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OK. Take 2.
I’m trying again to get this poll question right.
I’ve heard before that the right question is more important than the right answer.
🙂
thanks Elisa, IMO this second poll was much easier to answer than the first. Are you going to write an article for CDH after you gather and analyze your data? Could be interesting.
Hugs, Krista.
Krista. Girl! I hadn’t thought about that. Maybe I will.
🙂
Part of that question is easy to answer: I dress part of every day, all of at least three days per week. The other part, not so much. I’m convinced I’m really a girl who just can’t “pass” the physical; but I don’t lose any sleep over the discrepancy.
Being fully accepted would be great, but I can accept merely being tolerated.Hugs,
BettylouOh,my! Thank you, Gwyn, and you can. I just had to first accept that that’s who I really am, and second, know that it’s OK….and it is.
Hugs,
Bettylou
I am aleays dressed in some way every day. I find femme clothing more comfortable.
I have no dysphoria. I know I am male, and always will be, but I love being dresses as a woman.
Paula
Paula, I really identify with what you said.
I sometimes feel a little dysphoria, but I know I am a man. My dysphoria is really about what I want rather than what I am.
Do I want to live as a woman or as a man? Of course the question is mostly irrelevant for me. I HAVE to live as a man for my and kids.
I can’t bear the thought of destroying husband and father.
Great question, Joannie!
As I understand it, dysphoria is literally an uncomfortable feeling. It can be a feeling that something isn’t quite right, something is out of place, or you simply don’t know something you think you ought to know.
It terms of our gender, dysphoria has to do with either feeling like you are in the wrong body (that your self-image doesn’t match your body) or being uncertain or unsure about which gender you want to be.
Some crossdressers don’t experience any dysphoria. Others experience a lot.
Since clothing is a significant aspect of gender, it is not unusual that many crossdressers experience some dysphoria.
I hope that helps.
I’ve never heard it described like that Elisa. Brilliant. But I am afraid my dysphoria goes much deeper than clothing.
Mine too, Gwyn. Mine too.
Much deeper than clothes.
well Elisa, i’ve always thought that if the gender boat doesn’t tip, even just a little bit,when you slip on panties or pull the pantyhose up nice and comfortable…if a new dress doesn’t thrill you in a way nothing else can, you’re either Dustin Hoffman, dressed as Ms.Doubtfire, or else, Gene Hackman in The Bird Cage.
So, I looked up ‘dysphoria’ on the internet (why not?) and I found this one listing – “Because dysphoria is not considered a diagnosable mental health condition, it is not formally divided into different types.’
They then gave 3 general types of dysphoria – Tardive (related to overuse of anti-depressants), Premenstrual, and Gender. Hmmm. Interesting company we keep.
Another listing gave 14 signs of having potential dysphoria, and two other sites gave their own definitions -1 a state of unease or generalized dissatisfaction with life. 2 = a profound sense of unease or dissatisfaction.
I wonder what it takes to be profound and how many of the signs and to what degree you have to have them to be -not – diagnosed.
Anyway, over the years, I’ve just learned to live with my inner conflicts. If I have any dissatisfaction, it’s that I’m just not dressing enough, but there were two times I did dress for about 3-4 days (and nights) straight and those were truly quite enjoyable.
Hi Elisa I voted constant cross dresser no dysphoria ,I cd everyday and have done for nearly a year ,my cd is only the wearing of female undies for most of the day I hope that counts ,as I have said before I would love to live as a women full time but I have the family to think of ,one day it may happen Michelle xx
Elisa, Hmmm, this is a difficult question to answer for me. I think if I were not able to express my feminine side in any way, then maybe I would have some dysphoria. But, that is not the case for me. I often (most of the time) wish I could express that part of me more fully and more often. But, I do underdress 24/7, and occasionally get all dressed up and leave the house. So, I guess at this point I do not think I have gender dysphoria, because I am content with the knowledge that I can be myself, at least in little ways, whenever I want.
That being said, this is not a constant. Feelings can change fast, and I think I would be deeply distressed if I were to find out that I couldn’t wear my feminine finery anymore.
Birel
Hi ElisaI truly believe you are trying to understand the mind of a cross dresser When you use terms like dysphoria It changes the whole conversation I believe that is a psychological term meaning I need help, I am in distress. Fortunately there is help for those who suffer with dysphoria. Things like HRT, Surgeries, simple thing like voice therapy can help also. There are those who have committed suicide as some of already said.I believe you know that also. Try and take the word dysphoria out of your pole. Make it a little more simple if that is possible Maybe try How often do you cross dress? Simple some responses may be DAILY WEEKLY MONTHLY. Then there are the other responses like :WHEN EVER POSSIBLE, I AM ALWAYS CROSS DRESSED even when showering ECT ECT. The desire, need ,passion to express that part of us that we believed was wrong, for any reason, self inflicted or societal expectations or both. We simply want to express how we feel about who we are as simple everyday people. Some of us are satisfied with in private and alone and others want to express it full time all the time I believe that is the spectrum If you can create a pole that that simplifies that spectrum. Then you are just beginning to understand the mind of a cross dresser. We can very simple to understand or we can very complicated depending how much you want to understand. Its time now to do my daily shopping. What shall i wear? Male clothing? No not in the mood. Fem clothing? Getting warmer. The old combo go too . That’s it. That just how I feel today
Luv Stephanie
I voted “occasional crossdressing, no dysphoria”. Currently my dressing at home is extremely limited and the primary occasion I do dress is attending my CD/TG support groups meetings. Now that COVID restrictions have been lifted, I’ve decided to start getting out and about more frequently presenting as a woman; not doing everyday errands but for certain “girly” occasions such as clothes shopping or socializing at a LGBTQA?+ bar.
Elisa, it’s Scarlett and I try to get my total girl on at least once a week for a full eight out photo shoot performed here at our dream home all by myslelf in full up Scarlett mode!
You can see from the results of my photos I take this thrill of my cross dressing quite seriously. My goals are to capture the physical attributes of Sexy, Classy, and Cute in each and everyone of my photos.
I try and not to make my photos all about me by adding interesting props and backgrounds to each and everyone of my photographs. I add constant color to my pictures by using props consisting of colorful stuffed animals or characthers, fresh colorful flowers, boxes, jars, and packages of foot items, and even other colorful clothing items I may be holding up in certian photos. I also mix up the background of my pictures by constantly moving from room to room in this spacious dream home of our’s. I don’t just want me up against a blank wall with each photo – definitely not my style at all! I’ve even venture out on the front porch or in our spacious back yard for a variety of backgrounds and scenery.
I’m also constantly experimenting with new and differnt styles of femme clothing. This past month I’ve been dabbling into the world of femme workout clothing which I find extremely sexy these days in today’s local gyms. The workout wear is getting sexier and sexier with each passing year. The girls don’t like to see me in this sexy style of clothing because the sexy high waisted long leggings cover up most all of my legs!
When you go to my profile page and click on my public photos, you will probably see the widest array of femme clothing you have every seen on a cross dresser before!
That’s it for now and I hope you all have a wonderful weekend!
Sincerely, Scarlett
I love crossdtessing and presenting myself as a woman. These past few years, Ellie has emerged and being her fills me with joy and happiness which I no longer feel as Ed. I am in Ellie mode full time now since Covid, and have returned to work and social groups I was involved with for years before as Ellie. I was anxious at first, but Ellie’s acceptance by far outweighed her rejection (sadly, there is some), so it became much easier. Most importantly, my family and those I love and am close To accepted Ellie early on. Without that, I would probably be an unhappy and conflicted mess right now. That said, when I reflect back on my life, I am not unhappy about or regret being a male for my first fifty to sixty years. I have always felt a strong female side, but until about 55, she didn’t demand to come to the forefront. By sixty, she became insistent, and by 65, I only wanted her, no desire to be male anymore. At 68, that became my reality, and I have been so happy now as her. So I voted full time with no dysphoria. But if for some reason I could not be Ellie now, it would devastating. I have no desire to ever see Ed again.
I’m definitely an occasional crossdresser with no gender dysphoria. I am not surprised that most who replied to the poll share this perspective.
I think as heterosexual boys explore sexual thoughts about the opposite sex during puberty, some use articles of female clothing and porn as proxies for actual contact with girls, because while the former are not easy to get, the latter is virtually impossible for most, or taboo.
It’s no surprise that this adolescent exploration can lead to a variety of fetishes, among them crossdressing. This can last a lifetime, and seems to evolve or escalate depending on the outcome desired.
I think this type of crossdressing is the most common and distinct from the type of crossdressing related to gender dysphoria.
Do girls crossdress as a form of sexually exploring the opposite sex? I’ve no idea – I’ve not heard of this, but I suppose it is possible. Girls perhaps use their imaginations more than boys; as I understand it, boys are more susceptible to visual stimuli.
Very well articulated, Alexandra, and I totally agree. There may be some who object to your view of cross dressing as a fetish rooted in adolescent exploration, but I think it applies to many of us (myself included). I would not say it’s 100% fetish (if that’s what you meant, which very well may not be the case), because many of us describe a variety of other elements at play (relaxation, temporary escape from reality through fantasy, creative expression, look/feel of the clothes, general desire to emulate women, etc.). I too am not surprised at the results of this poll – they once again reflect the wide spectrum of cross dressers within the wider transgender spectrum itself.
Part of the reason for the lack of study on female relationship to cross dressing is because cross dressing is only male to female since the-early 60’s pants were considered men’s clothing and women to skirts and dresses…dress codes are dictated by social acceptance only…even the Christian community has nullified any argument since it accepts current women’s fashion…
luv Stephanie
Now those are some great options!
Frequent crossdressing, some dysphoria for me. The actual amount of dysphoria is still up for discussion though. Some girls seem to know exactly what they are, it’s more blurry for me but I know the general direction.
Frequent crossdresser with mild dysphoria I think ? In my senior years now, I have been crossdressing at various levels all my life and think if I had been stronger emotionally and accepted it at an earlier age my life may have taken a different path, but now I am ok with being male but am much happier being female as often as possible. I would like to turn things around now and live my remaining senior years as female and only occasionally return to male. So for now mildly dysphoric but eventually either at peace or reverse dysphoric ? Either way, I’m happy !
I left my dysphoria behind when I decided to dress everyday, even if it is just panties under my jeans. This has allowed my feminine nature and perspectives to attain an equal value with my masculine life, which I loathe to give up. In trying to balance these two images of myself, I have developed a more complete sense of who I am.
Right now I am an occasional crossdresser (Covid reduced opportunity immensely) with A LOT of dysphoria. I had one of the first opportunities to dress this spring and have since had a couple of more. The first time after hibernation due to circumstances related to the pandemic really set me off. I haven’t been able to ‘come down’ like I normally have in the past. The dysphoria is really intense and I have never experienced it in this depth before. I am seriously considering a therapist for the first time.
I honestly had trouble answering the poll and almost passed on it simply because the word dysphoria…that word like labels makes why I cross dress now opposite…I am nowhere near distress because of my cross dress quite the opposite it has in many ways liberated me from trying to define why I cross dress …ohhh I still wrestle with the question but not for my benefit but to help me frame my answers better for others …. I do not consider my cross dressing a dysfunctional quite the opposite my cross dressing has been more functional in my life … my cross dressing has exposed me to a whole new world of beautiful people who are so misunderstood by society and by ourselves …none of this is a dysphoria that I am going through society is the one with the dysphoria…they are more at unease or discomfort by my dressing…
I think I understand what dysphoria means – a profound sense of unease or dissatisfaction. And not a mental health diagnosis.
If that’s what is pretty much agreed to, then I don’t have a profound sense of unease or dissatisfaction. I probably might have qualified years ago, depending on how ‘profound’ things can be, but life being what it is, I’ve faced my issues and made my decisions and am now living with them.
A sort of mantra I tend to remind myself of is, if you’re happy then you can’t complain about anything that happened in the past, because all that got you to where you are now. If you’re unhappy, then start doing things that will make you happy, and once there, then you can’t complain about….etc. etc.
Sure, there are times when I think that I would have liked to have followed through on my inner desires (I’m just a human after all), but I’d also like a $1M, too, and that won’t be happening either.
Sometimes I sort of wish things had been different, maybe if there had been vocal and reasonably findable support groups, way back when, I might have ventured a lot further into exploring my desires. But way too many things have happened now that would never have happened, 3 children, 4 grandchildren, lots of friends (who appear to like me!). You know, the ‘It’s a Wonderful Life’ trope.
I don’t think any community would have gone into a Potterville situation if my life had gone in a different direction, but so many lives would have been affected and changed…and not occurred, and I surely can’t say for the better or worse, but you never know. My extended family are all healthy, reasonably happy and even successful people, that I just can’t imagine them not being here.
Do I still cross-dress? Absolutely, any reasonable chance I get, maybe not as much as I’d like, but I enjoy every minute.
Now, this is me, and I can’t speak for others, but considering my little mantra above, if you do have a profound sense of unease or dissatisfaction, chances are you are unhappy, and chances are so are others around you. Maybe consider doing what does make you happy. It may drive some away but I suspect so might continuing to be profoundly uneasy or dissatisfied. But it also may bring you closer to others who will share in your happiness. No guarantees, just a suggestion. My best wishes and hugs to you all.
Note – this is my 2nd attempt to consider the question, as I didn’t vote with my previous response!Hi Stephanie! Thanks for your thoughts.
Please don’t think I am down-playing the significance of gender dysphoria. I know from personal experience how serious it can be.But I DO think dissatisfaction is a significant part of dysphoria. In fact, the two words are almost synonyms. They both begin with the prefix dis- (dys-), which is a negative particle in Greek (from which both words get the prefix). “Dis-satisfaction” anglicized the prefix from dys- to dis-.
Satisfaction is the mental condition of being content with something, while -phoria is simply “feeling,” as in EU-phoria (a good or pleasing feeling).
I know some people experience dysphoria because their body does not match their gender identity. Others experience dysphoria because they are genuinely uncertain about which gender they want to be.
I think dysphoria generally comes from some kind of dissatisfaction with either their biology or their gender.
But ABSOLUTELY, this is very serious stuff.
As for crossdressing, if it isn’t wearing the clothing appropriate to one’s gender, then what is it? Are you suggesting that we shouldn’t use the term “crossdressing”? I’m just trying to understand what you mean.
If I understand your argument, a biological male who identifies as female by gender is NOT crossdressing when he wears female clothing. Do I understand you correctly?
Hmm. You are right; I will have to conduct a different poll.
Thanks again.
One could argue that wearing mans clothes is crossdressing if you identify as transgender! And so logically, wearing women’s clothes is gender appropriate, and not crossdressing.
Perhaps you are trying too hard to simplify the un-simplifyable?
Sorry. I am not trying to be a bitch. I’m just a stickler for accuracy.
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