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    • #714473

      Hi ladies!

      As I was getting dressed, I realized how very fortunate I am. Why? Because after I came out to my wife, although she doesn’t want to see me as a woman, we came up with several compromises and guidelines, and one of the very best was that now I don’t have to hide that part of myself, which also means all my wonderfully feminine things (wigs, clothes, lingerie, shoes, makeup, jewelry, etc.) that allow me to become the woman I want to be have been taken out of hiding. We agreed that I could move my things into the spare bedroom (that has its own closet, dresser, as well as an attached bathroom), so now I have a room just for me! But I also realize that may not be the situation for all my sisters here.

      So of course, that got me to wondering…

      Do you still have to hide your things after you came out to your loved one(s)?



    • #714480

      Hi Holly,

      I voted no which kind of makes sense once the, um, cat is out of the bag. So liberating!

      Each GG is different, of course, and YMMV so reveal as appropriate – but for me it worked.

      Thanks for asking.

    • #714484

      My SO tolerates but is no cheerleader.  She knows about my clothes, but I don’t leave the undies out.  Most outer garments are her hand me downs.  She doesn’t want to see me applying makeup or dressing.  Once enfemme, she will interact  only as needed, often goes to another room.  Does NOT want me to go out , and would NEVER go out with me.  She seldom buys things for herself and wishes Lorraine would be more thrifty. Fat chance!😏

      • #714612

        Hi, I tried to hide my crossdressing because she would become I rate, well she confronted me that she knew for awhile so I can’t keep anything out. She gave me an ultimatum I couldn’t wear my clothes in my town she didn’t want my clothes in the closet or see me in makeup. I thought she would want a divorce but she asked me to go to marriage counselor. In some ways maybe it would better then I could move to a different town and enjoy dressing up. But I will see what happens in the future but if it doesn’t work I would consider transitioning to be a woman.

    • #714495

      After I came out to the wife and we got through the typical discussions and Q & A’s she actually began to help me buy clothes and did so for a couple of years. Now she no longer helps me acquire clothes but seeing my fem stuff is no big deal to her. I keep things in our walk in closet, in a cedar hope chest, in soft suitcases in a closet and out in an out building. Yep I have too much fem stuff now and I need to go through it and donate but can a girl ever have too much lingerie? I think not. My panties are in my dresser drawer and she even borrows some now and then. It could have gone either way but coming out to her lifted a great burden and stress off my shoulders and I don’t have to hide anymore.

    • #714501

      I don’t hide any of my things. Matter of fact I only wash my panties and lingerie by hand and hang them on the shower bar with hangers to dry. Funny thing is that my wife started doing the same thing. She never did that before and she loves that nothing gets ruined in the washer or the dryer now. lol

    • #714514

      After I introduced Wendy to my wife, it was gradual but I can safely say now that Wendy’s stuff is mostly in the spare bedroom.  It is such a relief not to hide stuff anymore, and the bigger fear is having Wendy’s stuff stumbled upon.

      One sort of downside with everything in the open is my wife just helps herself to my makeup, and she has been browsing my wardrobe to see what will work for her.   Luckily most of my clothes are skirts and no sleeve tops, something she doesn’t wear to work.  But she has pretty much commandeered my fave black cami.



    • #714556

      No.  Everything is out in the open, hung up in the closet or in my dresser.  Most of my drab stuff is put away.  I do think I have to slowly donate some of Susans stuff since the closet is packed.


    • #714581
      Sherri Remington
      Duchess - Annual

      Holly I voted no but I also don’t leave my things out, I am careful to not leave anything in sight in case someone goes looking, like my son or a visitor. But I don’t have to hide anything because I’m not afraid that she’ll find it.


    • #714603

      We share almost all things except footwear, makeup, and lingerie.

    • #714614

      Hi Holly, good question but possibly a complicated one for quite a few.
      In my case my wife knows I underdress daily (panties, stockings, holdups etc and the ocassional bra) but is not a real supporter.
      She has accepted most of the underware and I openly keep these in my bedside drawers organised nice an neat.
      It does greatly annoy her that my lingerie is nicer and skimpier than most of her and she would check the drawers every now and then.
      She is only about 30% on a bra so I only openly keep 2 or 3 plain ones in these drawers.
      She knows I have other bras and underware which I keep stored in a special DADT box in my wardrobe.
      She does not know that I fully dress (makeup, wig etc) when I get the chance and would simply blow her top and without doubt the relationship would be over (the camels back thing).
      In that case, all my other clothing etc is unfortunately well hidden from her.
      I pray daily for the day to be fully open and be able to be myself with her in all aspects but in reality I know this will never be.

    • #714683


      I voted no on this. It was actually my wife that suggested that I tried crossdressing. I had been open with her about wearing panties and she told me if I wanted to try more then I should. She helped me pick out some things from her closet to try on and then told me to go shopping on my own. She said if I wanted to dress like I needed to be able to put together my own outfits. Now all my stuff is in the open, I have a section in my closet for my girl clothes and my wigs are hanging up in her closet. I had to get a small dresser for my bras and panties but nothing is hidden from her.

    • #714714
      Emily Alt
      Managing Ambassador

      When I came out to my GF, I stopped hiding things.  But I also made an effort to not leave anything in plain sight.  We had a DADT arrangement.  I live alone now so there’s stuff all over in plain sight.


    • #714722

      Since coming out to my wife, nothing is hidden any more from her. However I do still hid my clothes from other family members and our home help (when she visits – shoes and breast forms are hidden, but they clothes are left in the cupboard as they could easily be my wife’s).
      But I am so grateful to my wife for letting me be open about myself and for letting me have a full wardrobe and makeup cupboard. It makes life so much easier and enjoyable.

    • #714730

      Holly –

      I have a closet in my study that I hav my dresses, skirts, blouses and nighties hanging up in, I keep my lingerie, stockings and pantyhose, leggings and such in a duffle bag in the closet, my wig is on a stand on top of a desk, as well as my jewelry boxes, shoes are either on the floor or in their boxes.  My wife is well aware of where my things are.  If we have company or the grandkids come over the door to that room gets locked.  Part of the reason for  that is that there are other things in there people don’t need to be messing with.  Oh yeah, my make up is in a cosmetic bag in a drawer in the vanity in the bathroom.



    • #714731

      I voted yes since I am only out to my wife and that’s the way we both prefer it.  Anything that could be my wife’s such as dresses and lingerie are in her section of the closet or dresser   All other things such as a wig, breast forms, shoes and shape wear are locked in a suitcase away from prying eyes.

    • #714760
      Gail Rich

      My wife knows I dress. She has seen me in lingerie and nightgowns to sleep. She does not want to see me fully dressed. I do keep dresses skirts and tops in my closet. I keep my lingerie in my dresser. But I also have a secret stash that I keep hidden. I don’t think she would be comfortable with the amount of clothes I have. I also keep shoes, wig, breast forms and make up hidden

      • #714769

        Hello Gail I have the same relationship as you do my wife knows I dress up she just lets me be me but she just lets me dress when she is not home

      • #714929

        I have the same issue with my wife I thought she was more open minded she doesn’t care that I paint my toenails.

      • #715335
        Lola Caprice

        Mine is just the opposite.  She’s fine with me fully dressed and often enjoys the girl time, but the one place she draws the line is in the bed.  She says she just prefers to wake up next to the man she married.

    • #714792
      J J

      She has know I love lingerie for years and I have maintained my own drawers in our lingerie chest. As I added other items I did not hide them, but I kept them in a bottom drawer and certainly ‘didn’t advertise them. I just told her I like to dress and she was fine with it and that she may have seen things in my drawer…she hadn’t. Now I just hang my few dresses on my side of the closet. When we had a home tour, she did move them to a little less obvious place, but they stayed on my side.

      While my wife would be just as happy if I never dressed, she accepts that I enjoy it and she participates. She has never set any “rules”, but prefers I keep it quiet and once said “you probably shouldn’t go out in public.” I agree, I probably shouldn’t, but I do.

    • #714798

      So, I chose other because it’s complicated. For some of my loved ones I do. One who lives with me is the one I hide them for though they know. I don’t think I would have to hide them for anyone else. Maybe a few others. No idea yet. Oof it’s complicated lol.

    • #714825

      April’s things are kept in a separate room with a closet a dresser and couple of cabinets and jewelry armoire. My wife prefers not to share a closet with any of April’s things. The room is kept locked unless it is time for April to have a day my wife does have a key to the room.

      • #714836

        Yes, when she confronted me she act like it was the end of the world. She said she didn’t trust me if I would told her she would’ve  acted the same way.

    • #714831

      My wife knows but prefers to not share a closet with Danielle. She said the woman of the house does not like to see another woman’s clothes in her closet. I resect that. So my clothes are in a downstairs closet along with my forms, padding and shoes. I do have two drawers in our shared closet stuffed with my panties, hosiery and bras. She seams to be ok with that. I still wish upon a star that someday i can share more of my femme side with her. Sigh!

      • #714872

        Patience, small steps. Try to discuss different things with her casually like,  Color’s, style#,etc, that way you keep her mindset in the loop. You could be her sister and that would not be the same as another woman in the house.

    • #714928

      Yes, its a pain to have to store them in a plastic bin.

    • #714946

      Hi All,

      Luckily no. Karensa has her own section of a basement closet, but away from the other items in the master bedroom. Anyone else from the outside wouldn’t really be looking there anyway, but if they were to, it’s just some dresses, outfits, shoes, etc..



    • #715072

      I came out to my sister and she is not accepting all of me. We have been shopping together and she has bought me several skirts and some jewelry but she doesn’t want to see me as Allysa. So when she visits I put my good clothes out of site and dress as a man. Huge YUCK.

    • #715332
      Lola Caprice

      Not from my sweetie, she even offered to let me hang Lola’s stuff with hers so our daughters won’t notice.  But our youngest often does household chores for us even though she’s on her own…great kid,  so I hide it from her, especially since I now have things like breast forms ect.  I’m not ready to come out to them yet although I don’t know why.  When our youngest was in high school I was usually the one who took her clothes shopping.  One time she jokingly said ‘Dad you’re like my gay best friend!’.  I told her I take that as a compliment, she responded that’s how it was meant.  😊


    • #715373

      I came out to my wife almost six years ago and I still keep my things hidden. I should say they aren’t hidden, more out of sight. Everything is packed away to keep them from being discovered by my children, my wife found my stash a couple of years ago and said nothing about finding it but I could tell things were disturbed. At the time she was aware of it for a few years but I still couldn’t help but feel uncomfortable with her seeing my things. The abstract thought of her husband being a cd is one thing but the evidence of it was another thing entirely. Hopefully in the future when my children move out maybe I can take Melanie’s wardrobe out of the shadows and we will become more comfortable with this part of my life.

    • #715377

      I vote yes.




      I hide myself away from people like inlaws, parents, child.

      When I go shopping, I bring things home and put them away.  Out of habit, not fear.  My wife knows and does not want me hiding things.  She wants to trust me completely so I should not hide, but I still do now and then.

      I get dressed in front of her she sees me pull on my panties and walk around the house in just panties without a thought.  But we are going to my sister in law tonight and I will hide my painted toes and my Panties from her.


    • #715430

      I’m happy to say that my girly wardrobe is all out in the open. It’s fabulous after all those years of having to stash things away to be able to hang my skirts and blouses up to keep them crease-free – I’ve bought loads of little pleated skirts since I came out as a result of that! lol  Also to be able to launder my clothes regularly and openly is great.

      After coming out to her, my partner insisted that we turn our spare bedroom into my ‘dressing room’. I’m almost embarrassed to say (but over the moon about the fact) that in the (less than) two years since I told her, I have managed to fill just about every storage space in the room with my clothes.

      • #715459

        I voted yes – in part because I am not sure if what I do is hiding. I too benefit from an understanding spouse who knows I dress feminine from time to time, but our agreement is such that I keep it to myself (and the makeup artist near by). But Holly like yours, my spouse does not want to participate. So I keep my things in a separate room and wear them when she is out.

        She knows I do it, she knows about my feminine wardrobe, and I sometimes show her photographs. Showing her photographs actually helped her accept my feminine side. But apart from showing her photographs and the occasional laundry room encounter when we have to separate flannel shirts and pantyhose, she does not see my things.

        Is that hiding my things?

    • #745337

      My wardrobes and drawers are an eclectic mix of clothing and colours. The only exclusive area is underwear drawer which is 100% femme.

    • #745536

      I have three shirts that button the guy way. There is nothing else in my dresser or main closet that is male. (I have some in a storage closet.) If I hid stuff my dresser would be very empty.

    • #745608

      Other: about 95% of my clothes are where my wife can find them in our shared, small closet, if she chooses to look. The rest will come out when there is more room.

    • #745609

      Prior to coming out to my wife I thoroughly hid my items. Since coming out to her and she being “tolerant” that I dress and own some clothes she does not want to see anything related to my alternate dressing. I don’t hide items but I also do not put them on display. They are are in boxes on the top shelf of our closet or a suitcase under my desk. She knows of and sees the boxes and suit case and knows the contents but does not open them. Don’t ask. don’t tell.

    • #757213

      I don’t want my wife going through my wardrobe and judging what I wear based on her standards.

    • #757257

      I couldn’t hide my female clothing. There is too much of it. Over 100 skirts, 25 or more dresses, dozens of tops, T-shirts, blouses…. Underwear, shoes…. I have more female clothing than my wife does, and she has a lot!.
      I fully appreciated ow lucky I am. I’ve been Cerys for 6 days on the run. There are rules, no nails being the one that is annoying me lately, but 100% Cerys including hair, make up and perfume. I was Cerys for 5 weeks when I came out of hospital!
      I couldn’t hide my stuff is I wanted to 🙂


    • #757268

      My amazing wife has known from day one, so I’m lucky and never had to hide anything. Our daughter (18) has known for years but hasn’t met Cassie, yet.
      I’ve caught both of them raiding my closet for tops and dresses at times.

    • #757303
      Caty Ryan

      I’m in a long standing DADT relationship, so things like my lingerie breast forms and  and old old wig are kept at home, “hiding in plain sight”. We sleep in separate rooms and beds and she only goes into my room to vacuum .

      As for outerwear, make up and yes, more wigs and lingerie, they reside in a 10ft sq storage unit about 30 mins from home. As I have stated in the past,I got lucky, cos it has natural light and power. So I carpeted it and put in an old desk, so’s I can spend time down there not only playing around with Caty’s things, but also my guitar and amplifier.

      All by outerwear, dresses, skirts tops etc are hung on a double “retail dress rack

      There’s also about 1/2 of my wine collection stored there

      Happy dressing


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