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Hi Jennifer, it’s Scarlett and I know you mean’t to say the word “transitioning” up above but we get the message anyway.
I would never go through a transition for several reasons and here are a few reasons why below:
(1) I enjoy being a handsome husband to my wife and both of us like my physical plumming just the way it is! Love making would just not be the same without my male plumming.
(2) I’m allergic to pain now and always have been based on the amount of sports injuries I’ve incurred throughout my lifetime. I hear about the number of surgeries it takes and the amount of hormone drugs you have to take to make a complete transition, not to speak about the huge amount of time it takes to get through the entire process so for those reasons alone I’m out!
(3) I really enjoy being both a handsome husband and unconditional lover to my wife and also love exploring the femme side of me with my thrill of cross dressing. I look like a 100% passable girl while both at home and while out in public and it’s so much fun when I do get out in public on those rare occasions and no one has a clue I’m a guy in that cute dress or outfit with the perfect makeup on. I get real charge out of fooling all of the people I walk by in the mall or in a bar in downtown Pensacola with them having the slightest idea that I’m a guy instead of a girl.
(4) I enjoy dressing up in fashionable well fitting expensive male clothing as well. I love dressing up in a slim cut expensive suit when my wife hauls me off to several semi-formal or formal events usually during the months of December or January. I love being the best dressed guy in the building during those events which are primarily for the fund raising to support so many people out there who are way less fortunate than we are. I was homeless for a year when I was 18 and 19 years old after my parents divorced after my high school graduation with the highest honors possible. Both parents headed off to different states and I wasn’t invited to either one of those states to go with either one of my parents. So I ended up living in a car and working as a brick mason’s laborer for a year helping to build the water purfication plant for the city of Tuscaloosa, Alabama! It was a really tough job but kept me in tip top physical condition. On several occasions, however, I had to end up stealing lunch meat from the local grocery store in order to survive while living in my car which I kept parked at our work site. You should see how I live now in comparison to living in a car. You can see some of the interior of our home by viewing many of my photos on this site. I’ve been blessed by God and will continued to be blessed by God for many many years!
Thank you for your question and I hope I gave you and adequate answer as to why there will never be a transition from male to female in my life!
XOXOXO Scarlett
“Just” a cross dresser!?
Wow! Not at all a “just” situation for me.
After years of shame and alcoholism, when I finally and fully came to understand myself, completely and fully and came completely out of the closet, it was most definitely not a “just” situation. It was the first time in my life I began living life to the fullest, and the first time in my life I completely understood who I was.
I realize mileage may vary for others. I am speaking about my personal experience as a CD.
I hated crossdressing. It was horrible. At a point, there seemed no other (survivable) option than to stop doing it, stop crossdressing, stop living as a man.
Now that I don’t dress as a man anymore, life is so much better.
Many here crossdress as a way to scratch an itch, I suspect. I crossdressed as a way to fit in, to have a career, to make friends. At a point, I realized that for me, being myself was more important than all of those things combined.
People crossdress for different reasons, I suppose. For me, never again.
At this point in my life, I see no possibility for transition. I’ve built a family and career as a man and I wouldn’t want to jeopardize that in any way. And, for the most part, I’m comfortable in my male skin. Having a trans child, I know the difference between my “wishing I had been born a woman” and my child’s debilitating dysphoria when they see their own body.
Had I been born in this era, when kids learn about these things at a younger age, I may have made a different choice. But that option really wasn’t available at the time.
Going all the way to being a woman in November when the jewels be gone for good
Congrats!
It’s going to be a wild ride.
Thank you Rach know it will be and be very content after.
Thank you Clarissa Still content on going through with it no turning back.
My short answer is “yes, I’m content”; a longer answer would be “It’s complicated”.
Age (and medications?) have made my “bits” more ornamental than functional; i.e. I wouldn’t miss them. But even if I could get the medical clearance, I couldn’t take the necessary recovery time from the surgery, and it doesn’t bother me that the option is off the table.Hugs,
BettylouI don’t know what to call this. It’s certainly not crossdressing as I wear women’s clothes more often than not. I feel like I’m crossdressing when I put on some of his clothes at times for specific situations. I recently reached out to a local transgender support group as I’m now more aware I’m not just crossdressing anymore. I’m living more as a woman 👩. Hugs, Debbie Lynn
Eighteen months ago, if someone asked me if I wanted to transition, my answer would have been no. But if it came from an SO (I’m divorced right now, unrelated to my dressing), and they asked “How could you be sure?”, my answer of “I just know” would have been pretty weak.
When the pandemic hit and I was working from home, and rarely on video, I decided to do an experiment. I was en femme for a significant amount of the time, probably better than 90%, Yes, some days I had to appear male, but other days I would be dressed 100% of the time, or just a few minutes off to shower or change a bra. One of the questions I wanted to answer was, “Am I sure I don’t want to transition?”
Living en femme for the better part of fifteen months has been an eye opening experience. I enjoyed it thoroughly and feel that when I retire in a few years, could continue to do so. I’ve learned a lot. But there are still times I am happy to appear male. If that amount of time spent en femme doesn’t make me feel I want to transition, little else will. To borrow from Ivory Soap, I can tell you now that I’m 99 44/100% sure I won’t transition, but remain a crossdresser.
No, not a content CD.
I’d been repressing and denying this part of myself for so long I don’t think you could’ve even called it deep in the closet.
The dysphoria is pretty uncomfortable most days and dressing up even fully enfemme brings little relief.
Making the decision to move onto transitioning has brought me some measure of peace and self acceptance and now when I look in the mirror I see Rei rather than ‘that’ guy playing at being a woman…..and all that’s changed is my perspective (for the moment, HRT is in my very near future)Best wishes. If you ever want to talk….
Hi Jennifer I find a lot of contentment just being a cross dresser. I like the fact i can present myself as a woman one day and be a loving male husband and grand father the next. I must admit it does get confusing some times Some times I want to crossdress full time all the time. Transitioning to a woman at this stage in my life would only completely blow up everything I created and there is no need in doing that right now. Cross dressing most time is the compromise that works for me now. Thank you for the post.
Luv Stephanie
Love being a cross dresser , no desire to become a women, just love the feel of ladies clothes and how they look, so nice to wear bra, panties, nylons and summer dresses instead of boring boxer shirts and t shirts ,
Oh hell no, cross dressing is my 24/7 lifestyle. By the way, why can’t we create another term name to substitute for the ever so labeling and stereotype term of cross dressing? Perhaps we here at CDH can do just that. Back to am I content to just wear women’s clothes, although I am 24/7 and not transgender there are even more exciting areas of my life. Drag is my number one contentment. It’s hard to explain how drag wakes me, excites me and I love the attention I get while in drag, it’s almost orgasmic.
My wife has known about my dressing since shortly after we got married. She has felt threatened by it all & has asked me if I wanted to transition & become a woman. The answer was always “No”. But perhaps, I was lying to her, and to myself. She has told me that she would leave me if I transition. She’s my whole world so, for that reason, I wouldn’t do it. But in the past year, she’s asked me again. I had to tell her, “Yes, I want to transition. Yes, I want to be a woman, but only if we could stay together.” I’d start today if she’d stay, but I don’t think that’s ever going to happen.
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I have known my whole life I was meant to be a feminine person. Even as being gay, lesbian, gender fluid and a host of other categories has become more accepted, “cross dressers” have still been relegated to a category of more a perversion or fetish and that made it VERY difficult to discover and accept who I am. Would I transition? Do I get to keep my wife, kids, job, family and everything else? Then yes. Do I need to transition? No. I am who I am in my heart and soul and don’t need surgery to affirm that. Do I need feminine clothes? YES!!! I am feminine and love expressing my femininity. If I could dress every day and put on my makeup and jewelry and heels, I would be happy. 4+ decades of self discovery and searching have put me in the happiest most content place in my life, and all I need to have is my own personal self acceptance and acknowledgment of who and what I am to be happy.
There is no “Just” to who we are other than “just” ourselves, be it a cd/tg/gender fluid or squirrel wrangler (nod to Grace). So ladies, “just” go be your happy unique and fantastic selves!
🍷C I have only been dressing for the last 8 months so I cant really say what I might think for the future but for now with my body I am content with just crossdressing. I like dressing and being a guy and I like dressing and being a girl. This may be selfish of me but I think having the flexibility is one of the reasons I have stuck with it for the time I have so far. Now if I could choose my body and have the looks that I want I would totally go all girl 24/7 I would miss some aspects of being a guy but I could live with it.
I chose “yes”, because I am exactly that: “just” a crossdresser. I don’t feel the least bit inferior because I’m “just” a crossdresser, in fact I would like to think that I am the quintessential crossdresser. I stick to the classic definition. I wear women’s clothes, both under and outer. I don’t know if makeup is considered “clothes”, but I do “modify” my male exterior with makeup (on occasion). I still speak non-femme, move and walk non-femme when dressed.
No surgery for me. No hormones. But I have great respect and admiration for all the girls who are willing to use any means at their disposal to become all the woman that they can be.
And so I remain, quite contentedly I might add, “just” a crossdresser.
I am content being a cross dresser. I don’t feel like I am “just” a cross dresser. The use of just implies that I am limited in some way. I am not. I am happy being a cross dresser.
Yes. I’m very content being just a crossdresser. I love being a handsome man, and also LOVE being a beautiful woman! Yes, I do REVEL when cross-dressing. I notice that there’s a lot of content CD sisters here. That’s nice to know. Girl power!
XOXO Revel
I have no plans to transition but I admit I’ve fantasized about what it would be like to be 100% woman. As for now I enjoy dressing, lingerie makes me feel so feminine, special and like a woman and so does my boyfriend. I really think it’s all about how dressing makes you *feel* and if that feeling satisfies you, you don’t need to transition to be happy. But I do understand those who make that decision.
Coulda’ – woulda’ – shoulda’
I suppose we all face that conundrum in our lives as those who know there is more to us at our soul level than simply “plain male.”
As a teen in the early 70s I struggled desperately and alone with what is now known as gender dysphoria. As far as I know in my limited small town knowledge the condition had not at that time officially been identified or medically diagnosed nor the term coined. I was simply a teen boy who craved to be girl. Did some crossdressing and found that I felt so natural and “right.” I was so disheartened when puberty took me in the male development direction rather than female. I so wanted breasts, a real reason to own and wear a bra. I even felt sadness that I wasn’t going to be able to have a no they cycle.
As a teen I became a Christian and began a life long process of question and discovery and “balancing act” between being a male as God made me and embracing my femme self who I knew in my soul that I am.
Married young, had children, career etc. Dressing and transition were in the way and out of the question dreams and activities.
Divorced after 38 years, yes because I identified as TG, though I rarely (very rarely) expressed my femme self. My ex just could no longer live with a man who believed he should be a woman.
Once single on my own, dressing became fairly easy and the thought of transition became ever so strong. But by then I had grandkids who loved grandpa. I couldn’t justify taking him from them and giving them a ???.
Remarried, second wife knew before we were married my heart. She married me anyway. She was OK with my dressing for a short period of time, but my dressing began to change me as a person. I projected feminine much more intensely which is understandable since I am more than just a crossdresser. I could sense this femme projection even in male mode troubled my wife so for her sake I put away my dressing. This is difficult but it seems a necessity as, after all these years of questioning and discovery I understand and embrace the reality that at a soul level I am a woman. I don’t want to simply dress as one; I want to be one, me, Charlene Victoria.
Blessings.
I hope you find your balance again Charlene, all the best.
— Abbie 🥰
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Hi Charlene. Sadly you live the conflict many of us carry daily in our lives too late to actually do much about it except steal moments of dressing and letting our female side breath a little. I find it gets harder to contain her and she seeps out in feminine ways in my life. Good luck my sister and know that unlike in the old days we know we are not alone by any standard.
I voted no ,having been a cross dresser for nearly all my life ,I would now love to spend the rest of it as a female 24/7 so if that makes me transgender thats what I want to be . Michelle xx
I’ve had the good fortune to speak with enough trans women to realize that’s not me. I want to emulate, have flights of fancy, to play pretend and immerse myself for a time in the artistry of the thing. And yes, I often speculate what it would be like. But at the end of the day I’m just as happy to go back to my drab male self, so I happily stay in the CD-zone.
I answered yes, but the caveat is I want more of crossdressing. I recently told my wife that I have to stop hiding this side of me. I have repressed it my whole life and I was finished with it. While I still don’t fully present as female I incorporate female clothes, and mannerisms in my day to day male life. I used to think that I would only ever present as a female, wearing only dresses and skirts with heels. Now my favorites are skinny Jean’s and flats. But I wear those while also presenting as a Male. It fills my need not to hide and express my femininity.
I guess the question is what does “just crossdressing” mean? I know some CD ladies don’t have any gender issues and view crossdressing as more of a performative art form they enjoy as men. Others are testing the waters with letting a formerly repressed feminine side out, perhaps to discover later that this is their true self. I think I’m in the latter camp but I’m a bit confused lately to be honest. I just don’t think full physical transitioning is in the cards for me. I’m not thrilled by the idea of surgery and my dysphoria, so far, isn’t strong enough to overcome that hurdle. I could see myself doing HRT at some point if possible but I do still enjoy being a guy sometimes. Why? It could be because I’ve learned to cope with that role over a lifetime.
For me, it’s definitely a journey. If I’m crossdressing and feel like a woman even when I’m not dressed as one, but don’t do anything else towards transition, am I just crossdressing? I don’t think so, but am always open to other opinions. I’d say I’m not just crossdressing but the rest is mental work that I’m doing on the inside, at least for now.
— Abbie 🥰
No, I’m not content, but….I’ve learned to live with it as I realize the time to seriously consider transitioning has passed (and some time ago). Which I did, the first time without thinking too much about it, the second time giving it all very serious thought.
We go through life making choices, and sometimes the choices are very difficult and the ones you make may not always be in your best interests. Why? Because for most of us there are others involved, others that you love dearly, and who love you in return, and you want the best for them. Or, I would hope you do.
Sure, I’d love to be single, have enough money so that I could live decently by myself, get up when I please, go to bed when I please, eat what I want, when I want, make all my decisions which only affect me, and nobody else. And transitioning would be high on my list.
Yet, I had and have friends, close and good friends through my life. Don’t think for a moment that would be the case if I was so totally selfish that choices I’d make involving them would benefit me the most.
Same with sharing a life with someone, choosing to have children (transitioning certainly makes having natal children an impossibility, not that you can’t adopt or foster parent, but still there’s something be said for being there at conception, birth, life, and leaving the nest.
In sharing a life, it’s all about working out expectations, boundaries, giving a little and getting a little. You make choices and learn to live with them.
I love my spouse, my three adult children, my now four grandchildren. None would be where they are now if I had chosen anything different. Did I know I’d have all that back when I could have made that first choice? Of course not, but it all came about because I made choices, I accepted that to get something here, I’d have to forego something there.
So cross-dressing is a small choice I make to somewhat satisfy an urge, like the 18 stories I’ve posted elsewhere. They are small releases I enjoy to slightly compensate for the what I chose to give up.
Am I a better or worse person for doing so? In my own mind? Of course, not, I’m just me.
To many it’s not just a simple yes or no unfortunately. I enjoy crossdressing, it allows me to be who I am and who I have always known myself to be. Those of us that are older lived in a time where we were shunned if our feelings were known. Since a very young age I did and still do believe I have a soul that is not male but female. I discussed it with my mother at a very young age. Let’s just say she wasn’t as helpful as some mothers might be today. I enjoy crossdressing and it’s not a sexual thing, it’s more a state of being who I am. I enjoy dressing and going on with my daily life when possible. Being 6’3” is not really a passable height and in heels, well you could imagine. So I have never been passable.
I. He led off “yes”, because I have to settle for what I have but
The third choice should have been added, “it’s complicated”.Unfortunately, whereas my wife was once tolerant of dressing, yesterday she told me, “It’s messing with my head.” She said that, if I wanted to dress, during the day, while she’s at work, go ahead. But she wants to come home to her husband. She also doesn’t want me going anywhere, enfemme. Feel like a prisoner.
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