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Hi everyone. I’m Debs from the UK.
You’d better make a coffee and sit down. This is quite long!
I’ve not dressed for a while now since my wife and me adopoted a little boy. He really is the centre of my universe so I can’t see me getting back into dressing anytime soon.
Like most I started when I was about 3 or 4, then things took off at puberty. I passed up the great opportunities of the New Romantics as I was into “RAWK!”. Talk about a lost chance to wear all sorts of makeup and girly clothes!
I sneaked the odd pair of tights from my mother but something switched one time when I saw an interview on a youth TV show with someone who was a guy fully dressed (New Romantics again!). This made me think I’d like to go the whole hog with the dress, makeup, heels, hair as well as the hosiery. I nicked pieces or makeup, a dress, some heels and loved getting fully dressed, though I had a good few close calls (thank god for the bolt on the attic door!)
I missed another great opportunity to express my femme side at university, especially being at one of the most progressive in terms of LGB issues (the “T” wasn’t really part of that then).
After my degree and only after a few more years of postgrad study I discovered this new thing called “the internet”. Using Lynx browser (anyone remember that?) I discovered that there were lots more like me, guys who wanted to dress like women, to be accepted as a woman. This was another tipping point. All the previous missed opportunities were down to shame and the idea I could actually go and buy and own my own female clothes. It’s a stupid thing to think that it took so long for me to realise this, but it blew my mind. This was so radical. Now I saw what women were wearing and started to wonder what I’d look like in it
Shortly after I got my first job so celebrated by a grossly over-priced makeover at a certain well known chain of shops catering for the CD community and, once I moved into my own place, the start of a female wardrobe. I bought a book on makeup, a cheap (and nasty) pallet from Argos and practiced. I found a local support group and went there to meet more people like me. I was dressed in public for the first time and loved it
Shortly after my long-term girlfriend came up and joined me and I had to confess to her. There were tears, but I’d recorded Just Like a Woman for her to watch which helped her come to terms with my dressing. I carried on derssing for the local group then got a job abroad where dressing wasn’t really an option (I managed a Hallowe’en costume as a witch which was fun)
We came back to the UK and moved to Manchester when I started going to the Northern Concord group in the Gay Village and things really took off. I ventured out and went shopping en femme. I was loving it.We moved house to a quiet cul-de-sac where we had neighbours that saw everything that went on, besides which I had purged my wardrobe. My g/f (now wife) tolerated my dressing rather than supported it anyway which didn’t help.
Fast foward again and we moved, again. I wanted get dressing again, so did a bit, at home mainly. I went out shopping en femme once, went to a support group once (that didn’t work, ended up arguing with the other members who were actually rather racist) and went visiting a friend a couple of times. Besides that, I was really keen on becoming more androgynous in my daily life. I got so far but it kind of petered out, in that I bottled it. I was also an avid user of Second Life for a while, strictly as a female avatar (I got outed a couple of occasions, mind, when my voice changer didn’t work LOL).
Then we started the adoption thing, got and had another purge and I wasn’t bothered with dressing for a while, being busy with our little star. That was until just recently.
So here I am, wanting to dress, to be accepted as female, gender fluidity/subclinical gender dysphoria (call it what you will). I’m online living my female life vicariously for now.
Apologies for the long post, but I’ve already been into the chat rooms and met some lovely people so feel very welcome
Hi Debs and welcome to CDH.
Rachel
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