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Hi ladies!
Last night I was thinking about how for many of us, crossdressing is something that is confined to our homes and we never go out in public. For many of our sisters, expressing their femininity privately is just fine and works perfectly for them. However, for others of us (like me), there is a greater need, a drive almost, to go out in public and be seen and treated and accepted as a woman in the real world. Why that is, I don’t know, but it is definitely there.
So of course, that got me to wondering…
Do you have a need or a want to go out in public as a woman?
Hugs,
Holly
Hi Holly, you know, I would like to, but circumstances and my own innate fears have kept me from doing that except for once. Late in the evening some years ago (before minicams and in the infancy of the internet) I drove some miles to a post office where I had rented a box so that I could buy a few items here and there. I was mostly fully dressed, including make-up etc. I parked, screwed up my courage, walked in, got my package and as I was walking back out, a worker from behind the wall of boxes, walked out and watched me leave. Only time I’ve ever been in a post office and a worker has come out. I’ve never had the courage do go out in public again…although I still think about it.
Hugs, ChloëC
Hi Chloe, did you ever think that maybe he was going to open the door for you? I know when I first started going public as soon as someone, male or female, looked at me I always thought, “damn they know I’m not a real girl”. But after a few times I realized that wasn’t the case at all. I was going to go into a restaurant for lunch and two guys came out, stopped, and looked at me. The one guy said to his friend as he looked “she’s really cute”. After that I never doubted myself. It might take something like this to get you in the right head space too. Good luck on you future outings.
Trish 💖
Hi Trish, I might wish that were the case, but (because you get a key in your box for a bigger bin if there’s a package) as I reached in to get my maybe shoebox sized package, I heard commotion from the back and turned and left. Didn’t run – didn’t want to trip in my heels, but purposely walked. He exited the ‘backroom’ door about 20-25 feet behind me as I was reached the parking lot door. Maybe he wanted to be courteous, but I doubt it. I think he just wanted to see who would come in at 9:30pm as it probably gets boring and lonely – and maybe he heard me come in, peeked through one of the empty boxes and wanted to get a closer look, but ya never know! Hugs ChloëC
Yes. I don’t like to go to all the trouble of getting dressed with no place to go. If I dress around the house I don’t bother with anything above the neck. Not only does it take time for something I can’t see, but it upsets my SO. To go further, I don’t go out by myself, without plans to meet up with someone or accompany someone when out. Going out in public and engaging with people is affirming to me. Pretty dresses and all the refinements- jewelry, heels, makeup, stockings, etc. are made to be seen.
I feel exactly the same way, staying home and just looking at myself in the mirror or taking pictures is NOT enough, I Need to present myself as a ‘woman’ and be treated as such since I pass perfectly and it completes me! It’s the perfect high, getting ready, going out for 3-4 hours and impersonating a real GG. Been doing it for 55* years.
im on your page👍
Yes, Meghan, getting dressed, and just taking pictures is not enough for me too, the need to be out and about presenting myself as a woman is the “Holy Grail” of a CD… I had the chance to be out just once but I am hooked on the need to be out in public, Leonara
During my evolution I had that ‘All dressed up and no where to go’ feeling. That image in the mirror looked quite acceptable so I did the after dark walk. That drove me further in needing to do it the daytime and I did so at a very quiet area. That then leads to a more public areas and all the nerves started to dissolve and the coming out, this girl was getting out with friends and on her own and my word where was it going? Well over that long period I am now very much out and even working. Who’d have thought!
Hi Girls,
I’m laughing as I type this 🙂
I need to go to work everyday, I take public transit and I’m a trans woman, so yes, there is a definite need to go out in public as a woman.
Like Angela, I do everything as a woman, legally I am one now.
Tonight I’m going to a Christmas concert with a girlfriend.Big hugs,
Ms. Lauren M
I used to be satisfied with dressing up and staying in the house. Then I realized I wanted to go out in public. At first it was just driving around in my car. Then I started going into stores, the mall, gas stations. I had a couple bad experiences with people, but most people are too busy with their own lives to notice or care. I think any CD should go out in public and have their own experiences.
Hi Holly,
Good question.I voted yes, but I’m not sure where I fit in, I am mostly satisfied at home but every now and then I get the urge to get out. It’s not such a simple undertaking since I’m not out to the world, so the desire needs to be strong enough to get me moving. That seems to happen about 3-4 times a year!
Kate
I’m afraid I put “other”, as I’m not sure I fit with the other options. After a lot of thought I’ve decided I need to affirm that inside I am a woman. Dressing as I see myself really helps with that but it’s only one way of affirming my belief. Mixing and being accepted or even just blending in as a woman would be wonderfully affirming: but it’s complete unacceptable as yet to my wife: so my only options are to try to affirm my own belief as much as I can: and to dress at home on my own. I would love to get out one day….
Thea
Holly,
I definitely have a need to go out in public. For me, passing in public is validation that all the efforts I put into clothes, wigs, makeup, walking correctly, making the right gestures …etc are worth the time, effort and $$$ I put into it. And I like watching the reactions of both men & women as they check me out or interact with me. It makes life very interesting indeed!
Yes it’s a very important part of who I am .. I have just started to venture out doors but choose quite places …. little steps
I don’t have a need to be seen in public, and given that my entire wardrobe is basically romantic lingerie, I wouldn’t have anything appropriate to wear in public anyway lol. I’m plenty satisfied enough with being closeted and having my boyfriend see me dressed at home rather than a bunch of strangers. That’s just me though.
The moment my alter ego emerged, I knew going out publicly would need to be a part of my overall CD experience. As much as I enjoy getting dressed up and taking pictures to share, the notion of doing it “live” is always seductive. I cannot describe what the draw is exactly. Perhaps it’s validation,the reaction (or non reaction) to persons in real life, or maybe just my desire to make touch with the real world as my alter ego, but it keeps me going forward and doing it as much as possible.
I voted for other. As I am still early on in my evolution. I haven’t felt the urge to go out. Before just a few years ago I hadn’t even thought of putting on women’s clothes though. Now I can’t stop thinking about it!
So who knows what is to come?
Perhaps getting a makeover would be a good start.💕Lara
Hi Holly, I absolutely have to go out in public. I guess I’m fortunate that I very rarely get clocked but it does happen and it’s usually me that contributes to being made. That aside, thankfully, most of the time I am taken as a woman and treated as such. Over the years I have found the biggest most important thing is that you smile……a lot. Women may or may not smile at a man but they always smile at each other when eye contact is made. So it’s very important. Just recently I was in a Walmart in Vancouver and had to use the ladies room and when I got there I saw a women employee standing right at the entrance. I never hesitated, kept my head up and gave her a big smile as I was entering and all I got was a big smile from her in return. You really do have to act like you belong. Thanks for the post Holly.
Hi Holly et al,
I love going out dressed! I wouldn’t go as far as to say being “obsessed” but I do have the need to present and be respected as Amandah. I find to lead with a smile and hi is so natural, it has often lead to discussion with total strangers. Afterall I’m genderfluid, and fortunately times are more accepting of LGBTQI+ communities.
Lastly I see the huge effort you all put in to look femme, just brilliant! Naturally on a first stepping out, we are all a tad nervous, so hold your course, smile and you’ll feel amazing! Remember 99.99% of humankind aren’t walking around looking to see/clock who is trans or crossdressing.
Amandah
As I have oft stated on this wonderful site, much of my Caty time takes place on overnight charity volunteer trips. Usually after a lunch, then I’m in Caty mode until next day and checkout from my hotel. 90% of this time is in the privacy of my room. I could go out, but most times just happy to be “fully me”. With hair, make up and clothes “just so”.
For the 10%, I make it two night trips and that gives me the time and space to go out. Usually shopping, tho I have been out with another CD friend for coffee… and of course shopping. As I wrote on this site a few months back, bra shopping one time in department stores, then a personalized bra fitting at an upscale lingerie store a month of two later, were my 2022 “going out” highlights…
https://www.crossdresserheaven.com/bra-shopping-my-cups-runneth-over/
For ’23… Probably more bra shopping. I have more than enough to wear already. I just enjoy the experience and then donate what I buy to women’s homeless shelters etc.
Happy dressing (and going public)
Caty.
I opted for other.
The agreement I have with my wife is thta my dressing stays in the hose. However, there was one time I went to a support group meeting, at her suggestion, and changed when I got there. It was a nice feeling to be dressed with other girls while I was at the meeting. I also dress on occasion for my therapy sessions as I can change at my therapists office. I have on a couple occasions dressed in my hotel room when traveling alone. I often think what it would be like to be able to dress and go out in public but don’t see that happening, so it will remain a fantasy for me. Maybe one day I will be able to, only time will tell.
XOXO
SuzanneI remember vividly the first time I went out in public as woman. I was both scared and excited all at the same time. I did my research to determine is it a safe environment just I like do even today. Every time from going shopping at the mall to going out to a restaurant or club. I have an outgoing personality, so I like to engage in conversation with other people and when I am “dressed” I can express my feminine side. Self-confidence is paramount.
I began going out dressed when I was 17. I had been wanting to do it for as long as I could remember but had to wait until I had means and way to do it. I first began going out dressed like Daisy Duke, or as close as I could get to her look. The short shorts, the pantyhose, the hair and a pair of platform wedge heels I had down pretty well. It was simple, fun, sexy and very exciting and thrilling. There also was a lot of fear and chickening out that happened often.
When I was 18, and got my own place, I began really putting a great wardrobe together. Stiletto heels, great, shiny pantyhose and stockings, sexy, short dresses, sexy bras and panties and lots of lingerie. I dressed at home everyday and would go out a lot.
It was often just a drive in the car and getting out in a few places to do some brief errands. Sometimes when nerve allowed I would walk around in stores and sometimes shop. I would sometimes dress and go walk around the college campus. But the big things was going to parties with other dressers which was done often. It often was scary but incredibly exciting and thrilling.
After college my dressing and especially going out, tapered off a lot to where I wasn’t doing it at all when my kids were growing up. When the kids grew and went out on their own, I began dressing again. At first it was at home, then I began going out again. I’m often to nervous to go to some places, but I’m loving the feelings and experiences again. I think for a crossdresser, going out is the ultimate experience.
As said here it isnt enough to just dress at home and take pictures but to be out and experiencing the full gambit of being a women which includes interaction with. others. Many times its to show off a new dress or boots or a wig and other times to be in a role to interact. For example being in the fashion of a school teacher or an office secretary. Other times a housewife doing shopping or running errands. Sometimes in a glamour role for an event. It can be looking prissy or prudish in ruffles or bows in blouses or casusal in revealing tops braless.Just the whole scope of people you can be as a woman and the different interreactions each role can be.
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Yes I have a need to go out in public and have done so dressed casual feminine without any trouble. The problem is I don’t get much opportunity because the wife doesn’t want me out in public so I have to go out when away from home. It would be so much more fun to do it with one or more gurlfriends.
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Hi Gwyneth.
Yes I’ve tried. Once, another gurlfriend and I booked a makeover session with someone but she canceled at the last moment with some lame excuse. I don’t remember her name and wouldn’t recommend her anyway. Have you had a session before?
Well Girls Sara and I took our first baby step.
I had to go to the doctors yesterday and had to leave Sara at home and she was not impressed.
So when I got home we got dressed and I took her out to Friday nite wing nite for wings and beer. She wore a nice woman’s top which was loose fitting but could pass as a man’s T with my bra underneath.
I sat with friends and I could see my mounds but not pronounced and nobody stared or ogled but then thought probably looked just like my man boobs except no nipple pressing against fabric.
Little worried at first then got relaxed more and Sara just had her first fun night out.Sara
I have wandered outside a few times, knowing I will not be seen. I am far from being able to pass. But late at night I have enjoyed the soft breeze against my nylon covered legs and even a breeze they may travel up my skirt. Living in a area where I can step out at night and sit on my patio and not be seen is a huge plus. But never around where another person might see me.
Lisa Leigh
I voted that I have that need.
I dont actually do it really, except I usually wear a bra and panties and tights or pantyhose in the winter.
I usually wear women’s jeans and t shirt and a blouse when I have one that suits, so I fly under the radar but its not the same.
I get really upset sometimes that I have to present as male.
Sadly, my life is rather public at times and I need to consider the consequences.
So, against my wishes I comply with social norms.
But I revel in the fact that I live as a woman 24/7 at home.Oh my god sweetie. I more so prefer going out in public as a woman if I’m not heading to a Halloween or cosplay event honey. I love when local nice adult girls or kids call me beautiful and a she. I even got called a Mam on the phone yesterday. My female voice must be getting better sweetie. I even love when kids are confused about my gender, I love getting makeup tips and I love being asked by a man if I was going through a gender change.
I have been out of state and unable to cross dress, so wow, yes, I DO have a need to get out in public very soon as a woman.
The rush, a.k.a. the “Pink Fog,” when a gentleman holds the door open for you and addresses you as “ma’am,” is beyond description. The same applies when another woman compliments you on your outfit or make up.
I am a regular at many stores, and store associates will address me by name. Hearing your female name in public is reaffirming.
I replied other, because absolutely i need to get out as Amanda, it will either make me want to do it way more, or it will satisfy me to do it every now and again, but i need to find out. I have this female inside of this hideous male body just fighting to get out. Love to you all my beauties.
Hi Holly and Ladies
Yes I have this need, being able to go out feminine makes me feel good and at peace with myself and with my dysphoria.
For now I can do it “freely” when I’m alone at home or when my two daughters are there because they understood and accepted me, and now that the garden walls are higher I can be free to be myself there too.XOXOX from Italy 🇮🇹
Greta ❤️I am not sure if “need” is the right word. However, I do have a very strong yearning, or maybe even aspiration, to present myself in public dressed as a woman. And if the yearning/aspiration is not satisfied for long periods of time, then the yearning grows stronger.
I did very little dressing in public during the pandemic, and when I started again it was both a great relief and trigger to get me dressing more frequently again. I am lucky because I have access to a great makeup artist and I live in a city with LGBTQ friendly neighbourhoods – so stepping out is easier for me than for many girls.
I think the reason I like it so much is because it feels liberating to be yourself outside unencumbered by whatever reservations or self doubts you have. You are out and you are dressed – it is too late to change your mind and give into self doubt or fear.
Enjoy the ride girls!
Reading all the awesome stories about being out in public I knew I had to go out. After a shower and shave I dressed in thong, lavender bra with C forms, black tight, top, black thigh highs, ladies shorts and, running shoes. Off to a local park with a track I started walking an what a thrill to be out in public, After a while I keep seeing a guy looking at me, sure hope he not going to try and star trouble, no trouble he just wanted to say I was attractive and he liked my boobs made my day. Can’t wait to go back
LyndaMy NEED to be dressed as Carmen in public is extremely strong, so I’m out there as Carmen literally 4 times a week or more. Carmen really only has one style/mode/persona. So the stores I visit regularly (lowes, home depot, restaurants, grocery stores, gas stations, etc. both workers and regular customers) only knows me as Carmen, the scantily clad but stylish and cute woman always in wedges/heels/makeup/jewelry and showing most of her body. That is the only Carmen that exists out in the world to everyone Carmen has met and talks to regularly at those stores. There is no other form of Carmen (ie… Carmen in casual jeans, Carmen in blending in clothing, Carmen in sneakers, Carmen without makeup, etc.), so I keep Carmen stores completely separate from my alternate mode, which at this point is androgynous male. Anybody in my community who knows Carmen and sees her regularly does not know any other form.
I do have a need or a desire to be dressed and present in public and I honestly think it is that way because that is how I first was dressed completely as a woman. While I had crossdressed before at home never had I presented as much all at one time with clothing, undergarments breastforms , shoes, jewelry, with and my fingernails and toenails painted, and professional makeup and wig in 2017 in Las Vegas at a Halloween get together for two nights. That experience felt so good, exhilarating, and validated that I was not alone as their were probably 30 attendees the first night and around 50 attendees the second night. While I do not have the need to dress daily let alone in public or to present as female where I live I do have the need to dress publicly at CD/Trans events or get togethers 5 to 10 days a year. Covid lockdowns slowed things down for sure as I have been April in public 26 times from 2017 thru 2022 with zero in 2021. Last year I dressed 20 times total with 14 at home and 6 in public I hope to be aboe to dress 25 to 30 times this year and make it out in public 8 times minimum these I guess are my crossdressing goals. It feels different to dress in public then at home they both feel good yet being in public and interacting with people is different for sure. I don’t have plans to go out completely by myself as I am rather big and there is no way to blend so going to get togethers and events is good for me although there are times I am out alone briefly I am meeting with others like me and having a good time and meeting new people and making friends and having conversations with people both from the events and other people in public who approached me and began asking questions and having a conversation which was a positive experience to share who I was and why would I dress as a woman they commented that I looked great and they appreciated my effort and presentation. Those experiences make you want to go out more it feels good and validating to be dressed in public.
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Yes! I thought it would be enough to dress in private, but the more confident I got in dressing the more I wanted the chance to be seen as Michelle. I remember the first time I took a night time drive and then threw caution to the wind and went to get gas. I was at least 30 feet from the closest person and had my head turned the other way, but it was exhilarating.
I do not have a need to go out, but I do enjoy it, so do go out when I have a chance. I also jist enjoy being around the house en femme. While I do my best to pass, I am not terribly concerned about it and just enjoy myself. If I have to show my drivers license, or use a credit card I know I am outed, so I just don’t worry or care about it, and since I show no concern nobody else seems to.
The vast majority of people either don’t notice, or don’t care. I get nice comments often which I think are peoples way of saying “I know you are a man, but that is fine and good luck.”
I don’t feel the need to go out dressed, buy it sure is Hella fun lol. For me it’s a chance to show off my female version. When I go out as a male I’m not confident, or feel attractive, or even taken seriously sometimes. When I go out as Alex though it’s all different. I feel confident, attractive, more personable. Gentleman hold doors for me, I get compliments, I’ve had cashiers ask if I would need any assistance carrying my bags out to my car all things that never happen to me as a male. So while it’s not a need it certainly makes me feel great.
I can see why, you are cute as can be. Your style is great so enjoy your trips out, you look fabulous.
Awe thank you, that’s so kind!
Yes, but with qualifications. I am not at the stage were I would venture out into public alone. Yes, if accompanied by a male friend or one or more “sister” friends.
Hi Mary,
I hope you are able to fulfill your goals. I have read about your situation in from the group we both belong to and wish you the best. The best thing is once you have a place to change you are in a fantastic area to get out. Your city has been my fav place to visit.
Sandy
Sandy:
It has been a trip and a half getting this close to even just partial freedom to dress and be the very real Mary Priscilla within me. Please do let me know when you will be in the Portland area as it would be great to meet you in person.
Hugs!
MP
Hi Mary,
I totally understand your situation. FYI, I would love to meet also. I was down on Feb 4 and planned to go out but at the last minute my wife came so ruled out a Sandy day.
While not on Holly’s Post Subject, I spoke with Victoria (Over the Rainbow Transformation) yesterday and the owners of the home will not be renewing lease. Likely be a sea of apartments/condos soon. That has been my place to change since 2009 but I can find options when there.
I will let you know when I will be down and will probably go to one of the RCTG functions.
Sandy
Holly;
I answered Yes!! I too don’t understand it anymore than I understand this overwhelming desire to dress up in women’s clothes for most of my life. Somehow perhaps it’s to be accepted and treated as a woman by strangers and that reinforces my femininity.
No idea if this is right, but thanks to some of the girls here, several years ago now I go out regularly and it doesn’t matter. It makes me very happy.
Amy
Hi Holly,
I would like to go out as Janet but do not mainly for risk management reasons, wrong neighbourhood, other CDs have had negative comments and not wanting to go out alone. Fear is also a factor. For this reason I am other.
It doesn’t have to be all or nothing. There are ways of going out that are safe and/or can be easily done on the down low. One can start with just a drive at night, then maybe stop for gas (in safe places.) Later maybe just go for a walk in the evening in a safe shopping district. Once a little bolder, try a shopping mall. It can be down, and “The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.”
It gets easier with a little practice and exposure.
A great question… and (probably) a poor answer. I have a NEED to go out in public as ME – Holly Marie. The problem is that (at least for the moment) I’m too terrified to do it (at least during the hours of daylight) and I don’t quite have the strength to overrule that fear!!! I WANT to go out, but the same terror applies – and yes, I just know that the need will overcome the “want” some time; but probably not till I’ve lost the weight I need to slip easily into that new mini-skirt I’ve been eyeing up… and by then I’ll probably have come up with a different excuse – won’t I???? Ho, hum: the complicated life goes on…… Holly XXX
Hi Ladies,
Yes I do go out and want to do more, but it’s only on a rare occasion. It takes an effort to look exactly right and prefer to do that when the family is out of town. Generally, it’s a stroll at local malls, indoor or outdoor. Once I did an alternative club, and have a pic under my profile when I did that. The better occasions are when I’m on a business trip out of town and have some extra time. No worries about running into people I may know. One of my favorite outings was Dana Point Marina and Fashion Island Mall in Newport Beach, CA. Also, Los Olas strip in Ft. Lauderdale is fun to walk around.
XOXO
KarensaDo I have a need? Not sure.
Do I have a desire, YES!
This, I believe is a desire to be accepted in society as I am sure most of us gurls are.
As a hetro crossdresser I am not LGBQ recognised or trans but the desire to be accepted as looking female is overwhelming.
I have ventured out only twice dressed and been mostly successful.
The last time was about a year ago while travelling through country fully dressed (though no make up 😪) with my LGBQ daughter and only had one couple stare at me the whole time when at a road side service precinct.
The desire to be able to be dressed in public totally outwayed the negative implications.
I am unfortunately one of those type that always wonder what people think and cannot totally blank that out.
That said, when we finally left after an hour of public openness, I was so happy that I was able to express the real me (or at least mostly the real me – no makeup) that the 2 hour preceding journey was a highIt takes a lot of work to present as Julie , so yes I need to go out and express my feminine nature. It also a lot of fun being a women.
Hugs to all
JAulie
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