- This topic has 6 replies, 6 voices, and was last updated 1 year ago by Anonymous.
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- September 26, 2022 at 2:58 pm #679423
My wife and I were walking the dog in a local park. I was dressed sensibly. Black stirrup pants, long brown top. Denim jacket and ankle boots….
I asked my wife if she would video me so I could see what others saw as I walked past them. She agreed. I walked ahead and turned around, and walked towards her.What I saw upset me. Rather than the smart woman I see in the mirror, I saw a fat, 55 year old man, dressed as a woman, clomping along. No mater that I have long hair that frames my face. No matter the make up. No matter how smart I thought I looked…. A fat old man. I thought that I was starting to look almost passable, so I wouldn’t look so obvious during my daylight walks…. Alas, this is not the case. I’ll not be fooling anyone any time soon 🙁
Cerys.
- This topic was modified 1 year ago by Robyn Drake.
- This topic was modified 1 year ago by Cerys Burton.
- September 26, 2022 at 3:13 pm #679426
I feel that way every time I take a pic. Even when I get a picture I like, later I start to doubt. I think it’s just something we all have to work with.
- September 26, 2022 at 5:06 pm #679446
So here is what you need to do. Look at some of the pictures that people post on either you tube or Facebook and they show how they looked 5-6-7 years ago and how they look now. We all start somewhere. Some of us may have more feminine features but most not. Having the right hair and makeup will make a big difference. So save that video girl but get at it and practice….make up…dress..your walk..your hair and I bet if you focus on that … you will also be able to post some pictures of you at different times and inspire someone else who is not happy how they look.
Lastly…it’s about how it makes you feel…own it…enjoy it…strut your stuff…..don’t worry about others and what they see!
Hugs
Carole
- September 26, 2022 at 7:18 pm #679465
First off, we are always our own worst critic. We know “there’s a guy in there” and so all we see it that guy. But that’s not necessarily what the rest of the world sees.
There are things we can do to enhance the illusion. I too have a belly. But if I wear something loose and open on the bottom, it helps hide the belly. Posture is another element. If I stand with stomach in, chest proud, and shoulders back, I have a better feminine appearance. Yes, it can be difficult to keep the stomach in for long periods, and does require attention to keep it from sagging.
Movement is another thing. Maintaining the posture, you want to move by pushing your pelvis forward and gliding your legs under you, rather than trying to push off with your leg. Keep your arms loose and let them swing naturally. Keep your stride short and your feet close to a center line as you walk.
None of these are “magic bullets” that will make you suddenly look feminine. The object is to provide enough visual clues so that the onlooker doesn’t immediately read you on first glance. Typically all they’ll give you is that single glance, and then continue on with their own business and their own thoughts.
- September 26, 2022 at 7:21 pm #679466
We don’t owe society passability. If expressing your feminine side makes you feel good, then that’s a positive thing, not a negative one. Everyone else out there is free to express their gender however they want too. If they choose to express it in a traditional masculine or feminine manner, that’s their prerogative. Passable or not, wear what makes you happy. Your opinion of yourself is more important than their opinion of you.
Nancy
- September 27, 2022 at 3:41 pm #679648
I’m not normally one to worry about passability, For many years I was unshaven and had a tache. Over recent months, other than work and a few other times, I am dressed as a woman most of the time. It keeps my depression at bay, and helps me relax, and sleep better at night. I guess it sort of became normal. I found my style improving, I’ve learnt how to easily style my hair, I’ve started wearing a bra and make up…. Whilst I have no desire to become a woman, I did start to feel like I was beginning to actually look like one. In photos, I think I look great, but in the vid, I am a fat 55 year old in female clothing. I’ll not hide away, but this has taken some of the enjoyment away.
Cerys.
- September 27, 2022 at 5:18 pm #679660Anonymous
That was a great idea to make a video, much better than just a photo. As Alison said, work on posture and how to walk. Do you carry a purse? That helps where to put at least one hand.
Look on the positive side, this video is the worst you’ll ever look. Your presentation will only get better from now on.
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