- This topic has 16 replies, 15 voices, and was last updated 2 years ago by
.
- Posts
I recently started officially dating again, after three years of being single. If feels both great to be out there again, and intimidating at the same time. But all of a sudden I am faced with the reality that I like being Jamie and I don’t want to let her go.
Unfortunately the vast majority of women out there really are not comfortable with a guy that wears panties and skirts and likes to shave his legs and torso. So I am now facing that dilemma that we have all had to deal with. How much of Jamie am I willing to part with for a chance at a committed relationship, and what parts of Jamie are really part of me and therefore here to stay? I’ve gone two weeks now without even wearing panties. I feel like I’m no longer being true to myself.
I’m not really seeking advice, as this is something that I need to sort out on my own. But I felt I needed to say something. Because I know I’m not alone. And I know This sisterhood at CDH is behind me.
Thanks for listening…
My best advice if you are seeking a new relationship is to be upfront and honest with who ever you meet as you never know if they are accepting till you ask them, and being honest at the onset will save headaches and heartaches later on.
There are a few of us here who are lucky in having supporting and understanding partners, and believe me we know that they are worth their weight in gold!
I was living full time fem when I met my partner and have now been together for over 35 yrs, so have never had to have the difficult conversation after committing to a relationship, but have supported a lot of couples who have… often ending with poor results.
So dont give up hope, just be yourself, be open honest and proud of who and what you are.
Hugs
Dawn
I know you didn’t ask for advice, but how are you approaching dating this time around? I’ve been married to the same loving and tolerant woman for 30 years, so I have no experience with the resources available now. But if you were to feature interests in a profile on an online site, which skirt (pun intended) around the feminine aspects of your personality, you’d be sorting out many women for whom butch guys have more appeal. My wife recently told me she prefers I be a husband who understands some of what it’s like to be a woman, rather than one who frames sports jerseys and puts them on the living room wall.
Hell, being a tomboy carries no stigma nowadays, and many men (myself included) are attracted to woman who know their way around a workbench and aren’t afraid to get greasy (in a purely platonic sense…ahem).
They’re out there.
Jamie, we all must compromise some things in our lives to move ahead. I do not know how much you would be willing to give up, but too much is just not healthy.
Change is inevitable, but you control how much, don’t let another person say how much is enough as they will want more.
When that big conversation happens, stand your ground and only give up what you think is necessary. Your feelings about your life matter just as much as theirs will.
PaulaF
Jamie that is always such a delicate balance. As Paula stated life is full of compromises, you can’t live within society and not make some. And we all should bend to accommodate others when possible. But we can’t bend ourselves into something we are not either. A committed loving relationship though… Someone who “gets” you, warms your heart, and makes everything in life easier? That’s a Holy grail, what more could one ask for? But it has to be someone you can be yourself with, and feel secure and at ease sharing yourself with. Anything less and it’s wasted potential, and probably wasted time.
Not sure where I’m going with this hon, just that you just cant have a serious or committed relationship and not be yourself. Anything else is a sham, and both parties deserve better.
Of course this is all predicated on one knowing ones self first!
Stevie 🙂 🙂
Ohh Jamie so many of have us have been there just where you are at. If nothing else we have all learned here this is just a part of you that will never go away. You can purge and deny as much as you like. Most here will say honesty is always best, but finding that special one to love and support is enough of a challenge without our dressing. I was not brave like so many here. I stayed within the CD/TG community for so many years but never found that special one that I was willing to commit. I dated a post op trans woman I thought was the one but even she told me she preferred me not to dress and look so feminine it was just too much of a turn off for her to accept. So I just did what so many have done here. I hid and collected my clothes only went out when opportunity presented it self. My wife was one of the many wives that found out the hard way. She found my clothes in the trunk of my car. I give her so much credit for taking the time to learn what cross dressing is and what it is not. The lying and hiding is what hurt her most. I have come to the conclusion as many have said here honesty is the only way to go but first let her get to know who you are as a person . Let her decide what she will accept if she will accept it at all. I can say my wife and I have been together for almost forty years. We have gone through so much in our marriage my desire to cross dress is only just one of them. I wish I could offer more advice than I did. Good Luck and much empathy
Luv Stephanie
I feel you Jamie. When I was married I tried everything to let Dani go but I never could, and it ultimately ended the marriage. I have also found few women interested in me as I am now. Although I enjoy being in a relationship with a good man, I still would prefer to have a female partner. I have given up on that idea and have accepted being the “special woman”in a man’s life. Good luck with the journey.
I Know exactly what you mean!! I have hooked with another CD and enjoyed every minute!! But as far as a life partner or companion goes I would much rather have the right woman..But for now I love exploring the fun life of crossdressing and having fun with CD partners!!
Yes, I think the impact on romantic relationships is potentially the biggest life hurdle we face as CDs. I am not into women, but I can certainly imagine most are not cool with their guy being a CD.
I date men, but it’s been a problem for me too, although to a lesser degree I imagine. Men who like me as a CD typically just want the quick hook up. Which is not so terrible, TBH 🙂
However, the men with potential for longer term relationships tend to not be interested in Jenny. It’s a struggle. But at this point, I’m intent on not settling for any guys that aren’t attracted to me as Jenny.
Last two regulars/BFs both objected to me dressing. Attracted to me only in guy mode. And ultimately, that led to the end as I want to be Jenny in the bedroom most of all.
It’s gotten a bit lonely at times, but Jenny is who I want to be and I want a man who is OK with that…:(
I have found the hard way! Stay true to yourself! I tried to push Marcy aside for my first GF and it was the most Hell I ever had to endure!! I got so luck when I met ,my now late wife. She excepted Marcy and even encouraged me to be her more often!! My late wife took all the pictures of me in my wedding dress> Unfortunately she passed away. If I meet another woman and she does not except Marcy then she would not b the right girl for me..I would rather be Marcy full time than have to give her up again for anyone!!
Best of luck sorting everything out Jamie, and I hear you on that, I went through the same thought process initially before getting into a relationship with my boyfriend. How would be feel about my dressing? Would he accept my CD side? Fortunately he was okay with it and very supportive. I feel really lucky.
We’re here for you Jamie whenever you need us.
Just a quick update. The relationship didn’t work out and we’ve gone our separate ways.
I came home and immediately shaved! Feels so good to be smooth and feminine again. And wearing a bra and panties, and a skirt.
Gonna be a long while before I try dating again. And my femininity will be part of the package from the first hello.
Sorry Jamie,
Don’t give up. They are out there. I hit the jackpot with mine. You never know when fate will reward you. Yes, you have to be up front. I told my wife about me on our third date. I am so glad I did.
Hugs,
Steph
Jamie, sorry it didn’t work out. Personally, if I had to start over, I’d be open from the start. Although that’s easy to say. I would just hope I found an SO like many here have. Keep the faith
Much love,
Raquel
Hi Jamie some meet seems like they meant to be but then they not don’t give up hope to soon. Heck took me 8 times so far the 8th one been with me now for 2 months. Really great guy helped me alot through my ups and downs. Treats me like a real lady very gentlemen like. He knows all about my transitioning and 100 % behind me on my choices. Like others have said. Be open and honest.
Wishing you the best
Donna
- The forum ‘General Chat “Life as it Goes On”’ is closed to new topics and replies.
Recent Comments