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Did you ever suffer from abuse from your spouse? Specify after she found out you crossdress. Did the fights go beyond yelling and screaming?
Well that’s what happened to me over 20 years ago with my ex-wife. Something I read today gave me flashbacks of my past. I thought this was something I would forget about, but like what they say. You never forget
To tell you the truth, that fear came back, the look in her eyes, and everything came back. I will be fine, just having a moment of flashback blues.
You know, and I know, That I will get a grip on this, because I know she can’t hurt me no more. Beside if she did try Venus will take care of it her way, farmer style.
Hippie
Hi Hippie
I was reading your other post and your conversation with Sam.
I did many years ago with my ex-wife. Verbal abuse mostly, mental in the rest.
It was really strange with my EX being she had worked in a salon and her best friend was a gay man who dressed up. That was Ok, but I wasn’t.
She supported me initially but with raising kids I put it away for many years. Started again a couple years ago but still hid from my son. Now when I joined 4 months ago, I’m going out as Robyn on the weekends.
Yet she would always dig me on little stuff like letting my nails grow. Calling them Fag–t nails yet she would still cut and file them!! I used to work with Hydraulics many years ago which forever cured me of biting my nails…YUCK!!
She would purposely mention it at times of anger in front of the kids. She was a real charmer.
Total confusion with her. Divorced her about 2 and a half years ago. CD’ing wasn’t even involved. Best thing I ever did.
Sorry for my ramble…but yes…been there and done that.
xo Robyn ❤️🤗
Yeah, the abuse was there before she found out about CDing. It just became a thousand times worse after she found out.
As for the nails, I get it. I am a farmer and my hands are in everything. From car engines to something’s you don’t even want to think about.
I still keep my super short, because they get caught on everything, and it’s safer to.
Hey at least they are painted a chrome purple though. You ever notice you just do your nails to perfect and then something comes up and ruins your hard work.
For me, I spent the last couple of days replacing water pipes and hard freeze on the in laws place and I just done my nails that day.
I HAVE TO SAY IN SPADES… NOT EVER!
I have never had any abuse from my wife in any way or in any form!I’m having difficulty in understanding any one who has this problem!
If you’re having this abuse… get the fk out! NOW… THIS VERY HOUR OF THE DAY! Go, don’t come back… if you have to leave everything and just depart… every hesitation, Will cost you your life!Please Polly
I voted yes after some deep thought. When my X found out she threatened to tell my brothers and mother. After listening to this for a couple of months I started to come out to my family. So far I’ve told 3 of my 4 brothers and 3 nieces. One niece is a mtf trans girl.
So far I have had no negative reactions from anyone, and I am happier and more relaxed about my own cross dressing.
SandyAnd the ammunition that some people could have used against us has been fully disarmed. It is absolutely so freeing Sandy.
Liv
My X wife hit me regularly over our 14 year marriage. That’s why she is my X.
Caroline
[postquote quote=450456]
ABUSE: From the 1st wife, a nurse, big girl.She was daughter of a psychiatrist, mother committed suicide, as did a sister and step – brother. People who at dinner would through plates of food to the wall if mad.
She liked her wine, liked to slam doors & draws, and throw objects. She pounded on me, physically and mentally. After 14 years I filed for divorce. She still gets a third of my Army retirement. Never knew about CDing.
2 n d Wife, a totally beautiful sweetheart. Has become very much accepting of my CDing. Life is good.
Dr.T.J.
I answered yes because I realised that I had been mentally abused for many years. It took a bit of time to get it into my thick head what was going on, trying to keep the peace by giving in all the time. I had been married for 33 years before it twigged that I was being repressed AND it had nothing whatever to do with crossdressing, I hadn’t even started that then. Living alone, then married a 2nd time made it perfectly clear that I had suffered for years, thinking that I was at fault even though I was trying my best.
Yes, ripped a blouse right off of me and clawed my face, wanted to permanently scar me so I would look more like the freak I am as she told me. A neighbour called the cops and I had to leave, blouse ripped off me and bleeding. Cop told my wife I deserved it. Equal rights for all, yeah, my ass.
Hi Hippie, a very touchy subject for me. I wasn’t going to write anything. I answered yes to the poll. Mental abuse and I’ll leave it at that and I don’t believe it has much to do with being a CD. My wife has issues that a counsellor uncovered and my wife refuses to deal with them. Let’s just say we have worked out a way to live under the same roof; getting a divorce would be too stressful for both of us. Nuff said, stay healthy, stay safe, Hugs, Krista.
Thanks for taking the time to write. I know how hard it is to talk about some things and this is a touchy subject.
You won’t believe the timing. After I posted my comments to your question, I went to make supper. It took about an hour. then my wife came down for supper and out of the blue, she started a conversation about crossdressing. It is like she knew that I needed to talk about it. Up till now, she shut down any conversations I tried to start but tonight we talked for at least 20 minutes. It was quite pleasant. Holding out hope that this may be the start of more communication between us. Fingers and toes crossed. Take care, Hugs, Krista.
Krista…
Haallalueya! Glad to hear the Wife is starting CD conversations. Good for you two.
6 yrs. ago when my wife of ,then 30+ yrs., found out when she came home earlie than expected, didn’t want to talk at all. Counciling for 4 yrs. helped. Then she would buy buy me a bag, some makeup, or a scarf… She still didn’t want to see me dressed. Then she started cretiquing my outfits. Then her sisters and we went out to lunch. Here in Washington, State, she gave a Formal Tea for my many girlfriends AND their spouses!
Now we are talking seriously about a business / school ” The ART of CDing”.
Giving a chance to have a few days of education about this ” thing we do”…from every aspect.
Love to you…& yours…
Dr.T.J.
No abuse because of cd with spouse #1 (never told , she never found out) but with us parenting a child and then her walking out leaving me and the toddler so she could ‘find herself’ well that’s close to emotional abuse to me and to the toddler I continued to raise. If she ever does find out about my cd-ing , what she has done prior would be child’s play to what she would do now.
I voted yes. When my ex-wife discovered I was a CD she reacted very badly. I became a fix it project. I won’t go into the details. Lets just say the ‘re-education program’ amounted to several years of mental abuse. I eventually sabotaged what was left of our marriage with copious amounts of alcohol.
Yes, ive suffered abuse, from both my marriges. 1st one, didn’t last long less that 1 year. She caught me dressed up in her g/f panties and bra that she had just kicked out of our house. After that, she cheated on me and got physically abusive as well as verbal. After I left, with nothing but the clothes on my back and I lost everything. She outted me to friends and family. I was able to cover it up mostly. My mom already knew and accepted me. As far as the second wife, just got word today that I’m divorced. 😁 Happy happy, joy joy. We just lost 16 years. It was very early in our relationship that I came clean. First month or so. She was accepting, so she said, but her actions didn’t match her words. Not long after getting hitched, we moved from Arkansas to NOLA. It was a good move. I really had no future in Arkansas anymore. Being a retired dope cook n dealer, it was great because she helped me get clean and stay that way 15 years. I’m thankful for that. As time went on, we had our first domestic incident within a few months of living in NOLA. I went to jail for defending myself after she got drunk and wanted to beat on me. 2nd time in 2012, we both went to jail. My mom told me a few months before she passed, I needed to get away from her. I didn’t, of course. There were times, she seemed ok and open to it and then others nothing. She had and still has a drinking problem. I’ve tried our entire relationship to help her and even get her help. She never saw a problem. She always worked either in a bar or restaurant. Bars mostly. She never could come home after her shift ended and she got on the patron side. I remember once, she brought home another woman from the bar, total stranger, neither of us knew this woman. Our 3 girls were home, it was a school night and she wants to have a threesome. I being the wholesome man I was raised to be, said no not tonight it’s not the right time, setting, and circumstances. Well, she left with her friend to go make out in our front yard. Whatever… After that, a few times she would dress me up occasionally, usually when we both were drunk and I guess it was ok with her.
We both agreed that being in NOLA the most open place I’ve ever seen so far in life has a very large LGBT Community. Haven’t found anything yet, but I haven’t really looked very hard either. That didn’t go over either, even after she asked me once if I would be willing to have an open marriage. I said HELL NO being the southern man I was raised to be. I wasn’t raised around that lifestyle. My mom and dad stayed together until my sister and I were grown and out living our lives. In the end, recently she kept saying I had stolen her womanhood. I don’t see how I did this as I always asked before dressing and if she said no, I didn’t press it. Just straight hetrosexual. She always reverts, to one time, I came in from work late one night, she had candles lit, new sexy lingerie on and was ready for me. I jumped right in bed and began ravishing her. A bit later after sex, she asked if I wanted to try on her new panties, I being me said yes of course, if you don’t mind. She said no but apparently she did because she forgets that part of the story everytime she’s told it to her mother, our kids and God knows who else, I know for sure she’s told most people she hangs with at the bars she frequents too. I don’t really care at this point, she’s abused me enough at this point. She still to this day doesn’t have an answer to the question I’ve had for years. Why was she ok with it at first but changed later? I was a male more than I ever was female with her. I think she just wanted a way out and that was the easiest to go with and for her to do, go or be with whoever she wanted. Anyways, that’s 2 marriages failed from my being a crossdresser. I’m free and doing me now. I really don’t care anymore who knows and who doesn’t. They’ll either accept me for what I am or not. It’s their choice and their problem if they won’t accept me. I’m moving forward to see if this is truly what I want or if it’s just been a fantasy. I’ll have my answer soon enough. Wish me luck, ladies,. Natalee is free and ready to get out in the world. My gosh, there is sooo much more to say in this reply but I’ve been typing for almost an hour now. Anyways ladies, if you want to know more of my tramattic marriage, feel free to contact me and ask. I’m not hiding who or what I am anymore. Oh, one more thing before I go to bed. In the last few months, she had a TG woman come into her bar and catch alot of flack, comments and just rude behavior from men and women alike. My ex now, defended this girl and accepted her. She says, now she understands how she made me feel but hasn’t made any attempt to change anything. So, she’s just a narcissist, nothing more. I’m glad the trash took itself out because I have been happier and less stressed since the day she moved out. It hurt knowing that she cheated on me but I’m past all that now, mostly anyways. It’s gonna take more time to completely get over it all but I’m making big strides and changes. Hit me up if you want to know more of my troubles, I’ll be glad to help, offer any advice I might have(not alot since, I’m still working on coming out the closet) and just be a friend with an open ear to anyone that might be going through the same hell as I did. Goodnight ladies!Love y’all ❤️😘
re: my first wife…
There were no fights but she laughed at me for a long time, then she had a series of affairs before finally falling in love with someone else, it didn’t last of course but neither did we.
Lisa T.
You must like Lord of the Rings…
Isn’t that Gwenyth Paltrow in your ” RING” picture?
Dr.T.J.
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