• This topic has 10 replies, 10 voices, and was last updated 1 year ago by J J.
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    • #714687


      I was thinking about a recent trip to a local store the other day and wondered if anyone else has had an experience like me.

      I was at my local department store getting some everyday items and made a stop in the women’s clothing department. I picked out a new bra and a cute little dress that was on the clearance rack. I finished my shopping and went up to the check stand. The checker was a younger girl maybe in her mid 20’s, she is ringing up my items and noticed my nails were done (I was dressed in normal men’s clothes) she commented on my nails and I thanked her. As she is ringing up the rest of the items she sees the dress and bra and asked me if they were for me. Without any hesitation I answered yes, she rang up the dress and said that it was a good price and that she is sure it would look great on me. Has any of you other girls had an interaction like this? What was your experience like?

    • #714696


      From my experience, the younger generations are generally more accepting.  And yes, I have had several interactions similar to what you have describe.  My favorite was a teenager who complimented my dress, and her male colleague (also a teenager) tried to stop her.  He was concerned that I would be uncomfortable being complimented.  To frame the scene, it might be helpful to share that I was presenting as a man while wearing the dress in my profile photo. (In fact, the story comes from the day that photo was taken.)

      MacKenzie Alexandra

    • #714697
      Lola Caprice

      I have not had an experience like that because I don’t get out dressed, or even shop in drab.  Just online.  But I wanted to say thank you for sharing that story.  It sounds like a very positive and comfortable exchange.  As MacKenzie said, it just seems the younger generation is more accepting.  It’s my own generation and generations before mine that make me nervous!  For reference, my generation are those of us born in the mid 60s.


    • #714753

      I don’t dress out of the house but I do enjoy shopping in the stores.  I have never had anyone act unusual or make a comment except once.  I was checking out at a DSW shoe store and there was a big line.  The two checkout girls got big smiles when they saw my two pairs of shoes in size 12 which were obviously for me.  They asked me if I had an account and when i said no they wanted to open one up for me.  I declined but with big smiles they kept explaining the perks of being a member and how much I could save when I bought more shoes.  Meanwhile, the line was building behind me and I was so embarrassed with all the attention I was getting.  I finally convinced them that I didn’t have the time to sign up and I would do it next time so they rang me up and I got my red faced body out of there.

    • #714774
      Peggy Sue Williams
      Duchess - Annual

      Not an unusual experience at all and happens to me all the time, particularly as you noted with youthful employees.  Moreover, I live in Atlanta, Georgia, a large metropolitan city area, which is exceptionally LGBT friendly.

      I find that female employees in particular are extra friendly toward CD shoppers, whereas male employees, as would be expected, are a bit more reserved.


    • #714779
      Jennifer Lang

      Whether in boy mode or en femme, most sales people and other shoppers have been pretty accepting. But I think the biggest factor in how any of us are treated is how we feel about ourselves.

      For many years I thought dressing was something shameful and my trips to stores reflected that. I thought I was doing something wrong and was too ashamed to make eye contact, smile, or have a conversation. I used to go to a particular Lane Bryant store and slink around and refuse help or admit I was shopping for myself.

      Once I accepted that dressing was OK and worked out at home that I didn’t have to hide anymore, I now go to the same Lane Bryant and am greeted with smiles and I know all the associates by name. They told me that the confidence I project is the biggest difference.

      It works the same in most situations. If I feel at ease, most others do, too. Whether in boy or girl mode, if I am friendly and smile I get along with other shoppers and clerks in the women’s section or the dreaded long checkout line. And I can only feel at ease because I chose to accept this aspect of my life and don’t feel ashamed about it.

      Any clerk I’ve encountered who isn’t accepting usually just rings things up with a sour look and leaves it at that.

      I do, however, try to stay in more tolerant communities and avoid too much interaction in less accepting areas. So far, almost all clerks, even male clerks at thrift stores, have been friendly and accepting.

    • #714781
      J J

      Yes, I have had similar experiences. I was shopping at Dillard’s and tried on some chemises. When I checked out an older SA who had helped me was there, but so was a younger SA who rang me up. Her comment was that the chenpmise was really lovely, she had a similar one, and looks really good with a flat chest. Another time at FofH I was trying on some lingerie with the help of an SA who adjusted the straps, et cetera and her comment was the color complimented my skin tone well. It just isn’t a big deal to by what we want to wear.

    • #714926

      A similar but smaller scale event.
      I’m shopping for support hose with my wife in a full service store.
      Young (college age) staff said ” Take off your socks. I need to measure you.
      Deep breath, then What the heck.
      I pull them down and reveal my OPI Linger Over Coffee (dark brown if you don’t know it).
      She looks and says, Oh that’s a great color for you!
      We go off a polish and pedicure conversation.

      As has been said, Younger staff in larger cities or college towns are the most likely to be supportive. In my experience anyway.

    • #714939

      I have had many clerks and shoppers talk to me about me nails, my skirt, or my necklace.  I love it when they talk to me like any other woman in the store.


    • #714942

      Hi All,

      Never had an issue with purchases of dresses, bras, heels, etc… at places like Nordstrom Rack, Ann Taylor, Loft, Dillard’s and Macy’s. I never had the question of who it’s for. Only a comments saying that’s a good style or the shoes are sexy. I’m in the Denver area, so it’s liberal here just about on every issue. It’s very low stress if you’re shopping in person in this area.

      However, and this may be slightly off topic. I was at a gas station in male mode during summer, wearing shorts, had shaved legs, and of course bright red toe nail polish while wearing flip flops. Had a guy and his kid whispering… “why would someone do that?” and then when I was walking out… they had to throw out 3-letter f word. Just kept going, smiled, shook my head.



      • #715149
        J J

        Troglodytes still exist and it is sad to see their intolerant views passed to future generations. The good news is that many in that future generation will forego those poor lessons and grow up to be more tolerant and accepting.

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