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Hi
Just a bit of background.
I am a 65 year old who just started transitioning mtf. I have been on HRT for four months now. It took over 50 years to get this far. There are a number of reasons for that. I was born in the mid 50s when everything was gendered. in the late 60s and 70s when I was in middle school boys .were not allowed to take Home Ec. They had to take shop. The same was true of high school. Boys were not supposed to play with dolls, etc. I’m sure most of you know how it went. My father did not believe in boys doing girlish things. If I saw something in the newspaper about Christine Jorgenson and tried to ask questions he would just say those people were sick. I wore my mother’s clothes in secret and soon learned not to speak of it in the house. I also learned that you never said anything to your friend either. I made that mistake thinking it was in confidence and soon found myself the object of ridicule and much worse. I kept quiet. Like most I dressed in secret of and on throughout the years. I did what society and those close to me expected of a male. I finally took the plunge after three failed relationships. I am much happier, although still hesitant (very) to present myself full time. I know a lot of it has to do with the past. Now, the reason I write this is because I was at my counselor’s today and she mentioned she had other transgender clients of whom I am the oldest. She mentioned they spanned the generations. As it was the end of our session I did not have time to ask her whether the younger generations (mid life and younger) found it easier to full time in public. I have taken small steps and getting to show more and more my femme side. So, to now take a long story (and thanks for bearing with it this far) here is the question. Do the younger generations find it easier to present themselves in public in full female mode? Curiosity has gotten the better of me. TIA for your answers.
Thanks for sharing your story Rachel.
Yesyesyes I feel it is definitely getting easier for the younger generations.
In the UK anyway there has been a great push in recent years for acceptance of, and respecting people’s choices such as sexual orientation, how we present how we look, expressing ourselves, etc. as long as we are doing others no harm.
And as the generations move on old prejudices and preconceptions will gradually be a thing of the past. I think it is these old societal expectations about how we should look and act which are such huge barriers in the mind of many older cross dressers. Whereas the young are encouraged to express themselves, not bottle things up, be who they want to be. Modern menswear is a lot more ‘androgynous’, there are ranges of men’s make up, men’s body hair removal products etc, which was not about in our generation.
It may be that most are not yet ready to go out in a dress and heels, but there is a definite progression in the right direction as far as ‘feminising’ how men look. Skinny jeans used to just in womenswear, now in menswear, fitted tees used to be just in womenswear, now advertised in menswear as ‘musclefit’. More spandex in menswear now, male runners in spandex! Hopefully someday we will all just be able to wear what we want to wear without fear of judgement or ridicule. As with most societal changes it may take a generation or three but I think things are moving in the right direction.
I also feel many of us at CDH are at the vanguard of this movement and should feel good that we are changing society for the better, the more we do it in public, argue in its favour, push the boundaries the quicker things will change.
Just my tuppensworth!
❤️B
Hi Rachel, being only 25 years old I am in that younger generation. To answer your question, yes I believe we feel it is easier to go out en femme. I go out all the time and have found young SA’s are very much accepting and willing to help me. Even the older ones are coming around and one older was the most helpful I’ve ever had. So yes I find it easy to present as a woman and it gets easier and I grow in confidence each and every time. I was very nervous at first but once you do it once it all gets easier.
Hi Rachel I’m Robin.Im 55 and find myself in a similar situation.I want to transition but I still have to earn a living.Because if health reasons I have to take herbal supplements in a short time they are working well as I have low testosterone to begin with.Its not easy I guess that’s why we are here.I want to grow my hair and get my ears pierced.Whats a woman to do.Have a nice day and thanks for article.I related well to it.
Rachel, your story is a virtual carbon copy of mine. I am 63 and although I am not physically transitioning, I find my female side getting stronger and stronger so I feel as if I mentally transitioned. I have been dressing since I was 10, and I was born in the mid 50s. I love my feminine side but have only recently started going out. What I have found is going out en fem at our age is rather easy. Today there is more acceptance, particularly from ggs. AlsoAt our age few seem to take much notice of we older women. I feel very comfortable out as Annie and enjoy it so much. Each time out I try to be more and more womanly.
Rachel, I’m of your generation. I’m 66 now, and turn 67 later this year. Though my parents weren’t as strict as it sounds yours were I still grew up with the same male stereotypical expectations. I started around 12, and went in and out of dressing for decades, often not missing it at all for years. Though I don’t feel the need to transition, I definitely feel the pull to be feminine getting stronger all the time. To the point where I feel like I could spend most of my time dressed up. That is if I had the courage to cross the family and social hurdles I’d need to do that. The thought of loosing friends I’ve had for 20 or 30 years is very painful to me, which is part of the reason I don’t believe I will go that far.
A little over a year ago I started going out completely en femme, and though some have noticed, most don’t. The younger generation is definitely more open is my experience also. However, the older gen is being influenced as our society is becoming more accepting in general. Depends where you are as well. Some places are much more liberal in their thinking than others.
In Canada we have had legal same sex marriage for about 15 years, which tended to bring alt lifestyles much more in the open than they were. When I was a teenager it was still a crime to be homosexual, as it was called at the time, and could be punished with jail time. I know that doesn’t always apply to us, but it was a another turning point when that law was changed in ’68 or ’69. Though I remember reading at the time it was quite controversial, a lot still thought those errant folks should be punished, or at least put into some kind of an institution for treatment. As the state can lead the way, attitudes can and will slowly change.
I think as older women we don’t stand out as much. Depends on your physical characteristics of course, but age seems to be a bit of a leveling factor. Faces and figures aren’t as lovely as they once were, and GG’s come in all shapes and sizes too.
Amy
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