- This topic has 20 replies, 13 voices, and was last updated 11 months ago by Suzi Homemaker.
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- July 31, 2022 at 9:34 am #666485
This morning I had a talk with a couple at my church. I told them about my class reunion earlier in the month and how I was in tears at the end when a GG classmate invited me to her church and how special I felt being accepted as Cassie the whole weekend. I asked them how they thought I would be accepted on our small church if I came as Cassie. They agreed that the reactions would likely be all over the place. Since I have already told a few that I am a CD/trans?? and have been going to church for almost a year now with long pretty nails now, this would not suprize and or shock a lot of them. I said I might try going to a larger church in a nearby town first (this church also Catholic is loosely connected with my church).
Part of the reason I am thinking about doing this is that at an after church breakfast a couple of weeks ago a lady came to my table and asked me what my preferred pronouns were.
This would be just another step in letting Cassie out into my whole world full time.?.?.?.Cassie
- This topic was modified 1 year ago by Cassie Jayson. Reason: adding more info
- July 31, 2022 at 10:17 am #666509AnonymousLady
Some in the church will not care and some will tell you that you are a sinner for wearing clothing of the opposite sex. They will point to the Old Testament in Deuteronomy 22:5 saying it is an abomination to the Lord for a man to wear women’s clothing and women to wear men’s clothing. The New Testament doesn’t mention this at all. If someone would say that then I would point out then why are the women in that church wearing pants?
I was in a Sunday school class once and for some reason some of the older men and women started discussing that they would drive anyone out if they found out they were gay or any part of the alternate life style groups. I never went back to that church after that. I tried a church that openly had no issue with members who were gay, transgender or crossdressers and I enjoyed finally getting to dress and enjoy worship service…for a while. Then during the height of the BLM movement the pastor started preaching on how white people should despise their whiteness. It seemed that they were moving toward self loathing based on ones skin color and I never returned. I believe God is more concerned with what’s in your heart than what you are wearing.
- July 31, 2022 at 10:41 am #666514
It is important to ensure that you are attending a church that accepts folks that are different. Many churches will welcome you and then treat you like a sinner that needs to have the sin removed. In their small minds, the sin in crossdressing. You should completely understand the church’s mindset regarding LGBTQ prior to attending.
- July 31, 2022 at 5:32 pm #666619
Sorry Jamie, they just can’t kick out all the sinners out, because then there would be no one left. HE THAT IS WITHOUT SIN CAST THE FIRST STONE.
. . Cassie
- July 31, 2022 at 11:20 am #666525
Consult with your priest for his opinion.
Araminta.
- July 31, 2022 at 12:14 pm #666539Anonymous
I doubt she really wants it…just based on what I think I know, but maybe she does. Have seen so many scarred by religion, myself included. Slippery slope here!
- July 31, 2022 at 11:40 am #666530
Cassie, this is a very touchy subject, I don’t want to express my feelings about this too publicly. But, I’ll just share a completely true story and you can read whatever you want from it.
When my kids were younger, one of them came out as trans. We were a very religious family up to that point. The Church said they accepted my child, but also made it clear to them that there was no longer any possibility for them to go into religious life for a living. And every Sunday morning, the confirmation preparation class taught my child and the whole class that LGBTQ+people were sinners and that lifestyle was bad.
So, while they didn’t openly chase my child from the Church, as you can imagine, we didn’t last long there. I haven’t set foot in that denomination’s Churches since then. I have found a good, open and affirming, church which I am enjoying. If you ever want to check it out, just let me know. I’m basically the only one in my immediate family who has gone back to any kind of religion. And even when I’m visiting family for Christmas, I will NOT set foot in a Church…Nancy
- This reply was modified 1 year ago by Nancy.
- July 31, 2022 at 11:54 am #666533
Cassie:
There is no magic formula here. It all depends on how you balance the need to be yourself versus how you worship. Everyone has to solve that equation for themselves…
- July 31, 2022 at 12:11 pm #666537
Cassie, there are a number of us on this forum who have had to deal with how our crossdressing or being transgendered is viewed by churches and those who go there.
I was brought up in the Episcopal Church and find that I am now accepted there as a trans woman.
However, many of my family members and acquaintances go to evangelical or fundamentalist churches. I am NOT, in any way, accepted by them. I have sent them all sorts of info on being transgendered, medical, scientific and even Christians who are trans, and they won’t accept that either, what I’m doing is wrong, selfish and a very stupid choice. I have been told emphatically that they do not understand, don’t really want to, and will not talk with or see me as a woman.
We only have one choice faced with such attitudes, it’s time to move on and live our lives, tough love.
Hugs Cassie, wish you well,
Lauren M
- July 31, 2022 at 12:23 pm #666542
The fundamental issue is that they think that being a crossdresser or being transgender is a choice. They don’t understand that it NEVER was…
- July 31, 2022 at 5:29 pm #666618
Sorry DeeAnn I disagree, it is a choice. You choose to be who you are/who you were meant to be. OR keep you fem self in a box get depressed and loose an important part of yourself.
. Cassie- August 1, 2022 at 12:51 am #666657
Living as the person you are or not doesn’t change Who you are. Whether you act on it or not, what you are is what you are. What you said is true. Not acting on who you are almost always causes significant mental issues.
Many gay and trans people say that they knew they were different at very young ages. What they are had already been determined, but at that point they had no idea as to what it all meant.
Sexual orientation and gender identity are innate. It is also one indicator as to why conversion therapy doesn’t work. You can’t change who you are. All you can do is recognize it and live with it.
- August 1, 2022 at 5:57 am #666682
Thank you DeeAnn, so well put and factual, something all of us know very well and wish the world around us tried to understand. Again, thanks. 🙂
Hugs,
Lauren M
- August 1, 2022 at 11:06 pm #666983
Thanks!
What I’ve noticed is that many heterosexual and cisgender people only seem to look at the world from their own frame of reference. However, the problem is that this is very limiting. From that viewpoint, it is very difficult to begin to understand those who are different with respect to that frame of reference. This is what leads us to stupid BS such as “Don’t Say Gay”…
- July 31, 2022 at 1:41 pm #666566
You have to decide between being accepted as yourself and the attitude of that particular congregation. Be yourself – there are always other places to worship.
Kisses,
Fredrika - August 1, 2022 at 7:47 am #666717Anonymous
Hi Cassie.
You’ve received a lot of great advice and points of view from many sisters here, so I hope you don’t mind me adding one more.
At the end of the day, only you can decide whether coming our to the people at your church is critical to your personal well being. By that I mean you have to decide whether or not the backlash you might (or might not) experience is worth the relief you’ll likely feel by having come out. For me, the decision that I came to was that I came out to my priest. I was fortunate in that he was amazingly supportive, but I didn’t come out to the rest of the members. As long as my priest knew, I had peace in my own heart. One of the reasons that I wanted to tell him was that I felt as if I was keeping secret a part of me that needed to be shared so that he could better understand who I was. Plus, since I had recently come out to my wife, I wanted her to be able to speak with him openly as well, and for him to know know I was not hiding anything from her either.
Unfortunately, churches are made up of people, and people are full of flaws, like all of us. Churches are also very political, full of cliques, full of people who are often jockeying for power positions, full of people who are broken and the only way they feel better about themselves is to make others feel worse, etc. Plus, in church, people often say one thing and then act completely differently than what they say. I’ve had that happen too many times to count at church, which was one reason why I didn’t come completely out. The people that need to know already know. The ones that don’t, I didn’t tell.
The truth is that many of us who are Christian have struggled with being somewhere on the transgender spectrum, and often have been struggling with this issue for literally decades. I have. It wasn’t until I finally came out to my priest and he told me that I was not any more of a sinner than anyone else with any other issue that I finally was able to feel a sense of peace when I crossed the threshold of the church. But like someone already mentioned, there are many churches, especially the fundamental types, that are extremely judgmental and condemnatory, so before you come out completely, you need to know and understand the boundaries that the church membership operates within.
I wish you luck in your decision on this, because again, only you can make that decision. If you’d like to speak more about this, I’m always open.
Hugs,
Holly
- August 1, 2022 at 4:15 pm #666896
For me I am already out to several people at church, maybe that is enough. the thing is my recent adventure when I was invited to a classmates church and was so accepted there gives me a desire to be out everywhere.
.Cassie - April 5, 2023 at 3:05 am #729853
I do not go to Church dressed and I am Catholic. But when I go to Confession I do mention that I sometimes dress female when I go out. I have never been given any excessive penance.rnings against Crossdressing.
So I don’t know what the reaction would be to a CD in a Catholic Church. I hve never noticed any CD or Trans at Mass.
- August 2, 2022 at 2:23 am #667017
I am not out in my community here at home. However, when I am traveling I have had no problem going to Mass at an out of town Catholic Church. The good Lord knows who I am. I have no secrets from him.
I’m just not out locally, otherwise I would just be me.
However, some people just don’t react well when they get TMI. Might be easier and more comforting to just find another nearby church.
- August 2, 2022 at 5:35 am #667044
Thanks for your input Roberta. I am already at least partially out with my long hair (in a pony tail), ear rings, purple hair AND I have told a few people that I am CD/trans. Likely I will go to the nearby collage church in full Cassie mode and see how that goes. I already know that if you don’t look really close that I pass, so that shouldn’t be a large issue there.
. Cassie
- August 2, 2022 at 5:20 am #667037
To be honest, Cassie, as an underdresser, the one place I will not underdress is church. I can underdress anywhere else, but I get the creeps thinking about wearing a bra and stockings with garters under my drab in church. The day I dare to underdress in church would be the start of a whole new frontier in my CD journey.
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