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    • #683239

      Two strange experiences. Many years ago, before virtually anyone, even myself, or so I used to think, had any understanding or acceptance of crossdressing, I had a couple of referrals concerning crossdressing issues. One was from a colleague who had discovered that her son was crossdressing. She asked for my advice., which left me, as a secret crossdresser, floundering as to how I could respond. I am ashamed to say that all I could say to her that she should encourage him to develop more boyish, masculine interests. Absolutely no help at all, probably quite the reverse.

      On another occasion the wife of a highly respectable member of the local community referred him to a psychiatrist, who in turn passed him on to me for “testing” because she had found him crossdressing, with the implication that he had some sort of mental illness. He was a tall man, who SEEMED to be “all-male”, although, of course I knew different. I have to confess that I was so embrassed that I hid behind my professional mask; just gave him some tests, and did not even refer to the issue that had brought him to my desk, not having the courage to do anything else.

      All so very unhelpful and worse, but that was Britain at that time. Clearly, plain wrong, unhelpful and inappropriate. I am not sure that things don’t sometimes happen in that way now.

      All this against the background of my finding and taking for myself, a lot of lovely feminine clothes from a bundle which had been left at a clinic to be passed on to a local charity shop!

    • #683247
      Thea
      Lady

      Hi Amanda: what a really interesting question! I had a career in  UK health care, but can’t think of many crossdressing issues.  I was part of the team caring for a trans lady having surgery on the mid 80s and got to know her quite well. She certainly taught me to be open and normal: I hope something I practiced dealing with many trans patients over the years: years before wondering whether I was on the same path.

      Early in my career I was asked to take under my wing a young man who “had an issue with ladies under wear”.  In my ignorance I didn’t understand (though was already aware of my own need to be feminine, though I didn’t associate it with certain clothing). He shadowed me on a busy A&E shift: proved to be more empathetic and helpful than any of the medic students, and went on to have a brilliant nursing career in cardiac care.

      Not sure if that’s relevant to your question! Sorry if not! Lovely to meet you: do contact me if any of my musing is of interest!

      Hugs Gabby

    • #683516
      J J
      Lady

      We all learn and grow (hopefully). There is no point on dwelling in the past other then to learn from it. As we learn to deal with these issues in ourselves and in others it is important that we pass that knowledge and tolerance on to others. We don’t need to be open about what for many of us is a very private matter, but we can show empathy and support for those who need it. I am, and always have been a big advocate for those not “normal”, being a bit different from “normal” myself. I don’t need to announce my clothing preference to support others who do.

    • #683587

      Amanda:

      Probably the most important outcome from those 2 situations is what you learned, personally, that would work to shape your thinking going forward. It goes without saying that mistakes are made; ALL the time. Often we learn as much, or more, from failure as we do from success. You were presented with situations and while the immediate response was sub-optimal, eventually you understood what a good response should be. I would say that is a net gain…

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