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I would expect that some here are differently abled. This can be for any number of reasons: Parkinson’s, MS, arthritis, stroke, accident, etc.; basically any ailment that alters the physical operation of our bodies or our control over our bodies. So, the question is does that change how you dress, what you wear, how frequently you dress and any other way that your dressing might be effected?
For me, there are 2 issues that have shaped how I dress.
I’ve had arthritis since I was 6 (now 71). Fortunately, I am doing well compared to many who have had the disease as long as I have. Due to one ankle having about 20% of the usual range of motion, I have very particular limits regarding the heels that I wear. The absolute maximum difference, toe to heel, is 2 1/2”. To go higher requires a platform. Early on I had several pairs with a 4” heel and a 1 1/2” platform. I could do halfway decent at home with those, but I never wore them outside of my house.
Arthritis also comes into play regarding earrings, necklaces and back zippers. There was no point in getting my ears pierced because you need to be able to get both hands on both ears: one to pull on the ear to stretch the opening and the other to hold the earring and insert. I can only touch my ears with one hand as the other elbow doesn’t have enough flexibility. Therefore my earrings are of the clip variety. I’ve installed magnetic clasps on my necklaces so that I can fasten them in front and rotate. I can’t do back zippers. I have to enlist my wife’s help to do that. I like jumpsuits and have one that I bought early on with a back zipper. I’ve never worn it out as it complicates going to the restroom. Only ones that button in the front are workable. Dresses are not a problem as you don’t need to work the zipper in order to take a whiz. Now some might suggest one of those back zipper aides. The problem is that once I zipped it up, I can’t disengage the aide. Same would also be true for attaching it to unzip. As I said, my wife helps me, but there are sometimes when she is not around.
The second issue is that I had a mild stroke a bit over 3 years ago. That finally killed any hope of the 4” heels as my balance isn’t quite as good as it once was. Current limits are 3 1/4” heels with at least a 1” platform. When I go out, I take a cane with me, but I don’t use it at home. Since one hand is occupied with the cane, I usually take a small backpack, instead of a purse or a tote, to carry my iPhone, iPad, glasses, lotion tube, tissues, lipstick, nasal spray, blotting paper, keys, money, ID and credit cards.
hello Deeann sorry to here about all the bad health trouble you have . I had open heart surgery years ago and that put me into early retirement from age 45 and now 56. I have panic attacks, depression, high blood, but who does not? high closetrol, coronary artery disease. i love dressing up all pretty, but when I do its all over for male mode its all female dressing from head to toe. nothing like wearing female clothing that feels good and looks good, nothing like boring male cloths. I under dress a lot during the winter time here in Niagara Falls N.Y. keeps me warm and also the feel of a dress or skirt and blouse and nylons and bra and panties on under my male cloths. when I do have time when no other adult child is home my wife will tell me i can dress up, I do and was dressed up already. she has seen me getting dressed up and even one day sat next to me to talk about something. it made me feel so good with her sitting next to me for the amount of time she did. i have more female cloths then she does and wear them more then she does. so x dressing helps me with depression and panic attacks. woman wear pants and shirt so why can;t we dress up in a dress and look pretty? we are not hurting no one. wake up society x dressing is here and to stay, there is lbgt groups all over and they have a parade each year. they are proud and showing it.
Hi Deeann,
I am pretty fortunate just the normal aches and pains from being 55 now.
My wife has RA pretty bad so I sympathize with you sweety.
Bless your heart you have had your challenges haven’t you, I admire your resolution to keep dressing.
You keep on doing what you doing it sounds like you are amazing.
I have found we have to keep moving and doing what we love.You are an inspiration to all of us.
thank you for sharing hon.
Patty
CS:
Still won’t work for 2 other reasons that I didn’t mention. I don’t have full rotation of my head to be able to get a good view of one ear. The other side is OK. Also, some wrist rotation is needed and I don’t have full motion there either. Basically everything works, but in virtually every case the movements are reduced from what would be considered normal.
The thing about tugging on the ear a bit just gives a larger target to hit and reduces the possibility of poking myself.
My stash of earrings also provides little incentive to get my ears pierced. Along with the usual gold and silver pieces, I have a significant collection of vintage copper jewelry. These range from the late 40’s to about 1970. These are by well known designers and companies of the time (Renoir, Matisse, Rebajes, Bell Trading Co., Rame, Coppercraft and some unsigned pieces. The timing was such that early on was when the shift from screw backs to clips happened, so the majority were clips. There’s only one pair of screw backs in my collection and I’ve never worn them. I would not have bought them, but they were part of a set. I wear copper jewelry ~50% of the time, at least, as it is unusual and presents different possibilities for color coordination…
I have MS and use a wheelchair. The biggest impact on my dressing is I struggle with fine finger movements. I’d imagine it’s similar to the affect arthritis has. Any other challenges to dressing I’ve pretty much come up with workarounds for. I’ve been using a chair for 12 or so years.
I miss being able to stand in front of a mirror to see what I look like from the back. And the feeling when you put on a maxi or loose midi skirt/dress and just sort of shake back and forth so it twirls. Otherwise, everything’s pretty OK.
Dee
Hi DeeAnn, thanks for sharing and be so open about your situation.
I am dealing with a stoma since last year. Still new and I was afraid that I might hurt it when I wear shape forming pants or that it will shine through. As a man, now I prefer wide clothing, even though everyone around me knows about my battle with cancer and its “side effects”, just makes me feel better. Anyways Melanie likes skintight clothes, which are a little bit harder now to wear because of the stoma and the pouch. It is what it is. Thanks to a good counselor who knows about my two sides I found the strength and the guts (hahah) to deal with it. No, in contrary, it the whole battle against the cancer made me stronger and even more stubborn to live my life the way I should’ve years ago.
Mel
Hi:
Yes and no. Arthritis can have some effect on fine motor movements, but the greater effect is loss of range of motion. Medical folks tick me off because they are focused on pain. Over the years I’ve developed a fairly high pain threshold. It isn’t that I don’t feel it, it’s just that I tend not to react to it. Inflammation is what is important with arthritis as that is what leads to joint damage. I get asked “From 1 to 10, what is your pain level right now?”. I say Zero and that is because I’m sitting still. It is rare for me to have pain that isn’t associated with motion.
Anyway, my issues with fine motor happened due to the stroke. It didn’t seem to effect my arm and hand movement, but it did change how my right leg functioned. Fortunately that is now at about 90%.
I think when we talk about what’s going on for us, it helps to diffuse some of the anger and disappointment and longing for normalcy. Perhaps it is like releasing some negative energy.
There is something about chronic illness that doesn’t get talked about much and that is how it can work on your mind. With most illnesses, you know what the overall trajectory is likely to be. There may be plateaus and spikes, but the general direction is understood. Knowing that, it is very easy to slip into the abyss and that’s a place where you don’t want to go. Obviously therapists can help in this, but we can’t see a therapist every few hours. We have to take those learnings in the meantime and continue to apply them. And as what you said: “It is what it is.”.
11 years ago, my wife (Pat) had a bad bicycle accident that resulted in a spinal cord injury. Ever since she has used a wheelchair. She can walk with a walker, but very slowly. Clearly this had a considerable impact on her life and on our life, but the idea is to continue to progress to whatever degree is possible and definitely not backwards. When her father was still alive, he told me how the family was so happy that I had done such a good job in talking care of Pat. I told him that what I was sure about, in my heart of hearts, was that if the situation was reversed, she would do a far better job than I could. Several years later when I had my stroke, that was exactly the case.
I am a Sagittarian and one of our most prominent traits is that of optimism; even sometimes when it really isn’t warranted. But, I think that is a big factor in keeping me from falling into the abyss.
Anyway, while we are all dealing with our challenges, I hope that discussing what’s happening for us is useful. Doctors almost always work with the physical parts of an ailment, but not with the mental and emotional parts. It seems that we are often forced to do that for ourselves.
To all, Be Well…
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