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  • #478027
    Grace Scarlett
    Participant
    Registered On: February 16, 2021
    Topics: 67
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    Hello Sweethearts….

    I was thinking about a post the other day by Andi Dubois….she got into real trouble for simply offering advice and Improving her wife’s new outfit……

    So girls, as we all strive to be the perfect girl, do we think we actually understand women better??…you girls in relationships, do you get on better with you partners simply because you think more female???…

    you ” closetted” girls, does your partner ever seem surprised if you let a moment of femininity slip???…you girls that are “out”…do you have real girly moments with your partner’s….???…..are they really surprised just how female you can be ???

    I’m single, but even after all this time, I can even surprise myself!!!……picking curtains, wallpaper, cooking….. I can even arrange a bunch of flowers in a vase better than any woman….haha

    So my lovelies….lets hear your revelations!!!!

    Grace ❤️❤️

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    • #478610
      Michelle Trott
      Duchess
      Registered On: April 7, 2021
      Topics: 1
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      I don’t think I understand women any better. They seem to run the whole spectrum as men do. I do relate more to women that look and try every day to present as best as they can. It seems to me as I have listened to women over the years that they try to tear each other down and are less forgiving than many men I have known, I can not count the times when I have heard them tear apart women that did their best to look good everyday… I heard it from my own family as I was growing up. Things like  Who does she think she is……  dressing like that or always having her hair perfect or walking in boots like that.. I thought to myself. I would be just like her.

      • #478612
        Michelle Trott
        Duchess
        Registered On: April 7, 2021
        Topics: 1
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        I was very nervous writing that post. I am not in any way putting down something I desire to be. It is just some of my perspective over a lifetime. I am still nervous.

        4 users thanked author for this post.
        • #478670
          Grace Scarlett
          Baroness - Annual
          Registered On: February 16, 2021
          Topics: 67
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          Michelle…

          please don’t be nervous…the forums are for discussion…to voice your opinion…we can’t all agree all the time…crikey… wouldn’t it be boring!!!

          Grace x

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    • #478574
      Kelli Marlowe
      Lady
      Registered On: August 4, 2020
      Topics: 9
      Replies: 62
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      If I understood women more, I wouldn’t be single!

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    • #478552
      Mikala
      Duchess
      Registered On: April 11, 2021
      Topics: 0
      Replies: 66
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      Hi Grace,

      Well, My years of cross dressing and enjoying the feel of such gorgeous fabric against my body. Has given me a touch that other Men do not have, because if you have not worn it you do not know how it feels to be touched through it. As I am sure we all do.

      Hugs and Kisses,

      Mikala xxxx.

      2 users thanked author for this post.
    • #478484
      LisaT
      Lady
      Registered On: January 31, 2021
      Topics: 48
      Replies: 553
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      I am sure understanding women is covered by rule 10. Which states:

      As soon as a man understands the rules the rules change.

      It is good to be reminded of this as it allows me not to become frustrated about not always understanding

    • #478469
      Stevie Steiner
      Ambassador
      Registered On: June 11, 2020
      Topics: 49
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      Hi Grace!  Good question, you would think that we would understand women ( and much as one can, lol ).  I’ve always thought myself quite understanding of women, and therefore by extension, understanding of myself too.  I am starting to understand that “darker” side some girls have, you know, critiquing each others fashions, Haha.  Just a couple days ago I was watching a show with my friend and found myself criticizing the stars hair!  How it would look nicer ” if she just did….. “.  My friend looked at me saying – look at you, criticizing women’s hair, and intelligently too!   Then I commented on her dress, shoes, etc.  OMG!!  I dont want to be one of “those” girls!

      I guess I am understanding how hard women can be on each other that way 😯 😅.

      Stevie

    • #478337
      Caty Ryan
      Baroness
      Registered On: August 27, 2017
      Topics: 85
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      I think we CD’s do have far more empathy and feelings towards women… To me its a function of our (for want of a better phrase) “dual personality”. Plus perhaps that growing up, I was a lot closer to my mother than my father.

      I can back the above up by the fact that over my years on this mortal coil I have developed very close friendships with at least 3 women whom especially in one instance which, is as good as “close brother and sister”. I have no sisters, she has no brothers and its been like that for over 30 years. Sadly she lives in Ontario Canada and I’m down here in “Oz”, but that does not mean the bond is any weaker.

      EG she knew about Caty very early and was very accepting and sympathetic. Did not want to meet her, but…

      Same again with a “close cousin”  lady from Perth, Western Australia.. Tho we have lost touch in latter days.

      These people have meant the same to me in my life as the fellas I met in secondary school, 60 years ago

      Caty

       

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      • #478338
        Grace Scarlett
        Baroness - Annual
        Registered On: February 16, 2021
        Topics: 67
        Replies: 1399
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        Thanks for the insight Caty x

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    • #478233
      Trisha Lilly Hibbert
      Baroness
      Registered On: December 8, 2020
      Topics: 36
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      Hi Gracie,I think we do understand woman more than most men do. I have definitely learned more about how women feel in the past few months. I like dressing femininely everywhere. The other day I went to work in a leather skirt and nice blouse, I was going out after work. My beautiful GG  boss said she could never pull it off. It shows over thinking and effort we put in are often felt by GGs too. As a regular bloke I would have never thought she wasn’t as self confident as she looks.

      Love Trisha

    • #478191
      Polly Stewart
      Lady
      Registered On: January 2, 2021
      Topics: 12
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      Grace darling girl…

      I will simply state… until we have estrogen running through our bodies/brains we will never experience what women do.
      Perhaps those of us who have an over abundance of said hormone might but in general, no.
      However, the more we dress ‘en femme’, the more we go out and about, the more we improve our ‘looks’… the more we begin to feel the pressures of being a woman. The lewd looks, the inappropriate comments, the actual fear! The inequality, the disparaging remarks etc.
      My wife and I share very girlie moments like when she bought my some product from a a beauty store. She was so super excited as was I! We have shared advice on beauty/makeup stuff and she is always excited when I buy a new garment! Her excitements is so infectious too.
      I am tempering my ‘mansplaining’ and it is getting better, more by using personal experience of what I did wrong than any other explanation.
      Sadly though, I am still me, Polly. And until the HRT begins I shall just have to navigate my way through the various perils as best I can with my poor, tired male mind…

      Ohh… does that mean I shall have to juggle a bunch of tasks, doing them all badly? Women do like to boast of their multitasking’ abilities’…

      Polly 🤪😳🥺🧠🥾🦧💋💋💋

      • #478494
        stephanie plumb
        Baroness - Annual
        Registered On: November 17, 2018
        Topics: 152
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        Polly dear,  I must take issue with you about Oestrogen.

        Oestrogen is not involved in our thought processes per se. It is a neuroprotector that influences the brains ageing.  Too much oestrogen has been linked to alzheimers and  increased female aggression.  Oestrogen does effect mood but does not lead to any  personality changes.   So it doesn’t make us more female!   Rewiring the brain by repetitive femme actions builds new neural pathways that are feminised – so this is the way we become more feminine.

        I am a believer that the differences between men and women’s thought processes is not based on chemistry, but on neurological rewiring caused by nurture – the way we were raised from an early age to behave and think like the biological “gender” we were assigned at birth.   So essentially the only difference between men and women’s brains  is the way they were influenced by life’s experiences.

        The myth of male and female brains has been largely debunked by recent research.  The brain can be rewired to learn any task.

        Just my opinion.

        Hugs

        Stephanie P

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        • #478582
          Polly Stewart
          Lady
          Registered On: January 2, 2021
          Topics: 12
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          I largely agree with you plumb… so I will keep you informed of the effects when I start my oestrogen journey…
          Indeed, our brains are extremely, even unknowingly, complex. We are all able to ‘think’ and respond to different actions whichever sex we are and of course, our training has much to do with it. However, I still can’t help thinking there is a different ‘mode’, if you like, that relates to testosterone and oestrogen…

          We shall see… love Polly ❤️

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      • #478333
        Laura Lovett
        Lady
        Registered On: March 26, 2020
        Topics: 13
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        Polly wrote:”does that mean I shall have to juggle a bunch of tasks, doing them all badly? Women do like to boast of their multitasking’ abilities ”

        Unfortunately, my wife juggles multiple tasks and does them all incredibly well, thus showing up my pitiful attempts.

        I stick to the “man” tasks that she won’t even attempt because “It’s not how her female brain works”.

        I don’t understand that at all – a task is a task is a task, whether it’s fixing the dishwasher or checking the oil in the car.

        Neither are rocket science, so why do so many women just say they don’t understand these things?

        Love Laura

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    • #478174
      MelanieElizabeth
      Lady
      Registered On: January 9, 2021
      Topics: 10
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      I want to preface this by saying I’ve never been out dressed before so I can’t speak from experience but, I’ve read stories here about folks going out and had men staring at them and I don’t mean as a freak but gawking at them as an attractive woman. Sometimes to the point of being uncomfortable or concerned for personal safety any cd who has dealt with that has more of an understanding of women than the average male for sure. Cds that have dealt with that kind of attention whether they wanted it or not have definitely walked a mile in women’s shoes(literally and figuratively), I think they have a shared experience and a little peak into what it’s like to be a woman. To most men this is a foreign concept, being on that side of things isn’t something they have lived through but most woman and some cds have.

      • #478274
        Gabriela Romani
        Managing Ambassador
        Registered On: January 11, 2021
        Topics: 91
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        Well, that is a great point. Been there… is not fun. Forget about being attractive or not. When you are being looked at as potential prey, it is scary!
        So, yes, we can emphatize with that feeling too.
        A very good learning experience which hopefully we can use to teach our sons, nephews, students, coworkers to be less… maybe more respectful towards everybody.

        • #478335
          Laura Lovett
          Lady
          Registered On: March 26, 2020
          Topics: 13
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          TBH, as a 6’4″ guy with a little experience of Tae Kwon Do, I find it funny when guys check me out or flirt. It’s disgusting to me when they try to touch or even kiss me, but that’s because I find the male physique repulsive.

          I do have a good understanding why women would be spooked by the experience as a result though.

          I guess I am just a sucker for being told how gorgeous I look, when only my wife has ever said that to me in drab.

          Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

          Love Laura

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    • #478133
      Gabriela Romani
      Managing Ambassador
      Registered On: January 11, 2021
      Topics: 91
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      I’d say that in general, we are more understanding about things that we have experienced ourselves.
      But being understanding doesn’t mean that we can fully understand! It may be that we just try harder.

      Gabriela

    • #478110
      Amanda Burton
      Baroness - Annual
      Registered On: January 15, 2020
      Topics: 31
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      Well Grace my sweetie, I think we come to appreciate the effort it take to be a female, the work put into one’s looks and in deed fashion. One gets to understand a small degree of feminine modes. But will we ever truly understand the feminine mind and behavior accompanied with their  chemical make up that drives them. Every day small things we master, nails, high heels, makeup etc, but could we master the soft femininity that evolves from motherhood?. We aim to be feminine, but could we emulate  femininity and sexual chemistry, the way GG’s do naturally?.we are chemically diverse from one another, could GG ‘s understand us anymore than we of them? 

       

    • #478109
      Katie Time
      Duchess
      Registered On: April 3, 2021
      Topics: 19
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      Put me in front of a hallmark commercial and I’m crying, sometimes the feeling are close to the surface I can’t help but believe we have at least a little insight into their world. 💕💋 Katie

    • #478097
      Sarah Du Hessisse
      Lady
      Registered On: September 16, 2020
      Topics: 21
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      Hi Grace I don’t think I understand women any better, I just find myself having more time and patience with women. When I have offered my female opinion before, I usually get a ” what would you know response”, I should say I know a lot more than you realise. What I have noticed is if I compliment a female friend or colleague, I get a nice thank you and sometimes a nice girly chat. So the upshot for myself is my wife doesn’t recognise my feminine side, and I don’t understand her she has a best friend called Sarah and doesn’t know.

      xx

    • #478071
      MelanieElizabeth
      Lady
      Registered On: January 9, 2021
      Topics: 10
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      I definitely think we do as cders. We know how much work it is to get prepared to go out socially for one. My wife hates going to weddings or any function that requires dressing up(makeup , dresses ,pretty shoes etc). There can be pressure to look good and have makeup done right, (Lots of pictures and other women judging)I think most of us can identify with that feeling although I love to get dressed up even in drab. Secondly I think most of us are more in touch with our feelings than “regular men”. I for one have given a lot of thought to my need to dress which has in turn has made me look into my innermost feelings. Introspection isnt something a red blooded American man is encouraged to do. As men we just do what we want with little thought of why but I think society has made us that way. Women are generally raised to feel more empathy than men among other emotions that are looked upon as feminine. As a cd who has delved into his emotions in an effort to understand myself I think I may have stumbled onto feelings and emotions that have made me understand my wife and women in general better.

      • #478083
        Grace Scarlett
        Baroness - Annual
        Registered On: February 16, 2021
        Topics: 67
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        Thank you xx

    • #478062
      Stephanie Kennedy
      Princess
      Registered On: March 15, 2019
      Topics: 12
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      Hi Grace I still do not fully understand woman but if the truth be told I do not understand men either. I do understand the part of women that wants to feel love and desire from partner. I understand wanting to feel cute and pretty even if its just sometimes. I understand wanting to be heard even though i may not practice listening at times. I do not understand having estrogen being sent into my bloodstream and brain in order keep my body and brain in-tacked.  Where we have common ground we should be able to find compromise that would meet both our needs.

      Luv Stephanie

    • #478054
      ChloeC
      Duchess
      Registered On: November 5, 2019
      Topics: 11
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      A somewhat difficult question to answer as I personally think i do…to some extent but i have yet to actually walk that proverbially mile in ‘her’ shoes. Not that i havent tried!

      What i have learned and do use is to only answer direct questions from (and about) my SO when she asks, and to keep my responses fairly positive and more so when I suggest alternatives. Ive also learned that some and maybe many women do not take personal appearance criticism from a man…gently. Even if it is constructive which of course im sure it always is. (and that of course is the female within me)

    • #478042
      Krista
      Duchess
      Registered On: January 24, 2017
      Topics: 8
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      Good Morning Grace,

      great question!  My wife knows I am a CD and you know that I push the boundaries with her.  So I wear some degree of female clothing all the time; always underdressed and most of my clothes are androgynous.

      I’m not sure if I truly understand women more.  I certainly make a much more concerted effort to be more understanding, more empathetic, to be a better listener, to be a strong supporter.  I do all this not because I understand her better, but because I want her to be more supportive of me as a CD.  Like the time I was doing some plumbing while wearing bright pink panties – you guessed it, of course they showed while I was bent over under the sink and she saw them but she didn’t rant about it.  And she’s never said anything negative about my femme skinny jeans.  There’s a common saying that to understand someone, put yourself in their shoes.  Well if I put myself in my wife’s shoes, or even clothing, I wouldn’t get to wear some of the feminine clothes that I wear. I don’t think she owns anything pink; my wife wears mostly blue and gray t-shirts/sweaters with blue jeans (non-skinny).

      I suppose because I make such a concerted effort, and, I imagine other CDs with spouses who know, also make a strong effort and are more sensitive to the needs of our SO, it might be viewed as being more understanding. And I suppose I can go along with that.  Sounds good anyway.

      Take care, Big Hugs, Krista.

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    • #478040
      Inga Krasivaya
      Lady
      Registered On: January 18, 2021
      Topics: 18
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      What a great – and almost impossible to answer – question!  Start from the beginning:  do I think I understand women better… not sure as I started wearing women’s clothing way before I became interested in women for “other reasons” and does that mean that I haven’t experienced “both sides of the equation”?  Surely, unless you’ve seen both sides of the road, you can’t fully understand what it means to cross from one side to the next?  or does it mean you’ve already got all the answers?  Hmmm……  I’m “closeted” as you put it – but my SO never questions my “feminine” thinking on the grounds that she fully understand the political stance I inevitably take.  Overall, if I had to say one way or the other, then “Yes”; I think I have a little more understanding – especially as I see myself as two distinct people (who so often don’t quite see eye to eye……)  Now got to go and have a long think……  Hugs:  Inga.

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    • #478036
      Eva Kelly
      Duchess
      Registered On: March 1, 2021
      Topics: 7
      Replies: 266
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      Yes. My fiance was surprised how much I know about makeup and hair care. Often it seems like I can read her mind.

      Eva ⚘

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      • #478038
        Grace Scarlett
        Baroness - Annual
        Registered On: February 16, 2021
        Topics: 67
        Replies: 1399
        Has thanked: 4984 times
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        Hehe….❤️❤️

    • #478472
      LisaT
      Lady
      Registered On: January 31, 2021
      Topics: 48
      Replies: 553
      Has thanked: 446 times
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      My 85 yr old mother just nearly died laughing at your joke. When I was a child she suffered with PMT and was extremely dangerous with a frying pan. Fortunately I was faster than her.

      3 users thanked author for this post.
    • #478457
      Polly Stewart
      Lady
      Registered On: January 2, 2021
      Topics: 12
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      Hahaha…

      WOOF! 💋💋💋🐶🐩🦴

      Polly Macfarlane Stewart aka PMT!

      3 users thanked author for this post.
    • #478336
      Grace Scarlett
      Baroness - Annual
      Registered On: February 16, 2021
      Topics: 67
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      Laura K K…..

      You said…..

      Speaking of Hormones Polly beginning to understand more about women and issues they face. from health issues they face to the mood swings they have. “…..

      Reminds me of an old joke……

      What’s the difference between a woman with PMT and an angry  Rottweiler….

      ….the rottweiler doesn’t wear lipstick!!

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    • #478307
      Polly Stewart
      Lady
      Registered On: January 2, 2021
      Topics: 12
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      Ohhh… yes! I’m only just scratching the surface of feelings! You’re right that I have to wait for the oestrogen to change things for me… which was my whole point. 💋💋💋

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