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I’m pangender, on any given day I may be a mix of girl, guy, other, and/or none of the above. It’s what’s most in the mix that wins out for that day. I went a few months over Christmas/New years where if you had offered me a pill to transform into a girl I’d have taken it from willingly to eagerly. CD on these days just works for me, I’m at peace as Stephanie, even if it’s just behind closed doors. But I’m back into the churn and had a few days of nun as I call it (none of the above). On these days Steph just feels totally wrong, not that my actual name/wardrobe/body works either but that’s what the world expects. Most of the time it’s just a mixed bag and I can take it or leave it.
So, after that long-winded setup – do you ever have off days? How do you deal with them?
I have those days sometimes. I’m bigender (male/female), and while I usually feel solidly one or the other, there are days when I’m in a kind of limbo. Neither one nor the other. I find it unsettling, even more than I find my occasional gender dysphoria unsettling. Who knows, maybe they’re the same thing. I don’t really do anything except wait for it to pass, or sometimes I’ll switch up my dress to see if it helps. Sometimes it does, sometimes not. Thankfully this seems to happen less than it used to. Interestingly, my wife can always tell when it happens.
Hi Stephanie
I have those days as well, when I ask myself what I’m doing and why.
But if I slip on a pair of panties, they just feel good and I remeber the feeling I get being Samantha. It just feels right.
I have those days I don’t like to (or can’t) dress, but I at least slip on panties to feel better.
I have been trying to figure these cycles out for years…Hugs
SamanthaStephanie, you have raised an interesting question. My response is both simple and complex.
Lately, I have been describing myself as being full time in my own way. My gender expression is an amalgamation of the both the masculine and the feminine. My daily wardrobe is generally a cross between both femine attire and masculine attire, but is becoming more and more feminine in nature as time passes. That being said, however, I identify as a man regardless of what my clothing may outwardly present. And while, I identify as man, I believe deeply that I should have breasts of my own. My natural bust line is a small to medium B cup, and I wear a bra daily for support and comfort, which I do augment daily with forms to give me a solid B cup or small C cup.
Now that I have provided the background, please allow me to address the question posted. There are several days in which circumstances required that my clothing is purely masculine in nature, and some days in which I must also forgo wearing a bra. It is special family events and vacations that require the purely masculine attire, and vacations (especially those in summer) that require me to forgo a bra. On these days, I do feel incomplete, or not fully myself at least, but as they usually occur for family events, there are usually other factors (both positive and negative) that take my attention. Yet, I am glad to get back to my normal modus operandus at the conclusion of these occassions.
MacKenzie Alexandra
Hi Stephanie, I just have life. Some days I’m glam and some days I’m not but I’m always Marg. About the only time that I’m bummed is when somebody gets in my face and tells me why I’m wrong because of some religious or political belief that they think that I should adhere to. This doesn’t happen too often and only shakes me up about as much as some driver that cuts me off in rush hour. I figure ??? how sad, somebody must have burned the toast that day. If I need any kind of an off day I can just call my ex and I haven’t done that for 40 years so, I guess my answer to this interesting question is no. Safe Journey, Marg
“If I need any kind of an off day I can just call my ex and I haven’t done that for 40 years so…”😅
Disciplined you are!
I’m right there with you hon! It’s cyclical for sure. It can get me down when in drab at times but thinking all this is part of me (it will never change) and will have real Robinette time soon helps keeps it positive. “You’re living in your own private Idaho” as the B-52’s used to sing. We truly are.
Back in the day, I only dressed for the thrill of the moment. Once the Kracken was released, the thrill disappeared for awhile. Like immediately disappeared. The danger zone for purging.
Now that I’m in my 60’s, testosterone is in reduced supply and mind and body reflect this. The desire to dress is almost constant. Even after I release the Kracken, which is not as often as the good ole days, I still want to sleep in a something satin.
Makes me wonder, what would we be like if hormones like testosterone and estrogen did not influence our lives so greatly. Probably be happy to eat, sleep and chase tennis balls.
I don’t have off days more like days off. Due to the fact I have led a male orientated life until circumstances to be myself almost every day and in every way, there are still things that I cannot do unless in male mode. It is my choice and I do not feel any different in myself although my appearance is now opposite to what I am usually seen in.
Of course there are days when I am feeling down, weary or even questioning my legitimacy. These are very human emotions but I have learned that emotions are not facts, but rather the way mood influences our perceptions. Change the mood and the perceptions of reality also change.
My basic need is to wear a skirt or a dress. It is not to present as a woman.
That being said, it’s obvious that if I want to go out in female clothing, I have to dress and act like a woman. After going to a transformation place and having many experiences as a woman, I can say I am gender fluid – I feel comfortable whether presenting as a man or a woman.
But on “off” days, I’m happy to just wear a nightie to bed, or a skirt and/or top at home, without having to do any other changes.
Thanks Stephanie, for your very interesting question. I can completely relate to your description. I have those very same days. But, I just kind of go with the flow, and don’t worry about why I think the way I do, but just let whatever happens, happen. I don’t feel the need to dress all the time, but whenever I do get the urge, it is, luckily for me, something that I can act on, and don’t need to wait. Usually when I am out in public dressed as a man, I enjoy being a man, and when I see a pretty girl, I’m attracted to her, but then I am conflicted, because I also admire her look and see things that I want to try. But that’s the extent of my conflict, within.
Stephanie, I wish there was a “temporary female pill” we could take to fully experience being a woman. Thee are days when my desire to dress up is greater than others. I do get frustrated when I do not haev enough time after work to go through the process of dressing up. So when opportunity arises, I try to take advantage of getting dressed up and enjoy the experience.
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