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Hi ladies!
As crossdressers, we’re used to the dichotomy that comes with being two people in one body. We have different wardrobes, different activities, different friends, etc. However, a lot of what underlies both our male and female personalities is exactly the same, so in some of us, a lot of that is expressed regardless of whether we’re our male or female selves.
My question is, Do you intentionally keep your two personalities separate, do you integrate them fully, or are there some areas you do and some you don’t?
For me, a lot of who I am as Holly has bled over into my male life, but that is mainly in areas that are defined as typically being more “like a woman.” By that I mean showing my emotions, building and developing friendships, being more sensitive and listening, etc. However, I also have certain areas of my male self that are 180 degrees opposite of who I am as Holly and I keep them that way on purpose.
How about you?
Marg and my legacy (name) self are still somewhat co-joined. It doesn’t bother me but is just something that is a part of the whole me as an intersex person. I think of it as like working for a company for 30 years and then leaving and going into another different job for another 30 years. Two different skill sets in the same individual that are compartmentalized yet sometimes used together to a great advantage. My personalities aren’t really separate. It’s just that I have two different tool boxes (Male + Female) and I select the tool that seems best for the job at hand although one toolbox gets much more use than the other. I hope this makes some sense. Marg
Holly,
I keep my male and female personalities separate. I live alone now so my male wardrobe is in one room and my female wardrobe is in another. My Kerri persona tries to be as feminine as she can while my male persona is masculine. I’m beginning to like being Kerri more and more.
Gwyneth, I would say from personal experience that there is a lot of truth to that generalization. However, as with all generalizations, there has to be the realization that not 100% is going to be true. Personally, I’m also very happy as a man, although I love being Holly and would prefer to spend more time as a woman if that were possible.
I have one personality. Me. Regardless of how I may be presenting (as a man or a woman).
Sure, some of my external behavior changes (voice, mannerisms) but that’s it.For me, Lauren has taken over. She was always there, reminding me of her presence, but now she has completely vanquished all remains of any male personality. I have pierced my ears and now wear beautiful earrings, my nails are my own and are, now, almost half inch past my fingertips, and I have completely and successfully transitioned at my workplace where I am viewed and treated as a woman. These are all permanent changes that I had longed for and have now achieved. I was never truly happy being a male and now that I am living as Lauren full time I aim on that being my way of life forever!
Love and hugs girls,
Lauren M
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I voted “somewhat integrated”. My male and fem sides are coming together. Its nice to be able to be a male when needed and a female mindset when needed too. My mindset easily switches back and forth as the situation needs but is probably more female than male now.
Yes, I do, but I have to admit, there are some difficulties, more mental and emotional than, let’s say, physical, but I’ve had to deal with some of them too. For example, business trips, a great time during ‘down time’ to dress up in the (almost) complete privacy of a single hotel room, but one has to be very careful and keep track of time and responsibilities to not let aspects or parts of one life overlap into the other – which happened to me once.
Hugs, ChloeC
There may be several sides to my personality ( hey, I’m a Gemini, lol ), but I have to say that my natural female and my learned male “personalities” are together as one. Melded. Merged. It feels natural and it’s just easier this way.
Stevie
Like Gabriela and Angela, I’m just me. I don’t have two personalities. I will change mannerisms to appear more feminine, but internally I’m still the same person.
I once asked a friend why she would call me Alison even while not dressed, and she said your wife/mom/gf is still the same person whether or not she is wearing makeup. It’s the same with me.
Yes, I have to. I’m either a handsome husband/sports jock/former very successful baseball and football coach or I’m pretty/sexy/cute/classy Scarlett and that’s the way I’ll always have to live my life!
I love it that way too! XOXOXO Scarlett
I am two people in one body. John has never had any confidence in himself and suffers from severe body dysphoria. John felt he was so disgustingly ugly and socially awkward that the most unattractive girl on earth would find him repulsive. John was told by a girl when he was in 7th grade that he had better get used to being alone because no girl would ever touch him.
John believed he would never accomplish anything in life.
John was 32 before he had a date with a woman and it came about because he gave her a ride home and she became a friend. 30 years later she is still my closest and dearest friend. I told her everything while crying all over her for hours. She just held me and kept telling me to let it all out and she would be there.
She had given John a hug and just getting a hug from a woman was so emotionally overwhelming and confusing that he had an emotional breakdown. Getting a hug from any woman would have been confusing but getting a hug from a woman pretty enough to be a model was more than my mind could process. It turned out she was pretty enough to be a model because she had been a Ford agency model.
She helped me to come to terms with having a feminine personality. She spent many hours talking with me trying to make me see I had value as a human being. I had found an angel of a human being in NYC. Hanging out with her was my first great NYC adventure in life.
I came to love her like a sister and she felt the same. She stood by not only John but became Barbie’s best friend as well.
I was 35 when I went out and purchased the typical make up all CD’s seem to start with. Wet and Wild brand and some Max Factor pan stick. I had a cheap blonde wig and one dress. I sat on my bed with a mirror and tried to make my self up. It was not a good first attempt. I have one photo from back then that survived.
Barbie walked out the door totally unready to be out only about 2 months after first attempting to do make up. Barbie had a tiny bit of belief in herself John never had. A belief that would rapidly grow the more she went out.
As a binge and purge lingerie only CD John would go out and purchase CD magazines and newspapers feeling ashamed to purchase them. He would look at the girls on the covers and read about their lives and wish he was the girl on the cover.
Barbie marched out into the world on a mission to become the girl on the cover. Two years later Barbie was living and working in NYC as a professional dominatrix and was the girl on the covers of the same magazines John would once buy.
I met my angel again in NYC but this time as Barbie and she didn’t even recognize me at first. She was used to seeing John walking hunched over trying to be invisible. Barbie stood tall and proud with her shoulders back and chest out. She was amazed at how confident and alive I had become.
If John had tried to go out to a trendy NYC club he would have been shoved to the back of the line and never let in. Barbie could go to any club in NYC and be waved in past the line.
John will be 62 soon and has still never asked a woman out. Barbie didn’t have to ask women out. Women pursued her as did many men and other T girls.
I could list differences in the two all day long. The only thing Barbie and John share is both are kind people who feel deeply. John has no real interest in men but Barbie was into men and men were interested in her.
Barbie
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Feel like they are becoming more integrated all the time. I am generally quite a quiet person but the more confident I am getting as Nadia, the more confident I am in male mode.
Yes, but no. My personalities aren’t really that different, but more of a difference in circumstances. My male self deals with the public a lot more so it feels like he is a lot more withdrawn and antisocial while my female self doesn’t and only comes out when dealing with friends or people in a similar situation or hobby (such as this) so I am usually a lot more open about it.
So anyone who knows the two would probably argue that, but it isn’t really like the two personalities are different, but more the circumstances around them are different so they come across differently. When Jenny is out in public she is also very quiet and reserved and when my male self is with friends he can also be very outgoing and joking
I don’t feel I change, I’m same person drab or dressed. Now I can’t say I ever been doing what’s typically considered male stuff to any high degree. All this “a man will…” (thinking about al bundy here) never been much of me.
Yes I’m in to techy stuff and I’m not keeping track of latest fashion but that doesn’t change when I change clothes.
/kt
In my case I don’t intentionally keep my male and female personas separate, It is just that they exist that way. Most of the Tim eI am in my male mode with a very male view of the world. Let me put on som make-up a wig and some femme clothes and a switch occurs where I view the world differently, my demeanor is different, my sexual desires transform, and I become far more flirtatious than I ever could be in male mode. These two persona never seem to intermingle except for the desire to transform occurs when in male mode.
Separate. When I am male, I am male (and nobody suspects otherwise).
When I indulge my female side, I try to be all female (although I suspect that close to 90% stubbornly remains male).
None of the generally acknowledged “female” attributes ever intrude into my male persona, although even when traditionally “male” and out and about, I tend to notice passing women’s physical characteristics, clothing, hair and makeup with what could be called a “female gaze” and my girlfriend speaks easily and in minute detail with me on topics usually reserved for all-female circles.
Curiously, my late wife discovered my fascination with panties early on (even before we got married) and for many years encouraged and groomed me, going quite a long way towards completely “feminizing” me on days off. However, I never completely managed to totally get into “woman mode” until after her death when on days off I started dressing up completely while in the house and would stay dressed up all day.
Now that I am in a new relationship, it is equally curious that although my girlfriend knows nothing of my dressing up, she is comfortable engaging with me on matters of women’s fashion and makeup, etc. and has no qualms about letting me help her with her personal grooming (manicure, pedicure) or giving me her intimate garments to launder. I quite like it that she treats me like a trusted lady attendant but am still trying to let her in on my secret.Love,
KatherineFor me, I present similarly when cross dressed. I have had a few therapy sessions dressed and a few makeovers. Allowing more of Melinda to emerge seems to take the edge off my male persona. I like who I am more the more time I spend cross dressing. I have used my male voice while dressed, but lately I have decided to develop a feminized voice with the intentions of socializing more in our community. Of course, using my accustomed voice would be fine, but for whatever reason, my will is pulling me towards separating the personas when I am out in terms of our voices. I think more clearly when I am dressed as Melinda and I calm down with some retail therapy. I sleep better when dressed. I am definitely cheaper in male mode and I am more sexually energized as Melinda.
For me, I present similarly when cross dressed. I have had a few therapy sessions dressed and a few makeovers. Allowing more of Melinda to emerge seems to take the edge off my male persona. I like who I am more the more time I spend cross dressing. I have used my male voice while dressed, but lately I have decided to develop a feminized voice with the intentions of socializing more in our community. Of course, using my accustomed voice would be fine, but for whatever reason, my will is pulling me towards separating the personas when I am out in terms of our voices. I think more clearly when I am dressed as Melinda and I calm down with some retail therapy. I sleep better when dressed. I am definitely cheaper in male mode and I am more sexually energized as Melinda. The line between was pretty clear, but it is getting fuzzier.
After thinking about it for a couple minutes I ended up voting “somewhat integrated”. Although I don’t think there is much difference in personality between my masculine and feminine sides. My likes and dislikes remain the same, save some major differences in music tastes (male: heavy metal, female: pop)
The significant difference is how I feel while wearing women’s versus men’s clothing. In men’s clothes I rarely feel 100% comfortable due to unhealthy body image issues… However, dressed in women’s clothes I feel much more confident and frankly sexy at times.
At this point in my life I would have to say that my two personalities have merged and especially since I came to the realization that I was bisexual and honestly I don’t mind it in fact I really enjoy it I will even on occasions get my nails done while I’m still in my male clothes and I think nothing of it even my musical taste has changed and that was something that normally wouldn’t happen if I wasn’t dressed up but now I find myself listening to things like Jessie J Meghan Trainor and I don’t mind that I listen to them all day even when I’m not dressed up and I enjoy it so I think really what it is I’m becoming the person I’m supposed to be which is basically a combination of the two
My two lives are totally separate. Outside of my flat I’m not Amy at all, I tried underdressing at work a couple of times but it just made me uncomfortable. I have no problem doing that at home, especially during the day when it’s difficult to be fully dressed. I don’t feel the urge to be dressed when I’m busy or socialising in the world, but that changes entirely when I’m indoors. It’s a rare day to be here and only be in drab (usually when I’m expecting visitors).
I guess home is where the tart is. x
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