- January 31, 2022 at 6:30 am #616833Lacy SatinParticipantRegistered On: June 27, 2018Topics: 7Replies: 481Has thanked: 444 timesBeen thanked: 2344 times
I was watching a program the other day on strange addictions. One gal could not stop sniffing Lysol. Another gal was addicted to eating rocks and OMG! another one liked drinking gasoline. All of these addictions had a trigger point in their lives.
It started to get me thinking about my crossdressing. Thank God there is nothing harmful, physically about it, but it is like an addiction. I really can’t see myself living without my escapes into femininity and putting on pretty dresses and sexy lingerie. I crave my times when I can feel like a young girl.
My crossdressing started at a very early age when I developed these intense feelings of jealousy of little girls. I was a very lonely little boy with no friends. I began looking at the girls as being very happy and always seemed to get so much attention when they were dressed in their pretty dresses.
I wanted to be dressed just like them and be told I was cute too. I was led to believe these were bad thoughts and not becoming of little boys. I had no idea what the difference between boys and girls was. All I knew is if you wore pretty dresses and your hair was let to grow long, you were called a girl. So why couldn’t I have been able to let my hair grow long and wear pretty dresses and be called a girl?
In time I was able to secretly experiment with wearing girls clothes. Every time I was able to enjoy dressing and feeling like one of the girls, a feeling of content, relaxation, and wholeness came over me. Everything just felt right with the world. I was happy!
I am not a little boy anymore and I never really got to enjoy being a little girl, but these childhood desires have never gone away. In fact through the years it has grown to more intense desires to dress and feel like one of the girls. Could this just be because I still feel lonely and desiring attention, and not feeling like the masculine man that I am expected to be?
There are times when I feel like I’m a woman trapped in a man’s body, but then I look back on where it all started and have to question myself on why I love dressing up so much.
Is this an addiction that started very young? Did my childhood experiences rewire my brain? Is this just a coping mechanism for my feelings of being inadequate and less of a man than I am expected to be?
As much as I fantasize at times about being female I don’t think anything went wrong with me being born a boy.
I would be very interested in hearing how other girls here feel about their dressing and thoughts of being a real woman.
Thanks for reading!
- This topic was modified 1 year ago by Lacy Satin.
- October 30, 2022 at 11:06 am #687590Jessica WildeLadyRegistered On: October 5, 2020Topics: 42Replies: 187Has thanked: 222 timesBeen thanked: 1618 times
I have to put my 2 cents in on this subject. I don’t consider crossdressing an addiction. I was in therapy at one time and the therapist was treating it like an addiction and it really offended me because it’s not. It’s just part of my person. (I have since come to realize I’m actually trans) . I quit therapy because of this.
To some of us crossdressing is a necessity. It makes us feel whole and it is truly who we are and want to be. I will admit that at times I wondered if it was an addiction but as I grew older and realized it was a part of me I no longer wondered if it was an addiction.
All I can say is love who you are, be who you are and love those who take you as you are.
- October 30, 2022 at 8:11 am #687564BeckaLadyRegistered On: January 7, 2017Topics: 120Replies: 1316Has thanked: 921 timesBeen thanked: 3945 times
Disclaimer! I have only read the title question of this post. Not the post itself or replies.
I think the whole problem with this question and similar questions related to LGTBQ people in general is, the perception is there is a problem. That something needs to be fixed by and for the individual.
Our ways of life, our desires, needs experimentation and habits, have existed (probably) for as long as human beings have existed.
Crossdressers, trans people, (LGBTQ and others) don’t have problems or addictions that need to be fixed in some manner. Either through therapy, medication or otherwise.
We are “normal”. What is not normal are the reactions by others. Are people who live (and try to make others live) by the scriptures addicted to religion? Perhaps, but people don’t run around trying to “cure” them.
What I’m saying is “we”, the community need to work to change this perception. And the ones who need “fixing”, or have an “addiction”, to what they feel is normal are the ones that need all of the help!
Love and Hugs,
- October 30, 2022 at 9:15 am #687574AnonymousTopics: 0Replies: 0Has thanked: 0 timesBeen thanked: 0 times
Wow very encouraging words
1 user thanked author for this post.
- October 30, 2022 at 8:04 am #687562AnonymousTopics: 0Replies: 0Has thanked: 0 timesBeen thanked: 0 times
Hi lacy I new to this site but I like your post I can understand where you are coming from on your feelings
I feel the same way you do
Is this an addiction or what
Yet just like being dressed as women in feels wondeful
I have a female friend who is very supportive andu daughter support me
My female friend has encouraged me to explore my inner feelings
For me my inner feeling are scary and confusing if we’re to transition I would be disowned by my many people
This site is wonderful
But when I dress as women my brain is all women and I want to be treated as women yet in a fantize world I become a submissive wife and I fantize being from the 1950 cooking a holidaydinner in full drag cleaning the house in blouse and binki underwear yet because I not sure what can shared or said I have other things I need to explore
I love my wife dearly
- October 25, 2022 at 1:20 am #685648Wanda OvahearRegistered On: October 19, 2022Topics: 16Replies: 918Has thanked: 1758 timesBeen thanked: 2910 times
Gravel eaters and the like are obsessive-compulsive not addicts. There’s lots of good articles you can read on the differences. An addiction can be satiated by being acted upon (although dependency can increase, of course), compulsions cannot. There is definitely a dopamine hit to be had from being en femme and you can get hooked on that. But “the life” is more complex , as many of you other ladies have noted. It’s a bit like the thread on “is it sexual”. When I first started dressing again just wearing panties was a dopamine rush and got me wet. Now I have to be “dressed to kill” and expecting sex for that to happen, just like any other gal. “It is who you are” becomes the predominant feature of a multifaceted way of life.
- October 30, 2022 at 9:20 am #687576AnonymousTopics: 0Replies: 0Has thanked: 0 timesBeen thanked: 0 times
Your post is wonderful
I wasn’t sure what I could say on this forum
I to think about pleasuring another man while dressed
I have never had the opportunity to go full dress and venture out
Yes crossdressing is a part of me
But being comfortable in my own skin dressed as a woman is going to the hard part
Thank you Wanda
1 user thanked author for this post.
- October 24, 2022 at 11:26 pm #685638Natalie SierraLadyRegistered On: August 20, 2022Topics: 3Replies: 38Has thanked: 67 timesBeen thanked: 234 times
Definitely. In my experience it’s best to dress up in moderation. If I go too long without dressing, I get very anxious and can’t stop thinking about it.. once I dress up again and a few times after, this makes the urges go away for a while.. sometimes months before I feel like dressing again .
- October 21, 2022 at 2:40 pm #684895AnonymousTopics: 0Replies: 0Has thanked: 0 timesBeen thanked: 0 times
- October 21, 2022 at 2:11 pm #684886Emily AltManaging AmbassadorRegistered On: August 24, 2019Topics: 125Replies: 1787Has thanked: 2328 timesBeen thanked: 9466 times
I may have already responded to this resurrected thread. It’s certainly worth revisiting. Here’s what I think today.
First, I’d offer that many of us are more non-binary than we’re willing to admit. Food for thought.
I suppose crossdressing could be an addiction. That’s not my experience….unless it’s possible for a 4 year old to become psychologically addicted to something.
Yes, I wore a bra when I was 4. There were no environmental influences pushing me to do so. Deep down, I’ve always wanted to be a girl. If my crossdressing were an addiction, would it have been accompanied by gender dysphoria? I doubt it. Did my dysphoria go away when I crossdressed? Never. But it did lessen when I started going out as my authentic self. Around that time I started to think I might be trans.
Being on hormones has been a watershed. I knew within a week it was the right thing to do. I feel girly regardless of what I’m wearing….or not wearing.
Crossdressing filled a need when that’s all I had….or more specifically….all I was willing to accept. Today….they’re just clothes. I wear them for practical reasons as much as I like to look good.
I’m not crossdressing. I’m just dressing.
- October 21, 2022 at 10:21 pm #684950TheaLadyRegistered On: August 30, 2022Topics: 7Replies: 102Has thanked: 498 timesBeen thanked: 566 times
Dear Emily: you are so, so right! It’s a deep longing and need for me: for years now I’ve been convinced I’m “dressing” when en femme, and feel really uncomfortable when my So talks about crossdressing. I’m convinced I am much healthier mentally when I can be Gabby, which doesn’t sound like an addiction. Does all this mean I crossdress when I’m in drabguy mode?
- October 21, 2022 at 2:27 pm #684892Lauren MugnaiaDuchessRegistered On: November 1, 2021Topics: 43Replies: 853Has thanked: 18184 timesBeen thanked: 5170 times
Hi Emily, you nailed it, it’s a need, not an addiction! We were born wired this way, whether people believe that or not, it’s true. We need to have that time wearing our clothes, the clothing that matches who we are inside.
Ms. Lauren M
- June 6, 2022 at 2:48 am #650458Suzanne MartinHostessRegistered On: January 8, 2020Topics: 9Replies: 806Has thanked: 7572 timesBeen thanked: 3412 times
What an interesting topic and interesting responses.
On the one hand I think it is an addiction. I find myself thinking of dressing most of the time, waiting for the nest opportunity to dress, thinking of ways to be able to dress, underdressing to fulfill a need to dress, wanting to shop or actually shopping for female clothes. Yes this can also be considered an obsession but also an addiction. As others have pointed out it can be devastating to relationships. It has been said by some that crossdressing won’t kill you. I would challenge that premise as there are many crossdressers and transgender’s that have been assaulted and killed.
On the other hand is it a hobby for some of us. I get enjoyment from dressing and like putting together my outfit, selecting my jewelry and shoes, admiring my look in the mirror, walking in my heels, doing household chores while dressed to name a few things. As others have stated there is also a sexual aspect to it and self stimulation can be part of that.
For me I think it is a combination of addiction/hobby. I enjoy my time when I am dressed and yes self stimulation is sometimes part of it. I do find myself obsessing over the next opportunity I will have to dress and do underdress almost daily for short periods of time. I also think of going out in public but know it is something that will never happen. I started. like many, at a very young age wearing my mothers clothes. Throughout my life I would dabble with dressing on occasion, mostly between marriages (I’ve been married 5 times). none of whom knew about my dressing until my current wife. So for me like a few of the others it has been 60 years of denial that is now being satiated by acknowledging my desire to dress. This adds to the obsession/addiction, making up for lost time.
This is an interesting topic and the answers to the question will be as varied as we are, as proven by the responses already given.
Thank you for asking this question. I know for me it has caused me to think of something I hadn’t before and will be an interesting topic to bring up in therapy.
- February 22, 2022 at 11:31 pm #624278Michelle BaileyLadyRegistered On: July 17, 2020Topics: 1Replies: 201Has thanked: 8940 timesBeen thanked: 983 times
Hi Lacy I have been cross dressing for over 40 years grabbing the chance to dress en femme when no one around ,things have now changed as my wife and I are retired so those chances are few and far between ,so now I underdress every day ,bra ,panties ,pantyhose etc and love every minute of it ,there are the odd days its not possible and I must say are cant wait to get back to my female undies ,so is that an addiction ,I suppose in one way it is , so if it is I am loving it ,don’t want to stop and would love to take it further live full time as a female .
- February 23, 2022 at 12:47 am #624281Lacy SatinLadyRegistered On: June 27, 2018Topics: 7Replies: 481Has thanked: 444 timesBeen thanked: 2344 times
You say you’ve been doing it for over 40 yrs. and your wife doesn’t know?
Not being able to dress can be very frustrating. I’m semiretired and I get to dress whenever I want.
I remember back when life was too hectic for me to dress as often as I wanted to. I would get thoughts of wanting to be a girl full time as well. I found that all I really needed was just some girl time and after I got my fix I was OK going back to my male lifestyle.
- June 5, 2022 at 6:31 pm #650413
- February 22, 2022 at 6:22 pm #624185AnonymousTopics: 0Replies: 0Has thanked: 0 timesBeen thanked: 0 times
- February 22, 2022 at 3:09 pm #624138LeonaraAmbassadorRegistered On: October 13, 2015Topics: 6Replies: 876Has thanked: 4234 timesBeen thanked: 2776 times
I don’t think my CD is an addiction… I did not “choose to dress it chose me” or to quote Miss Lollipop “ an intense feeling of ‘complete-ness’ and peace and at-one with our inner fem”. In my counseling I have accepted my feminine alter ego and for now have a balance with my male self… as time goes on the the scale is more 65-35 feminine…
Thank you Lacy for a very thought provoking topic
- February 22, 2022 at 2:22 pm #624131Kim DahlenbergenLadyRegistered On: November 18, 2019Topics: 1Replies: 499Has thanked: 603 timesBeen thanked: 1979 times
Cross dressing can certainly become an obsessive behavior. It can be classified as an addiction for an individual in the same way that gambling can be so classified: Does it result in harm to a person by contribution to damaged healt/injury, economic hardship, loss of relationships. Or basically, is the compulsion to cross dress resulting in harm to a person, and is the indivdual unwilling or unable to modify their behavior to avoid harm to themselves or others.
- February 22, 2022 at 12:12 pm #624112Sarah KanterLadyRegistered On: April 25, 2019Topics: 25Replies: 292Has thanked: 700 timesBeen thanked: 1786 times
I think anything can be addicting. This is one of the things that bothers my wife about my desire to dress, that it is an addiction. I haven’t dressed in a while because she’s been more than usually opposed lately, and I don’t want to hurt her or cause conflict.
I did the typical 21st century thing and googled “how to tell if you’re addicted.” Looking through a variety of lists, I could definitely see that some of my behavior and feelings qualify, but so could other things that most people would think are perfectly healthy. So, when it says, “you feel depressed or sad when you can’t engage in the activity,” that applies to dressing up sometimes, but it also applies to exercising and participating in my church.
One of the things that it’s important to remember, is that addiction is defined by the norm. Being addicted to something society approves of is different than being addicted to something they don’t approve of.
The key thing on most lists, was how the behavior affects other aspects of your life. Do you take dangerous risks to do the activity? How does your commitment to the activity shape relationships? Are you willing to hurt those you care about to engage in the activity? Can you put the activity aside for a time without emotional distress? Does time spent in the activity hurt relationships with people you care about?
I’ve been thinking about this a lot over the last couple of months as I’ve not been dressing up to give my wife some space. Still no answers, but I think being able to evaluate yourself and your actions and your relationship with anything and everything you do, is important.
- February 21, 2022 at 11:22 pm #623940Emily AltManaging AmbassadorRegistered On: August 24, 2019Topics: 125Replies: 1787Has thanked: 2328 timesBeen thanked: 9466 times
Hmm. Would you say a female that often wears men’s clothes has an addiction? I’ll bet she doesn’t think so. Maybe that’s just her fashion sense? Maybe she’s a tomboy? Maybe she’s a lesbian? Maybe she’s trans?
Well, I’m trans. I feel girly every day. It’s in my head. I don’t need girl clothes to feel like a girl. But I do like wearing them. They’re an outward expression of who I am.
I don’t think I’m addicted. That would imply a compulsive disorder and a treatment for it. I know that neither applies.
I’d offer that many of us are more non-binary than we’re willing to admit.
- February 22, 2022 at 6:59 pm #624219Christine ManlyLadyRegistered On: November 13, 2020Topics: 1Replies: 38Has thanked: 9 timesBeen thanked: 200 times
Well said Emily. I notice so many women dressing like men an think nothing of it. And yet it’s not seen that way a man acts the same.
Why did I chose to dress at such a young age there are many reasons.
It evolved over time to become an addiction then a compulsion.
- February 22, 2022 at 5:52 am #623995
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- February 20, 2022 at 11:53 pm #623633JennyLadyRegistered On: February 7, 2022Topics: 2Replies: 13Has thanked: 50 timesBeen thanked: 101 times
Hi Lacy ,
I have been struggling for sometime now wondering if CDing is an addiction for me. I know for a fact that my work and personal life were being effected because my mind is all the time looking for opportunities to dress up or browse my CD social media profiles. I am very closeted and get to fully dress up once in 4 months for a couple of days maybe. That too confined to my home. Even after 20 odd years since the 1st time i put on feminine clothing, I am still confused what drives this inside me. I dressup , pleasure myself and then guilt trips in. Is this guilt is what makes me feel like it is an addiction ?
Of late, I’ve been keeping myself busy with work and other activities and I try to tell myself that CDing is just a part of me and as long as I am not hurting anyone with it, there is nothing to worry about it.
- February 21, 2022 at 12:32 am #623635LadyRegistered On: June 27, 2018Topics: 7Replies: 481Has thanked: 444 timesBeen thanked: 2344 times
I think it’s very important to come to terms with crossdressing desires. You are far from being alone. There are many gurls like you out there and our reasons for dressing up varies a lot.
I’m fortunate to be able to dress whenever the desire hits me. I get to wear lingerie every day. I sleep in a nightgown every night. I can only imagine how hard it is for someone who has to spend months just thinking about it and not being able to act on their desires.
I don’t have a need to pleasure myself every time I dress up but when I get horny I always dress up and pleasure myself. I’ve enjoyed doing this from my beginnings of puberty. In the beginning I had feelings of guilt but as time went on I realized this is just the way I am. I may have satisfied my need at the time but I’m fully aware it will return. I have no feeling of guilt after pleasuring myself. I just put my feminine clothing away for the time being and go on with life until these desires return.
I think the more time you manage to find to escape into the wonderful world of femininity the less stress and anxiety you will have in life. There’s nothing wrong with you. Think of yourself as being fortunate to have discovered your feminine side.
- February 5, 2022 at 6:56 pm #618580AnonymousTopics: 0Replies: 0Has thanked: 0 timesBeen thanked: 0 times
My SO thinks crossdressing IS an addiction & that is all that it is…I however know it is NOT. It is something that stirs in my very soul. It is something that completes me and makes me feel fulfilled and vey happy. I do not think an addiction would have that effect on someone….
My 2 cents,
- February 5, 2022 at 12:55 pm #618519Jess SecretLadyRegistered On: February 18, 2021Topics: 17Replies: 628Has thanked: 1559 timesBeen thanked: 2787 times
I wear beautiful/romantic/bridal lingerie to bed almost every night and I admit to being obsessed with it so I would proudly call it an addiction on my part. I just love how the lingerie looks and feels on me, and my boyfriend thinks I look gorgeous in it as well so I would definitely say I’m addicted to it.
- February 5, 2022 at 11:32 am #618502AnonymousTopics: 0Replies: 0Has thanked: 0 timesBeen thanked: 0 times
That was a really sweet origin story..
I think everyone’s experiences are going to vary, wildly. For some, it’s a need, for some an escape, others it’s a fantasy. One thing unites us all universally though, an intense feeling of ‘complete-ness’ and peace and at-one with our inner fem.
Addiction? It certinly could become one, similar to the wat all other addictions grow inside us, chasing something for a better feeling within ourselves, reaching for an inner ‘acceptance’ That zen we get once were all finished and can admire the transition, leaving behind all tangible traces of dis-harmony or ill-feeling to spend just a moment looking at the world through altered-eyes.
It’s certainly a source.. I’m just glad I am able to live with myself, be happy at attaining my best and living in pursuit of being at peace being the ‘best’ version of myself.
I’m just glad it’s *This * * ….I’ve been down some dark path’s in the course of my life!..
Stay blessed x
- February 5, 2022 at 11:20 am #618501Lauren MugnaiaDuchessRegistered On: November 1, 2021Topics: 43Replies: 853Has thanked: 18184 timesBeen thanked: 5170 times
Hi Lacy, thanks for the question. I, as have many of you ladies, started dressing when I was around 5 but have always had feminine longings as far back as my memory takes me. I have spent hours looking at the literature regarding studies into transgenderism and gender dysphoria, and I now know that I am and always have been a transgendered woman, in other words, that part of me was, quite literally, a part of me just as my blue eyes are part of me. So I don’t view it as an addiction but more of a physical need that must be attended to.
- February 5, 2022 at 1:50 am #618383Lauren BLadyRegistered On: January 15, 2022Topics: 6Replies: 39Has thanked: 35 timesBeen thanked: 252 times
- February 5, 2022 at 2:02 am #618386LadyRegistered On: June 27, 2018Topics: 7Replies: 481Has thanked: 444 timesBeen thanked: 2344 times
- February 5, 2022 at 12:22 am #618374Tina AllenRegistered On: August 16, 2021Topics: 1Replies: 51Has thanked: 543 timesBeen thanked: 247 times
Lacy and the other replies
Very good thinking, question. and it almost made my head hurt (Also).
I did a comparison of Addiction , and Hobby. In short answer I consider it as hobby. Its self improvement. Not self destructive. BUT there is still variables on both sides.
- February 5, 2022 at 1:52 am #618384LadyRegistered On: June 27, 2018Topics: 7Replies: 481Has thanked: 444 timesBeen thanked: 2344 times
It was just a thought I had and made a post about it for fun. Didn’t mean to make anyone think about it until their head hurt.
Thinking of it as a hobby is a great way to look at it.
- February 4, 2022 at 9:04 pm #618355Jaime PleatLadyRegistered On: January 23, 2022Topics: 6Replies: 108Has thanked: 525 timesBeen thanked: 424 times
Great topic and, I think really great replies like always. The love I have for being dressed is never out of mind. Like many us, perhaps, I fantasize about various scenarios of being dressed. This can be a pacifier but not like carefully putting on each article and loving the process as much as the presentation. I am in my later 60’s and still remarkably remember so long ago. I was about five when I became aware and would seek the clothing I wanted almost right away thanks to sisters.
society casts a rather negative label on the word addiction, or obsession, so I won’t assign either to Jaime. Jaime is me and as one sage reply said, how can you be addicted to your self. So yes I know there was a trigger in my life and I can release my memory here, I think I am addicted to all of my sisters here!
- October 21, 2022 at 12:35 pm #684866Jaime PleatLadyRegistered On: January 23, 2022Topics: 6Replies: 108Has thanked: 525 timesBeen thanked: 424 times
Thanks to you all for acknowledging my reply. This reminds me that I need to be once again involved via the Forums with our community. I shall do so tonight. Have a wonderful weekend and enjoy the autumn for our Northern Hemisphere and 4 season geo area Sisters!!!! I know this sounds my 68 years young, but isn’t it cool for me to write this from Chicago and need to qualify my “enjoy Autumn” statement with hemisphere and latitude! And the good Sisters in Australia ( anyone from Alice Springs ?) who are early risers will see this the same instant as our Sisters in Central Europe who are hopefully partying at 21:30!!
- February 4, 2022 at 6:08 pm #618292patty williamsHostessRegistered On: January 19, 2019Topics: 90Replies: 1593Has thanked: 2897 timesBeen thanked: 6236 times
I try not to overthink it ,Makes my brain hurt.LOL
I never hated being a boy but I always loved the cute outfits girls and woman got to where.
I always loved the cute swimsuits they wore also.
I finally in my fifties ended up in a pair of heels and I knew that all I wanted to do ws be more feminine.
its all I really want to think about,Not sure you’d call it an addiction.
However my shoes and cloths buying might be an addiction.
- February 5, 2022 at 1:57 am #618385
- February 2, 2022 at 5:09 pm #617733Cassie JaysonDuchessRegistered On: September 29, 2019Topics: 85Replies: 1380Has thanked: 3203 timesBeen thanked: 6483 times
Lacy, I thought long and hard about this all day. A while back I went to a therapy session, when I explained that after each dressing session all I can think of is the next time out, where to go and what to wear. The therapist said that sounds a lot like an addiction.
So I guess on one level it is an addiction. On another level I am trying to catch up on 60 years of my life of not exploring my feminine side. Now I am trying to find the me I want/need? to be.
My head keeps going back and forth, am I truely trans or ‘just’ a crossdresser Sometime I am more at peace with myself if I think of myself as just a crossdresser and sometimes I want/need? to explore going full fem 24/7.
- February 3, 2022 at 2:06 am #617836AnonymousTopics: 0Replies: 0Has thanked: 0 timesBeen thanked: 0 times
You know Cassie, I feel the same way. At 66, I question it every day…what is fair to me and to those in my life that I love the most. Does my grandson need his Pap? How would this affect him, and my daughter and son-in-law? My wife of 45 years would interpret (and she does) this way differently, making it personal and all about her failure as a woman and a wife, which is the furthest thing from the truth. I just can’t, and don’t want to stop my increasing fem look and feelings and I often wonder…trans or just a CD? I think I know the answer, and after I discussed it with my doctor I realized that my coming out to so many people about my feelings is making it easier to accept who I am as a person. An addiction? Carrying two personalities around through life can be confusing, exciting, sexy, and scary…but an addiction? Can a person be addicted to being who they are?
- February 3, 2022 at 1:41 am #617835LadyRegistered On: June 27, 2018Topics: 7Replies: 481Has thanked: 444 timesBeen thanked: 2344 times
Thank you for responding!
I was asked by a therapist once, “If I could give you a pill to cure you of your desires, would you take it?” I told him, “If I could give you a pill that would take away your hunger and you would never need food again, would you take it? I think I made my point.
You have a lot of catching up to do. I would not question yourself, I would just let your desires fill your body and soul and let it flow. Let it take you to whatever happy place you feel is right.
Wow! 60 years of catching up. How sad! Did you have desires that you just never acted on, or did your feminine side just emerge at a very late time in your life?
- February 3, 2022 at 4:35 am #617851Cassie JaysonDuchessRegistered On: September 29, 2019Topics: 85Replies: 1380Has thanked: 3203 timesBeen thanked: 6483 times
Lacy, it is like for many here. I could go weeks months or years with no or little desire at all. Sometimes I would dress for a few hours or maybe an entire day, and many times the dressing included a sexual component, but not always.
Spent over 25 years raising a family, ware any thoughts of dressing took a back seat and that was fine in my head. Then I had a night almost 3 years ago where I went scrounging in the house, after that I dressed in fem most nights and when I had a chance during the day.
Then we move to Sept of 2020 when I had my hair colored for the first time,ears pierced and started going out in fem when I could.
Moving to this past Sept got my nails done and had longer colored nails since. I am loving this part of me and looking to more coming out. I just wish I could find more close to me to share this side. I mean family, friends, church family etc.
. . .Casie
- June 6, 2022 at 3:32 am #650464Roberta BroussardDuchess - AnnualRegistered On: July 20, 2020Topics: 7Replies: 687Has thanked: 8796 timesBeen thanked: 3535 times
I think that many of us share this compelling desire to satisfy our emotional needs by dressing up. Then we want to resume our place amongst our families and friends but dressed.
I don’t think any of us truly want to go trekking off somewhere, to leave our families and our lives behind.
Wouldn’t it be nice if dressing just didn’t matter to anyone and however we showed up was fine with everyone.
I guess we want our cake and be able to eat it too.
- February 1, 2022 at 7:44 am #617180
- February 1, 2022 at 7:03 am #617160LeahBaronessRegistered On: June 13, 2018Topics: 3Replies: 478Has thanked: 10800 timesBeen thanked: 2167 times
I would agree with what has been sad that Cross dressing is NOT and addiction. It is a desire that we all seem to have that we cannot explain. I struggle with the how did I start ( I have an idea) , why is it so prevalent in my thoughts and why do we feel so compelled to get dressed up? Calling our dressing an addiction is such a negative connotation. we haev enough negative perceptions of society to deal with already without adding more on the pile.
I think most of us woudl dress more frequently if we had more supportive and encouraging spouses/SO’s and society did not look down upon our desire to dress up as it does not seem to fir their standards of what is right.
- February 2, 2022 at 4:14 am #617445LadyRegistered On: June 27, 2018Topics: 7Replies: 481Has thanked: 444 timesBeen thanked: 2344 times
I’m thankful that over the years I have figured it out and I know what started it. Knowing what triggered my desire to crossdress has brought some sympathy to my feelings about myself and more comfort to my dressing and enjoying femininity.
I never worry about society accepting it or not because I never intend to go out in a dress in male mode. I always do my best to look female and fit in with other women when I’m out dressed.
- February 1, 2022 at 3:44 am #617122Sara ThomassmLadyRegistered On: November 8, 2019Topics: 3Replies: 72Has thanked: 850 timesBeen thanked: 498 times
This is my opinion. When we grow up we’ve always been told what boy should be they should never play with dolls wear dresses play with makeup.
And it’s being young we do as we’re told or to be consequences. And I think most of us younger always want to wear the dresses always want to do the makeup and always want to play with dolls.
A lot of us is snuck around and did it anyway but we was taking big chances. Then as I say maybe life gets in the way and our feminine itself is on the back burner.
For me like a lot of you I started cross-dressing when I was in my forties most of time I feel I’m more trans than crossdresser but who really knows.
I just love the clothes from the foundation all the way to the complete woman the bras the wigs the slips a nice skirt very feminent tops but for me I don’t think it’s an addiction I mostly think it’s a correction what we’ve always wanted to be
- February 2, 2022 at 4:31 am #617449LadyRegistered On: June 27, 2018Topics: 7Replies: 481Has thanked: 444 timesBeen thanked: 2344 times
That’s always been a confusing factor for me. From early childhood I have never stopped dressing but life does get in the way and frequency does vary.
I am comfortable with my male lifestyle for the most part, but when I feel the desire and need to dress up everything changes. I love the way I feel and look in a dress, wig, and makeup. For that period of time I feel all is right with the world. Something inside me tells me that I am expressing my true self.
Because I have lived my entire life as a man, at least the side of me society sees, I think I would be lost if I decided to change and live a life as a woman.
- January 31, 2022 at 6:29 pm #617049Sandra LascoLadyRegistered On: January 30, 2022Topics: 2Replies: 73Has thanked: 424 timesBeen thanked: 356 times
It is not an addiction for me as it represents what I truly think I am deep inside of me, and that is being an average woman with womanly feelings. Crossdressing helps me to express my femininity and as such underlines my feelings as the woman I am in my mind and soul.
- January 31, 2022 at 4:00 pm #617021Peta MariLadyRegistered On: September 30, 2020Topics: 37Replies: 693Has thanked: 1073 timesBeen thanked: 3547 times
Yes. Cross Dressing can be an addiction. And it can be harmful.
Eg. Money spent gambling instead of paying the bills. Money spent on clothing instead of paying the bills.
Secrecy of behaviour. Destruction of healthy relationships. Lying and deception.
Stealing time from getting important chores done. Isolating ourselves from accountability.
Lets call it what it is can be. There are exceptions to the rule of course.
- January 31, 2022 at 2:49 pm #616996ChloeCDuchessRegistered On: November 5, 2019Topics: 15Replies: 797Has thanked: 3143 timesBeen thanked: 3925 times
Hi Lacy. I guess it would depend on each individual’s definition of ‘addiction’. Here is Merriam-Webster’s
a compulsive, chronic, physiological or psychological need for a habit-forming substance, behavior, or activity having harmful physical, psychological, or social effects and typically causing well-defined symptoms (such as anxiety, irritability, tremors, or nausea) upon withdrawal or abstinence
Except in rare instances, I suppose, I can’t see cross-dressing as having harmful effects or causing symptoms on withdrawal.
I’m retired and for most my life I’ve been a night person. I like to stay up late, reading, watching TV, just musing on the day past. And then slowly get up, late the following morning. For years when I had to get up early, internally I’ve probably been a little upset but no tremors or nausea that I can remember, maybe some irritability. Now, I feel fine. I do suppose some could call that an ‘addiction’ but I certainly wouldn’t.
I also don’t think our need to express our inner self and that compulsion that goes along with it is in any way related to any kind of habit forming substance.
But, that’s my opinion. I suppose someone else might find a slightly different definition, change the words around a little and throw it in our faces.
Me? I’d be a little irritated at that, but in the long run, I wouldn’t care.
- January 31, 2022 at 2:07 pm #616987SylviaLadyRegistered On: October 10, 2021Topics: 1Replies: 667Has thanked: 16948 timesBeen thanked: 2780 times
Dear Lacy ,
I know now that I dress because I wan’t to express the strong Feminine
part of myself in this way.
I am still in the closet , and I feel no need ( at this time ) to share that with the
rest of the outside world.
I did share it with all you lovely Ladies here , on this beautiful site ,
for the first time in 45 years.
I have allso come to the realisation , since being here , that I am also somewhere
on the Transgender spectrum myself.
This is something I just didn’t realise , or was willing to accept to myself before.
So no , for me it is not an addiction at all , just a way to show my true self.
- January 31, 2022 at 12:24 pm #616946Angela BoothHostessRegistered On: August 1, 2020Topics: 12Replies: 1880Has thanked: 6388 timesBeen thanked: 8574 times
- January 31, 2022 at 11:05 am #6169061968 SoniaLadyRegistered On: November 14, 2021Topics: 0Replies: 53Has thanked: 149 timesBeen thanked: 211 times
Difficult question Lacy because the word crossdressing is related to the action of dressing but includes very different beings…
I think that when we look for the causes in same way we are asking ouerselves why?? and if we misture with addiction we have the punishment, the sin , and the unrespect inside us hitting ourselves.
My experiece is thay I WANT to feel like a very hot bisexual woman in the bed, but.. I’ve fought and I still do it agaisnt it and…. this resistence has been killing me in some way.
Is an addiction?? Am I a perv?? Is a question of polarity?? Can I did and hide it again like the last 40 years??
Am I trans?? In the cause a testicule that didn’t go down until I had a testosterona treatmen?? Did I want to be seen by my father???
The mind never stops and the suffers grows ….how can we may stop it?
I AM just Sonia and I ACCEPT ME.
Kisses sisters and thank you Lacy
- January 31, 2022 at 10:58 am #616902AnonymousLadyTopics: 0Replies: 0Has thanked: 0 timesBeen thanked: 0 times
It’s not an addiction for me it is who I am. Ever since I put on my first pair of mom’s panties I felt that it was the correct underwear for me. She did find them in my room and we discussed it and the result was she bought me my own panties that fit me as a child. Since those days I find that I enjoy looking at women’s clothes, shopping as Sandy and being out feeling good about myself and the world I live in.
- January 31, 2022 at 10:43 am #616898Donna CeedeeLadyRegistered On: January 17, 2022Topics: 1Replies: 79Has thanked: 50 timesBeen thanked: 438 times
I can’t really remember not feeling something in me that made me desire woman’s clothing from even a very young age. Got in trouble at eight years old putting on my sister fancy party dress. But I knew I wasn’t supposed to do that but wanted it so badly . Now fifty years later I’m still at it. I do enjoy it immensely and I’m not giving it up. I’m not sure it should be called an addiction. It’s just who we are
- January 31, 2022 at 10:39 am #616896Lara TuckerBaroness - AnnualRegistered On: September 29, 2021Topics: 2Replies: 1416Has thanked: 32567 timesBeen thanked: 5285 times
I never really fit in with the boys as a kid. Looking back I think I had as many friends that were girls when I was in grade school. Even as an adult I feel more comfortable talking to women. I was never into sports either.
The dressing didn’t start until my late 50’s though. Judging by most experiences that I have read here, that is kind of different.
My urge is very strong, and I seem to look ahead to the next time that I can dress as I put the clothes away. I suppose that is the definition of addiction.
However, as Michelle has already pointed out, it’s not likely any of us will overdose any time soon.
For others of us, I just think that they have found their true selves along the journey.
Love, and hugs,
- February 1, 2022 at 12:15 am #6171041968 SoniaLadyRegistered On: November 14, 2021Topics: 0Replies: 53Has thanked: 149 timesBeen thanked: 211 times
Dears Lara and Michelle
First time I dressed I was 45, until that moment I only knew that I had a big atraction to tv/ts an androgine women…
But remembering in theraphy I remembered me waking up ( not dreaming) in the night with 8/9 years naked dancing with a kind a sexual euphoria and Being a girl!!!!
So crossdressing is a late and a surprisong path for me but the ways are diverse.Our self says to us what it needs so we go depper it but not deny it, and if we feel it go through the experience and see what it happens. Sometimes reality is more simple than mental fantasy and fears.
Let’s do the real way ( whatever it could be)
- January 31, 2022 at 12:10 pm #616938Michelle SkylarLadyRegistered On: March 18, 2021Topics: 3Replies: 308Has thanked: 1216 timesBeen thanked: 1209 times
- January 31, 2022 at 3:29 pm #617009Lara TuckerBaroness - AnnualRegistered On: September 29, 2021Topics: 2Replies: 1416Has thanked: 32567 timesBeen thanked: 5285 times
- February 1, 2022 at 2:51 am #617115LadyRegistered On: June 27, 2018Topics: 7Replies: 481Has thanked: 444 timesBeen thanked: 2344 times
Lara you are so right! I haven’t been enjoying this site for very long, but it feels so good to be able to openly share a part of me that I have had to keep secret most of my life.
It’s just so nice to know I’m not alone and there are others out there who enjoy femininity as much as I do. Just putting it in writing where otheres can read it makes me feel much better about myself.
- February 1, 2022 at 6:26 am #617157Lara TuckerBaroness - AnnualRegistered On: September 29, 2021Topics: 2Replies: 1416Has thanked: 32567 timesBeen thanked: 5285 times
- February 4, 2022 at 2:05 am #618104LadyRegistered On: June 27, 2018Topics: 7Replies: 481Has thanked: 444 timesBeen thanked: 2344 times
- February 4, 2022 at 11:16 am #618177
- January 31, 2022 at 10:11 am #616881Catherine DicksonLadyRegistered On: January 22, 2020Topics: 36Replies: 270Has thanked: 332 timesBeen thanked: 1664 times
I feel similarly and I’ve read that this is sometimes known as “autogynephilia.” It just means that you fantasize that you are a GG. I’ve talked about it a little in this forum, but I’m not sure how acceptable it is to discuss, so I’ll just say you’re not alone and it’s perfectly ok to have those feelings. Acting on them is potentially a whole other thing and you’ll have to determine how ok that is for you. I pretty much feel like a female in a males body all the time. I love my wife and I would never do anything to jeopardize our relationship, so it will remain a fantasy that I only satisfy partially with dressing as a woman.
- January 31, 2022 at 7:35 am #616850AnonymousLadyTopics: 0Replies: 0Has thanked: 0 timesBeen thanked: 0 times
- October 24, 2022 at 5:07 pm #685594Nikki Just NikkiLadyRegistered On: September 29, 2022Topics: 10Replies: 261Has thanked: 1627 timesBeen thanked: 1650 times
Agree 100%. I am not at all comfortable with the language of pathology and medicalization of gender expression. The idea that this is some kind of illness or defect is abhorrent to me, and does a profound disservice to everyone who has found the courage to fully embrace their identity. It’s not an addiction; it’s simply who we are, regardless of the lengths we go in our expression of ourselves.
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