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Hello Sweethearts….
I was thinking about a post the other day by Andi Dubois….she got into real trouble for simply offering advice and Improving her wife’s new outfit……
So girls, as we all strive to be the perfect girl, do we think we actually understand women better??…you girls in relationships, do you get on better with you partners simply because you think more female???…
you ” closetted” girls, does your partner ever seem surprised if you let a moment of femininity slip???…you girls that are “out”…do you have real girly moments with your partner’s….???…..are they really surprised just how female you can be ???
I’m single, but even after all this time, I can even surprise myself!!!……picking curtains, wallpaper, cooking….. I can even arrange a bunch of flowers in a vase better than any woman….haha
So my lovelies….lets hear your revelations!!!!
Grace ❤️❤️
Yes. My fiance was surprised how much I know about makeup and hair care. Often it seems like I can read her mind.
Eva ⚘
Hehe….❤️❤️
What a great – and almost impossible to answer – question! Start from the beginning: do I think I understand women better… not sure as I started wearing women’s clothing way before I became interested in women for “other reasons” and does that mean that I haven’t experienced “both sides of the equation”? Surely, unless you’ve seen both sides of the road, you can’t fully understand what it means to cross from one side to the next? or does it mean you’ve already got all the answers? Hmmm…… I’m “closeted” as you put it – but my SO never questions my “feminine” thinking on the grounds that she fully understand the political stance I inevitably take. Overall, if I had to say one way or the other, then “Yes”; I think I have a little more understanding – especially as I see myself as two distinct people (who so often don’t quite see eye to eye……) Now got to go and have a long think…… Hugs: Inga.
Thank you honey
….there’s a whole new post here….why did Inga cross the road???….another time…haha xx
Q: Why did the chicken cross the Mobius Strip? A: To get to the same side!……
Good Morning Grace,
great question! My wife knows I am a CD and you know that I push the boundaries with her. So I wear some degree of female clothing all the time; always underdressed and most of my clothes are androgynous.
I’m not sure if I truly understand women more. I certainly make a much more concerted effort to be more understanding, more empathetic, to be a better listener, to be a strong supporter. I do all this not because I understand her better, but because I want her to be more supportive of me as a CD. Like the time I was doing some plumbing while wearing bright pink panties – you guessed it, of course they showed while I was bent over under the sink and she saw them but she didn’t rant about it. And she’s never said anything negative about my femme skinny jeans. There’s a common saying that to understand someone, put yourself in their shoes. Well if I put myself in my wife’s shoes, or even clothing, I wouldn’t get to wear some of the feminine clothes that I wear. I don’t think she owns anything pink; my wife wears mostly blue and gray t-shirts/sweaters with blue jeans (non-skinny).
I suppose because I make such a concerted effort, and, I imagine other CDs with spouses who know, also make a strong effort and are more sensitive to the needs of our SO, it might be viewed as being more understanding. And I suppose I can go along with that. Sounds good anyway.
Take care, Big Hugs, Krista.
Krista….
I’m SO trying to picture you as the babe in the cowboy hat!!!!… but I keep seeing a plumber in pink panties…hopefully it’s just temporary….oh my!!!
Grace ❤️❤️
A somewhat difficult question to answer as I personally think i do…to some extent but i have yet to actually walk that proverbially mile in ‘her’ shoes. Not that i havent tried!
What i have learned and do use is to only answer direct questions from (and about) my SO when she asks, and to keep my responses fairly positive and more so when I suggest alternatives. Ive also learned that some and maybe many women do not take personal appearance criticism from a man…gently. Even if it is constructive which of course im sure it always is. (and that of course is the female within me)
Oh Chloe…
that mile in stilettos…ouch xx
Hi Grace I still do not fully understand woman but if the truth be told I do not understand men either. I do understand the part of women that wants to feel love and desire from partner. I understand wanting to feel cute and pretty even if its just sometimes. I understand wanting to be heard even though i may not practice listening at times. I do not understand having estrogen being sent into my bloodstream and brain in order keep my body and brain in-tacked. Where we have common ground we should be able to find compromise that would meet both our needs.
Luv Stephanie
Hi Stephanie….
I certainly don’t understand men…never could, never will..xx
I definitely think we do as cders. We know how much work it is to get prepared to go out socially for one. My wife hates going to weddings or any function that requires dressing up(makeup , dresses ,pretty shoes etc). There can be pressure to look good and have makeup done right, (Lots of pictures and other women judging)I think most of us can identify with that feeling although I love to get dressed up even in drab. Secondly I think most of us are more in touch with our feelings than “regular men”. I for one have given a lot of thought to my need to dress which has in turn has made me look into my innermost feelings. Introspection isnt something a red blooded American man is encouraged to do. As men we just do what we want with little thought of why but I think society has made us that way. Women are generally raised to feel more empathy than men among other emotions that are looked upon as feminine. As a cd who has delved into his emotions in an effort to understand myself I think I may have stumbled onto feelings and emotions that have made me understand my wife and women in general better.
Thank you xx
Hi Grace I don’t think I understand women any better, I just find myself having more time and patience with women. When I have offered my female opinion before, I usually get a ” what would you know response”, I should say I know a lot more than you realise. What I have noticed is if I compliment a female friend or colleague, I get a nice thank you and sometimes a nice girly chat. So the upshot for myself is my wife doesn’t recognise my feminine side, and I don’t understand her she has a best friend called Sarah and doesn’t know.
xx
Put me in front of a hallmark commercial and I’m crying, sometimes the feeling are close to the surface I can’t help but believe we have at least a little insight into their world. 💕💋 Katie
Well Grace my sweetie, I think we come to appreciate the effort it take to be a female, the work put into one’s looks and in deed fashion. One gets to understand a small degree of feminine modes. But will we ever truly understand the feminine mind and behavior accompanied with their chemical make up that drives them. Every day small things we master, nails, high heels, makeup etc, but could we master the soft femininity that evolves from motherhood?. We aim to be feminine, but could we emulate femininity and sexual chemistry, the way GG’s do naturally?.we are chemically diverse from one another, could GG ‘s understand us anymore than we of them?
I’d say that in general, we are more understanding about things that we have experienced ourselves.
But being understanding doesn’t mean that we can fully understand! It may be that we just try harder.Gabriela
I want to preface this by saying I’ve never been out dressed before so I can’t speak from experience but, I’ve read stories here about folks going out and had men staring at them and I don’t mean as a freak but gawking at them as an attractive woman. Sometimes to the point of being uncomfortable or concerned for personal safety any cd who has dealt with that has more of an understanding of women than the average male for sure. Cds that have dealt with that kind of attention whether they wanted it or not have definitely walked a mile in women’s shoes(literally and figuratively), I think they have a shared experience and a little peak into what it’s like to be a woman. To most men this is a foreign concept, being on that side of things isn’t something they have lived through but most woman and some cds have.
Well, that is a great point. Been there… is not fun. Forget about being attractive or not. When you are being looked at as potential prey, it is scary!
So, yes, we can emphatize with that feeling too.
A very good learning experience which hopefully we can use to teach our sons, nephews, students, coworkers to be less… maybe more respectful towards everybody.TBH, as a 6’4″ guy with a little experience of Tae Kwon Do, I find it funny when guys check me out or flirt. It’s disgusting to me when they try to touch or even kiss me, but that’s because I find the male physique repulsive.
I do have a good understanding why women would be spooked by the experience as a result though.
I guess I am just a sucker for being told how gorgeous I look, when only my wife has ever said that to me in drab.
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
Love Laura
Grace darling girl…
I will simply state… until we have estrogen running through our bodies/brains we will never experience what women do.
Perhaps those of us who have an over abundance of said hormone might but in general, no.
However, the more we dress ‘en femme’, the more we go out and about, the more we improve our ‘looks’… the more we begin to feel the pressures of being a woman. The lewd looks, the inappropriate comments, the actual fear! The inequality, the disparaging remarks etc.
My wife and I share very girlie moments like when she bought my some product from a a beauty store. She was so super excited as was I! We have shared advice on beauty/makeup stuff and she is always excited when I buy a new garment! Her excitements is so infectious too.
I am tempering my ‘mansplaining’ and it is getting better, more by using personal experience of what I did wrong than any other explanation.
Sadly though, I am still me, Polly. And until the HRT begins I shall just have to navigate my way through the various perils as best I can with my poor, tired male mind…Ohh… does that mean I shall have to juggle a bunch of tasks, doing them all badly? Women do like to boast of their multitasking’ abilities’…
Polly 🤪😳🥺🧠🥾🦧💋💋💋
Polly wrote:”does that mean I shall have to juggle a bunch of tasks, doing them all badly? Women do like to boast of their multitasking’ abilities ”
Unfortunately, my wife juggles multiple tasks and does them all incredibly well, thus showing up my pitiful attempts.
I stick to the “man” tasks that she won’t even attempt because “It’s not how her female brain works”.
I don’t understand that at all – a task is a task is a task, whether it’s fixing the dishwasher or checking the oil in the car.
Neither are rocket science, so why do so many women just say they don’t understand these things?
Love Laura
Hi Gracie,I think we do understand woman more than most men do. I have definitely learned more about how women feel in the past few months. I like dressing femininely everywhere. The other day I went to work in a leather skirt and nice blouse, I was going out after work. My beautiful GG boss said she could never pull it off. It shows over thinking and effort we put in are often felt by GGs too. As a regular bloke I would have never thought she wasn’t as self confident as she looks.
Love Trisha
“The other day I went to work in a leather skirt and nice blouse, I was going out after work. My beautiful GG boss said she could never pull it off.”
Is she single?
If so, you could let her…
…bad Laura!
I think we CD’s do have far more empathy and feelings towards women… To me its a function of our (for want of a better phrase) “dual personality”. Plus perhaps that growing up, I was a lot closer to my mother than my father.
I can back the above up by the fact that over my years on this mortal coil I have developed very close friendships with at least 3 women whom especially in one instance which, is as good as “close brother and sister”. I have no sisters, she has no brothers and its been like that for over 30 years. Sadly she lives in Ontario Canada and I’m down here in “Oz”, but that does not mean the bond is any weaker.
EG she knew about Caty very early and was very accepting and sympathetic. Did not want to meet her, but…
Same again with a “close cousin” lady from Perth, Western Australia.. Tho we have lost touch in latter days.
These people have meant the same to me in my life as the fellas I met in secondary school, 60 years ago
Caty
Thanks for the insight Caty x
Hi Grace! Good question, you would think that we would understand women ( and much as one can, lol ). I’ve always thought myself quite understanding of women, and therefore by extension, understanding of myself too. I am starting to understand that “darker” side some girls have, you know, critiquing each others fashions, Haha. Just a couple days ago I was watching a show with my friend and found myself criticizing the stars hair! How it would look nicer ” if she just did….. “. My friend looked at me saying – look at you, criticizing women’s hair, and intelligently too! Then I commented on her dress, shoes, etc. OMG!! I dont want to be one of “those” girls!
I guess I am understanding how hard women can be on each other that way 😯 😅.
Stevie
I don’t think I understand women any better. They seem to run the whole spectrum as men do. I do relate more to women that look and try every day to present as best as they can. It seems to me as I have listened to women over the years that they try to tear each other down and are less forgiving than many men I have known, I can not count the times when I have heard them tear apart women that did their best to look good everyday… I heard it from my own family as I was growing up. Things like Who does she think she is…… dressing like that or always having her hair perfect or walking in boots like that.. I thought to myself. I would be just like her.
I was very nervous writing that post. I am not in any way putting down something I desire to be. It is just some of my perspective over a lifetime. I am still nervous.
Michelle…
please don’t be nervous…the forums are for discussion…to voice your opinion…we can’t all agree all the time…crikey… wouldn’t it be boring!!!
Grace x
Laura K K…..
You said…..
“Speaking of Hormones Polly beginning to understand more about women and issues they face. from health issues they face to the mood swings they have. “…..
Reminds me of an old joke……
What’s the difference between a woman with PMT and an angry Rottweiler….
….the rottweiler doesn’t wear lipstick!!
I largely agree with you plumb… so I will keep you informed of the effects when I start my oestrogen journey…
Indeed, our brains are extremely, even unknowingly, complex. We are all able to ‘think’ and respond to different actions whichever sex we are and of course, our training has much to do with it. However, I still can’t help thinking there is a different ‘mode’, if you like, that relates to testosterone and oestrogen…We shall see… love Polly ❤️
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