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Let’s be more specific.
I am talking about those oversized female…. Whoops! I nearly fell into the trap! …. women’s ones. They can’t be female, can they, because they were not assigned as female at birth? In the same way as a skirt can’t be female either. And they have no reproductive function (though they can be worn in the bedroom.)
But in these days of having to mind our P’s and Q’s about only using inclusive language, can they be called women’s and be inclusive? Well no, because they are not exclusively worn by women. Men can wear them too, even though they are non-inclusively marketed as women’s.
They are simply oversized, non-gender-specific (to be inclusive), sunglasses. I think.
You know the ones. They have larger frames than “normal” glasses. Let me give you an example.
Mine have squarish blue and clear plastic frames, violet tinted UV protected lenses, and decorative arms. The silver (plastic) decorations have a 3-dimensional laser-cut-diamond look that adds a certain blingy vibe. Not as ostentatious as Dame Edna’s I must add. And only £20 quid from amazon.
This confers upon them a fashion item look. Dare I say femme look? Ummmm… no, because it is not inclusive. Femme implies
femaleerrr…. women’s. We are back to the inclusive thing.
Lets sort this out. When I am wearing them they are a femme fashion item. Okay? I regard them as a femme luxe item!
So what are they used for? Apart from as sunglasses I mean. Apparently up to 80% of harmful UV rays get through on lightly clouded days. It is reckoned that more people get sunburned when it’s cloudy than when its sunny, because they haven’t slapped on the factor 50 sunscreen.
They are not seasonal. I bet Krista, in the far northern icy wastes, has to wear them in winter to prevent going snow blind! And here, in blighty, the low winter sun glares at you at eye level on those few sunny days. Straight through the car windscreen as you turn the corner.
They even need them in Scotland! I kid you not. According to Billy Connolly there are only two seasons in Scotland – June and winter! Lol.
So they are a fashion item.
They can be colour-coordinated with your outfit, or your other accessories. Or worn as a statement piece, Dame Edna style. You can also wear them on top of your head for a cool WAG-ish, or trendy mum-at-the-school-gates picking up Sebastian, fashionable look. Or you can wear them just because they just look Fab-u-lous dahling.
But their real value is in being a MASSIVE confidence booster. I mean it …. MASSIVE. Something to hide behind.
They tick another “it’s a woman” box and so help with being accepted as one. Every box ticked reinforces this perception.
They cover a large area around your eyes and brows (which also hides masculine brow ridges) and save you the bother of applying eye and brow makeup (or masking it if poorly done). The downside is that you can’t bat your ridiculously oversized false lashes at white van man.
Because you are hiding behind them they help – a lot – with eye contact. All they can see of yours are your coloured lenses. This boosts your confidence much, much more than you would think.
They knock 20 years off your age! Eye bags? Can’t see them. Wrinkles? ditto.
Team them with a smile (which is an immediate facelift ) and it can be 30 years!
For me, my blonde wig with a fringe (bangs in USA) + oversized sunglasses + a lovely smile, with lipstick = my face can hardly bee seen at all. The glasses + bright red lips adorning a friendly smile distract the viewers eye away from my delicately blushed cheeks, chin and femme (I like to think) nose.
It gives me confidence because I know that I actually look like a
There are downsides. I am more likely to trip over a fallen branch or get caught in snarls of brambles, in 2poos gloomy Autumn woods, at least until all the leaves have fallen.
Stephanie P 👓
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