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Hi ladies!
As crossdressers, we want to emulate everything about women that we can, so that we look like, feel like, and act like real women. However, there are some things that really can’t be copied, you either have them or you don’t. One of those is maternal instincts.
Let’s face it, even though we may want to be women, we’re still biological males, and as such, in many ways we’re wired that way. Sure, we may be more sensitive, emotional, caring, etc. than the average male, but does that mean we have more of a maternal instinct, or do we really just have paternal instincts that aren’t as strong a the average male? To me, the maternal instinct is the inate drive to love, nurture and protect a child that (almost) all women seem to be born with. I’m sure that part of that develops during the nine months that a woman carries a child to term, so that is one thing that we will never, ever be able to identify with
And yes, as men we have something similar, a paternal instinct, but regardless of how much we identify with our feminine selves that instinct may be more “male focused”, and be something along the lines of teaching a child a skill, teaching a child to be self sufficient, etc. Sure, we wil protect that child with our lives, but perhaps not in the same way as a woman would.
For me, I’ve always been more attuned to and aware of things that other men would not even realize, but things that women always pick up on. Things like how another person is feeling, what to say when someone needs comforting, when to listen and not speak, when to hold someone or give them a hug, and more. I’ve also always been more of a “housewife” as well, and really enjoy that role. So for me, it seems that when I’m Holly, more of what I consider my maternal instincts do come to the fore, which seems to support my theory that at least for me, many of us who crossdress (and may later transition) do tend to have more of those maternal types of instincts than the average male.
So of course, that got me to wondering…
Do you have a strong maternal instinct?
Hugs,
Holly
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Yes I have a strong maternal instinct. I had two daughter and even though I was married I changed the majority of their diapers and changed them all the first 2 weeks of their life. I cooked most of the meals and most of the house keeping. Their mom was a good mother but really didn’t love on them the way I did. I was the first parent they came to when they needed something. They are grown and would rather spend time with me than their mom.
Definitely, when my kids were growing up I was the “housewife”, my feminine side has always been the dominant one. Even before I transitioned that is what people saw in me and why it was so easy to connect with other women. Now that I am living as a woman full time that instinct has certainly intensified.
Hugs,
Lauren M
I really don’t know for sure. It was my job to change all diapers when I was home with all 3 of my kids. I think the wife thought it was only ‘fair’, but I kind of really liked being there for my kids. Now last year I was invited to go with shopping with my granddaughter for her homecoming dress. I feel on the verge of being accepted 100% instead of 20%.
.Cassie
For startetrs, I don’t want to emulate, look like, feel like or act like a woman. Yes, I have a strong feminine side, and I love wearing women’s clothing.
I don’t have a maternal instinct. But in my teen years in the 70’s, the role of the father taking a more active role was forming, and I picked up on that.
Other than that, I learned from my parents. Take an interest in the kids, support them, and sacrifice for them. While this made me a better parent, and maybe something my ex never learned, these are not instincts. They are behaviours I learned from example.
Yup Holly, I played the role of Mr. Mom for 40 years for kids and grand kids and even did the adult care too. It was just how it worked out in our family. I learned by working with 200 beds a day as a CNA in a mental hospital when I was 20. After that experience and a stint as an Army Medic, kids were no problem, they were just little and had more energy. It was the teens and young adults that gave me wrinkles even though they said not to worry. lol ! The only big complaints that I still get is that I made them learn how to drive a sick shift (all their friends learned on automatics) and if they had an accident they had to stand next to the damage for a wall of shame cameo picture. Also, they said that I served too many versions of corndogs. Marg
Hi Holly, I was going to vote ‘I think I do’ and then I read your post fully and I easily voted ‘Yes’. Ever since I began accepting that I would be married, I always wanted children, although I would usually yield to my spouse’s current desires. I did wind up with three whom I love dearly, and of course, went through, with vigor, all the motions that dads are supposed to have. A good example is base/softball. I’d ask my son if he wanted to play catch and he never said no, but I asked, and he played rec ball but switched to other sports where I couldn’t help. My daughters on the other hand stuck through softball onto varsity and while with one I’d ask and she would always say yes, the other was constantly asking me and I always said yes. So there’s the ‘fatherly’ instinct.
However, my ex abandoned me and our 1 year old son and I had absolutely no desire to ever give him up, playing with him, feeding him (and coming up with some variety!!!) teaching him to walk alone (he hadn’t yet), taking him to doctor visits, almost going into tears when he’d hurt himself ( he once had a temp of 102 or 3 and I took him to the emergency room and they had me give him an ice bath – talk about the tears!!!), and of course changing diapers, doing the washing and cleaning, all those things. I didn’t love doing them, but I didn’t hate doing them, they were things that had to be done and it was my responsibility. When my daughters came along, I was right there again doing what I could to help my spouse. And with our youngest grandson, well, his mother had gone back to college, his father and my spouse both worked, and I was just retired, so for about the 6 or so months, during the day, I fed him, changed diapers, played with him, put him down for naps, like 4 or so days per week…and I loved it.
I’m still expected to perform ‘manly’ tasks, although I have never cared for them, you know like plumbing, electrical. I’ll do them when needed, but things like reading stories to my grandkids, playing with my younger granddaughter who is a live wire, well I look forward to those times.
We just finished renting a rug cleaning unit to clean an area rug in one of our rooms. We both were involved, and I just finished (by myself) putting the room back together, vacuuming the furniture, arranging the pillows on the sofa, getting the room nice and neat which I didn’t mind at all…and now I’ll have to (ugh) go out and do some grass trimming. That! is not my idea of a nice time.
Hugs, ChloëC
Holly, This one is difficult to answer. However, I think it may relate to another area. I have noticed in myself and in other Tgirl friends, that seem to agree. Many of the qualities of our personalities most often appreciated by others are those decidedly feminine qualities. We as Tgirls have them and they are shown, at least by me when in drab as well as femme. Is this similar to your question? Being sensitive to others is an example, many times my sensitivity to others is beyond what most men show, this is a quality that nearly all women possess, and apparently so does this “girl” whether she is Genivieve or not!😉
Hi Genivieve. In answer to your question, yes, that is sort of what I mean. For each of us, how we define those “maternal” qualities may be somewhat different, but in general I was referring to the qualities that are typically associated with GGs, that those of us Tgirls may also possess and exhibit.
Hugs,
Holly
Holly, interesting question. I voted yes. I like to be the “housewife”. I do all of the cleaning, housework inside and out, washing the clothes, etc.. My feminine instincts have always made me want to take care of others. I have helped raised two of my grandkids, as my daughter is a flight attendant. The only area of weakness is cooking. I can’t come close to competing with my wife on that topic.
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