Dealing with your voice

[Geraldine Mac]

I was just reading a recent CDH article by ‘June’ about getting out and about in heels, and how she generally tries to avoid conversation that will give her away – but how she has stopped stressing about it when it happens.

I feel the same. While I feel that I am semi-passable (or am I kidding myself :-), I also don’t worry about giving myself away with my male voice. I overcome any possible discomfort by actively engaging with the bar person, sales assistant or cashier.

For example, when a cashier at a cosmetic shop recently complemented me on my motley coloured nails, I told her that they were just press-ons, and that I had ordered them from the UK.

When I started going to a local club en femme, where my membership card has a photo of me as a male, I just joke with the staff that its just me without the wig 🙂

While people can be surprised when the voice comes out differently to what they were expecting – it’s just surprise or confusion – not necessary a negative reaction.

As has been said so many times in these forums – most people really don’t care.

Geraldine

[Peggy Sue Williams]

Hi Geraldine!

Congratulations on achieving complete enjoyment of cross dressing!  Very few of us can achieve that illusive goal of being 100% passable.  We can stress out attempting to reach an impossible goal or look our best and go out and enjoy ourselves.  I choose the latter and always have fun on my outings.  As you note, interfacing with the public is a rewarding experience, even when they know you are a male in female clothing!   A CD, an opportunity to educate the public and have fun doing it.

My favorite?  The compliments I get from women.  They are very validating and make all the time one spends getting ready for the day well worth it.  There are even those rare compliments from males sometimes too.

[Geraldine Mac]

Thanks Peggy Sue. One of my best complements was when I recently went for a beer with my best friend for the first time en femme. While he had seen photos, he kept telling me how much he was in disbelief when he seen me. But things almost normalised when he heard my voice:-) Geraldine

[Rozalyn Richards]

Hi Geraldine i think you are quite passable i wish i looked as good as you, that’s what i need to work on my voice I’ve got a rough tough voice of a mature old man and when i sing i sound a bit like Lea Marvin with a sore throat,lol X

Hugs Rozalyn X 🎀

[Geraldine Mac]

Rozalyn, thanks for your kind words. Reading your reply I immediately started humming – “I was born under a wandering star” 🙂.

[Angela Booth]

Looking as passable as you do is key to how people react. What they see is a woman and although the voice may be out of kilter with the image it is still believable. All I do is soften my voice, talk quieter and hope for the best, even if they are a bit unsure they deal with what they see as what it is. In general interactions that are short and sweet, such as store staff, their focus is on checkout or a quick inquiry so it’s automatic responses. Obviously a longer conversation is where someone can assess more as the voice isn’t right but how should they react? Basic customer service for staff is courtesy and respect for all patrons they serve regardless of any protocols regarding LGTB+ customers.

When engaging with someone outside that environment is quite different as this is the clincher for those of us who dress and go out into the world regularly. Firstly friends and family, if they are quite happy to go out with you to any place without any issues then you know you are just fine. When I came out to a friend and went out together I asked if she was okay and she replied that if I didn’t look as good as I did would she wouldn’t be going out with me. Women are said to be more accepting which is quite true and when among female friends I am one of the group and the conversation can be quite fruity and not the content spoken if a man was present.

An interesting point you made about a male friend Geraldine as I had the same experience. After coming out to a long time friend and after him seeing photos we finally met up. At the end he said that he didn’t know what to expect but within five minutes everything was normal and he didn’t feel uncomfortable at all. It has been the same reactions with other male friends . I should add that it isn’t all roses  as I have been rebutted by one male and one female long standing friend who do not accept it, I respect that but it has to be expected, in my case it is only two out of so many.

In the many years of being out and about I can agree with Geraldine in that some people just don’t realise and others just don’t care which should be an encouragement to those who are thinking of taking those steps outdoors.

 

[Roberta Broussard]

There is a wealth of information and voice training tips on you tube. It takes some focus and some practice, but your voice can be improved. However, keep in mind that as GG age, often times their voice will deepen. Especially so with smokers. So don’t put the farm up for sale. Most people go with what they see and not what they hear. If you look right and act right, the voice is not that important.

[Julianna Frances]

I try to avoid speaking if i can, i kinda feel out the situation, there were a few times where i just said screw it… what’s the worst thing that can happen? It’s really only been speaking to cashiers while picking up lunch or coffee.
There was this one time i did get really anxious in Target when my card was not working at the self checkout…i started panicking thinking an associate was going to come over….i was ready to leave my stuff there to avoid speaking…

[Paula]

I avoid speaking if I can. If I have to I’m not gonna hide from it. I got rear ended at an intersection last year. I had to talk to the police and the guy that rear ended me  all while in the intersection area with car’s passing and stopped  but I wasn’t rattled or being dressed didn’t bother me at all. I was dressed in shorts and a sleeveless key top shirt with flats.

I do talk much more softly and in a lower tone. I also have a disability that affects my balance coordination and speech, I slur my words and sound drunk most of the time. But this is me and I’m very confident while dressed and don’t have a care in the world in what people think when I’m dressed but that’s just me.

[Lauren Mugnaia]

Hi ladies,

For this topic, I’m possibly the exception as I’m transgender and have transitioned. I started dressing as my true self and going out in public years ago and had already been practicing speaking in a feminine voice. As Robert says: “There is a wealth of information and voice training tips on you tube. It takes some focus and some practice, but your voice can be improved.”

As a trans woman, living and working as a woman, legally a female, speaking in a feminine voice is, to my way of looking at it, crucial if you don’t want to be misgendered all the time. I’ve been told by those I work with that I do pass and nobody would ever think otherwise. I have friend who is a trans woman but does not speak in a feminine voice, and she gets a kick out of how people respond when they realize she is trans. I, in view of the current attacks on transgender people by the right wing wacko creeps, would rather be able to “fly under their radar.”

Hugs girls,

Ms. Lauren M

[Fiona Black]

All most of us can do is try and talk a little softer and a little slower and hope for the best. But as others have said if you work on your look, your clothes and your female mannerisms the reception you get will generally be better, especially with GG women.

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