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I go for a daily walk around the neighbourhood and when do it dressed I many times feel the need to change to something that stand out less. I have meet lots of people on my walk but it’s several months since I did see anyone in a skirt or low heels. It’s always pants and sneakers.
I still go out in heels and skirt but to stand out a bit less I have jeans skirt with leggings under (it was winter after all) and less fancy high heel boots. Only time I dare to show off a little more was when I took a walk downtown since then I could be coming from office or so (posted a pic of my downtown outfit in my profile). Now even walking downtown it’s rare I see anything of interest, maybe a few low heel ankle boots and one or two skirts – among hundreds of women.
Now it’s warming up, summer is here and that only makes it worse. I feel that taking a long walk in summer dress and stiletto heels would stand out more than if I was wearing a gorilla costume.
/kt
This is always the rub for us cross dressers isn’t it? We long to be as girly as we possibly can, but as society has become far less formal and far more relaxed, women tend to dress down quite a bit and clothes look basically the same as men’s except for a couple of feminine flairs or necessary allowances for curves.
Now where is the fun in that? I wear jeans all the time! 😂
I think it depends what is important to you. Is passing or blending your goal ? Or is getting a lot of attention by wearing high heels and a short dress or some very tight pants. I think it depends on the venue and event. If its shopping, look at what other women are wearing. Next time your in the mall, count how many women you see wearing a dress. If you go to a park at night in a sexy dress be ready for the attention and possibly a bad situation. Just my opinion.
TerriI know what you mean. Twice now I’ve had a stroll through our local mall wearing my spring dress and 2″ wedges. All the women walking around the mall were wearing jeans, tennis shoes and plain tops. The only women wearing dresses or skirts in the mall were some store employees. Yes I was over dressed for a typical customer but not overly so. It did feel wonderful to present myself as a woman and frightening at the same time.
SandyWhen I step out I don’t want it to be in jeans, sneakers and a hoodie top, I can do that right now. I will want to be identifiably in female attire otherwise what’s the point? I don’t mean a micro mini and thigh boots with 5″ heels but definitely a dress or skirt/blouse/jacket combo and I would not feel overdressed in that – just happy.
Hugs
Diana
I’m with you on this one Stephanie. I do not even see it as hiding in plain sight, as you so aptly put it. I’m not hiding, I’m out there.
In my youth women and girls wore dresses and skirts pretty much all the time and that is what I loved. Times changed and modern girls are almost always clad in jeans or leggings.
However there are still plenty of girls that wear a dress or skirt. The availability in the shops proves that. I am never short of choices for my wardrobe.
I have dresses of all styles for all seasons and skirts too. I never feel uncomfortable and blend in with everyone else.
Like Stephanie I wear what I like.
I guess it all depends on what one strive for. For a start I don’t like to stand out and when I dress it’s because of the feeling more then to show off.
My issue is that if jeans and t-shirt is the norm I don’t see the point of wearing womens clothes, I wear pants way to much already.
If I put on some casual skirt I feel people may take a glance but that’s about it.
If I put on what I really want which is tight skirt, 5″ heels and stuff like that I feel like I’m wearing a bulletin board on me or something and everyone looking hard at me.
I guess my issue is that while I have built up comfort to some level I’m leaving my comfort zone when dressing up like that./kt
They started a program at work where I get paid if I get a certain number of steps in a day (they pay in points which can be redeemed for gift card). In the summer of 2018 I realized I wasn’t getting in the steps over the weekend. I decided to walk around my neighborhood. After one weekend, I decided if I’m going to get paid for taking a walk, I’m going to enjoy it and do it en femme. Most of the people don’t know me either way anyway. I started walking around in a tank top, miniskirt, and pink sneakers. As the fall came, my skirts and sleeves got longer, and I started wearing a coat. But I realized I’d need some leggings when the weather got cold. So I did that for a couple of months. Then I bought an ankle length coat. With it closed, you couldn’t tell I was wearing a skirt and tights and not leggings, so I started walking in a skirt covered by the coat. I went back to pantyhose in the spring, and bare legs again in the summer of 2019, pantyhose in the fall, tights again in the winter.
When the pandemic hit, I realized I would need to take the walk almost every day (bad weather days I could walk on my treadmill, or I’d get the steps in by shoveling snow off my driveway). So I started walking every day. And always in a skirt (or occasionally a dress), usually in sneakers (pink, white or black; occasionally in flats; on a few rare occasions in boots). I often see the same people, many who smile, wave or say hi to me as we pass. They only know Alison, and I doubt they suspect I’m a male. I think it has just become my modus operandi. One day the postman actually stopped to talk to me saying that he’s seen me walking and that he started walking for his health too.
Last Halloween I wore a white pullover sweater, a poodle skirt with some petticoats, a white cardigan, and white sneakers and went for an almost 90 minute walk. (It was cold that day so I had a thermal layer under my pullover, and two pairs of stockings.) Not too many people were out, but I got the attention of people in the cars, honking, flashing their lights, smiling or shouting approval as they drove past.
This weekend I went out wearing pantyhose, took a few photos as I usually do, and realized it was a bit too chilly. I went inside, put a pair of leggings over the pantyhose, and went out wearing the skirt over the leggings, a look I occasionally see women do.
Easter Sunday I actually did see another woman with a guy and she was wearing a skirt; otherwise the women are always wearing pants or jeans.
Also, for the past year I have been going to the supermarket in a skirt or dress (I got complimented on my skirt once by another woman), and have gone shopping other places as well. (I even got into a car accident last summer while en femme; fortunately I only had minor bruises, but had to deal with the police and ambulance en femme.)
So yes, I almost always go out in a skirt. No, others aren’t wearing a skirt or dress (with a very few exceptions). So I do dress differently but not in-your-face outlandishly differently. I expect many are now used to it, since I don’t seem to get strange looks from people. That would make me say that I don’t feel as if I’m overdressed.
KellyTerry,When I ,as Michelle,go shopping ,I can do jeans and a top <must not forget my purse>,but if I am dress shopping or just want to feel pretty,you will find me in a skirt and blouse or in a dress and heels.At this point in my life I dress to be comfortable with myself.While dress shopping at Macys and Dillards,I have had many real women compliment me on my attire and it feels great that just maybe I have struck a chord in the ladies memory that says “Its time for me ,a real lady to dress more feminine”.Kelly ,please dress as you will and enjoy your femininety.Sincerely ,Michelle.
I don’t feel that I get horribly overdressed for the most part. I were longer skirts for neighborhood walks with flats or sandals, depending on the weather. Cotton/denim make up the skirt material mostly. But even in just ladies jeans, they are clean and pressed, not slouchy or washed and worn straight out of the dryer. I am the kind of girl who refuses to pay good money for jeans that are already ‘stressed’ or have their hems not stitched like so many women do today.
At the mall I would say I am not the best dressed, but I am definitely not in my pajama pants and flip flops either. I dress to blend really, but it a presentable blend. Now, going out with close friends or FWB’s, I will crank it up a notch because it is, to me anyway, a chance to show mow much I can polish up for certain people or occasions. I just soooo wish I could manage heels again, in my twenties I could even run in them. Maybe that’s why I can’t anymore.
PaulaF
Hi Kelly,
I know how you feel; I have often lamented the fact that GGs don’t wear dresses anymore, and if I wear one (I love dresses), it feels like wearing a sign which says “CD here”. I’ve recently reached a level of confidence in myself where I no longer fret about this; I wear my skirt or dress daily…and so far, no mobs with pitchforks after me. Not even a pointed finger. AND the tide may be turning; all the stores are featuring a huge variety of dress for Spring this year (unlike the past few years). Who knows? You and I may even be fashion vanguards.
P.S.: I noted with joy that almost all ladies were in dresses for Easter Sunday; I enjoyed the fashion show.Hugs,
Bettylou
[quote quote=473029]When I step out I don’t want it to be in jeans, sneakers and a hoodie top, I can do that right now.[/quote]
That is pretty much what I feel. I like to wear skirt and heels but how can one blend in when no one else is even close?Yes, confidence is one thing that makes or breaks the outing/outfit and I’m working on it. Yesterday I was going to go out in the backyard to check on some things but when I noticed the neighbour on their deck and with that having full view of me just a few meters away I did chicken out – this time. I was wearing a colourful summery outfit and while we don’t really know them (they keep to them self just like us) I think it was mostly because possible confrontation that I don’t feel ready for if it can be avoided.
/kt
[quote quote=474258]Maybe, they would be saying… “Wow, what a fab skirt!”[/quote]
And then maybe they go to the basement/attic and dig out their own skirt. I think the best I can do is just stop being afraid of standing out, maybe more people put on a skirt.At some point when I was walking around I was wondering how may CD it is just down the street. Statistically speaking it’s probably several that are deep in the closet and even more that done it at some time in their life.
I wish that coming spring more would dare to get out. Imagine that all CD in your neighbourhood one day suddenly did come out in skirt/dress heels and so (no matter what they look like) on one sunny day, that would be fabulous 🙂/kt
[quote quote=472832]I think it depends on the venue and event. If its shopping, look at what other women are wearing. Next time your in the mall, count how many women you see wearing a dress.[/quote]
A week ago I was out shopping and did then actually try to keep 2 numbers in my head, number of women I see and number that has at least a skirt or a dress. I lost count around 150-0./kt
I read all of your comments with interest. Unfortunately for me I don’t like the style of dress of the majority of women in our area…Northern Wi. I wear what I like that I look good in. There is a lot I can’t pull off. Have to at least cover my arms and midsection. Not very feminine I’m afraid. Anyway I almost always wear attractive feminine clothes. I often do stand out but I don’t dress to blend or please others. I have received a lot of compliment on my clothes. Usually from younger women. If I stand out it is because others under dress. Not that I overdress. Besides I love it when I catch a man watching me walk away. Bye girls.
Not ventured out but would certainly be overdressed in my local area in a skirt or dress. Occasionally see women in a skirt but they do catch your attention as it’s rare. Those you see are usually dressed for work so aren’t too glam.
Wonder if women feel self conscious if dressed up when no one else is? Do often think if was a full time dresser would I be heading out in skirt with heels and sheer tights regularly?
Well somebody has to be buying dresses and skirts besides us ladies😊. The younger generation of women in my office wear nice dresses and skirts regularly and while the heels are not terribly high neither are the flats. My fem side takes careful note of the fashion while the other side notes other things😇
I wore a dress and heels to order a takeout sandwich in a Subway sandwich shop. A little overdressed. I felt like I was wearing a sign that said “CD here”. Did I care? No! The two workers stared, but didn’t say anything. I got my sandwich and left.
Stephanie, I hear you! I agree, and I think it works. I want to be seen as a woman, and if I wear androgynous clothes, even if they are from the women’s section, they might not be noticable as a woman. That is just fine on those days that I might be concerned about being seen as male. The clothes are the same as what some young men are wearing these days!
In addition, women support women, and almost always they will support a trans woman. I’m learning to look for something to compliment any woman I see because that’s what she usually does when she sees me. I want to be prepared. That’s when I know my intention (to be seen as a woman) is acknowledged. Love it!
Plumb, darling…
You said “Oh, that woman’s wearing a skirt, how unusual, in this weather.”
Maybe, they would be saying… “Wow, what a fab skirt!”… loving the colours in your wardrobe and that suits me very well indeed! I dress for me too. Polly’s sense of fashion is when one goes out in public one always dresses for some small impact. Whether it is in fashion, style, respect for womanhood… one must make the effort! Otherwise, why do we bother?
I’m Polly and I’m a woman!Love Polly
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