believe she left something way back in a closet Daughter didn’t find when cleaning closet. I found 8 or 10 brand new Capris pants, still with tags on them. The store is no longer in business, K Mart, price, $7.00…lol. Ya think she knew? I find it also a coincidence that we are same size, for now, I am losing weight!Hugs Bobbisue J
- This reply was modified 1 month ago by Bobbisue Jones.
- October 26, 2021 at 1:44 am #564468Connie TwirlLadyRegistered On: August 18, 2021Topics: 14Replies: 439Has thanked: 742 timesBeen thanked: 1825 times
Hmm. Am I unusual (yes!) in that I don’t really regard myself and Connie as different people? She’s a convenient container for the pinker side of me, but still me.
- October 25, 2021 at 8:23 pm #564430Barb WireDuchess - AnnualRegistered On: September 16, 2021Topics: 12Replies: 527Has thanked: 2533 timesBeen thanked: 2490 times
Similar to you, Barb and Wolverine (I wish!) like having some quiet time just thinking about life and how to become one person. Our personalities are blending between the masculine, stern me and my softer and gentler Barb, so the only difference all day is our clothes. Weird, huh?
We like to hike and bike along beautiful forested trails and the colours now are spectacular!
We also like to read all kinds of books and watch lots of Netflix/Prime. I’ll sometimes try and get into character with one of the female stars halfway through a show and get all dolled up while thinking about what I’ve watched so far.
I find as I get older our two Venn circles are overlapping more and are are getting near the same size, meaning I can spend equal amounts of time as “Wolverine” and Barb, but I hope the two will become one.
Great topic, Julie!
📽🎬 Barb :B
- October 25, 2021 at 9:27 pm #564442DuchessRegistered On: February 9, 2021Topics: 3Replies: 131Has thanked: 177 timesBeen thanked: 617 times
Great reply, Barb!
For me, as I move along the path of this beautiful journey my two selves are becoming more separate and defined, especially me, Jules. I believe this is because my body hosts two spirits, souls, or essence – one male and one female. It all stems from my “discovery” of the concept of “vanishing twins”. I’ll write an article on this in the next few weeks, as I think it will interest a number of girls on CDH.
- October 26, 2021 at 5:34 am #564533
- October 25, 2021 at 8:09 pm #564426Micah BaumanDuchessRegistered On: March 8, 2021Topics: 0Replies: 17Has thanked: 1 timeBeen thanked: 71 times
Hi Jules, Thanks for the friend approval! Loved your question, as I only recently really have come to the understanding of being simply one person with no separation in gender concerns . Not just in my head, but in life. So the question was timely. My answer would be for the moment- that it is not a shared interest by two sides, but one interest with no concern for gender aspects.This is a new thing, so I am still learning the ride. All my best, Mackenzie
- October 25, 2021 at 8:27 pm #564431
- October 25, 2021 at 7:53 pm #564422Alison AndersonDuchessRegistered On: October 15, 2018Topics: 11Replies: 675Has thanked: 510 timesBeen thanked: 2894 times
My short answer is that there is difference.
A friend would always call me Alison, whether I was dressed or not. I once asked her why. She answered me with a question. Is your wife/mother/gf still your wife/mother/gf if she isn’t wearing makeup, or is wearing jeans and a tee shirt instead of a dress?
Sure, there are places I wouldn’t go dressed, but it doesn’t change my core. It doesn’t change who I am fundamentally. If I’m home dressed, I may still do work from home, watch a sporting event, or do prayers over zoom (usually with an androgynous top, no forms, and a skirt below camera). If I’m in drab I may still browse the women’s section for something I may like. I’m not two separate people, I’m one person who likes to wear women’s clothes or appear feminine.
- October 26, 2021 at 6:45 am #564549Dani GrandBaronessRegistered On: October 9, 2018Topics: 1Replies: 107Has thanked: 542 timesBeen thanked: 397 times
Well said. Well said indeed.
Dani and Dan share a love for history, science and STEM items as well as a great manicure/pedicure, a great coif and a fine set of heels.
I’ve contended this for a long time: we are borne of two parts that come together to be one. We will exhibit characteristics of both parts over our lives. We will, as we understand more about the skins we are given, determine what feels best, when and why.
- October 26, 2021 at 2:14 pm #564697AnonymousTopics: 0Replies: 0Has thanked: 0 timesBeen thanked: 0 times
Your comment reminded me of a tale I heard long ago; ancient Greek story.
It is said that originally, humans were round, like balls; but when they stole fire from the gods, Zeus was angered, and split them into two halves with a bolt of lightning. Ever since, we have wandered the earth, each searching for our other half, so we will be complete again. Could it be that our other half is already within us, just waiting to be discovered?
- December 2, 2021 at 7:50 am #583495
- October 25, 2021 at 9:34 pm #564444DuchessRegistered On: February 9, 2021Topics: 3Replies: 131Has thanked: 177 timesBeen thanked: 617 times
Alison, such a wonderful reply!
You touched on something vital here. Yes, exactly, our mothers, etc don’t change who they are by simply removing makeup or changing clothes.
A friend here mentioned that her wife doesn’t refuses to see her dressed, and she is gorgeous. It got me thinking about my wife, who doesn’t mind me being dressed around her. She love me, ALL of me, both the man she married and me, Jules. When I asked about that, she said something similar: “You are still you, the man I married, regardless of how you dress.” An amazing evolved woman, right?
- October 25, 2021 at 3:52 pm #564296Stephanie BassPrincess - AnnualRegistered On: November 30, 2019Topics: 16Replies: 2580Has thanked: 34930 timesBeen thanked: 8903 times
Hi Julie as both of us like to sew and help the wife with some of her chores around the house as she says there are two of us so we get two thirds the chores ha ha .. only a few othe things like tinkering around with old vehicles i have a 1932 ford bb truck working on and underdressing helps with the thought process he he a females touch yea..
- October 25, 2021 at 3:31 pm #564290Beth GreenLadyRegistered On: February 24, 2021Topics: 30Replies: 579Has thanked: 5755 timesBeen thanked: 3183 times
My most important hobbies are seperate. My male “plays with trains.” He builds scale model trains and loves chasing the real thing. He belongs to several Facebook groups for that also. My girly hobby is collecting, playing with and making up stories with Barbie dolls. I now have over 90 dolls.
- October 26, 2021 at 5:28 am #564530Stephenie DerickBaronessRegistered On: July 9, 2020Topics: 0Replies: 121Has thanked: 1105 timesBeen thanked: 460 times
- October 26, 2021 at 11:07 am #564642
- October 25, 2021 at 6:23 pm #564332DuchessRegistered On: February 9, 2021Topics: 3Replies: 131Has thanked: 177 timesBeen thanked: 617 times
- October 25, 2021 at 3:09 pm #564278KristaDuchessRegistered On: January 24, 2017Topics: 9Replies: 773Has thanked: 3049 timesBeen thanked: 3808 times
Simple answer is pretty much everything. My gender m/f circles are the same size and luckily re: my time circles, the female one is bigger. I’m retired and my spouse knows I’m a CD so I get to spend most of the day and all of the night totally en femme (or at worst mostly en femme). The only time I have to be more in drab wear is when the kids are visiting (which isn’t very often) or when I have to go to a volunteer board meeting and even then I’m certainly wearing some female articles of clothing. Heck, even at the Gun Club, most of the members there think I’m female. And at the Curling Club, I told a fellow my male name, and he still thought I was female. I don’t really separate my male and female selves any more (like I used to over five years ago) -they’ve grown into being one person. I know that I’m lucky to have this freedom and I very much appreciate it. Have a lovely rest of the week, Hug, Krista.
- October 25, 2021 at 6:28 pm #564335
- October 25, 2021 at 2:44 pm #564263Amanda BurtonBaroness - AnnualRegistered On: January 15, 2020Topics: 76Replies: 2441Has thanked: 13272 timesBeen thanked: 10038 times
Common interest that cross for me are , shopping, gardening, walking or out sight seeing in the car for a day, all of which I do in en-femme or drab me.
Every day after work or weekends I can alternate between dressed en-femme or drab and carry out normal house hold activities either way.
Lol Amanda xx
- October 25, 2021 at 2:42 pm #564262Dorothy AnneLadyRegistered On: October 23, 2021Topics: 4Replies: 13Has thanked: 60 timesBeen thanked: 139 times
I used to put away my crafting in boy mode but at this point i just dont care. In either mode crocheting is something that i do and enjoy immensely. I could see myself doing other things but the time that i have to dress is usually better spent just enjoying the feelings.
- October 25, 2021 at 2:38 pm #564260Clara CrossLadyRegistered On: December 7, 2020Topics: 15Replies: 562Has thanked: 1650 timesBeen thanked: 2583 times
What a thoughtful post Jules. A delight to read and a nice invitation to introspection.
I don’t know if I could easily identify his vs hers as you suggest. I have noticed however, a marked decrease of interest in some of the “ manly man” things. Just not interested so much anymore in high intensity hockey, hunting, that sort of thing. Could just be me getting older or maybe it’s Clara telling me, “whoa big fella. Go gentle”.
Clara’s two cents.
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