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I am fortunate that I can go clothes shopping with my wife so I am not reliant on just internet shopping.
Usually when we are out I will steer us in the direction of the women’s department at some point.
I love looking through all the wonderful clothing options and if I see an outfit I like my wife will buy it for me.
But I have often wondered if the ladies at the checkout notice that my wife is buying clothes that are obviously not her size whilst her 6′ 2″ husband stands behind her. Or is it just another garment to them. How common is it for wives to be shopping for clothes for their cross-dressing husbands and can they be spotted a mile off by the trained eye of the store assistants. Usually husbands being dragged out shopping just stand there looking bored, but I’m in there discreetly going through the racks. Do the people in the shop notice this? Lets Face it, us girls are always looking at how other girls look and make comments. Do they have a giggle together once you have left the store?
Anyone have experience of this? Has a store assistant ever made any encouraging or sarcastic comments?
It doesn’t bother me if they suspect, I’m just curious.
Amy
Yes the sales people do notice. At first my wife helped me buy lingerie in retail stores. I’m much bigger than her and when checking out, the cashier who is usually a female, would see the 40 band bras and large panties and look at me with a slight smile. One of the first times I was so nervous I gave myself away and the cashier actually laughed.
In thrift stores I became used to going through the racks of skirts and tops while the wife stood by and I would notice GG’s looking with a knowing expression on their faces. Sometimes I would hear a giggle. The wife quit shopping with me because I think she was embarrassed. I shop alone now and don’t give a flip what others think. Its no ones business what I buy.
Amy sweetie, they definitely notice, or suspect anyway.
If they are professionals they won’t say a word or at least they should not anyway, that’s sarcastic.
Your just another customer or in reality cash in the bank.
Little exercise for you sweetie, pick out some panties or tights and just walk straight up to the counter and pay. For all they know you buying them for a female friend, and if the think to themselves I wonder if they are for him, you are only one who will know the truth.
We have all been there, and many girls on here have, including myself shop openly with an bother at all.
Happy shopping sweetie,
Lol Amanda xxHi Amy…
Do they notice, does it matter…the way the world is at the moment, they are just glad of a sale..I expect they notice most of the time, but would say nothing just to get the sale…if they laugh afterwards….who cares…..out of sight, out of mind.
Grace x
Hi Amy,
There’s plenty of intelligent shop workers, hard to imagine they are all clueless!
I guess one ‘joy’ of capitalism is that nowadays any workers whose attitude to cd’ing causes lost business or bad press is risking their job, at least in large organisations.
I’m getting into personal shopping now that fitting rooms are opening up after the lockdowns. I had a good trawl in Marks and Sparks the other day, picking out a few items to take across the store and try in the mens fitting rooms. No one seemed bothered or interested. I only bought one pair of nice leggings in the end – which of course was an item you don’t try on, but the cashier was friendly, “nice colour / pattern, blah, blah”.
Same next door at Matalan, where I did buy a few bits and pieces – I trawled the shoes and actually found some that fitted me. The cashier seemed quite young, and I did detect a quizzical look, but I’m sure it was old hat to her older colleagues if she said anything later.
Oh god, don’t I sound nonchalant? I’m not, it’s still early days for me and I travel slowly. There’s still a ‘what to say if …’ edge, and I’m still a bit iffy in the lingerie section – but comparing how I found and purchased clothes pre lockdown, and pre CDH, well … no comparison.
Marti xxx
I shop while dressed alone and with my wife. I don’t think they usually even suspect. No odd looks or comments so far. I really enjoy the hunt for the perfect bargain. I also shop in drab. I have had a number of clerks comment how nice the clothes would look on me. I just laugh. I told one that I was sure they would. I guess I don’t care what they suspect
I have bought one dress in person and the rest online and had no issues. I have bought bras also with no issues in person. I buy a lot of panties in person and either get no comments and sometimes nice comments. I have only had one sarcastic comment on panties I was buying and I asked the clerk if she made that same comment to women making that type of purchase and she shut up and did her job.
I get most disapproving looks from GGs also trying to shop in the same space (I’m in the south, after all). Store personnel may look and wonder, but have probably seen it enough not to care. It’s probably more of a shock to GGs who don’t have regular contact with CDers.
Never had one compliment or even comment.
If your experience is like mine Raquel, they’re just trying to grab that bargain blouse before you do! Who knew shopping could be a full contact sport? And then of course, when one of the other shoppers pulls something off the rack, holds it up in front of her, admiring herself, you think to yourself, “ oh, Honey, I’d look better in that than you do”.
C
I’m pretty sure they know. Female shop assistants seem to have a special radar for spotting CDs. Or maybe all ladies have this power? Or am I just paranoid?
You girls who have the support of their SO’s are so lucky – cherish them.
Connie
xxx
Hi Amy:
I recently got a pair of 5″ fuchsia coloured Jessica Simpson shoes at Value Village (a nationwide 2nd hand store in Canada). I had them dangling from my fingers while standing in line to pay for them ($20 bucks and still brand new, WOO-HOO!). All the cashier said was, “Those are nice! Do you have your points card with you?” Yes I do!
However…
Back in the late-70s when I was driving through Regina, Saskatchewan (only two tall buildings at that time), I needed my femme-fix and went to The Bay (our national department store – still around) for some nylons and a couple of see-through tops. The cashier picked up the 4 pairs of nylons like they were playing cards and began punching the amounts into her cash register then stopped abruptly when she looked me. She put the nylons down and said, “I’ll have to speak with my manager”. I asked, “Why? Is my money no good?” I got cashed out without another word!
Oh, that shopping rush!
Barb :B
I only shop in drab and purchase most of Annette’s clothes this way. I order very little online. Yes, I do notice that as I’m moving through the racks looking at dresses, bras, panties, etc. women will keep their distance from me or move to an aisle farther away. In turn, I have learned to walk around the women’s department away from any woman shopping; waiting until she leaves the aisle I want to shop in. I rarely get any looks that I’ve noticed. And rarely will a woman shop in the same aisle I’m already in.
Several things I do for shopping is I try to shop off-hours when the store isn’t busy. Usually during a weekday, early in the week and either just as the store opens, at dinner time, or close to closing. I also carry a piece of paper in hand giving the impression that I have sizes written down and I put my wedding band on. For trying things on, which I usually do, I’ll grab a pair of men’s jeans or a shirt from the men’s department first. This way I can usually place Annette’s item under the jeans on my arm; then I go to the men’s fitting room and try everything on. This has saved me often from having to return items. I’ve never had a problem trying things on this way.
The only incident I had was last year. I had just started working from home due to COVID. Since I would be dressing every day and all day, I needed to get more bras and panties. So I went to Kohls a few towns over. I purchase 2 bras, 5 panties, and also two pretty short sleeve tops. The cashier, probably in her 40’s, maybe early 50’s stated to me, “I was doing the shopping that day.” I just responded with a, “Yes.” She was very nice, had a very nice warm smile, and cheery disposition. Told me I could get one more panty, which were on sale that day for just a dollar or two more. Since they weren’t busy she said it wouldn’t be a problem if I wanted to run back and get another pair. I declined. She asked where I was from in which I blurted out my town. She was so nice and I was so very relaxed talking to her I answered truthfully. She then said she has two girlfriends from my town that she visits often. She like going there since it’s a nice town. During this time she also kept saying how pretty everything was. I’m positive she knew just from the sizes that I was buying them for me. I was almost tempted to tell her they were all for me as I was leaving but chickened out.
Sure they notice. Only time they wouldn’t is during the Christmas and Valentine Day shopping time.
I only shop in “drab” and buy all my lingerie and clothing at stores in other towns than my own.
I have only been caught out once when the lady at the checkout said “you will look nice in those shoes with that dress.” I was a little stunned, but was able to reply “thank you, but my wife may object to me wearing them.” She just looked at me and smiled saying “you just have a wonderful day.” I knew then that she was had made me out. I have not returned to that shop again.
If you are big and are buying your size and making out that it is for your girlfriend/wife it may raise an eyebrow as what are the chances of that. I did buy in male mode and just picked out something and went to the checkout. There may have been a comment asking who it was for so I would say my wife. I never had any bother but I am an average size. The deeper you justify the bigger the chance of a knowing look or comment.
Now put the heels on the other foot….
I was out shopping in my usual femme mode and went into a store to get a few bits of makeup. While in there they had a real good offer on razor blades that I use, a propriety male brand, and I couldn’t resist the deal. The range of blades was on the wall by the cashier for her to get them for you. I looked at the range and umm’d and ahh’d as if I wasn’t sure what one I needed. The cashier then said,’ If you get the wrong one and they are unopened you can return them madam’. I can only assume she saw a confused lady buying for her husband.
Hi Amy
Although my gf is often with me, I make no effort to try and hide the fact that most of the clothes being purchased are indeed for me. I sometimes get comments or questioning remarks and answer them.
I’m certain there is sometimes some giggles or further discussion by the staff after we’ve left and thats fine.
I will say that once I’ve been in a store and had a conversation with the staff, the attention I get on any return visits is stellar!
Olivia
Hi Amy,
I was shopping en femme day before yesterday at Lane Bryant. The SA was great suggesting things as I shopped. After all, some stores have monthly, quarterly or seasonal goals and our purchases are as good as gold! Should you encounter a problem call the customer call center to report it. They truly are interested in customer feedback – negative or positive. Should a negative incident be reported that store manager is responsible for an action.
In another store I’ve shopped it was fun to see the SA’s and store manager or District manager. They regularly joked or had fun. Retail work can be stressful after all, and a bit of fun goes a long way.
Alice
The few times I have shopped in drab, there has never been a comment. Now, I always shop en femme, so I can use the dressing rooms. The SAs have always been courteous, and I’ve even had a few compliments.
Bottom line: You’re a paying customer; that’s all that matters.
Hugs,
BettylouAs the others have said, Im sure they notice, but most dont care, a sale is a sale
I shop for myself all the time, either with my SO, or alone, and have never had any issues. My wife is handicapped, and the stores we frequent have handicap changing rooms, so we go in together, with clothes for us both. It is so much nicer, and fun, to be able to try things on, and not get things which need to be returned.
Hugs, Regi👸💖I’m pretty sure most of them know, but most don’t really care. I do most of my shopping in drab, but I walk in and straight to the women’s clothes, and spend most of my time there. I make no attempt to hide the fact that I’m shopping for myself, I’ll hold things in front of my body to try to judge how it would fit. And, I’ve asked to use the dressing rooms to try things on in several different stores. I’ve gotten reactions ranging from silence, but judgemental looks, to full acceptance and helpfulness. That’s the thing I like about Torrid, I feel like they want me to shop there. And the fact that they know I’m buying for myself is irrelevant to them.
Birel
I get to go to many towns in my job so there is opportunity to visit many thrift stores. Last week I was in a small town and while in one of the shops the lady behind the counter asked me if I was looking for the men’s section. I said ” No” and she went back to her business.
I found some really nice clothes and when I took them to the counter I made out they were for the wife. Not sure if they brought what I said but they started telling me how good a husband I was shopping for the wife!!
I have used the changing rooms in other larger thrift stores and when they are not too busy I will take clothes in to try on. I do however look through all the racks, put what I want to try on at the front of each rack so it is easy to find again and then pick the 3 -5 items I like best that I want to try on. I used to put a male T-shirt over the top of the clothes I take to the changing room but I am pretty sure the staff now know they are for me as they see me going in and coming out of the changing rooms. They might find it a bit weird but they are still getting a sale.
I just recalled a recent experience while shopping en femme, and remembered a valuable tip. I had to run to a department store while out of town to purchase a new pair of thigh highs, as the ones I had packed developed a run.
Mind you, I looked very much like a man in skinny jeans, a casual blouse with my stuffed bra and lipstick as my only makeup, with a pink ball cap on my head. As I was checking out, the nylons being my only purchase, the clerk looked me over and noticed my suede ankle boots and said, “Your boots are so cute”.
Now, I’m sure many of you have noticed, but when one GG compliments another, they are usually quick to return a compliment. So, I simply said, “Thank you. I really like your earrings.” She smiled and thanked me, in return.
Just two girls, chatting.
It made my experience truly wonderful.
I’ve been buying my own pantyhose, bras and panties since I was 13. At 17 I bought heels, short shorts and wigs and began wearing that out. I tried to look like Daisy Duke. I wore that out many times and each time got bolder and bolder.
A huge and very scary experience was buying pantyhose in that attire. I wanted to do it so bad and fantasized about it many times, but getting the nerve to do it took a while. I worked up the nerve to go in the store and go over to the pantyhose. My nerve would fade and I would leave. Finally I did it. I went over to the pantyhose, picked out several pairs as I had done many times in male mode. It was a whole different experiences in Dasiy Duke attire.
I nervously walked to the register getting more and more nervous with each step. I almost abandoned the idea, but I got online. Did anyone notice what I was wearing and what I was buying? What were they thinking?
I paid for the pantyhose and left. It was an non event to those near me. For me, it was one of the scariest and most exciting experiences ever.
I bought lots of femme clothes since. Often in male mode, sometimes en femme. Even when buying something for my wife, I would buy what I liked and often get us matching outfits. Even today, it’s rare I won’t go in a store and stop by the women’s departments. Most of the time I leave with something. I could always use more pantyhose, panties, bra or maybe even a few dresses, skirts or tops. In male mode, I’m not the least bit concerned about someone thinking the clothes are for me.
In femme mode, I think it’s pretty obvious.
Hey, Patty!
Daisy Duke! Love it!
My go-to en femme desire was Lindsay Wagner, The Bionic Woman, my favorite show of that era after Columbo. Sure, she often dressed conservative (love that look!), but those legs in hose could outrun a pickup on nitroglycerin and in high heels too! I wanted to be just like her – sensitive yet powerful! Hmm… I’m kinda like that now (especially at over 200 lbs!)
Thanks for putting a smile on my face this morning!
Barb :B
I remember The Bionic Woman too. Lindsay Wagner surely was a good role model and inspiration to those like us. There was many others from that era also, who I’m sure could have inspired others.
For me though, seeing Daisy not just blew me away for how she looked, but I thought, “I could do that”. It seemed possible to pull off that look. So for me, she was my role model and inspiration.
During a purge moment I took several thing to a consignment store, After a week or so I was kicking my self. Little did I know after 90 days you could no longer retrieve items. I left dejected not knowing whah to do.
With Halloween coming I decided to revisit the store. Told the SA I am doing a crossdressed dance number at our dance studio. She was awesome, showing me where my sizes were, she even said feel free to try any thing on in the dressing room. Sad to say all my dresses and skirts were gone (Uck).I did find a red sequin dress, clip on ear rings and a neckless. In the back room full of shoes I found (yes) my size 12 9West strap sandals (4″ heels), got them back for $1. All told I spent $22.
With my courage up off to the wig store, not sure who had more fun the SA or me, she keep bring different wigs to try on we laughed and talked for over and hour. I promised both ladies I would bring then photos.Hi Amy, I shop in person, in drab really focused on hunting down close-out bargains. I am usually elbow to elbow with all the other ladies who are also flipping through the sales racks. Not a care in the world for this old gal. First one to the bargain is the winner!
It’s nice that fitting rooms are opening up again. I’m still getting used to the idea of making use of the dressing rooms for my lady things but am very much glad to have them available. I wouldn’t use the women’s dressing room dressed as a man. That would just make everyone uncomfortable. Instead I’ll just carry my selections across the store and try on all those pretty things in the men’s changing room. No problems with that. If shopping en femme, I think I’d use the women’s.
Also, a lot of the thrift stores have unisex changing rooms and for these I am grateful. Saves so much time not having to return ill fitting clothes.
Clara’s thoughts on shopping.
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