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    • #395522

      I have cross dressed for many years. When I was younger the urge to Cross Dress was always there but not as strong as the urges are now that I am older. I am not sure if it is age related or that we have more people who admit to having the same desires as I do because of the internet. All I know for sure is I like being feminine and wearing women’s clothes every chance I get. My urges to cross dress are becoming more consuming and stronger and I want to dress up more and more. My question is this: Have your urges to Cross Dress gotten more powerful as you have aged?

      If so why do you think your desire and urges have gotten stronger?

    • #395583
      Anonymous

      Now at 74, I get out with friends,3-5 X per month. I have been out in public since the 1960’s, in my 20’s.

      My wife is giving a Formal Tea for all my girlfriends and Their Wives, next week. That would never have happened years ago!

      Dr.T.J.

    • #395620

      Hi everyone,

      July 30th, 1947

      I am exploding with femininity! I just finished a long message with my bestie talking about all my wonderful feminine wants.

      Wow!

      Lee Ann

    • #395623

      Hey Vanity,

      I’m gender fluid and if I like women so much, why not look like one.

      For me it is pretty simple, being a woman, or at least trying to be one, is better place for me. It is truly my comfort zone.

      Lee Ann

       

       

    • #395624
      Anonymous

      I think as I have aged, that I have come to accept my true self and shed the false shell of being masculine. I voted yes.

      Kay

    • #395632

      I clicked yes, but in my case, there are others reasons to crossdress more…empty nest, currently without a girlfriend, working almost exclusively from home.More opportunity=more crossdressing!

    • #395633
      Anonymous

      I have been reading the poles and forums on here and other sites for years it intrigues me me to here other peoples thoughts and life events that crossdress as I’m sure it dose for many of you.

      I’m no expert nut in this case here is what i think causes us to dress more as time goes on.

      1 – We have come to terms with our fem side and don’t fight it.

      2 – The world is changing and we are more accepted we feel liberated and free to dress.

      3 – We condition ourselves to be fem more and more, even in our drab male cloths hiding our silk and lace panties and thongs so we have a 24 7 connection to being a crossdresser.

      4 – W are making up for the world repressing us in our early years.

      5 – We have gotten good at it.

      6 – Most of us have come out to wives and family, as soon as this happens it’s why not.

      7 – We have by now achieved a rather hefty wardrobe,

      8 – As time goes on you get a little less excited unlike mabie as teenagers it would always end in self pleasure and mabie finding it hard to resist it causing dressing to stop earlier then you set out for , this act makes dressing feel not just wrong but dirty and perverted to, Take this away and you have a peaceful elegant unhurried time to be yourself .

      9 – The internet happened OK there’s more porn online about transgenders than anything else now but if you look around safely you find safe havens like this one, where you can come and feel normal and see not only are you not alone you are far from being abnormal 1 in a thousand or so that you thought, not only that but your part of a group of people that as it turns out are kind Loving sweet and caring people wanting to accept you in to the family and help you all the way.

      10 – The internet happened Ok thats twice lol, but it’s true growing up apart from negative jokes you saw hardly anything positive or normal about crossdressers – transgender or gay people and you were all classed as the same whether you liked it or not. there were no safe places to find information about these things like today, using it we can also buy cloths breast forms guffs corsets wigs even feminin prescription glasses to your door.

       

      We are from an age where what we are was taboo, Like many Gay men marrying as it is the right thing to do, just like them we repressed our feelings and tried to live a normal male life.

      The kids today have access to not just the internet but books magazine articles, tv documentaries, counseling in school, there Doctor as everything is so open now even talking to friends.

      Which is why you will see very few crossdressing young people on the net in the closet so to speak as they have not grown up with the hang ups we had, trying to battle our own demons be our own counselor therapist and confidon’t, the world has changed for the better.

       

      we are now fighting the feelings we had to live with growing up and we are slowly winning the fight xxx

       

    • #395734
      JOJO
      Lady

      As I got older I became much more confident in my dressing. I believe that it is part of an ongoing process that develops over time and you build upon that process.

    • #395743

      With age, women’s testosterone levels increase significantly, while those of men drop. Eventually, with increasing age, everyone’s testosterone levels decrease.

      I think the desire to dress increases as we age, due in part to our biology.  I became very interested when I turned 65, partly out of  availability and partly out of desire.

    • #395753
      Stevie Steiner
      Managing Ambassador

      The urge to crossdress has been pretty consistent for quite some time now.  I do not think the desire has increased ( it’s always been high ), but the opportunities to crossdress have increased much more.  Certainly the opportunity to indulge my urges has increased, but the urge itself has always been there since those were the kind of clothes I always wanted, and felt I should be wearing in the first place.

      Stevie

    • #395760

      I will say that some of the posts I have seen on CDH talks about dressing as a stress relief. For me that is so true, when things go bad at work and pressure is high, I can slip a cute dress on and my stress level goes way down. I am no scientist or highly educated researcher, but I can personally attest to cross dressing taking my mind off of whatever is causing me grief during my daily life. I do want to dress and be feminine more and more everyday..

    • #395907

      You described me perfectly, Stephanie.

      Lee Ann

    • #395943

      Absolute more as I’ve aged!

      I chalk it up to self awareness/acceptance and learning how not to give a ‘curse word’ about others opinions and judgement.

      Not everyone gains wisdom as they age, but some do.

    • #395957
      Patty Phose
      Duchess

      I’ve been wearing stockings, pantyhose, heels and bras since I was 4. I was fortunate in that I had female family member support. I so wanted heels and dresses in my size, but mom thought if dad found them we would both be in big trouble, so I was limited in what I could have. So instead of a dress, I would wear  shirt that looked like a short dress. I would look in magazines and department store catalogues, seeing all the wonderful pantyhose, stockings, garters, lingerie, shoes and pretty dresses. I wanted them all and dreamed of having them.

      When I was 11 or 12, I outgrew the heels and bras I had been borrowing. I so wanted my own. At 13, I began buying my own pantyhose. I loved sheer to waist ad that was all I wanted to wear. New pantyhose was wonderful. No runs or holes, and new pantyhose had an extra special look and feel to them that disappeared after the first wearing. I loved getting new pantyhose. Still, I wanted all the clothes. I wanted the bras, panties, dresses and shoes too. All I was wearing was my pantyhose with a shirt.

      Then when I was 17 I saw Daisy Duke. I had to wear what she was wearing. I had to look like her, I had to be her. I couldn’t wait anymore. I went out and bought several pairs of short shorts and platform wedge heels. I was totally euphoric when I wore them with my sheer to waist pantyhose. I hid the shorts under other clothes in my draws and hid the shoes in the trunk of my car. I would put on my pantyhose and short shorts and hurry out to my car. Then I would put on  pair of the platform wedges and go driving around really enjoying my Daisy like legs. Soon after, I got the urge and desire to get out of the car. I would just opened the door a bit at first, then open it more. Then I would get out and  stand there. Then walk around the car. Then go venturing further until I was actually close enough to people where I could be seen. That was so exciting.

      I began doing it more and getting bolder. I had some teeny athletic shorts that I didn’t have the nerve to wear out. I also had some long shirts I enjoyed wearing that looked like short dresses. I wanted to wear them out but with sheer to waist pantyhose, but. if the shorts happened to creep up, that could be bad. I began wearing the shirts with the teeny shorts. The teeny shorts became like my panties. I began growing my hair longer. I was going en femme inspired by Daisy.

      With my sheer to waist pantyhose, teeny panty shorts, dress like shirt and platform wedges and longer hair, I wasn’t fully like Daisy but I was closer. I definitely had the desire to go out dressed like that, but it took a long time to get the nerve. I did it a little at a time, getting a  little bolder each time. What I  considered my ultimate triumph and accomplishment was going into a store in that attire and buying more pantyhose. I chickened out a lot but I finally did it. I was so nervous and so excited. I began going out in that attire often. I was always nervous but wanted to feel that excitement. I got bolder. I began looking at all the other great fem clothes I dreamed of having one day. I began trying on sexy stilettos. I had to have them one day. I was often very scared and nervous when doing this but the excitement and thrill was too much to resist.

      Then one day it all came crashing down. I was in my sheer to waist pantyhose, teeny shorts and platform wedges. I had picked out a bunch of pantyhose I was going to buy. A girl told me she liked my pantyhose and asked if what I was wearing was what I was buying. I panicked. I put down the pantyhose and hurried out of the store, got into my car and drove home, swearing I would never do that again. After a few days and thinking about what had happened, I thought I could have handled it better. I was just taken by surprise. I wasn’t expecting to get asked about my pantyhose. I went back to the same store in the same attire and bought the pantyhose I left behind. I was hoping to get asked about my pantyhose again. It took while but I did get compliments on my shoes, pantyhose and having nice legs and got asked if the pantyhose I was wearing was what I was buying. At first it was very scary but I didn’t run off. I began to look forward to getting noticed. I seemed to get mistaken more often then not for being a girl. I guess with my longish hair and what I was wearing it shouldn’t have been to much of a surprise. I even met a few girls who realized I was a guy but liked how I looked. I even got a few dates out of it, including a girl who helped me go fully en femme and my wife.

      My dad was not pleased with my longer hair. He said I looked like a girl. If only he knew. For me I was trying to look more femme. I was trying to look like and be like Daisy Duke, while hiding my pantyhose, short shorts and platform wedges.

      When I turned 18, I got my own place and began buying ll the femme clothes I had wanted so bad for so long. The wonderful pantyhose, the stockings, garters, lingerie, bras, panties, pretty dresses and I finally got my Daisy Duke wigs. I was in a store one day buying some more pantyhose, bras and some panties. A girl behind me noticed my legs in my pantyhose and noticed what I was buying. She asked me if the pantyhose I was buying is what I was wearing. When I turned to answer her, she was surprised I was a guy. She noticed it in my voice. She was intrigued with my attire and my interest in the other things I was buying. She helped me develop my Daisy Duke character and was great at doing and helping me with my makeup.

      Then we went to a college Halloween party where I unveiled my Daisy Duke character calling myself Debbie Daniels. I was a big hit. I got lots of compliments on my costume and character. I got hit on quite aggressively all night by guys and girls. I met other dressers there who invited me to join them at their parties. And I won “best legs” and “sexiest costume”. It was an incredible night and amazing experience. I began going to all the parties. I was even venturing out on my own for brief errands, and walks in places I felt was safe. I even cut my hair shorter so my Daisy Duke style wigs would fit better. My dad was pleased I was finally getting rid of my girly look. If only he knew why I cut my hair.

      I had been dressing fully en femme a couple of years. I often went out in my sheer to waist pantyhose, short shorts and platform wedges. I didn’t quite have the nerve to go out fully en femme. It was partially femme. My androgynous look. I met a girl one day while out androgynous. She noticed my legs looked so nice, shiny and smooth. I noticed her legs too looking like that. I thought she was wearing pantyhose. I wanted a closer look. When we passed each other I could see she was. I wanted another look. to see her from the back. When I turned, she had turned too. we exchanged smiles. I managed a feeble hi. She told me my legs look so nice. Shiny, tan and smooth. I thanked her and told her I was wearing pantyhose. She was intrigued. She never heard of guys wearing pantyhose, but thought they should. It makes their legs look so much better. Then I complimented her on her legs and pantyhose. She told me he likes to wear them. Her legs just look so much better.

      We hit it off very well. we spent a lot of time together. Then a couple of weeks later she surprised me showing up at my place. I was surprised and happy to see her. I invited her in, forgetting about the femme clothes I had lying about. She noticed them and her attitude changed. She thought I lived with a woman and was going to leave. I figured since she already knew I wore pantyhose and platform wedges she might be accepting of my other attire. i told her the clothes were mine. I wear then for fun and to parties. Sometimes I wear them out. I know it’s silly but I find it exciting and fun. She seemed suspicious but asked me to show her.

      I went in the bedroom and put on one of my favorite and sexiest costumes with full make up. When I stepped out she was stunned. She could not believe how pretty and sexy I was. She liked it. I was often dressed as Patty when she came over. One day she suggested we go out shopping together as girlfriends. In my couple of years of dressing and going out fully en femme, it had been in safe places, not the real world. This would be a whole new step. I was very nervous.

      I walked from the house to the car. I was nervous but I had done that countless times before. driving to the mall I was nervous too but I had been out dressed and driving many times also. parking and seeing all the people around made me really nervous. I was scared to get out of the car. I was worried but being seen. I just wanted to drive away. After some coercing I opened the door and slowly stood up. I looked around. So many people. I was looking for reactions. I didn’t notice any. I grabbed my purse and shut the car door. We began walking towards the entrance. I was scared. I didn’t even want to know if anyone was looking at me. I stopped at the entrance. I was scared to go in. Once inside I was trapped. At least outside I had a chance of escaping to the car. We walked into the mall. The place was mobbed. I began looking around seeing if any danger was coming. I noticed some people looking our way. Were they seeing a pretty young girl and a guy in a dress? Or two pretty, young and leggy girls? No one seemed to be bothering us so we continued. I was beginning to get excited about being out fully femme. When we went into store and began looking at all the pretty and sexy femme items, I was so excited about getting and wearing them. That day we both got  lot of new and wonderful things.

      We began going out more as girlfriends. I would ask if I should go as Patty or my male self. She told me to do what ever I wanted. I stopped asking and just went as Patty most of the time. we seemed to have more fun and there was always that special little shopping trip where we got some more special clothes. we were not just boyfriend and girlfriend. We were girlfriends too. Today I still dress as Patty nearly everyday. We are still girlfriends and still go out as such, but not nearly as often as we used to. as much fun and exciting as it is, I don’t need the far and anxiety that often comes with it. We are more selective of where and when we go out.

      Sorry for the long story.  I get carried away at times.

    • #395975

      Definitely stronger. Maybe even a bit obsessive with me….. I just placed three orders yesterday for various tops, skirts, dresses…..shapewear…etc. I am wasting no time now after having repressed my feminine side for many years….

    • #395977
      Lea
      Lady

      Yes, my urges to dress have become stronger. I no longer think of stopping, I think of that day of being free someday.

       

      Reasons…

      1. Knowing I’m not alone, weird, crazy. Thank you CDH, the internet, and more awareness out there.

      2. More confidence. Crossdressing and age have made me a more confident person at home, work, many things I try

      3. No longer wanting to lose good years. Lesson learned from many others stories on here, don’t let life go by

    • #395992
      karley delaware
      Baroness - Annual

      Hi Vanity Fair, yes my cd urges have increased as I have gotten older.  In my younger days, it was a quick dress up, sexual release followed my guilt, shame and extreme secrecy .  These days I dress for longer periods wanting to experience  the feeling of being femme, being bolder in going outside, thinking femme, followed by sexual release with NO shame or guilt.

      So why is that? Well, when I was younger , I was programed to think of sexual identity as binary…………….but with life experience and a changing society, it is really a spectrum.  CDH has helped catapult me from binary to full spectrum thinking.  The girls here with their wisdom, sharing experience and friendships has helped put me on a “fast track” to help “make up” lost time.

      My therapist has commented CD is more common than  one might think and is a matter of degree.  Maybe some really “macho”  guys are hiding that struggle, the Blue/Pink mental war  with their A-holiness?

      This site is such a refuge from being mentally “beat up” out there.  At lot of times in the closet I imagine me and the others here having an outing laughing and being silly girls.  It REALLY HURTS me when a girl suddenly leave this site.  I know life as CD can be……complicated……….it’s the not knowing that eats me…………….I have known four, and I continue to think about them…………..I guess that’s one painful aspect of being a girl……………relationships mean so much.   Guys could never understand how deep and painful that is……………………..karley

    • #395999
      Kelly Lee
      Duchess - Annual

      (A lot of posts that I need to take time to read but I feel a strong urge to reply my self)
      I been interested in crossdressing at different levels since early teens. In the beginning I collected a small pile of stuff that I purged with each move I did.

      Then marriage, kids and life became more important so the cd had to be on the back burner for a long while. I still had a few things that I used now and then but it could be months between each time.

      Now I’m older (>50) and kids moved out I feel the urge much stronger. In 2018 it was strong enough that I did dare the step of joining CDH. For that I felt the need to come up with a name for my female side and I picked “Kelly” because I wanted something unisex. (the good part with that is that when I talk to my wife I can talk about “Kelly” instead of “when I crossdress …”)
      Just this last years I have left the closet more and more. Earlier I had the fear of being caught as Kelly but now when I’m older I don’t really care to much any more if family or friends find out about Kelly, and I almost hope it will happen, then I have more freedom.

      Is to why now – probably several things already said like hormone changes, more time, more secure with my self and such but really – why try to analyse it? I just think that the easiest way to deal with a temptation is to fall for it so now I enjoy exploring Kelly as much as I can.

       

      /kt

    • #396004

      The urge to dress and work on accessing my feminine side has gotten stronger.

      I think part of this is I’m retired and no longer have to deal with coworkers and the whole job thing. I don’t have a clue as to how many more years I have on this planet, but I want to make those years count.

      The other part is a slight shift in society. With more acceptance of alternative lifestyles today, it feels more safe than it used to be. Having a wonderful place like CDH is a godsend.

    • #396311

      It seems to me that wanting to crossdress has gotten to be more than it used to since I have gotten older. I don’t know why except that I have more free time now than I used to and its easier to find time for Janine time. The only thing that has changed is the clothes that I wear now. I wear clothing more for my age now than I used to, but occasionally I still like wearing a short skirt that shows off my legs. I’m more into jeans than I used to be and I enjoy wearing a tight fitting pair of jeans that shows off my figure like Levi skinny jeans do. I love the way that they look and they make me feel so feminine and girly

    • #396336
      Susan Sue
      Duchess

      Yes very much for me. I remember trying on girls clothes when I was very young child. As a young adult the need to dress up as a girl was always there but I went through long periods of time without girl time. Now in my 60’s I am dressing at least once a week and I think about it every day and would dress everyday if I could. My fantasy’s to be female have gotten much stronger.

    • #396379
      Emily
      Lady

      I chose yes, the urge has gotten stronger. But, I’m not sure that is completely the case. I do indeed dress more often, but I feel the reason s because it feels more “normal” to me. It feels more like who I should be. I used to almost do what I would call panic dressing. I couldn’t wait to be alone, rip off my drab clothes and get dressed fully female. Now the rush to dress is not so much drastic, but calming, relaxing, and necessary for my mental health. I am rambling trying to explain this in a way that makes some sort of sense. Not sure I have succeeded. Thanks for asking the question!

      Emily

    • #396425
      Anonymous

      Yesssss 100%

      When younger, like most, you have the self doubt, worry of being caught, even…am I gay??

      As I have “matured” haha…I have become so confident that ” this is me”, I know I’m not gay…. I’m just grace having the time of her life, even being caught…..just a WTF moment….. as Queen sang 🎶don’t stop me now, I’m having such a good time, I’m having a ball🎶…….and as Gen remarked earlier….” What a wonderful journey’

      Huggs everyone, grace ❤️❤️

    • #396516
      Caty Ryan
      Baroness

      For me .not so much a stronger urge, more cos I’ve been long retired and therefore have the time and $$$ to indulge more. (COvid lockdowns notwithstanding).

      After starting out with my mother’s clothes, I’ve been Caty with some form or other of her own wardrobe and accessories since my mid30’s. “Way back then” she could only emerge on business trips in a hotel room.

      These days when she can, she’s has professional makeovers and goes shopping, just like any other “mature lady ”

      But until we’ve knocked over this “Bug” that’s all on hold.

      Happy dressing

      Caty

       

       

       

       

       

    • #396758

      [postquote quote=396425]

      At no point in my life have I ever thought I was gay. BUT, that’s the first thing people generally think about crossdressers. That they’re gay men. WRONG.

    • #434322
      Anonymous

      Yes the urges definitely have increased as I have aged. I have also become a lot more emotional. Maybe the girl in me is trying to escape captivity?

      Holly 🤷‍♀️

    • #434335
      Anonymous

      Wow, interesting question! I would say yes, my urges have gotten stronger to both dress and assume the female role in a relationship with a man. My dressing has always been connected to my sexuality, and as I’ve aged I’ve become more emotionally attached to Haley and what she brings to my life. Since I met Steve though, I have really enjoyed being his girl, being held, told how sexy and beautiful I look, and providing him pleasure. I also enjoy doing “normal” things too…cooking, laundry, etc. while dressed.  Guess I just enjoy being a girl!

      Haley😘

      • #583428

        That sounds wonderful Haley, I am happy that you have this.

         

        • #583448
          Anonymous

          Well, old post! I decided to put that part aside for awhile, just try to figure who I am without anybody influencing my behavior. The last year, Haley is more tied to my “being” than my “doing”. Assuming the role as often as possible, but just doing regular stuff…coffee out, exercising, and I love being a housewife🤣 I decided that nobody that won’t be seen in public with me will see me in private, so my friend Steve is just a friend with memories now😉 Haley doesn’t need the validation like she once did.

          Haley😘

    • #435270

      Till The internet came about, I grew up not knowing what I was and thought I was the only one in the world who felt this way.

    • #435403

      I think so, but it may be the Covid Quarantine that is playing havoc with my perception, as I am really missing the opportunities that work-travel provided.

    • #545736

      Yes I’m finding the same. I guess everything can evolve in time as my crossdressing has become a big part of myself. I wear bras and panties daily, camisole and pantyhose in the cooler weather. I wear a lot of women’s clothes even when presenting as a man and find the need to dress and go out in public is something I truly enjoy.  I love this side of myself.

    • #545886
      Liara Wolfe
      Duchess

      I think my desire to be more feminine have gotten stronger over time because I realize how much time I have wasted keeping my feeling suppressed.

      Hugs, Liara

    • #545912
      Anonymous

      This has been popular topic lately and I’m glad because I think about it a lot. I answered “yes” but that’s not completely accurate. I don’t think they are stronger but certainly increases in frequency. There used to be more time between the ebb/ flow but not so much anymore. When I’m not feeling as girly, I feel like I think more clearly but maybe that’s just because I am not obsessing about finding some femme time. It’s a roller coaster 🤣

    • #583420
      Anonymous

      It has changed. I do want to dress up more and try more clothes with age. I started crossdressing at 13 try my mother’s sister’s tights, and skirts and dresses and anything that would fit me.

      In my 20’s and away to college I took and wore some old jumble sale items going through my then landlady’s care from the cupboard. in my room oddly. I had a precarious lot of female clothes to try. Tried here tights on lots. Feel a bit guilty, but hey. Then going into a place where I wasn’t in a B&B situation I started the thrill of buying my own tights. I briefly tried makeup for a freaky dress up event in the city and bought a few things to be an over the top punk girl.

      In my 30’s I bought a few leotards and many tights. Got married and admitted my love of these clothes and had great kinky times.

      In the time up until now I took up horse riding and then fulfilled my passion to wearing skin tight riding jodhpurs and tall boots. I cycle and love my cycling tights.

      In my 40’s I’ve bought heels, dress, skirts, catsuits, bodysuits, bras and many other clothes to try, I do if in the mood. But only in my later 40’s am I getting into more like trying my first wig and handbag. But I’ve never had a great urge to wear full makeup and outfit.

      My wife now doesn’t really want to share or talk about more then just tight clothing, I don’t think the female clothes are her thing on me, what can you do?

      So in 2020 I couldn’t try my first trans makeover annoyingly as the world changed with lockdowns! But I did take my second ever walk out in femme clothing in the dark with tall boots, black pattern tights, short leather skirt and warm female jacket with fir lined hood and handbag. I put my wig on but no make up. It felt not too scary but liberating. This was last Autumn and today I probably will for my second time. Not sure, see how I feel!

      So the nature of my crossdressing is expanding to the point where I can see myself trying more trips out. But first I am now going to get a makeover before I am confident of my face appearance. I am very excited to try more going out dressed in female clothing although I believe men should not hide being a man wanting to dress in what is perceived as female clothes. We should be finding our own styles of dressing with it. I see few obvious males chancing it frustratingly.

    • #583425
      C

      I agree with many of the girls above. I think in my case I simply became more comfortable with crossdressing as I got older. Society is more accepting, I am less concerned what someone else might think, and a bit “if not now then when” as you age.

      So, comfortable with my crossdressing, it does give a thrill to be well dressed out and about that I miss in drab mode. And yes, still jealous of GGs choices in wardrobe and make up!

    • #583456

      I have also secretly dressed since teen years off and on.  Now that I am retired and have time and means the urges have become more frequent and stronger. Since I came out to my wife and she is supportive, so far, I can and do usually dress somewhat on a daily basis.  In addition my wife had a tough menopause time and her libido has totally crashed and I think dressing is my way to deal with that development and at the same time takes pressure of is both.

    • #583521

      Time is a bandit, yes? For me, I really don’t want to waste time not being myself.
      I buried it for so long but the urge was always there.

    • #583524
      Anonymous
      Lady

      I was in the closet all my life until I grew older into my sixties and the desire became so intense that I came out to the wife regardless of what might happen. I was tired of hiding. I thought if divorced at least I would finally be free to do what I wanted, or best case, she would accept the female inside me that was screaming to be free. Luckily, after lots of ups and downs we are still together and I dress as I want within limits. It relieved my pent up feminine desires and she tolerates my dressing.

    • #583528

      I used to Crossdress occasionally never got the chance to do it properly. It left me but now it’s back like a flood. The only thing my wife wouldn’t definitely approve and because of her health I wouldn’t force it.
      Liz

    • #583567

      As the rest of the responses a out this topic I am just the same as everyone else.  Started early had interests about panties, stockings, bras, etc….  Back then while younger I can now say the interest was more a sexual thing. As Became older the interest shifted to wanting to learn about women and how to be more like them.   Now I am 51 years old and all I can think about is how soon I can leave work to get home to get in some dressing time before the SO gets home from work.      (She has no idea about Ginger).  I have graduated to now I want to present myself as the best female version of myself.   It Oakes lots of practice as you all know.   In the last eight months I have gone from rarely getting a chance to do anything feminine. To full on jumping in feet first.  I have gone for a total body waxing, then the next day a makeover and photoshoot.  Went out I. Public for the first time after the makeover as Ginger for lunch with the lady that did my makeover. After that we went shopping for dresses heels and a purse for a dinner date that I was going to to meet up with another girl from CDH.  The next few nights I went to a couple of clubs for a drag show, drag karaoke, and a drag bingo.  All of this for never stepping past the door as Ginger in public.   So to say that I have taken the urges to the max is an understatement.  I think that as we get older one factor that we overlook is that our bodies produce less of that pesky little hormone testosterone.  This makes us more feminine by nature, and this usually begins to decrease in the forty year old range. So maybe we are just succumbing to mother nature’s way of telling us it is ok to be the real inner you.

      Hugs and Kisses Ginny

    • #583587
      Angela Booth
      Hostess

      What a great topic! For me I would say that I have always had the desire. 

      Stephs neurological ideal is an interesting subject. I think that the brain is wired and you are born. Each of us has unique traits which make us what we are. Some are good at science some at arts  and so on. I won’t go into any debate about Male/Female brains but there is something there that decides how strong you are as a sex, and in simple terms, Alpha male to feminine male.  Having maybe more feminine traits would show in the desire to want to dress as a girl. Social and society conformity enforces the traits of the sex you should be and most follow and try to hide the feminine to do more masculine things. Regardless of this this we usually end up in a relationship and raising a family. So the feminine is suppressed. Of course there are cases where it doesn’t go away and it becomes part of life or on to hormones and surgery.

      As you grow older circumstances change and, it could be argued the hormones change too. The urge then comes back and Stephs ideal comes into play in reconnecting the wires to the feminine side and developing ,by repetition , a strong female persona. The more you do it the better you get.

      It’s my simplistic overview and is perhaps a reflection of my life. I feel I had a strong feminine side and has always been at the base of my character from birth. As I grew older the urge to dress was always there but opportunity increased so the visual aspect was developed along with learning and rewiring. I have the same body and brain, which is still learning, but  but now the outer view is near enough completed.

       

       

    • #584080

      I would have to say yes.  But as was already mentioned, it may be more about opportunity than urges.

      I’ve had thoughts about dressing as far back as I can remember.  I don’t want to go into a long history, but at least since 2 or 3.  I can say it was mostly about the silky clothing.  It made me tingle – not that I knew the word, but it tickled, made me shudder, felt scary and yet also felt good.  So it was a fetish even before I know what a fetish was or what sex was. I also had lots of forced feminization fantasies when I was young.

      With 2 younger brothers and an older sister, I didn’t have much opportunity to actually dress until age 12.  (I did have to wear my sister’s tights twice before that for a dress rehearsal and for a play at age 9.)  It remained a fetish through to my mid 20’s when I discovered that wearing a skirt was comfortable even after self gratification.  This was the time before the internet, when the only crossdressing you saw was the occasional female impersonator (drag queen) on Ed Sullivan, Flip Wilson’s character Geraldine, or Bugs Bunny.  (Milton Berle was before my time)

      But being married, then having kids, I didn’t have much of an opportunity.  Everything was done in secret, late at night or early in the morning.  As the internet came along I discovered many others, some of whom were out in public.  I envied them.

      A breakdown in my marriage led me to a transformation place near my home where I had my first makeover and first real trip in public.  (I had a few occasions to dress when my kids would be at band competitions 3-4 hours from home and were going to stay overnight.  Mostly it was driving in the car, maybe stopping for food or fuel.)  I wanted the opportunity to just go out in public once in my life.  We did the makeover (which included makeup lessons) and photos, and went out to the local diner.  I thought it would be a once-in-a-lifetime (or at least extremely rare) experience.  But this event changed my life.

      Within a few months, I started going to parties held by the woman who did my makeover.  It was 8-10 parties or events a year, about once a month.  Later they got fewer, but I joined another support group.   With all this, I gained confidence.  I got to the point where I didn’t care if strangers saw me.  I even started posting photos online, including full face photos.

      I’m now divorced, and live with 2 of my kids who see me dressed all the time.  I go out for walks in my neighborhood, have gone out shopping for food, picked up food from local restaurants.  I’m still not out to everyone but I’ve learned to accept myself.

      Summarizing, I would have to say the following, many which have been said by others before (and in no particular order):

      • I have more opportunity now.
      • I have accepted myself.
      • I’m more confident.
      • I’m less worried about being outed.  If someone I know sees me and recognizes me, I’ll deal with it, because I’ve accepted myself. Sure, I’d rather not, but more because I don’t want to deal with endless questions, not from feeling ashamed.
      • The world has become more accepting as more people come out as crossdressers or transgendered.
      • Perhaps I’m making up for lost time by dressing as much as I can.
    • #584114
      Anonymous

      My take is, with age becomes acceptance of who you are. Therefore no more guilt and stigma attached with dressing fem. I am lucky also that my SO is supportive, so yes, dressing more and loving every minute. 💋

    • #584191
      Anonymous

      I can see more and more we go through a similar process but different sets of experiences. I have found a strong “I don’t care what anybody else thinks.” to support me trying to go out for the second time a year ago, now I firmly am looking forward to try a makeover. It is about self belief that we owe it to part of ourselves, the surppressed female part within. Stopping the guilt takes a very personal journey I think. I do envy the young who are just allowed to be fluid then decide over time, but honestly does it matter as long as we allow our hearts to try and explore in our own time. Big steps then smaller steps. As long as we don’t surpress it. I found my second ever going outside at 47 compared to a fun student bash when I was about 23, strange, calming and not a big ordeal! I let the pressure off and it was an orderly get dressed and go. This is just a female trait and that’s it.

    • #584201
      Sylvia
      Lady

      Dear Vanity ,

      Have your urges to Cross Dress gotten more powerful as you have aged?

      Yes they certainly have !

      If so why do you think your desire and urges have gotten stronger?

      For me it’s simple : because my Feminine side didn’t get the time in my life to explore her side enough. So now Sylvia is catching up at a rapid pace !

      For the past two months since being on CDH , I have bought a lot of Fem things I never owned before , like panties and my first bra.

      I was already bying more Feminine attire for myself the past two years ,  but the past few weeks  intensified my “shopping  spree” for Female attire.

      I am starting to feel more balanced as a person now and I’m wondering where this

      will all end up.

      Being Androgynous is all about balance so I am very happy both my sides are getting the attention now that they need !

      Love Sylvia.

    • #584499

      Love this topic.  Absolutely!  For me it was the realization that I was in my fourth quarter of my life and I didn’t want to waste any more time not exploring my other side.    I care less what people think and don’t want to leave this world with regrets.  Of course life issues change…kids get older and don’t take as much time or are not around, retirement provides much more time to be Carole and I figured it was time for me to finally accept who I am.

      carole

    • #584879

      I wouldn’t say my desires have gotten stronger or weaker. My problem is I am feeling very frustrated that I feel I’ve gotten too old to go out and be dressed as the young girl that I still so want to be.

      I’m past my prime and wish I would have found more time to explore my femininity back when I was younger.

      I’m just a frustrated young girl at heart. Maybe my dreams will come true if it’s possible to be reincarnated. One can only dream of the possibility.

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