- February 10, 2023 at 11:53 am #717260Fiona-Ann MossParticipantRegistered On: October 7, 2018Topics: 402Replies: 1269Has thanked: 3844 timesBeen thanked: 5159 times
Hi everyone. Now the question for today is do you get nervous before going out dressed up? I do!!!! i admit it, i get the collywobbles and a feeling of dread! I guess its the kind or person i am, fear of the unknown although that said, i have been a Radio Broadcaster for Three years and i still get a nervous tummy before a show (its the best laxative i know!).
Sooo, are you of a nervous disposition or do you tackle going out dressed, head on, and tackle it without a care in the world? if you do, i envy you!!
Love Fiona xx
Total of 35 users thanked author for this post. Here are last 20 listed.
- February 19, 2023 at 3:20 pm #719370Brittney AndrewsLadyRegistered On: August 1, 2019Topics: 3Replies: 864Has thanked: 57414 timesBeen thanked: 2377 times
I’ve been going out among my local CD & LGBTQ community fully dressed as a woman since September 2018. While never nervous; all it takes is a deep breath to remove that last little bit of “uneasiness” and then with a final look in the mirror and saying to myself, “You got this, Girl”. After that; I’m completely comfortable and out the door with my head held high and a smile on my face.
1 user thanked author for this post.
- February 16, 2023 at 8:50 pm #718756Michelle TrottRegistered On: April 7, 2021Topics: 1Replies: 687Has thanked: 2974 timesBeen thanked: 3179 times
- February 16, 2023 at 7:10 pm #718740JulieLadyRegistered On: March 19, 2021Topics: 25Replies: 212Has thanked: 73 timesBeen thanked: 590 times
Show no fear honey! I just enjoy myself when out in public as the woman I want to be sweetie.
- February 15, 2023 at 8:44 am #718391Sarah KanterLadyRegistered On: April 25, 2019Topics: 25Replies: 292Has thanked: 700 timesBeen thanked: 1785 times
I do, but it’s also part of the fun. to be completely honest, i can’t always tell the difference between nervousness and excitement. Without getting into a bunch of hippy-mumbo-jumbo, I think a real part of how we experience any emotion, is how we interpret it.
- February 15, 2023 at 6:36 am #718358Nancy GammsLadyRegistered On: March 1, 2017Topics: 15Replies: 331Has thanked: 175 timesBeen thanked: 1076 times
In general yes since it was not very frequent. But if i was on a trip where i was able to do it multiple days in a row it became second nature. I just stopped thinking “omg your going out dressed” and being self conscious of mannerisms and voice as they became more natural. The building of confidence is the key.
- February 15, 2023 at 6:35 am #718357Staci GreenLadyRegistered On: March 2, 2018Topics: 0Replies: 29Has thanked: 181 timesBeen thanked: 141 times
I feel like i may get nervous always beforw going out, which ive decided accompanies the excitement as well…good nervousness vs bad nervousness is for me always rhe fulcrum. I enjoy rhe good and relish in it later on… great question! Love it…
- February 15, 2023 at 4:54 am #718342
- February 13, 2023 at 6:44 pm #718053
- February 13, 2023 at 4:23 pm #718027Brenda MaidenformLadyRegistered On: December 17, 2018Topics: 3Replies: 138Has thanked: 234 timesBeen thanked: 605 times
Yes I get nervous when I dress!! Every time I go out. Not that I will be recognized. More likely that I might get harassed by someone who doesn’t know when to stop.
I was at a convenience store when a crossdresser walked in. Some guy started harassing him and wouldn’t stop. The CD turned around to leave and the guy shoved him in his back out the door. The CD turned around and dropped him with one punch. He was still on the ground when I left. That would be me and don’t need the trouble for standing up for myself. So far a few stares but many complements about my outfits. Hope it stays that way.
- This reply was modified 9 months ago by Brenda Maidenform.
- February 15, 2023 at 1:22 am #718325Roberta BroussardDuchess - AnnualRegistered On: July 20, 2020Topics: 7Replies: 687Has thanked: 8795 timesBeen thanked: 3534 times
I have had times when I was considering where to go, I would think with a guy’s brain. Then wonder why I felt out of place. For example. I was out driving one Saturday afternoon. I stopped in at bar for a beer, on my way home. The bar is on the river and it’s a place I’ve been too many times. It wasn’t a dive, just a typical river bar. I get my beer and step back to an open window overlooking the river. I start looking around and there are about 30 guys in there and only two 20 something girls. Everyone was watching LSU Football and playing pool. I’m forgetting how I presented myself and almost went to challenge a pool table. Fortunately, I didn’t. That was all just something a woman my age would not do. Especially by herself. That was a guy’s world and being in there by myself, alone. This just didn’t fit.
I still forget myself sometimes but try to think with a woman’s brain, when considering where and how
I go, when out.
- February 13, 2023 at 5:58 pm #718045
- February 13, 2023 at 2:15 pm #717992AnonymousTopics: 0Replies: 0Has thanked: 0 timesBeen thanked: 0 times
To start, I’m not an overly anxious person. I will get anxious and nervous in certain situations though. When I go out I don’t get nervous anymore. I used to but now I’m confident in my look and it just feels natural.
- February 13, 2023 at 2:00 pm #717983Kandace KussenLadyRegistered On: January 5, 2023Topics: 10Replies: 52Has thanked: 242 timesBeen thanked: 375 times
I always get nervous. In the beginning while dressing the nerves are more excitement, than as I’m grabbing the car keys to head out I start shivering with nerves. My mind races with things that could go wrong , but the sheer excitement of being a woman out on the town quickly puts those nerves to bed…. Until the drive begins, nerves begin as cars pass me on the highway wondering what would happen if I had a flat….. then as I pull off the exit the excitement of pulling into a gas station or a coffee shop kicks in, until ultimately I get my first “ Good evening Sweetheart” do I begin to feel that I am all woman tonight!!!
- February 12, 2023 at 2:05 pm #717739Jill LaceyLadyRegistered On: December 25, 2022Topics: 4Replies: 366Has thanked: 442 timesBeen thanked: 1175 times
Great question Fiona. A few weeks ago we were in Watertown, NY at Applebees for dinner. In come four ladies aged around twenty five. Three were in leggings and t shirts or sweat shirts with sandals and the fourth was done up to the nines. I smiled as they passed me. Three returned smiles but the fourth could not smile because her nerves had taken over, nerves and fear. She was terrified and so excited at the same time. She was out having the time of her life and the fear of being read was all over her face, poor thing. Needless to say, being dressed for the Kings Coronation didn’t help her case but hey, she was in heaven and that’s all that mattered I thought to myself. I almost went to her to offer my support but thought better of it. She had the protection of her three friends and having a trans woman come up to her in a restaurant might have even too much for her. The best part was my wife and I were probably the only two there that knew. Oh to be young again!
My wife and I were probably the only two that knew
- February 12, 2023 at 11:05 am #717689Jill LaceyLadyRegistered On: December 25, 2022Topics: 4Replies: 366Has thanked: 442 timesBeen thanked: 1175 times
- February 12, 2023 at 9:27 am #717676Tonya JohnsonLadyRegistered On: July 17, 2021Topics: 1Replies: 120Has thanked: 212 timesBeen thanked: 352 times
Oh yes. I get nervous every time before I go out. Some of it has to do with I don’t get the opportunity to get out as often as I would like but some of it is just because the public is still a big unknown to us cross-dressers. I really don’t care about being outed anymore but there are a few non-accepting crazies out there. You just have to be careful, watch your surroundings and enjoy life.
- This reply was modified 9 months ago by Tonya Johnson.
- February 12, 2023 at 2:08 pm #717747
- February 12, 2023 at 8:25 am #717656AnonymousLadyTopics: 0Replies: 0Has thanked: 0 timesBeen thanked: 0 times
Yes I do get nervous before going out because I don’t get the opportunity often enough to feel confident.
Is my makeup passable and not clownish? Is my hair ok? Am I wearing the right outfit for where I’m going? Do I look like an every day female out shopping or a man in a skirt? Will I run into any negative people who will laugh at me? Will I run into someone I know? Can I walk any distance in these heels? Can I drive in these heels? What if I get pulled by the police? Oh god! Should I take a change of clothes? What if I lose my purse or its stolen with all my money and ID? Can I walk and move like a female? Will creepy men hit on me? What if I have to go to the restroom? Which one? So many doubts and questions run through my mind before opening that door. Its scary and thrilling at the same time but I tell myself to just go for it! Now or never!
I get nervous every time but when I do get out my doubts fade fairly quickly when I see no one is laughing and pointing fingers. I begin to feel so happy and wonderful presenting as Michelle and want to show the whole world.
- February 12, 2023 at 7:29 am #717653Becky DavisLadyRegistered On: February 10, 2022Topics: 0Replies: 229Has thanked: 3450 timesBeen thanked: 963 times
Living in a small town myself and during the spring and summer I work for the city I only go out during the early mornings before it get to light out, and after dark. But the times I have I’m scared, but once I get in the car and go it gets to be fun. I have been going shopping in my woman’s jeans more and more with a cute top on under my coat. I wouldn’t pass no matter how much make-up I were to put on… LOL
- February 12, 2023 at 6:39 am #717639Ashley KonnersLadyRegistered On: August 15, 2020Topics: 52Replies: 963Has thanked: 3438 timesBeen thanked: 4922 times
Yes I do but it doesn’t stop me from continuing to go out. The one thing I have noticed that I don’t have a problem wearing women’s clothing , makeup and perfume but still presenting as a man with no nervousness at all but when fully dressed with wig I do have a brief moment when I get nervous just before stepping out. But once out I own it and enjoy my time out.
- February 11, 2023 at 10:42 am #717460Nikki Just NikkiLadyRegistered On: September 29, 2022Topics: 10Replies: 261Has thanked: 1627 timesBeen thanked: 1650 times
Like others have said, my nervousness is quickly eclipsed by other things. Excitement, sure, but a whole host of other things, too. I feel strong and confident (most of the time) and I find that I really lean into that; head high, chest out. This is still pretty new for me, I only started going out in public last October but I’ve gone out at least weekly since then, both solo and with my wife. What really squelches the nerves for me, though, is this expansive sense of… wholeness, for lack of a better word. Nikki’s been bottled up inside my whole life, and being able to fully express her is hugely liberating. I still wear a mask in public, as much as because my wife is immunocompromised as because I am self-conscious about my makeup game. Looking forward to getting over that!
- February 11, 2023 at 7:58 am #717432Patty PhoseDuchessRegistered On: May 7, 2016Topics: 0Replies: 2061Has thanked: 1630 timesBeen thanked: 6740 times
I first began going out dressed when I was 17. It was something I so wanted to do for so long. I had the means to do it, but when I was about to, I froze up and chickened out. Even though over time, I got bolder and more daring as my boldness increased, there was out countless times I was going to go out on my adventure and fear kept me from doing it. I usually made what seemed like countless attempts before I was able to successfully do it.
And that was when I was young and bold. Now when I go out, I’m just as nervous and often avoid doing adventures I would like to do.
- February 11, 2023 at 7:27 am #717417Marg ProdueLadyRegistered On: March 16, 2022Topics: 2Replies: 583Has thanked: 3065 timesBeen thanked: 2327 times
Hi Fiona, Not really. I’m more likely to be frustrated that I’m running short of time and I run a nylon, or get white deodorant residue on an outfit as I put it on, or just can’t get my hair to behave (real or artificial). So knowing that’s my problem area, I try to set everything out before the event but sometimes that’s just not possible. So, I’m back in the I’ve only got an hour to get ready and zoom out the door syndrome. I have developed some helps over the years in that I have a clothes rack with complete ready to toss on outfits with all the parts included and that has saved me some headaches. All in all, I’m always excited to get out whenever I can and look forward to it. Marg
- February 11, 2023 at 7:05 am #717406Lorraine LowryDuchessRegistered On: January 2, 2023Topics: 0Replies: 419Has thanked: 642 timesBeen thanked: 1475 times
On thinking further, even though I don’t go out, I do get nervous when I look in the mirror and start to become Lorraine. I almost shake, it’s like I’m about to pick up a blind date. The anticipation of seeing her anew. Will she be all that I hope for ? Not dressed at the moment and yea, I’m getting that feeling of anticipation. I have to go ………….
- February 11, 2023 at 5:13 am #717379Jenny JonesLadyRegistered On: November 5, 2019Topics: 2Replies: 255Has thanked: 153 timesBeen thanked: 1024 times
I am still nervous whenever I go out and will probably always be. There’s just a few hang ups I have and fears that while have been lessened over the year or so of going out I do still wonder how noticeable it is. The best way to combat such fears and worries is just to keep doing it though. Each time it does get easier.
- February 11, 2023 at 2:30 am #717366Stephanie MuseLadyRegistered On: January 3, 2023Topics: 2Replies: 44Has thanked: 180 timesBeen thanked: 233 times
I am still in baby step mode myself. There is always a degree of trepidation in what it is we do. Lately I am starting to get bolder. It certainly seems to be the strength I am gaining from being in this amazing sisterhood! I am kind of a planner, I am constantly playing “what if” games in my head. I always go out at night and shy away from places with a lot of traffic or certain “unfriendly demographics” I do have plans to stop for gas, I may take a drive around a major city near me which is LGBTQ+ friendly. I may even get out of the car and walk around a bit. I am kind of a nut about being overtaken by events, so I carry a “drab backpack” and makeup wipes with me In case I have to abort. That’s the planner in me I suppose.
Drawing strength from my sisters,
- February 11, 2023 at 1:49 am #717362Shelly Diane LynnLadyRegistered On: March 27, 2018Topics: 1Replies: 37Has thanked: 268 timesBeen thanked: 214 times
- February 11, 2023 at 1:34 am #717360Roberta BroussardDuchess - AnnualRegistered On: July 20, 2020Topics: 7Replies: 687Has thanked: 8795 timesBeen thanked: 3534 times
The first few times created some anxiety but that faded. Once i stopped worrying over if people new about me. Everything just fell in place. Once i just accepted me, it seems everyone else did too.
Ill liken this too the difference between a normal shopper and a shoplifter going into a store. The normal shopper has a sense of comfort and a relaxed demeanor. While the shoplifter carries an atmosphere of nervousness and is always looking over their shoulder.
Regardless of whether you are young or old, tall or short, a raving beauty or not. Everyone has to go out and about to get what they need. Next time you are out. Look around you GG of all walks and looks are out doing and getting what they need. So just go for it.
- This reply was modified 9 months ago by Roberta Broussard.
- February 10, 2023 at 11:42 pm #717355Katie DelvatineLadyRegistered On: January 21, 2023Topics: 3Replies: 87Has thanked: 115 timesBeen thanked: 342 times
I get the collywobbles just going out in a pair of ladies shoes with tights or pantyhose under my jeans, let alone fully dressed! However, the initial nervousness passes and is replaced with a sense of contentment and I can’t help but feel a little exhilaration if I pass someone and wonder if they’ve noticed.
The “collywobbles” is quite a common expression in the north of England, there’s even a few beers named after it (albeit slightly spelled differently).
- February 10, 2023 at 10:51 pm #717339Marlene KayeLadyRegistered On: September 11, 2021Topics: 0Replies: 35Has thanked: 32 timesBeen thanked: 194 times
I run down my hall way in pantyhose and leggings to throw out my garbage in the chute…..one time I wore a micro knit skirt with beige pantyhose..and danced back to my apt…..what a wonderful moment…did my heart ever race….now I do it when ever I feel brave…
- February 10, 2023 at 7:00 pm #717326
- February 10, 2023 at 6:47 pm #717324Caty RyanBaronessRegistered On: August 27, 2017Topics: 145Replies: 1434Has thanked: 12 timesBeen thanked: 6385 times
No, in fact cos I can only “go public” 2-3 times a year, I thoroughly enjoy every bit of it.
1/The preparation, i.e turning a gnarly old “Senior” male into something approaching a “demurely dressed, “mature” elegant? woman.
2/. Achieving what I set out to do as Caty for the day. EG Personal bra fitting/bar shopping
3/. Getting back to my SC apartment room and reviewing and (hopefully) inwardly smiling about my day.
- February 10, 2023 at 6:25 pm #717321AnonymousLadyTopics: 0Replies: 0Has thanked: 0 timesBeen thanked: 0 times
I certainly get nervous when going out while dressed. I’ve only been out en femme a few times and when I do, I tend to stay away from others – I avoid talking to anyone and avoid eye contact. However, I can feel myself growing in confidence with every trip I take. I’m sure there will come a day when I won’t care what people think and will have the confidence to go out in public without hiding myself behind a mask.
- February 10, 2023 at 5:43 pm #717317Lorraine LowryDuchessRegistered On: January 2, 2023Topics: 0Replies: 419Has thanked: 642 timesBeen thanked: 1475 times
- February 10, 2023 at 5:06 pm #717313Jennifer ConnollyDuchessRegistered On: November 27, 2022Topics: 22Replies: 262Has thanked: 739 timesBeen thanked: 1890 times
I can’t speak to nervousness about going out, although, I can’t imagine the nerves that I’d have if I did go out. But I only answered so I could experience the “ collywobbles”, that sounds so exciting. I love that expression, thanks Fiona for using it.
- February 10, 2023 at 5:05 pm #717312Kerri SmithLadyRegistered On: November 21, 2022Topics: 34Replies: 275Has thanked: 120 timesBeen thanked: 1534 times
I got dressed up today and went out to put gas in my car. Not much of an event, but I was out in public. I was not nervous as I stepped out of my car in a skirt and heels. I’m getting more confidant all the time dressed as a woman, because, really, who cares?
- February 10, 2023 at 4:36 pm #717306Lauren MugnaiaDuchessRegistered On: November 1, 2021Topics: 43Replies: 853Has thanked: 18184 timesBeen thanked: 5169 times
I used to, but now that I do it every day it’s just part of my daily routine as a trans woman.
I will say that going out dressed up on a daily basis is a definite confidence builder! If any of you girls want a bit more confidence, just get out there and experience a bit more exposure. After a while it’s so much fun it’s addictive! :)
Ms. Lauren M
- February 10, 2023 at 3:33 pm #717291Helene van der TeeLadyRegistered On: August 18, 2018Topics: 6Replies: 98Has thanked: 146 timesBeen thanked: 549 times
I went to our city museum today en femme, walked around looked at everything, I then came home, had a cup of tea and decided to go to a local bar for a drink. I walked in and they had, had a group of men from some club, eating and drinking. Not once did I feel uncomfortable of nervous….what I can tell you is I would feel really uncomfortable in ‘drab’ walking into the bar…I dont know why, it’s like I have a shield on when dressed as Helene. It does make me think I need to look at why I feel more confident as. female when I actually still feel like a man dressed as a woman. I dont wish anything other than that. I have no urge to be a cis gender female. Its pretty complicated being me.
So no, I dont get nervous.
- February 10, 2023 at 3:32 pm #717288Liara WolfeDuchessRegistered On: August 14, 2021Topics: 4Replies: 1985Has thanked: 3909 timesBeen thanked: 6658 times
I went out for the first time last month. I thought I would be a nervous wreck, but instead I was excited. I’m not saying it wasn’t little scary because it was. I was just more excited than nervous.
- February 10, 2023 at 2:13 pm #717282Fiona BlackBaroness - AnnualRegistered On: November 23, 2019Topics: 1Replies: 858Has thanked: 694 timesBeen thanked: 3776 times
The first half dozen or so times I went out I was somewhat nervous but not as much as I expected. I became extremely comfortable with going out very quickly and never get nervous anymore. I look forward to being out in public en femme.
- February 10, 2023 at 2:05 pm #717280Peggy Sue WilliamsDuchess - AnnualRegistered On: June 26, 2019Topics: 27Replies: 557Has thanked: 2133 timesBeen thanked: 2924 times
Normally, no, I do not get nervous at all going out as my female self in public.
There are a few rare exceptions. I am a retired engineer (electronics), and our field is still mainly male dominated. I attend a few technical gatherings every year and one or two conventions, and I even speak publicly at one. All of which I do as my female self. Many know I am a CD and many do not. Thus, I always find myself as one of the very few women, if not the only woman at these events. I make it a point to dress professionally and conservatively. Nevertheless, I often do feel a bit tense, knowing many male eyes are on me. Moreover, the males are wondering why is this female at an engineering gathering. Then you see them attempting to move in closer for a look at my name tag. Too funny!
At the one event where I speak, I usually open with a joke, making myself the subject of the joke. That tends to put everyone, including myself, at ease.
- February 10, 2023 at 5:41 pm #717316
- February 10, 2023 at 1:12 pm #717271Cassie JaysonDuchessRegistered On: September 29, 2019Topics: 85Replies: 1380Has thanked: 3203 timesBeen thanked: 6481 times
Not as nervous as as I used to be. The first big time was when I got my hair colored for the first time. As I sat in the car waiting to go in I nearly got sick (so nervous). But i was so happy I stuck it out.
Today I even have a part time job at Torrid, but I still get a little nervous going into work.
- February 10, 2023 at 1:08 pm #717270Paula HereLadyRegistered On: April 13, 2020Topics: 37Replies: 269Has thanked: 1103 timesBeen thanked: 1870 times
- February 10, 2023 at 12:29 pm #717266AnonymousTopics: 0Replies: 0Has thanked: 0 timesBeen thanked: 0 times
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