• This topic has 31 replies, 32 voices, and was last updated 1 year ago by Anonymous.
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    • #705518
      Anonymous

      Hi ladies!

      Depending on where you live, it’s already 2023 or only a few hours away, so I wish all of my sisters here on CDH a wonderfully feminine 2023! I hope all your dreams, wishes and desires come true for you!

      But to end the year, here’s one more poll for you, one that will probably make you stop and think a bit before you answer.

      In today’s world, the term “feminized male” has come to have negative connotations, as it means that a man has voluntarily or involuntarily given up his manhood to embrace more feminine aspects in his life. For most of the world, that appears to be something terrible, something that no real man would voluntarily want to do, but for those of us who are crossdressers, is that such a bad thing? I mean, we actually want to feminize ourselves. We want our bodies to look like women’s do, so we shave all the hair off of them, we wear lingerie and shapewear, we learn how to wear and walk in high heels, how to apply makeup, how to do our nails, how to coordinate outfits with our jewelry, shoes and makeup, how to pick the right perfume, and how to act as feminine as possible so that when we go out we are seen and treated as women. In other words, we’re feminized males.

      Depending on who you are, you may or may not agree.

      It’s a head scratcher for some, I’m sure. For me though, I do consider myself a feminized male, but I take pride in it because it reflects my commitment to embracing everything feminine as much as possible in my life, so that I can show the world that I am truly a woman and not a man. If I had my way, I would live full time as a woman, work full time as a woman, and do everything else that women do as a woman.

      So of course, that got me to wondering… Do you consider yourself to be a feminized male or not?

      Hugs, and a Happy 2023 to all of you,

      Holly

    • #705536

      I would not use that term to describe myself.  There is an implied “feminized by whom?” question (did your mother/wife/girlfriend/boyfriend/SO make you do it?). Yes I have feminine qualities, yes I have feminine expression.  But feminine and feminized have two very different meanings.

    • #705540

      I am transgender, a trans woman. I have transitioned and I’m now legally a female, a woman. There’s no more male to feminize.

      Hugs, and Happy New Year!

      Ms. Lauren M

    • #705547
      ChloeC
      Duchess

      Hi Holly, well, I understand what you’re asking, but as has already been suggested, the problem with the term ‘feminized male’ is that it historically and still currently has the attachment that some outside body, be it female or male assisted in some way (from I would guess 1% to 100%, although I would suggest closer to the higher number) you in becoming feminized.

      Now you may have wanted it, but again, it could also (at least to how I’ve read about it) be in the range from 0-100%.

      As such, the term unfortunately also suggests that there’s some element of being forced to some degree and that there might be some elements of fetishistic behavior involved.

      But I also accept that your definition can have validity.  The problem is that that phrase is tossed around way too much and has too many connotations along with it to be viewed without some unsettling emotions or negative feelings.

      I accept that I’m transgendered, which to me means that I feel or believe or accept that I’m female inside.  So, does that mean when I dress that I’m trying to feminize myself? Does that mean when cis-women put on typically feminine attire that they are trying to feminize themselves? I just don’t believe they do.  They’re just trying to be themselves and dress to their own innate desires.

      But that’s just my personal thoughts.  And a thought-provoking poll it is!

      Hugs, ChloëC

      ps Oh! And Happy New Year to everyone here! Even those lurking, come on in and join us!

      • This reply was modified 1 year ago by ChloeC.
    • #705551

      I feel more like a man trapped in a male role while longing to be free enough to dress as I wish. Society has me all bottled up. But if I were a full time woman I think I would be so much more relaxed and less anxious,

    • #705557
      Emily Alt
      Managing Ambassador

      For the sake of argument, I would consider myself a masculinized female.

      We all start out female in the womb.  Somewhere along the way we get a Y chromosome and become male.  In my case, that Y chromosome did a lousy job.  I dunno if it was genetic failure or divine intervention or luck of the draw or whatever.  No matter.  I’ve thought of myself as female since my earliest memories.

      Estrogen is fixing that mistake.  I’m trans.

      /EA

       

    • #705578

      Interesting question – and I had to read it twice to be sure I understood exactly what I was voting on.  In the terms you define, then yes – I do consider myself to be a feminised male, though I don’t take it quite as far as you evidently do.  While I’m en femme, I try to be as feminine as possible, and when I’m in boy mode I still consciously try to not be ridiculously masculine – no shouting, minimise the swearing, always be polite, show as much consideration for others as possible etc etc etc.  I realise this may also fall under the description of “Just being a decent person” but I’m old enough to remember an era when “Males Were Males!” and behaviour “unbecoming of a man” could end up causing you serious injury.  (Mind – that era wasn’t so long ago, and I’m not sure it’s totally finished even now.)  Feminisation (in all it’s degrees) is a very different thing that what I’m told is called “Sissyfication”; a concept I’ve read about and (especially given the concept of force and unwillingness involved) could never be attracted to.  All in all, I agree with your viewpoint… just not your idea of how to spell “feminised”!  Holly XXX

    • #705584
      Roberta Broussard
      Duchess - Annual

      I honestly dont know how to answere that. I suppose since i was born male i am technicly a male. I think dress and act feminine at every chance i get. so again technicly i might be considerd a feminized male.

      However, that just doesn’t seem to fit me. For the majority of my life, I had an obligation to be a male. Everything about my life experiences and interactions trained me to be a male. Every member of my family reinforced this.

      My dabbling in moments of underdressing were done in my rare occasions of private time. So i kept my feelings bottled up nice and tight for all of those years.

      Its only now since I’ve retired that I’ve allowed my deepest felt emotions to bubble up to the surface. The reason I’m conflicted with my answerer is that I just don’t feel like a 100% Male. I’m not 100 % female either. Too many years of conditioning as a male to easily wipe all that away. While technically I should answerer yes, emotionally I feel like I’m more of a masculinized female. I used to think I was a male who cross-dressed as a woman but I’ve come to realize that I might really have been a woman who cross-dressed as a man.

      .

      • #705598

        Hi Roberta, Your words reflect how I am too. I’ve recently retired and have been dressing more  (mostly in the closet for now). As the saying goes ” I feel like a lesbian trapped in a man’s body”.

      • #705602
        Carolyn Kay
        Baroness - Annual

        Your reply definitely holds true for so many of us, the bottom line is – it’s complicated!

      • #706265

        Roberta, I love your perspective.

        .

    • #705585

      Well yesterday morning at the gym I showered, epilated my legs and chest, moisturized my body put on some facial cream, used ladies lavender scented Secret deodorant  slipped on a pair of panties under my male pants and started my day this is my daily routine 75% of the time so yes I would say I consider myself a feminized man.

    • #705614

      I said other because I am working on becoming more feminine, a long way to go.  Some of my 2023 resolutions, all about stephanie, include working on a lot more feminine issues including dressing more and nicer, health and skin care to really including my great wife in my journey.  Dressed now even with wig having coffee with my wife

    • #705627

      Hi Holly i voted other, at the moment I’m not a feminized male as I’m still in the closet because I’m married, if i was to get divorced then i would totally live as a woman, I would dress 24/7 from getting up in the morning to going to bed i would be a woman, I would even wear a nightie to bed, i would purge all my drab man clothes, I would be totally feminine X

      Hugs Rozalyn X 🎀

      I’ve always wanted to have some feminine Tattoos done X

    • #705631

      Being feminized is a posititve thing. I am one of the men who has voluntaryily allowed myself to become more feminine.

    • #705642
      Rhonda Lee
      Baroness - Annual

      Your question defines “feminized male” to mean that a man has voluntarily or involuntarily given up his manhood to embrace more feminine aspects in his life. By this definition a “YES” implies that one believes themself to be a man and that feminization can be voluntary or involuntary. Some of the responses don’t make similar assumptions. The question is indeed difficult to answer, not because it is ill-defined, but because it is hard for some to accept your definitions of terms which have strong connotations which may be inconsistent with your or their definitions, in the eyes of some, or because some may feel it is requiring them to define themselves in ways they refuse to be defined. That makes poll results difficult to interpret. 

      I personally like questions like this, as they make me peel the onion and stick to the essence of what is being asked. Whether I agree with your definition is beside the point. The question is valid and thought-provoking, and I appreciate your effort to define your terms.

      For me, feminization is both voluntary and involuntary. I don’t believe I have a choice, which makes it involuntary, but I have found the feminine side of me very important and for the most part would voluntarily embrace it, even though it has disrupted my family and relationships, but the fact it has led to so much damage in my life makes that aspect difficult to assess. I am glad you clarified that it can be either voluntary or involuntary, as I don’t need to answer those questions to respond to yours. I am also glad that you require me to answer based on who I am, not who I may wish to be, fantasize about being, or foresee I might be someday. It’s a reality check for those caught in the pink fog. One can’t always foresee the future or understand the present, but examining what IS, as opposed to what MIGHT BE is always useful.

      I see myself as a man who is blessed with both strong feminine and masculine aspects I cannot ignore. It has been a useful mind journey to examine who I am. My answer is an unambiguous “yes.” Thanks so much for this question!

    • #705680
      Trish White
      Baroness

      Hi Holly, I said yes but our form of feminizing is not the same as what most people think of. I know there’s a lot of stories depicting women or dominatrix type feminizing an unwilling male which is most of the public would think of.

      We, how ever, feminize ourselves or, for those lucky few, have our wives do it as well. This is totally different from my first paragraph’s description. It’s not a spur of the moment thing but and actual part of us.

      Thanks for another great post Holly,

      Trish

    • #705709

      I chose ‘Other’ because male me isn’t particularly feminine, and female me doesn’t depend on something changing in male me, it just comes out. That said I was raised as a genetic male, and my female expression is imperfect, having to learn all the basics that genetic females learn by being raised female. So in some respect I suppose I’m feminizing my female self, but even that feels like a stretch. After all, learning the skills that hone and enhance my femininity doesn’t change my fundamental nature. Those skills enrich my experience of being feminine but they don’t “make” me any more or less feminine innately. For me, the term “feminization” is inseparably linked to BDSM, and while those experiences are part of my journey to my understanding of myself, I wasn’t “feminized” into something I haven’t always been.

      xo, Nikki

    • #705789
      Peggy Sue Williams
      Duchess - Annual

      The way my wife and I view it there are two women living in our home.  Everything in the home reflects a female touch, looks female, smells female, is female.  The only exception is one of us (that’s me) has to sometimes take on the male role, to include wearing male clothes, in order to conduct some temporary business outside the home.

      Yeah, I guess I am a feminized male.  Loving every day of it too!

       

    • #705795

      I would say yes to a point.  I keep myself shaved all over. I am fully dressed a lot.  Always underdressed when at work.  Toes are always painted.  So yes to a point. I retired from my primary career (still working on a 2nd career) so I have more freedom and a little less scrutiny.

      I will quote Roberta and say “I am a woman crossdressing as a Man”.

      Susan

    • #705891
      J J
      Lady

      I take issue with the whole feminine/masculine divide. If being masculine means being a Neanderthal jerk, then count me out. If being feminine means being empathetic to others, then fine, consider me feminine. Personally I am just a man who believes being empathetic (and all those other traits) is just being human.

    • #705935

      Geez I dont watch action movies or any violence type movies but prefer romance and comedy and especially the hallmark movies. Same goes for books and like Nora Roberts. I have little ability to do mechanical things but prefer gardening and cooking. I adore fashion and interior decorating and growing flowers. My place is furnished as though a woman lived here with pink and light blue colors and tones. The bedroom has flowers when in season and stuffed animals on the bed. I guess I am a feminized male using traditional definitions

    • #706076
      Fiona Black
      Baroness - Annual

      Holly,

      No, I do not consider myself a feminized male. When I’m a male, I act like a male and no one would ever guess that I cross dress. When I’m Fiona, which is most of the time, I am certainly feminized but at that point I do not consider myself a “male” or a “man in a dress”. I am something else entirely – a cross dresser somewhere along the trans spectrum who is more comfortable presenting as a woman.

      So am I a feminized male? When presenting as a male, no. When presenting as a woman, I do not consider myself a male any longer so the question really doesn’t apply then.

      Fiona

    • #706200
      Cece X
      Lady

      Thanks for another interesting post, Holly. The responses are fascinating.
      My answer seems to be in the minority. I am male, and do not feel like I am feminine nor want to adopt any feminine qualities. I am very comfortable thinking and acting masculine. My desire to wear feminine clothing does not feminize me, nor vice versa, I do not dress to become feminized. I am thoroughly a bearded, hairy man in a dress.

    • #706247
      Mona
      Duchess

      Difficult question, indeed, Holly.  My response was no because in my experience (and as others have stated), the idea of feminization is most frequently associated with fetish/BDSM activities (e.g., “forced feminization” and/or the closely related “sissification”).  I am overwhelmingly a heterosexual male who loves femininity so deeply that I am motivated to embody and express the feminine myself by dressing periodically.

      Let’s face it, even today most of society continues to view male feminization quite negatively.  In the eyes of many (especially our fellow males), a man choosing to engage in traditionally feminine activities or presentation instantly becomes a lesser person.  Essentially, a feminized male is one who has willingly chosen to give up his “male privilege” status to go play for the other team – a team still perceived by many to be lesser or weaker.

      Hopefully this is changing, but it will continue to take time – well-established cultural norms tend not to die easily (witness the current backlash against indoctrinating children to adopt an LBGTQ lifestyle).

      Mona

      • This reply was modified 1 year ago by Mona.
    • #706332

      I have to agree with Mona when she said “the idea of feminization is most frequently associated with fetish/BDSM activities (e.g., “forced feminization” and/or the closely related “sissification”).”

      When I think of feminization, I think more fetish/BSDM activities and that is something that I really do not like personally. As they say, “To each is their own” and I know that many people like that kind of activity. It just isn’t my “cup of tea”.

      Hugs and Kisses 💋💋💋
      Michelle

    • #706339
      Davina
      Lady

      Thank you for this very interesting question! No, I am not a “feminized man”. I am a man, male by birth, who simply likes to cross dress when I choose to do so.
      For those who do identify as feminized men, I am happy for you. So long as each of us are happy with what we choose to do, we all should  support it.

    • #706357
      Lola Caprice
      Baroness

      Hi Holly.

      I chose Other.  I suppose when I am fully en femme, in that moment I am a feminized male.  But I do not desire to live as a woman.  I just like enjoy the trappings of feminine dress on occasion.  For me it’s more of a passtime, cosplay if you will.  I do get excited about the next time I will get to be Lola or the anticipation of trying on a new outfit, lipstick shade, ect but it’s not because I’m not happy as a male or more happy as a woman.  It’s just fun and feels good.

      💖Lola

    • #706372
      Kelly Lee
      Duchess - Annual

      I go with “other” because of same reasons as most others, who did it and so on.
      Also, it’s not like I ever been interested in the macho man. When I dress I change my clothes and that’s it.

      /kelly

    • #706687
      Mary Priscilla
      Duchess - Annual

      An emphatic “yes” and I am proud to share with those who know and honor my feminine persona. Becoming feminized has been a life-altering gift for which I will be eternally grateful and fulfilled.

    • #708662
      Anonymous

      I Consider myself to be a female that has been in the wrong body. I am not a man that wants to dress up feminine but rather a female that wants to be me.

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