- This topic has 36 replies, 23 voices, and was last updated 2 months ago by Anonymous.
- April 9, 2021 at 10:41 am #475532Grace ScarlettParticipantRegistered On: February 16, 2021Topics: 85Replies: 1821Has thanked: 6494 timesBeen thanked: 10196 times
Good Evening ..I hope you are smiling tonight xx
We all have worries right!!! I have a few, not many, and certainly not anything that keeps me awake…but I think I’m a lucky girl.
Money, health, relationships, work…etc…all things that give the average person sleepless nights….
When you dress, do you escape your worries for a brief spell, maybe you dress to escape in the first place…
When you are dressed, maybe you take on a whole new set of worries, so you are just moving from one level of stress to another…will I pass?, will I be seen?…..does my bum look big in this? 🤣🤣🤣…..
I’m just a normal person, but I never worry much, I do count myself lucky…
but grace really never has a care, she flows through life at the moment…what colour nails?, what colour panties?…which hair to wear?…oh if only life was always so simple….
So girls, do you escape all your worries when en femme????
Total of 25 users thanked author for this post. Here are last 20 listed.
- April 10, 2021 at 9:48 pm #476191AnonymousRegistered On:Topics: 2Replies: 34Has thanked: 41 timesBeen thanked: 158 times
- April 10, 2021 at 9:22 pm #476184Caty RyanBaronessRegistered On: August 27, 2017Topics: 88Replies: 855Has thanked: 6 timesBeen thanked: 2973 times
100% yes.. When in full made up and dressed Caty mode, I am a million miles away from whatever is on my male mind.
And on a serious note, due to ongoing, but relatively minor memtal health problems, I am finding that underdressing in cami and panties, plus in the winter heavy duty tights is quite calming. On really cold days I add an a cup bra and unless it is really hot at night, bra and forms for bedtime.
If I wake up in the middle of the night, off comes the bra and id myself adhesive forms are up to it, I sleep braless for the rest of the night..
- April 10, 2021 at 8:42 am #475895KristaDuchessRegistered On: January 24, 2017Topics: 9Replies: 613Has thanked: 1798 timesBeen thanked: 2825 times
Like Bettylou, I’m retired and debt-free. I shouldn’t have anything to worry about, should I? And for the most part, I don’t worry too much, especially when I’m Krista (which is the majority of the day).
But as a child from the 1950s, and as a person who grew up with privilege (not wealth but rather with the opportunity to do whatever I wanted), the world has become such a different place. I’ve have tried very hard to keep up with all the changes and have learned to have much more empathy for others. But with that, there’s this little part of me that looks for things to worry about. My wife tells me on a daily basis to “stop worrying about things over which I have no control” and she is totally right. It is hard though to change such a deep down trait.
Accepting things has been a great way for me to lift any burdens off of my shoulders. For example, I’ve come to accept that I’m no longer afraid of death, but rather the notion of my death makes me angry (and/or sad; not sure which) that I won’t be around to see my grandchildren or great grandchildren grow up. Okay, get off of this tangent, too early in the morning to get into this heavy crap.
Stay safe, Stay healthy as always, Big Hugs, Krista.
- April 10, 2021 at 9:02 am #475908Amanda BurtonBaroness - AnnualRegistered On: January 15, 2020Topics: 34Replies: 1554Has thanked: 9178 timesBeen thanked: 6163 times
Krista sweetie, that was a fabulous read yet again.
I don’t think or worry about death, it sadly comes to us all, I only hope I live to a nice age (healthy hopefully). As for leaving love ones, if I have given them the love, support help and guidance to my full abilities, then I will have served my purpose and I would have passed knowing I had fill their hearts and mine with love, and hopefully set on the road of life blessed.
- April 10, 2021 at 7:16 am #475860patty williamsLadyRegistered On: January 19, 2019Topics: 74Replies: 1400Has thanked: 2289 timesBeen thanked: 5059 times
I dont tress for relaxation or to shed my worries Its just because I love being a girl so much.
However I do seem to drop all those worries and pick up a more important set of priorities.
Do my nails look good .
Is my make up right.
Do I look like a man in a dress.
How wonderful those heels feel.
I love those priorities so much more.
Thank God for Femininity
- April 10, 2021 at 5:09 am #475814stephanie plumbBaroness - AnnualRegistered On: November 17, 2018Topics: 157Replies: 2112Has thanked: 3377 timesBeen thanked: 9967 times
My mum…. she was a wise old bird (no, she wasn’t an owl!)
She always said “Don’t worry worry ’till worry worries you.” Worrying is a self-defeating exercise in futility because it changes nothing … so there is no point in letting it play on your mind.
I am not, and never have been much of a worrier. Now and again a “worry” will raise it’s unwelcome head, surfacing from my subconscious? Do we worry without knowing we are worrying? Is that what undefined stress is? You know …. when you are feeling stressed but don’t know why? Negative thoughts sometimes pop up when I wake in the middle of the night for a pee, but I am able to blank them out – my brain “white noise” technique!
When I do worry it’s not usually about myself …. it’s about family (this includes 2poos) and friends…. with special mention of my good friends here on CDH. I do have a few health issues (that are being managed ), but strangely have never worried about them.
When en-femme I don’t “worry” about being outed. I am aware that it is a possibility and am prepared for it, but it doesn’t “dog” my footsteps. On the contrary, when en-femme I am relaxed and living in the moment. Outstanding jobs, things I want to do, all fall away as my energies go towards enjoying the feel of my clothes , the fresh air and the trees, and the temporary freedom I have from everyday life. I would love to have more “me” time…. but I don’t let it play on my mind or get me down. It is what it is and I have no control over it… so no point in worrying about it!
I do have small
“worries”… or rather.. decisions that require some consideration, I ask myself… like what shall I cook for tea tonight? Does my bum look small in this? The cerise panties or the polka-dot black and purple ones? ( Not always easy to resolve.)
unworried, Steph xx 💖
- April 10, 2021 at 3:18 am #475779Regi KellyPrincessRegistered On: October 9, 2020Topics: 36Replies: 1053Has thanked: 11175 timesBeen thanked: 4619 times
Yet another reason I Idolize, you, Miss Grace.
I do let my worries flow from me, once dressed, unless the darn phone brings them back(I am on 24/7 call for breakdowns) but even then, I handle them and move on.
I learned very early in my life, that worry does nothing but make things worse,
I have lived my life, by the quote, and I know I dont have it quite right, but,
“Grant the serenity to accept that which I cannot change”, etc. etc.
We have so many pitfalls and problems throughout our lives, you really do need to learn to deal with what you must, and don’t sweat the small stuff.
Another tip, I was told so many years ago, is when you have a problem, look around, there is ALWAYS, someone who is worse, or has a bigger issue than you. It dos help.
Serenity embodied, Regi👩💕
- April 10, 2021 at 4:27 am #475807Grace ScarlettBaroness - AnnualRegistered On: February 16, 2021Topics: 85Replies: 1821Has thanked: 6494 timesBeen thanked: 10196 times
Thank you Regi….!!!
your post reminds me of a quote from a famous British comedy called ” Fawlty towers”….
“O’Reilly: There’s always someone worse off than yourself.
Basil: Is there? Well I’d like to meet him, I could do with a laugh.”
Smiles, grace ❤️❤️
- April 10, 2021 at 3:09 am #475777Paula FDuchessRegistered On: August 7, 2019Topics: 15Replies: 1204Has thanked: 17592 timesBeen thanked: 4751 times
Grace, I don’t believe that we can really escape the worries that we have day to day. Maybe slide them on back burner to slowly simmer, but they are still there for us later.
Dressing used to have a set of concerns all of it’s own. Did I shave close enough? Do I have a spare stocking if I get a runner? Will I be seen by someone I shouldn’t?
Maybe they aren’t as important as the mortgage payment or the electric bill, but concerning none the less. They come with life and living that life. It’s up to us to let them force us to always worry about them, or to just accept and know that they are there regardless. Take care of them as they come then get on with living.
- April 9, 2021 at 7:00 pm #475683Alison AndersonDuchessRegistered On: October 15, 2018Topics: 8Replies: 484Has thanked: 302 timesBeen thanked: 1979 times
I can’t say that dressing makes me feel like Alfred E Neuman (famous character from Mad magazine, known for the slogan, What, me worry?). They’re still there, and if I see friends who ask how I’m doing, I might bring up some of my worries.
Also, this past year I’ve been dressed so often it has become normal. There is almost no difference between my worries in male or female mode.
This is not to say that I’m a big worrier, but anything I have exists whether dressed or not.
- April 9, 2021 at 4:46 pm #475654Emily VioletLadyRegistered On: August 7, 2020Topics: 6Replies: 112Has thanked: 567 timesBeen thanked: 519 times
- April 9, 2021 at 3:58 pm #475645Bianca EverdeneLadyRegistered On: April 11, 2017Topics: 25Replies: 789Has thanked: 3182 timesBeen thanked: 3215 times
So true Grace
Adult single parent worries replaced by:
Have I got this gait right walking in my heels?
Does this top go with this skirt?
Is my make up right?
Can I afford 7 new pairs of tights in all those colours?
Will the kids turn up unexpectedly? Do I have contingencies?
Why cant I just be who I want to be, all the time?😭😭😭
- April 9, 2021 at 3:23 pm #475637Baroness - AnnualRegistered On: January 15, 2020Topics: 34Replies: 1554Has thanked: 9178 timesBeen thanked: 6163 times
Well everyone has different worries Grace, mine are now just about the family and friends now. I have spoken before about how I seem to handle problems better when I am Amanda. But I have learned over the years that trying to eradicate Amanda, was actually mentally destroying me as a person. You see Amanda is me, and I am Amanda, we are one, without this combination of the two leads to depression and despair. I dress because I mentally need to release Amanda, I mentally enjoy feminine things, I feel comfortable relaxed, and invigorated knowing this is the real me a combination of my two sides of masculinity and femininity mix, I just cannot be one or the other, my mind operates in both modes simultaneously, this is the chemical make up within me. For me dressing is a Mental expression of who I am, not a label of what people think I am.
- April 9, 2021 at 2:21 pm #475619Bettylou CoxDuchessRegistered On: May 26, 2019Topics: 21Replies: 2217Has thanked: 4563 timesBeen thanked: 8150 times
With my wife’s acceptance of Bettylou, I’m dressed en femme most of the time, now. Also retired and debt-free, so (for myself) I have no reason to worry – and I don’t. I do have some concern for my wife’s health, and my ability to care for all her needs…but that is all really beyond my control, so nothing gained by worrying. I spend a lot of time here, enjoying the company of all the lovely ladies on CDH.
- April 9, 2021 at 2:39 pm #475626Baroness - AnnualRegistered On: February 16, 2021Topics: 85Replies: 1821Has thanked: 6494 timesBeen thanked: 10196 times
You raise a very good point…we do tend to worry about things that are beyond our control…..it is easy to say don’t worry but we still do….and it’s pointless, because whatever happens….. tomorrow WILL come…
big huggs ❤️❤️
- April 9, 2021 at 1:57 pm #475613Eva KellyLadyRegistered On: March 1, 2021Topics: 7Replies: 317Has thanked: 3711 timesBeen thanked: 1575 times
I am pretty easy going person all around. But once in a while, I start to panic, what it the economy crashes or WWIII starts? Will I still be able to buy makeup and clothes? I better run to the store and buy more now! Nothing wrong with hoarding!
- April 9, 2021 at 1:44 pm #475610Gabriela RomaniManaging AmbassadorRegistered On: January 11, 2021Topics: 121Replies: 188Has thanked: 163 timesBeen thanked: 931 times
Thankfully, I don’t have many worries in life. The ones I have are those I can’t do anything about. My elderly parents health would be a prime example.
But I have to say that no, I don’t dress to leave my worries behind. It is not a escape, because I don’t need to escape. After all, we can escape from most anything, but never from ourselves. And… I love myself, who I am.
I am very lucky, but my wife would add that most of our luck comes attached to the long ours of prepararion and the long journeys at work.
Would I change some things in my life if I could? Very likely. But I wouldn’t change my very imperfect self for anybody! I know who I am, and I have been quite successful in something incredibly important: Integrating all aspects of who I am into my single, only and unique persona/personality. (Crazy as I am!!)
- April 9, 2021 at 1:29 pm #475604Rozalyne RichardsLadyRegistered On: March 10, 2018Topics: 0Replies: 602Has thanked: 1044 timesBeen thanked: 2109 times
Hi Grace i have more worries when I’m in man mode, will my pension stretch till next month when i get my next lot of money, will i ignore my wife to much and we end up having a barney, lots of little things like that x
The only worry i have when I’m dressed is my wife going to catch me this time and if she does is she going to throw me out on my ear x
Hugs Roz xxxxx
- April 9, 2021 at 1:12 pm #475600Jane MacLeodLadyRegistered On: March 4, 2021Topics: 2Replies: 29Has thanked: 49 timesBeen thanked: 175 times
Totally engrossed in my transformation to worry about anything else. When dressed just too busy enjoying the feeling. Got to think about what outfit to wear next and choosing shoes and tights to match.
- April 9, 2021 at 12:46 pm #475594Sarah Du HessisseLadyRegistered On: September 16, 2020Topics: 24Replies: 573Has thanked: 3690 timesBeen thanked: 2180 times
- April 9, 2021 at 12:58 pm #475596Baroness - AnnualRegistered On: February 16, 2021Topics: 85Replies: 1821Has thanked: 6494 timesBeen thanked: 10196 times
- April 9, 2021 at 1:07 pm #475598Sarah Du HessisseLadyRegistered On: September 16, 2020Topics: 24Replies: 573Has thanked: 3690 timesBeen thanked: 2180 times
Your right Grace its a common one, I don’t get stressed at all with life. The only thing in life that irks me my wife’s OCD, That’s really annoying if you don’t switch off. Its better to switch off think about Sarah time and not fall out with each other.
- April 9, 2021 at 12:44 pm #475593Wendy SwiftLadyRegistered On: May 11, 2020Topics: 5Replies: 498Has thanked: 419 timesBeen thanked: 2145 times
Oh good question.
To sum up, yes. With day to day stress like work (boo !!), covid and the pandemic + continued lockdowns, politics, and finances, it takes its toll on a person.
However, once I start the transformation into Wendy, the moment I start applying make up primer, all those worries seem to bite the dust. Mind you, it hasn’t gone away but it does provide me with an “escape” from those stressors. I do feel more relaxed as Wendy.
It would also explain – since I’m still working from home – why I constantly think about full transformation into Wendy everytime I start work.
- April 9, 2021 at 11:51 am #475575Candice WaymooreLadyRegistered On: April 2, 2021Topics: 2Replies: 16Has thanked: 121 timesBeen thanked: 101 times
This one is hard to answer for me. I luv the process of getting dressed. Shaving, choosing which pair of pretty panties, bra, stockings? Skirt, dress, wig? All of it. I don’t luv the result yet because I still mostly look and feel like a “man in a dress”. But I know my blood pressure drops and I feel a sense of comfort and calm.
But then I feel a wave of guilt, then shame. Because…why? Why did I just spend this time dressing like a woman? To what end? I am a man with obligations and debts responsibilities I can barely fulfill.
I am very lucky. I have a wife who encourages me to get in touch with my feminine side. She buys me clothes and tells me when my packages arrive. But I still feel like I have a weak, dirty need to look pretty.
I guess I’m just a work in progress
ps. I think I have a feminine name I’ll be ready to share soon. Big step. I think I’ll go cry now.
- April 9, 2021 at 1:22 pm #475603Rozalyne RichardsLadyRegistered On: March 10, 2018Topics: 0Replies: 602Has thanked: 1044 timesBeen thanked: 2109 times
- April 9, 2021 at 1:36 pm #475607
- April 9, 2021 at 12:05 pm #475581Baroness - AnnualRegistered On: February 16, 2021Topics: 85Replies: 1821Has thanked: 6494 timesBeen thanked: 10196 times
Please don’t you dare feel guilty…and no way should you feel dirty or shame!!!…
you said your blood pressure drops…feeling calm, feeling better???…you have obligations and debts, but dressing makes you feel good…your wife understands and encourages you which is a tremendous advantage to begin with….so live your dream….be free.
- April 9, 2021 at 11:47 am #475573Jamie PeridotLadyRegistered On: February 19, 2021Topics: 1Replies: 267Has thanked: 1568 timesBeen thanked: 823 times
- April 9, 2021 at 11:20 am #475562Clara CrossLadyRegistered On: December 7, 2020Topics: 10Replies: 327Has thanked: 926 timesBeen thanked: 1519 times
Good question Grace. I hope for most the answer is, “yes, I leave all my troubles behind”.
I’m usually not a big worrier myself so I don’t see that dressing has an impact on my worries one way or the other.
A few thoughts: It seems like most often our concerns have to do with things we don’t have complete control over. If you are a problem-solver type, you probably relish the challenge in overcoming difficulties. But when something is beyond your ability to control, that’s where the worry, the angst, the second guessing come in. It might seem obvious then that the best way to reduce worry is to let go and release that need to control.
In the context of your question, I know that any of my worries are more about the challenges of others than any of my own. I get concerned when I read about any of our girlfriends here struggling with self acceptance and/or acceptance from loved ones. I feel genuine concern when anyone is having a hard time. My heart goes out and yes, I sometimes do worry about all of our lovely gals.
- April 9, 2021 at 12:15 pm #475583Baroness - AnnualRegistered On: February 16, 2021Topics: 85Replies: 1821Has thanked: 6494 timesBeen thanked: 10196 times
Lovely reply…I think we are birds of a feather …
“I feel genuine concern when anyone is having a hard time. My heart goes out and yes, I sometimes do worry about all of our lovely gals.”…
Huggs, grace ❤️
- April 9, 2021 at 10:57 am #475539Eona OhLadyRegistered On: March 7, 2021Topics: 5Replies: 125Has thanked: 460 timesBeen thanked: 564 times
No. I do feel less stress but I have different worries; mostly, how will friends and family react to Eona. I’m still in the very early discovery stage so, I’m not in a rush to find out.
Love and Kisses,
- April 9, 2021 at 11:03 am #475543
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