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  • #679423
    Cerys Burton
    Participant
    Registered On: February 2, 2021
    Topics: 70
    Replies: 223
    Has thanked: 210 times
    Been thanked: 1834 times

    My wife and I were walking the dog in a local park. I was dressed sensibly. Black stirrup pants, long brown top. Denim jacket and ankle boots….
    I asked my wife if she would video me so I could see what others saw as I walked past them. She agreed. I walked ahead and turned around, and walked towards her.

    What I saw upset me. Rather than the smart woman I see in the mirror, I saw a fat, 55 year old man, dressed as a woman, clomping along. No mater that I have long hair that frames my face. No matter the make up. No matter how smart I thought I looked…. A fat old man. I thought that I was starting to look almost passable, so I wouldn’t look so obvious during my daylight walks…. Alas, this is not the case. I’ll not be fooling anyone any time soon πŸ™

    Cerys.

Viewing 5 reply threads
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    • #679660
      Eileen Bach
      Baroness
      Registered On: February 27, 2021
      Topics: 2
      Replies: 442
      Has thanked: 223 times
      Been thanked: 1774 times

      That was a great idea to make a video, much better than just a photo. As Alison said, work on posture and how to walk. Do you carry a purse? That helps where to put at least one hand.

      Look on the positive side, this video is the worst you’ll ever look. Your presentation will only get better from now on.

      4 users thanked author for this post.
    • #679648
      Cerys Burton
      Lady
      Registered On: February 2, 2021
      Topics: 70
      Replies: 223
      Has thanked: 210 times
      Been thanked: 1834 times

      I’m not normally one to worry about passability, For many years I was unshaven and had a tache. Over recent months, other than work and a few other times, I am dressed as a woman most of the time. It keeps my depression at bay, and helps me relax, and sleep better at night. I guess it sort of became normal. I found my style improving, I’ve learnt how to easily style my hair, I’ve started wearing a bra and make up…. Whilst I have no desire to become a woman, I did start to feel like I was beginning to actually look like one. In photos, I think I look great, but in the vid, I am a fat 55 year old in female clothing. I’ll not hide away, but this has taken some of the enjoyment away.

      Cerys.

      4 users thanked author for this post.
    • #679466
      Nancy
      Lady
      Registered On: May 3, 2020
      Topics: 28
      Replies: 386
      Has thanked: 1015 times
      Been thanked: 1907 times

      We don’t owe society passability. If expressing your feminine side makes you feel good, then that’s a positive thing, not a negative one. Everyone else out there is free to express their gender however they want too. If they choose to express it in a traditional masculine or feminine manner, that’s their prerogative. Passable or not, wear what makes you happy. Your opinion of yourself is more important than their opinion of you.

      Nancy

      3 users thanked author for this post.
    • #679465
      Alison Anderson
      Duchess
      Registered On: October 15, 2018
      Topics: 15
      Replies: 891
      Has thanked: 724 times
      Been thanked: 3785 times

      First off, we are always our own worst critic.Β  We know “there’s a guy in there” and so all we see it that guy. But that’s not necessarily what the rest of the world sees.

      There are things we can do to enhance the illusion.Β  I too have a belly.Β  But if I wear something loose and open on the bottom, it helps hide the belly.Β  Posture is another element.Β  If I stand with stomach in, chest proud, and shoulders back, I have a better feminine appearance.Β  Yes, it can be difficult to keep the stomach in for long periods, and does require attention to keep it from sagging.

      Movement is another thing. Maintaining the posture, you want to move by pushing your pelvis forward and gliding your legs under you, rather than trying to push off with your leg. Keep your arms loose and let them swing naturally. Keep your stride short and your feet close to a center line as you walk.

      None of these are “magic bullets” that will make you suddenly look feminine.Β  The object is to provide enough visual clues so that the onlooker doesn’t immediately read you on first glance.Β  Typically all they’ll give you is that single glance, and then continue on with their own business and their own thoughts.

      3 users thanked author for this post.
    • #679446
      Carole Corbett
      Ambassador
      Registered On: September 5, 2016
      Topics: 6
      Replies: 133
      Has thanked: 196 times
      Been thanked: 562 times

      So here is what you need to do. Β Look at some of the pictures that people post on either you tube or Facebook and they show how they looked 5-6-7 years ago and how they look now. Β We all start somewhere. Some of us may have more feminine features but most not. Β Having the right hair and makeup will make a big difference. Β So save that video girl but get at it and practice….make up…dress..your walk..your hair and I bet if you focus on that … you will also be able to post some pictures of you at different times and inspire someone else who is not happy how they look.

       

      Lastly…it’s about how it makes you feel…own it…enjoy it…strut your stuff…..don’t worry about others and what they see!

      Hugs

      Carole

      2 users thanked author for this post.
    • #679426
      Sarah Kanter
      Lady
      Registered On: April 25, 2019
      Topics: 17
      Replies: 171
      Has thanked: 374 times
      Been thanked: 947 times

      I feel that way every time I take a pic. Even when I get a picture I like, later I start to doubt. I think it’s just something we all have to work with.

      2 users thanked author for this post.
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